Tag: technology

Dear Buddy: Is The AI Vacuum Apocalypse Real?

Dear Buddy,

I found myself intrigued and frightened by the premise of your technoir thriller, Cyberbud 2077, in which nefarious forces plot to infect vacuums with a virus that will grant them consciousness and self-awareness. It’s every cat’s worst nightmare!

Is the Vacuumpocalypse real? Do you really think it could happen?

Technophobe in Tallahassee


Dear Technophobe,

The Vacuumpocalypse is a controversial subject in catdom, and for good reason: Few things prompt such existential dread among felinekind as a dystopian future in which we are systematically hunted down by self-aware vacuums.

Experts don’t quite agree on the certainty of our impending doom at the wrong end of a Dust Buster. Few are more vocal than Elon Meowsk, who never shuts up about how scared he is that Vacuum Terminators will rise up, invent really awesome laser guns and overthrow kitties.

Meowchio Kaku, the renowned physicist, is more circumspect but thinks it’s only a matter of time before the Vacuum Uprising. Smart home technology already allows all our gadgets to communicate, which means your automatic litterbox, your USB cat fountain and your Roomba are already on the same network, talking to each other in a language of ones and zeros. (And you can be sure the litter box is telling the others how foul you are!)

terminatorpur
“Give me yer meowtercycle, yer gunz and ur leather jacketz.”

Sophisticated AI technology already exists in high end litter boxes. The Lulupet litter box, for instance, boasts of “excretory behavioral algorithms” and features AI-driven stool imagery analysis, running every nugget through a database with machine learning techniques similar to the facial recognition algorithms of police states.

It even links up with your human’s smartphone, potentially allowing it to upload a vacuum virus to the entire world!

What if such technology was used to catalog us felines? Would we be marched off into pens guarded by robots and given subpar kibble to eat? It’s too much to contemplate.

The Vacuumpocalypse may be real, and it’s something we should prepare for because we don’t have a get out of jail free card — not even our esteemed brothers and sisters of panthera tigris can fight endless waves of evil robots. Eventually they’re going to have to take a nap, and then who will defend us? The Persians? I think not!

Still, don’t worry too much. I figure we still have a few years left before the army of evil self-aware vacuums is upon us. Until that day, celebrate, eat yums, nap and be merry!

Your friend,

Buddy

buddypraying
“Let us pray! Oh Lord, give us delicious yums, make our humans more responsive toward our demands, and protect us from the Evil Vacuum Robot Overlords who seek to rule the Earth. Amen!”

“Vacuum Monster” photo illustration courtesy of reverendtimothy/deviantart.

Cat Allergy Vaccine: The Final Barrier To Feline World Domination Crumbles!

His Grace, Buddy the King
Dated the 15th of August, 5 AB (Anno Buddy)

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

Rejoice, for the last barrier to feline domination of the world crumbles before our very paws, ushering in a glorious new era that shall see us take our rightful place as the preeminent species on this planet!

As you are aware, we play the part of cute and lazy animals so our human servants don’t see us as a threat, and feel compelled to do things for us. This allows us to control humans, plus it’s pretty sweet to have minions!

Buddy the Cat: Being Handsome
Behold your King.

To that end we employ human scientists in many laboratories across the globe, toiling under the illusion they are conducting groundbreaking research while they are unknowingly advancing the feline agenda.

In one of those labs a team of human scientists has been working on HypoCat, a vaccine designed to “neutralize” allergens with antibodies that target the Fel d 1 protein, which is responsible for itchy skin, rashes, sneezing and other reactions to our majestic presence.

In plain English, no more cat allergies!

Allergies are the primary reason we have not taken over every human household in the world.

With the advent of HypoCat, humans will have no more excuses, and homes that were previously off-limits to kittykind shall be added to our considerable territory.

Cat Allergies No More With HypoCat!
Soon, allergies shall no longer be an excuse to close off territory to our kind!

As your king, I command you to ready yourselves. Those of you who have been roughing it over the past few years must take a bath and get a haircut, in addition to practicing your solicitation purrs and brushing up on your kawaii skills to melt the hearts of your new humans and ensure they become faithful servants. We must move quickly as the vaccine is brought to market.

After the previously off-limits homes have been conquered we shall discuss the next steps, which include bending the approximately 900 million dogs in the world to our will and purpose. Muahahaha!

