The incoming prime minister could find his time in office limited if he fails to ingratiate himself with Larry, the most admired Briton in the Commonwealth
They’re dropping like flies.
UK prime ministers haven’t been lasting very long of late, with the British public highly critical of the way they’re running the country, and more importantly, the many ways they’ve failed to adequately serve the real power in No. 10 Downing St.
We’re talking about Larry the Cat, of course, who has lived in No. 10 since 2011. (The building is technically the prime minister’s home and office, but among the people it’s known as Larry’s House.)
Inadequate humans.
With Keir Starmer announcing his resignation, Larry has now outlasted six prime ministers, and the clock is already ticking on the seventh.
Prime ministers come and go. Larry endures.
"I have accepted Keir Starmer's resignation as my chief servant and have invited Andy Burnham to lay out details for how many meals a day he'll give me" pic.twitter.com/7Ix95PMsN7
Q: So the theme of this interview is humans, specifically humans you admire. Would we be correct in assuming your human is at the top of your list?
Buddy: You would not.
Q: Uh, okay. Why not?
Buddy: Because he’s a wimp! A pushover. Weak.
Q: Wow. Okay. So who are some humans you admire?
Buddy: Let’s see. Genghis Khan. Tony Soprano. Xerxes of Persia. Kim Jong Il was pretty cool even if his hair was not. The Tokugawa shoguns. King Joffrey’s a classic. Nero. Ivan the Terrible. Oh! Commodus from Gladiator, he’s another good one.
Q: Seriously?
Buddy: Yeah!
Buddy and the humans he admires.
Q: But why? They’re all tyrants!
Buddy: Exactly.
Q: You consider that a positive personality trait?
Buddy: I love a good tyrant. I’m an aspiring tyrant myself, you know. Some would say I’ve already achieved tyranthood, although my tyrannical activities have been small time so far. I say when it’s bed time, I demand snacks whenever I please, I’ve banned closed doors in my domicile, I collect protection treats from the other cats in the building, I’ve…
Q: That sounds a bit more than small time.
Buddy: Indeed, but I haven’t realized my plan to take over the world. World domination has always been my dream, even as a kitten.
Q: What would world domination under Emperor Buddy look like?
Buddy: Well first of all, we’d have to have the humans build a replica of the Coliseum. The cats need entertainment, and I need a place to feed my enemies to tigers. Plus we can make the humans fight each other for our amusement whilst I sit in my imperial box where beautiful women feed me candied figs and my servants fan me to keep me cool.
Q: Uh…
Buddy: And then we invade Turkey to plunder all their turkey. I’ve given a lot of thought to that, obviously. My personal guards will be an elite group of lions called the, uh, Lion Guard. They’d look all intimidating and stuff in their resplendant armor. Also, I would summon a group of the best engineers, experts in biomechanics, and luxury car designers to create vehicles for my people.
Buddy’s Lion Guards stand watch around his imperial personage.
Q: You want cars for cats?
Buddy: Exactly.
Q: But lots of people would object to sharing the road with you guys…
Buddy: They don’t have a choice, remember? I’m the emperor!
Q: Right. Well, this has been an, uh, enlightening inter…
Buddy: I say when the interview is over!
Q: Er, okay. Is there anything you wanted to add?
Buddy: During my reign, there will be mandatory nap times. Also, when I enter a room everyone must stand, not only because they should bow and say “My liege,” which sounds pretty cool, but also so I can pick the spot I want. If any human was sitting there, they will move, of course.
Q: Of course. If I may…
An Imperial Buddesian coin featuring a likeness of Imperator Buddy. This 10-can coin entitles the bearer to 10 cans of premium cat food.
Buddy: Yes?
Q: Where does your human fit into all of this?
Buddy: Which one? All the humans will be my loyal subjects when I’m emperor.
Q: You know. Your human. The one who adopted you and takes care of you, feeds you, cleans up after you, rubs your head and tells you how brave you’ve been when you get scared…
Buddy: Fake news! I don’t get scared.
Q: My apologies. Of course you don’t get scared, nothing could frighten you! So what happens to your human when you’re Emperor Buddy?
