Tag: pizza

Charles Barkley Disses Cats As Pets For ‘Old Women,’ But Don’t Cancel Him!

I can’t overstate how much I like Charles Barkley.

When I was a kid watching the NBA in the 90s, Sir Charles was a force to be reckoned with, a player who could put an entire team on his back and would have rampaged his way to multiple championships if a man named Michael Jordan didn’t play in the same era.

Chuck was physical, an outstanding and efficient scorer, a tenacious rebounder and a guy who played the game with passion. He was also beloved as the NBA’s resident “fat guy,” an admittedly pizza-loving athlete nicknamed The Round Mound of Rebound and The Incredible Bulk who always had to lose a few pounds when he showed up for training camp.

A young Charles Barkley (right) eating pizza before a game. No, seriously, that’s what he ate before NBA games!

In his post-NBA career, Barkley has delighted audiences for years with his brutally honest takes about basketball and many other topics. He’s blunt, honest to a point and often hilarious.

That’s why I still can’t dislike him even after he insisted cats are pets for “old women” during a playoff broadcast on Monday.

“A cat is not a real pet,” Barkley said on TNT when fellow host and former NBA player Kenny Smith mentioned he likes cats and has one at home.

“Why not?” Smith asked.

“Because it’s not a dog,” Barkley replied.

Later, when a fan jokingly tweeted an image of cats taking issue with Barkley’s declaration, The Prince of Pizza doubled down.

“I don’t dislike cats, I just don’t think they’re real pets,” he said. “A dog is a real pet.”

“What’s a cat?” Smith asked him.

“Just something old women have,” Barkley said, drawing the ire of cat lovers on the internet.

Before anyone rushes to fire off an angry tweet, it should be noted that Barkley is known for saying things to get a rise out of people, and Inside the NBA is legendary for its shit talk, with Shaquille O’Neal and Ernie Johnson rounding out the quartet of hosts who spend as much time laughing as they do analyzing the games. The guys on Inside the NBA are also notorious for poking fun at themselves and playing pranks on each other (I’ll never forget seeing all 300 pounds of Shaq falling on his ass after the other guys took the screws out of his chair, and the good-natured way he took it), so I know Sir Charles wasn’t trying to be mean. He was probably just taking a dig at Kenny.

So yeah, don’t cancel Charles. He’s entertaining, he’s a unique voice, and he just hasn’t had his heart stolen by a cat yet. Someone take him to the local SPCA and find a nice fluffy Maine Coon who will sway Chuck to the dark side!

‘Damn You, Humans!’ Pizza-Obsessed Cat Foiled By Microwave Lock

I’m pretty sure Buddy regrets teaching me all about animal cognition and emotion, which led me to adopting a vegetarian diet in 2015.

He’s never gone on the kitchen counters (such a good boy!) and when he does express interest in the fridge, it’s more of a rote status check, a defeatest confirmation that there’s nothing of interest for him in there aside from cheese.

But Bentley has no such scruples. The feisty feline from Oregon got his greasy little paws on a pizza one night and loved it so much that he’s become obsessed with the microwave, which is where he found that fateful slice.

Bentley’s human, Britney Shizo, said she put the leftover pizza in the microwave, then forgot about it until she returned to the kitchen and found Bentley happily feasting.

“The microwave is wide open and the pizza is on the floor and it’s gone, pretty much,” Shizo said.

Footage of Bentley, which has since gone viral, shows him determinedly trying to open the microwave door, gripping the handle with both front paws and using all the strength in his little body to get to that sweet, delicious pizza.

But, alas, he’s foiled by a child safety lock, which he refuses to accept as he strains, pulls and pushes the microwave in the hilarious footage:

Bodega Cat’s Back To Business After Abduction

A beloved bodega cat is back where he belongs a week after a thief snatched him from the store.

The cat, Boka, is actually a kitten. Majeed Albahri, owner of Green Olives Deli in Brooklyn, adopted the little guy in January and in seven months the all-gray feline has become a familiar face in the neighborhood, where people are used to seeing him sitting on Albahri’s shoulder as he works the register, or napping on the nearest convenient pile of newspapers.

Boka “brings life to the store,” Albahri said, noting people stop by just to give Boka a head scratch.

But on July 29 a guy “skulking around” outside the store took a liking to the neighborhood mascot and swooped him up. Albahri didn’t know what happened until he checked the store’s surveillance feeds and saw the thief in action.

Boka’s abduction mobilized an entire neighborhood, generated headlines in the New York papers, segments on local TV news and posts on neighborhood blogs. The thief must have felt the heat, because he contacted the deli through an intermediary and returned Boka to Albahri safe and sound.

On Aug. 5, exactly a week since Park Slope’s favorite feline was filched, Albahri posted online to share the good news.

“Best news I’ve heard all week,” one neighbor wrote, while another one posted: “Yes Boka! We missed you!”

Others urged Albahri to invest in some AirTags, the Apple-made locators that were designed for keys, phones and other easy-to-lose items, but have been repurposed by some as pet trackers.

For those unfamiliar with city life, particularly in New York, bodegas (Spanish for wine cellar or warehouse) are corner stores that stock grocery staples, snacks, and usually some sort of combination deli/salad bar. They also sell everything you’d find in a convenience store, from newspapers, magazines and gum to cigarettes and cigars.

Because there are very few grocery stores in New York, and because suburban-style grocery shopping isn’t an option for millions of people who don’t own cars, bodegas are essential in neighborhoods that would otherwise be “food deserts.” (Some sociologists consider such neighborhoods food deserts anyway, especially if the local stores don’t offer fresh produce, dairy and meat. Most bodegas do.)

Bodega cat
“Bodega cat trainee reporting for duty, sir!”

Bodega cats occupy a legally precarious but widely loved position in the fabric of New York. They’re pets, but they also have primal jobs that call back to the original reason humans and felines began their partnership thousands of years ago: rodent control.

Technically they’re illegal according to the city’s Department of Health, but the New York Times estimates there are more than 10,000 bodega cats across all five boroughs. In a city that produces viral videos of rats dragging full slices of pizza down subway stairs, and rodents run rampant at night, bodega owners are faced with two choices: Accept the rodents and pay a fine, or get a cat and pay a fine, but have their stores free of rodents.

With the fines for rodent infestations and cats both around $300, bodega proprietors say the choice is easy, and cats have become ubiquitous. New Yorkers have created petitions to get the Department of Health to relax the rules on bodega cats, with no luck so far.