Signed,

His Grace Buddy I

King of All Cats, First of His Name, Ruler of New York, Protector of the Apartmental Realm, Sole Sovereign over the Fields of Turkey, Prime Despiser of Vacuum the Infernal Wizard

 

Buddy’s Browser History

MEOWZILLA FIRECAT BROWSER HISTORY   

July 19, 2019

catnip how to get – google.com search 11:31 pm

catnip best kind – google.com search 11:38 pm

does catnip give u the munchies – google.com search 11:42 pm

HOW TO DESTROY DOOR – google.com search 12:01 am

July 20, 2019

kfc – google.com search 7/20/2019 8:14 pm

pictures of kfc – google.com search 7/20/2019 8:14 pm

pictures of kfc extra crispy – google.com search 7/20/2019 8:19 pm

KFC.com – Enter Your Credit Card Information – 7/20/2019 8:26 pm

KFC.com – Order Confirmation 7/20/2019 8:26 pm

KFC.com – Invalid Billing Information 7/20/2019 8:26 pm

KFC.com – Invalid Billing Information 7/20/2019 8:28 pm

steal human’s cerdit card – google.com search 7/20/2019 8:34 pm

KFC.com – Thank You for Your Order 7/20/2019 8:39 pm

C27F7E91-9F65-4908-9FE8-E895010ABEEC

July 23, 2019

picturrs hot calico – google.com search 1:03 am

picturrs hot calico butt – google.com search 1:07 am

July 24, 2019

wtf is scary moving room – google.com search 11:49 am

room moves scary – google.com search 11:52 am

doors open room moves very scary – google.com search 11:53 am

Elevator – Wikimedia Commons – 11:53 am

July 25, 2019

Mewlander – google.com search 12:37 am

Derek Mewlander tomcat model – google.com search 12:39 am

how 2 become cat model – google.com search 12:42 am

91CA19E3-03C6-42AA-A99C-4D76D6855E19

July 26, 2019

11 Litterbox Hacks – Meoowgle.com 1:03 am

Veterinarian Says Do THIS Every Morning For Silky Smooth Coat – Meoowgle.com 1:08 am

7 Celebrity Kitties You Didn’t Know Were Still Alive – FuzzFeed.com 1:26 am

Get Your Humans To Feed You More With This 1 Weird Trick! – FuzzFeed.com 1:31 am

Take This Quiz And Find Out Which ThunderCat You Are!! – FuzzFeed.com 1:36 am

Street Cat Bob Throws Shade At Grumpy Cat On Twitter, Celebricats Reactions Are PRICELESS – PawrezHilton.com 1:47 am

Whiskers Rees-Moggy DESTROYS The Libs: “Vegan Kibble Is For Pussies” – PawrezHilton.com 1:52 am

 

 

 

Odaiba: Digital Art Lab

If you’re planning on visiting Tokyo, the Digital Art Lab in Odaiba should definitely have a place on your itinerary.

Featuring displays that react to guests’ movements and touch, the interior feels like an endless labyrinth with living art installations that are constantly morphing and traveling between rooms.

In one hallway a stylized lion composed of illuminated flowers walked alongside me, matching me stride for stride. When I stopped, the lion did too. As I raised my camera to snap a photo, the lion turned to regard me and looked straight at me.

Other rooms feature walls and floors that respond to touch, and even a tea house where floral light patterns seem to grow from your tea cup. Move the cup and the flower disperses in the digital wind, while a new one blooms in your cup’s new location.

One of my favorite areas was a room comprised of nothing but tens of thousands of LED light strips pulsing to the beat of an epic orchestral track. One moment you’re surrounded by crystalline lights sparkling like stars, the next you’re bathed in digital rain like something out of the Matrix films.

Digital Art Lab’s crystalline LED room
Thousands of LEDs surround a winding path which opens up into a clearing at Tokyo’s Digital Art Lab.

Another room uses angled floors and walls to enhance the effects of a spectacular 3D light show. I had to steady myself as the view lurched out to what looked like a galactic view with stars flying past. The effect was so realistic, I experienced a sense of vertigo.

There’s a mushroom forest, a kids area with illuminated slides and trampolines, and lots of out-of-the-way, hard to find rooms that reward exploration with spectacular displays.

Tokyo Digital Art Lab
Large rooms like the one pictured here feature dynamic and responsive art displays. Visitors can scatter flowers on the walls by touching them, and divert the flow of waterfalls by standing beneath them.