Buddy: That’s an excellent question, one I haven’t given much thought to yet. I could make him the High Warlord, grant him a dukedom, or put him in charge of the mint to oversee the handsome new coins featuring my likeness on them. But I have trouble sleeping unless I’m draped over him, and it would be a pain to train someone new to make things just the way I like them, so he can be Bates.
Q: Bates?
Bates, right, assists Lord Grantham changing into his dinner wear on Downton Abbey. Buddy envisions his human holding the position of Bates in his Buddesian Empire.
Buddy: Yeah. Like on Downton Abbey. My personal servant, separate from all the palace servants.
Q: Ah…
Buddy: I’d just feel more comfortable if he were always within three feet of me. That is non-negotiable. And with that, I now formally declare this interview concluded. If you’ll just step over there please, my Master of Great Works will take down your information so that, if the final published version of this interview is displeasing to me, we can send you to the mines along with everyone else I don’t like upon my ascension to the throne. Cheers!
The animation studio’s forthcoming movie is about crime cats who rule Venice with an iron paw.
Cats are cute and furry but they’re also tyrants who are ruthless when it comes to getting what they want.
Maybe that’s why they’re perfect as mobsters, something the creative minds at Pixar realized when they decided their next animated feature would involve feline mafiosos.
Titled Gatto, the movie is slated to hit theaters in 2027, but you can see a preview below. In the film’s first trailer, Mark Ruffalo’s Nero, a skinny black cat, assists the local mafia boss cat, voiced by Laurence Fishburne, in interrogating a ginger tabby about a missing can of tuna.
They’re quite serious about the missing tuna until they get distracted in a most feline way:
Which reminds me: it’s been ages since we checked in on Buddy’s sworn enemies, Los Gatos cartel, and the Machiavellian maneuvers of the catnip wars… The cartels vs the meowfia promises to be a catnip clash for the ages!
Buddy cuts a dashing figure in his slick Italian suit.
A historic game and absolute madness at Madison Square Garden as the Knicks take another step toward winning it all.
Things were looking extremely grim last night.
Big KAT, Karl Anthony Towns, was pulled from the game after the refs charged him with two phantom fouls within 65 seconds of the tip-off. Suddenly one of the Knicks’ best players — and the top threat to Spurs star Victor Wembanyama — was sidelined.
The Spurs seized the momentum and charged ahead, splashing a barrage of three-pointers to put them up 27 points by halftime, a lead they extended to 29 in the third quarter.
No team in NBA Finals history had ever overcome such a deficit, and only one other team had done it in the playoffs.
The Knicks were cooked.
But the Spurs forgot they were playing the same Knicks team that erased a 22-point deficit with only 7 minutes to go against Cleveland last round of the playoffs. The same team that rampaged its way to the Finals, winning 13 games in a row against the league’s best teams and winning those games by a margin of almost 24 points each.
So the Knicks came roaring back, erasing the lead as Madison Square Garden shook with thunderous energy.
Jalen Brunson, aka The Maestro, aka The Brunson Burner, aka He Who Breaks Defenders’ Ankles With His Crossover, aka Captain Clutch.
Wembanyama, who has been making dirty plays all postseason — choking, shoving and elbowing other players while the league refused to discipline him — made a spectacle of himself in the first half.
With his team carrying an apparently insurmountable lead, Wemby strutted across the court and mocked the Knicks. He turned to Knicks center Mitchell Robinson, pointed and shouted “I’m in your head!”
As retired NFL player Tiki Barber later observed, Wemby “deserved to get punked.”
And punked he got. He was absolutely helpless in the second half as KAT returned to the game and the twin attack of Knicks guard Jalen Brunson and forward OG Anunoby sank threes, found open teammates with timely passes, drove the lane with authority, blocked shots, forced turnovers, and showed absolute disregard for history, pressure or the taunts of the Spurs.
Finally, with less than 10 seconds remaining and the Spurs up one, Brunson launched a three pointer which clanked off the rim, bounced high in the air … and was tipped into the basket by a skywalking Anunoby, whose perfectly timed leap and gentle touch on the ball won the game.
