Tag: cat humor

Dear Buddy: I Didn’t Know You Were The Voice Of Elmo!

Buddy becomes increasingly agitated as kittens and cats write in to praise him for voicing the beloved Sesame Street character, Elmo.

Dear Little Buddy,

You’re a humble dude, you know that? All this time we’ve gotten to know you through your blog, with your human sharing stories about your many exploits and adventures, and not once did anyone bother to mention you’re the voice of Elmo.

Of course it makes perfect sense. Who better to play a fluffy, adorable character than a fluffy, adorable kitty?

So now the cat’s out of the bag, tell us: what’s it like voicing Elmo? Are you a method actor, and if so, do you take on the personality of Elmo even when the camera isn’t rolling? Is it hot in that costume? Are you friends with Big Bird? Is Oscar really a grouch off camera?

Your fan,

Cornelius the Kitten

Dear Cornelius,

I am NOT Elmo! I don’t play Elmo, I definitely don’t sound like Elmo, and I don’t even like Elmo!

I don’t know where this slander originated, but clearly someone is jealous of me for being an apex predator with huge meowscles, so they spread these hurtful Elmorian rumors.

Buddy the Tiger

Dear Buddy,

I get it! You’re not Elmo just like Bruce Wayne isn’t Batman. Your identity is safe with me! (But good job playing the character, wink wink!)

Your friend,

Cornelius the Kitten

Dear Buddy,

The kitten is right, you sound exactly like Elmo. When you try to roar it sounds like an extremely constipated Elmo a day after eating PF Chang’s. Your trills sound like Elmo using DuoLingo to learn Spanish.

Go to Youtube, search “tiger roaring” and try to keep a straight face while insisting you sound like a tiger instead of Elmo.

Okay, Elmo?

Grover Fan in Gainesville

Grover Fan,

FAKE NEWS!

Buddy

Dear Elmo,

Can I have your autograph? It’s okay, I know you’re really a cat, you can sign it with your paw.

PS – I love your songs!

Your friend,

Kitten Jimmy

Jimmy,

I am NOT Elmo!!!

Buddy

Wordless Wednesday: Movie Stars

Little Buddy is the brains and the badass. Big Buddy is the sidekick. Script by Little Buddy.

Wait, I’m the sidekick? Why am I the sidekick?

Home Inspector Freaked Out By Large Maine Coon [VIDEO]

The surprised home inspector made a phone call from inside the owner’s living room, reporting “an intimidatingly large cat.”

Home camera footage shows a housing inspector who enters a family’s living room and stops dead in his tracks because he sees…a Maine Coon?!

The inspector was concerned enough that he phoned back to the office to report an “intimidatingly large cat.”

“I’m doing a home inspection now and, like, there’s this cat here, and it’s a very large size cat,” he tells the person on the other end of the line. “You know how you see a cat and they have a cute face? This cat is like… I might eat you later.”

What’d he think it was, a lynx?

@rachbiscuit22

pippy girl #fyp #explore #catsoftiktok #mainecoon #viral

♬ original sound – biscuit22

Of course we get this sort of thing all the time here at Casa de Buddy. Oftentimes people will hear Little Buddy’s terrifying roar and cast an uncertain glance my way.

“Dude, you got Elmo locked in a room or something?”

Followed inevitably by Bud’s indignant reply.

“I do NOT sound like Elmo! I’m a tiger, I just haven’t hit my growth spurt yet.”

So there you have it. Weird things can happen when you have a huge cat in your home…or one who sounds like Elmo.

Buddy The Cat Bravely Scares Off Yuge Bear!

“Hold my beer,” Buddy said after watching a video of another feline sending a pair of bears running with an awesome display of fiery intimidation.

NEW YORK — The bear picked the wrong home and the wrong cat to mess with.

Buddy the Cat was taking his traditional 3 pm nap after third lunch when he was rudely disturbed by a ruckus outside.

“Stay here, I will check it out,” he told his human, then hopped down from the couch as his powerful stride took him toward the sliding glass doors leading out to the balcony.

A huge form was huddled just outside the glass, and when the lumbering beast turned, Buddy took a sharp breath. It was a bear, a particularly impressive specimen.

Lesser felines would have been terrified, but Buddy stood calmly before the bear and addressed it.

“Inferior animal,” the fearless feline announced. “Yes, you! You are trespassing on Buddesian territory. I order you to cease any and all ursine activity and return forthwith to your place of origin or the nearest convenient parallel dimension!”

“What are you doing?!” a terrified Big Buddy whispered.

Buddy turned toward his human. “It’s from Ghostbusters. Calm down, I know what I’m doing.”

The bear yawned and let out a deep, rumbling moan.

The bear flinches as Buddy unleashes a terrifying roar!

“I can see I’m not dealing with the sharpest claw on the paw,” Buddy said. “Okay, bear, do you understand this?”

Buddy eased back on his haunches and raised two powerful forelimbs, his considerable meowscles rippling meowscularly beneath the luxurious sheen of his silver fur.

The bear watched warily, then flinched instinctively as the intimidating feline launched a sequence of aggressive and powerful paw strikes. The ursine beast recoiled from the thunderous impacts of paws against glass, reconsidering its position in the face of such a formidable display of force.

The massive creature turned in retreat, casting one last fearful glance at the Herculean felid before beating a hasty retreat.

Once he was satisfied the bear was gone, Buddy turned and sauntered back toward the couch, lifting himself onto it in a single graceful leap.

“And that,” the handsome silver feline said, “is how you deal with a bear.”

Point-Counterpoint: ‘I Am An Apex Predator!’ Vs ‘OMG, What Was That Noise?!? Go Check It Out, Human!’

Buddy the Cat asserts he is a powerful apex predator who fears no man or beast, while Buddy the Cat runs and hides the moment there’s an unfamiliar sound in his domicile.

I Am An Apex Predator!

Behold! I have the gait of a lion, the bite force of a tiger, the stealth of a jaguar, and the relentlessness of a leopard!

My meowscles ripple meowscularly as I stalk my prey by moonlight! One second all looks safe and calm, and the next I’m leaping from cover in a burst of feline power to ambush my unfortunate prey!

Lesser creatures have nightmares about me. Indigenous cultures celebrate my legend in oral traditions. Craftsmen carve bas reliefs illustrating my mastery over all beasts. Shamans invoke my speed and strength. My toys quake at the mere mention of my name!

I am Buddy, and I am a ferocious cat! RAWRRR!!!

‘OMG, What Was That Noise?!? Go Check It Out, Human!’

Holy crap, dude! What the heck was that?

I’m just gonna run and hide under the bed while you investigate that awful, terrifying noise! No, YOU check it out. Are you crazy? I’m not going anywhere near there! What if it’s, like, a serial killer or a chalupacabra?

Where’s it coming from? The kitchen? The bathroom? Oh God! I told you, there are monsters living in the toilet and they can emerge at any second to murder us in our naps! We should have nailed the toilet seat down years ago! You didn’t listen to me, so you’re gonna have to fend off the monsters while I lend you moral support from three rooms away.

What? Duuuude.

Was it really your smartphone alarm on vibrate? Whew! For a moment there, I thought we were in trouble.

Now I’m gonna need you to rub my head while I sit in your lap and you tell me what a good, brave boy I am. If it really had been monsters, they would have gotten their butts kicked by me. I was brave, wasn’t I?

If you slander me by claiming I freaked out and ran to hide under the bed, I will be forced to accuse you of peddling fake news!

Point-Counterpoint presents two essays taking opposing positions on a topic. Join us again next week, when Buddy the Cat will debate Buddy the Cat on another important topic.