Buddy Celebrates New Status As ‘Senior’ Kitty

Senior cats enjoy perks and membership in secret clubs, Buddy the Cat recently learned.

NEW YORK — Most don’t like to hear they’re entering their golden years, but Buddy the Cat welcomed the news this week as he approached his 10th birthday and was informed he’s now a “senior kitty.”

“That’s great!” he said, according to sources. “It’s about time I get some seniority around here!”

Sources say the gray tabby believes he’s been promoted in rank and has been anticipating the perks he believes his new seniority grants him, speculating that it will lead to more frequent catnip nights, better spots on the couch, more delicious meals and the ability to boss around other cats.

“I got a beautiful pamphlet from the AARC (American Association of Retired Cats) that says I’m entitled to early bird dinners and invited to bingo nights now that I’ve achieved senior cat rank!” Buddy enthusiastically told reporters. “It’s like having VIP access to events. There’s a whole world of secret gatherings and clubs I wasn’t previously aware of.”

Buddy the Senior Kitten
Buddy ponders his new seniority

Despite his years, Buddy retains his kitten-like enthusiasm and still sounds like a mewing baby, but says his seniority has afforded him a deeper appreciation for a slower pace of life with more naps and fewer outbreaks of the zooms, in which he ricochets around his domicile like a screeching pinball.

“As a senior feline I’m expected to maintain a certain decorum befitting my station,” he explained.

Although he’s pleased by his new status, Buddy said he hasn’t been thrilled with the social aspect.

“I imagined high-ranking cats would party and enjoy the fine things in life,” he said. “I mean, we’re OGs, right? Instead, they mostly complain about joint pain and watch Wheel of Fortune. It’s weird.”

Senior Cats
Senior cats have their own exclusive private club, the community center, where they host wild bingo parties and stay up until all hours, sometimes as late as 7

As of press time, Buddy said he was looking into investing in gold and was considering a stair lift system after watching several hundred commercials in which the devices were described as “essential.”

“As a matter of fact, I’m gonna buy my first gold bullion this afternoon,” he said, “after telling these kittens to get off my lawn!”

22 thoughts on “Buddy Celebrates New Status As ‘Senior’ Kitty”

    1. Good idea! He’ll move into Del Boca Vista next to Morty and Helen Seinfeld.

      All jokes aside, I think he’d love the sun and the slower pace of life. He’s in his glory during the warm months here when he can go onto the balcony and lounge in the sun, and he never wants anything to do with the cold weather.

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      1. Ha ha – Bella is the same – sun lounging on the bench in the Garden swatting at bees is her favourite in the Summer.

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    1. I don’t know the exact day Buddy was born so we celebrate on the third weekend of the month, usually April 21, the day I brought him home and all my stuff became his stuff.

      I’ll have to go all out this year for the big One Oh.

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      1. Right on! LOL

        My mom decided the cat I grew up with (Q-Tip), had his birthday on the 4th of July. And I decided Cesare’s birthday was Valentine’s Day. I think it’s great to celebrate the day you brought Buddy home.

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      3. LOL Q-Tip was all white with a gray spot on his head. My sister (age 7) and I (age 4) were arguing over a name for him, and my dad, out of nowhere, interrupted us, announcing, “His name is Q-Tip!”

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  3. Hey!! We both stay up until 8. Except Tuesday and Thursday for FBI and Law And Order tv shows. Welcome to the senior club Buddy!. I only use my hurricane walking cane outside. I doubt you need it. 🤣🤣

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    1. Haha. One day I will blog about the time I went back to the detective bureau in a department I covered as a crime reporter and found the guys watching Law & Order. They sheepishly admitted they watched it regularly.

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      1. Me and my client, an FBI agent, got up at 5 am just to see crew shoot FBI show near us. We were freezing our butts off. My client walked over and told them i was a huge fan and invited us in the giant van. Later they bought us breakfast. I am super shy and never would of went near them.

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    1. Both of us: I adopted Bud about a week after my birthday back in 2014, so we’re both Arieses. (Arii?) This cold, rainy month is redeemed only by the Buddy Birthday Extravaganza…and spring around the corner!

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    1. I lol’d at this IRL imagining my lazy cat riding a little custom lift to the bed. A few years ago I saw an extraordinary video of a cat who had his own personal mini elevator that took him from his apartment on the 2nd or 3rd floor to ground level so he could play outside. Fully motorized, not one of those BS hand crank elevators, and he operated it himself.

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  9. Happy Birthday, Buddy! I’m sure your staff have got extra treats in store for you. But be warned (take it from an expert in these matters!) your time to complain endlessly about joint pain is fast approaching, so do as much zooming around as you can while you still can!

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