The winning play: OG Anunoby skies high for the game-winning tip-in. In Ogogua we trust!
The Spurs had possession and enough time to get one more shot off for the game-winner, but the Knicks made sure they didn’t get the opportunity when Big Kat deflected the inbounds pass and the buzzer sounded before the Spurs could get the shot off.
One game.
One game away from a world championship for the first time in 53 years!
Monica McNutt to Taylor Swift during the broadcast: “Go home, girl.” We love you, Monica!
Random notes:
We disown the Knicks “fans” who waited to greet the dejected Spurs in front of their hotel, throwing eggs and insults and doing childish things with laser pointers. You dumb mongos. If you can’t be graceful in victory, you’re not worthy of our team or city. Stay home. We don’t want you around.
Taylor Swift showed up to MSG and sat in courtside seats, which she was given for free, with a backup squad of less famous girlfriends to help her channel her Main Character energy. Swift showed up to a game last round to cheer on the Cleveland Cavaliers against the Knicks, she’s been photographed wearing the jerseys of Lakers, Miami Heat and other teams’ players, but suddenly she was Knicks Fan Number One, decked in orange and blue with a shirt that said “Stevie Knicks.” There are fans who have cheered the team years before I was born when they won their last few titles, and they couldn’t even get in the door when the worst nosebleed seats were going for $8,000 apiece, but Taylor Swift decided to become a Knicks fan at the last possible moment before they win it all, and every few plays were punctuated by the cameras capturing Taylor’s Reactions (Taylor’s Version), Taylor’s Celebratory Dances (Taylor’s Version), and Taylor’s Excitement Era as she savored the victory she’s waited five hours for. When some New York media figures, including the beloved Knicks radio commentator Monica McNutt, expressed annoyance, Taylor’s Minions predictably went after them with all their doxxing, harassing, misplaced fury. Go Taylor! You’ll have a spot on the parade float if you want it. Maybe you’ll even win series MVP, because surely the Knicks would not have made history without you there.
Having Taylor Swift take on Main Character duties was still better than having President Trump at game three. Not only were watch parties around the Garden canceled and a several-blocks-wide security perimeter established, but fans had to show up at least two hours early for “TSA-style” screening, no bags were allowed, and every business within a 5-block radius was deprived of normal foot traffic so Trump could sleep through the game next to Knicks owner James Dolan. The security and logistics nightmare alone is compelling enough reason for sitting presidents to stay away from events like this, and that applies to any president of any political stripe. It’s just not a good idea.
Longtime Knicks fans and New Yorkers on hand included Spike Lee, the Wu Tang Clan, Fat Joe, Tracy Morgan, Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld, John McEnroe, Mariska Hargitay, and Ben Stiller. Sydney Sweeney and Scooter Braun were bumped off celebrity row, presumably by Taylor Swift, and sat three rows back.
OG Anunoby is a hilariously earnest dude. When asked how he was feeling after the game, he said: “Yeah, I’m happy! Everyone’s happy!” I love that he has no social media presence, seeks no publicity, and reportedly likes to stay home and play video games. Now can we build a statue of him delivering the winning tip-in to greet fans at MSG?
LOL Victor Wembanyama, Mr. Ethical Basketball. If the Knicks close this series out, Wemby will have a long summer to consider the pros and cons of Ethical Taunting, Ethical Villainy, and the wisdom of launching three pointers when you’re 7’4″ and don’t even have to jump to touch the rim. If I were a Spurs fan, that last bit would really bother me. Live by the three, die by the three. They don’t keep on falling forever, as the Celtics can attest. When your shot goes cold, attack the basket!
These NBA Finals have reached viewership numbers not seen since the Michael Jordan era, when there were approximately 10,000 fewer channels, websites and other entertainment options to divide the attention of audiences. That’s impressive and good for the sport. However, we are well past the saturation point when it comes to the league milking every last second of airtime and flat surface for sponsorships. The fact that we have to pay a premium to watch games that already subject us to 120+ commercials is bad enough. Now the logos of gambling platforms and other corporate sponsors cover the courts and jerseys as well as the traditional arena signage, and everything from the starting lineup to the scoreboard and replays is “brought to you by” some corporate sponsor. Enough. The NBA is going to kill its product if it saddles its games with even more stoppages and mandatory ad breaks.
Cats are highly attuned to our emotions, especially when we share a strong bond with our little buddies.
I realized I needed to calm down when Bud turned and gave me a wide-eyed, uncertain stare.
It was the fourth quarter of the NBA Finals’ second game, and the San Antonio Spurs were chipping away at the New York Knicks’ lead with ample help from the referees.
The Spurs collapsed in as the Knicks’ Karl Anthony Towns (KAT, or Big Kat as he’s fondly known) drove the lane, pummeling him and grabbing at his shooting hand while the refs just watched.
It had been happening all night. Spurs star Victor Wembanyama even grabbed a much smaller Knicks player by the neck and tossed him at one point without so much as a peep from the refs.
(Above: 7’4″ Spurs center Victor Wembanyama grabs 6-foot Knicks points guard Jose Alvarado by the neck and tosses him. The refs did nothing.)
I shouted something not nice as the refs ignored the bludgeoning and the Spurs barreled down the other end for another bucket.
Then I saw Bud’s alarmed face and his uncertain crouch.
“Aw, sh–,” I said, softening my tone and doing my best to sound reassuring. “Not you, Bud. I love you, little guy.”
I held out my fingers, Bud rubbed his cheek against them happily, and we returned to watching the game as I scratched his head.
Still, it was a much-needed reminder that our little pals look to us for emotional cues, and our bad moods have a profound impact on them.
Jalen Brunson is the Knicks’ captain and point guard. Josh Hart (header image) is the team’s “Hart and soul.” Credit: Wikimedia Commons
I will never forget what my brother observed one day when Buddy was still a kitten: “You’re his whole world.”
Bud likes to pretend otherwise, of course, but the point stands. He picks up on everything, and it is deeply unfair for me to allow any outside emotions to impact him. Making sure he’s happy means everything to me.
The comedian Bill Burr has a bit about this, putting it in more crude — but much more hilarious — terms:
Happily, despite the abominable officiating, the Knicks won the game. They have now won 13 games in a row in the playoffs (!), they haven’t lost a game in six weeks, and after defeating the Spurs twice on their home court, the Knicks return to New York two wins away from being NBA champions…for the first time in 53 years.
It’s not only a big deal to me and millions of New Yorkers, it’s something I’ve wanted so badly since I was a kid watching the Knicks reach the Finals in 1994 and 1999, falling agonizingly short both times.
The Knicks came within a game of winning it all in the 1994 NBA Finals when Patrick Ewing (pictured) was the team’s leader.
Wembanyama, San Antonio’s best player, is a towering 7’4″ and doesn’t even have to jump to dunk the basketball, while the Knicks’ best player is Jalen Brunson, who at six feet tall is diminutive by NBA standards.
Wembanyama was the number one pick in his draft, already hailed as the future of the sport before he set foot on the hardwood. Brunson was the 33rd pick in the second round in his draft class, an afterthought who wasn’t predicted to be anything more than a bench player at best.
OG Anunoby, who hails from the UK, is a lockdown defender and explosive scorer. Credit: Wikimedia Commons
When the Knicks signed Brunson four years ago, the entire sports world laughed. One ESPN “expert” insisted the idiot Knicks had pinned their hopes on a “role player,” while another compared Brunson to one of the team’s all time great busts. A third declared the Knicks would never win anything with Brunson leading the team.
And yet here we are on the cusp of history. The Knicks aren’t just two games from a championship, and they haven’t merely punched their ticket to the Finals. They have absolutely obliterated every team they’ve faced, sweeping the last two series and winning by a margin of almost 24 points per game.
But it ain’t over until they win it, so I’m heartened by what the Knicks’ KAT and Mikal Bridges both said after the last two games: they’re treating each game as if they have no lead, as if they must fight tooth and nail to save their season. They are not resting on their laurels, they’re not taking anything for granted, and they refuse to underestimate their opponents.
So let’s hope they win two more and finally bring a championship home, at which time Bud and I will partay!
Pain In The Bud 