Tag: Little Buddy

adoption, cat care, Feline Overlords, shelter cats, turkey

Get Your Buddy Down At The Shelter!

The following is a Very Important Message from Buddy the Cat:

Hi, readers!

I’m going to share a story with you, and it may shock you to your core, but I promise it’s true and it’s a good thing.

You see, as handsome, meowscular, singular, charming, delightful, smart, full of personality and meowscular as I am (did I already say that?), I’m what the British call a moggie. A feline of no particular breed. A “standard issue cat.”

“But Buddy,” you’re thinking. “That’s impossible! How could such an awesome cat as you be a ‘plain old’ moggie?”

Well, I am. That’s why I invented the Buddinese breed, to make myself seem more exotic. But the truth is, Big Buddy adopted me, and my effortless charm and huge personality are a combination of genetics and growing up in an environment where I was doted on, played with, socialized, exposed to lots of different people and places, and just as importantly, given delicious, quality yums to eat.

The reason I’m telling you all this is that you don’t need to spend $5,000 on a Bengal or $20,000 on a Savannah to have an awesome cat. You should be slapped and sterilized if you give that much money to a breeder, let alone when there are so many kitties who need homes.

What I’m trying to say is that, as Adopt A Cat Month comes to a close, your local shelter has its own Buddies waiting for you. Go meet them!

They might not seem like Buddies. They might be depressed that their owners surrendered them, shocked that they’re in a shelter, and muted from spending 90 percent of their time in tiny enclosures. But they are Buddies, I assure you, and if you give them a chance to flourish like Big Buddy did for me, they’ll reveal themselves as the awesome little buddies they are.

Buddy the Buddy
I’m unique and special, but so are the shelter cats!

They just need a home, a human or two who will care about them, and a little love. Oh, and toys. Lots of toys. And turkey. Some of them may prefer other types of food, and they’re wrong about that because turkey is the best, but if they like lesser foods like chicken, salmon or beef, well, give it to them!

Once your Buddies realize they are in their forever homes and they aren’t going back to the shelter, things will revert to the Natural Order™, your cat will come to expect excellent service, and you will be designated as an official servant to a member of felinekind, which is the highest honor a human could hope for.

So go on! Get your Buddy! He’s waiting for you, and you’ll make every bit of difference in his life.

Your friend,

Buddy

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Buddy, cat humor, Feline Weirdness

Buddy ‘Profoundly Hurt’ When Human Doesn’t Share Food

“Watcha eating, Big Bud? That looks delicious!

So, uh, you’re just gonna sit there eating that in front of me, huh? All that cheesy deliciousness. You know how much I love cheese.

That’s okay, don’t offer me any. I’m just going to sit down in front of you, fix you with my sad, wide-eyed stare, and watch you enjoy those yums.

Yums you won’t even share with your best Little Buddy.

Buddy wants yums!
“I’m going to watch you eat every bite, my eyes looking sadder with each passing second you don’t offer me any.”

What happened to ‘mi casa su casa,’ eh? Mi yummies su yummies. I thought we did everything together, but apparently I was mistaken.

Apparently there’s an end to your selflessness, a line of demarcation that separates the good from the truly delicious. And when it comes to the truly delicious, well, you horde it like Smaug the dragon sitting on his gold, indifferent to the feelings of your best Little Buddy, whose mouth is watering.

I mean, sure, I could pad over to my bowl and munch on some leftover kibble from four hours ago, trying not to think of how much it tastes like cardboard as the smell of that cheese wafts through the air.

I could…What’s this? You’re going into the kitchen? Just a few more feet, open the fridge…yes! Cheese is right there and…oh yeah! Get one of the sharp knives, you know I love my cheese sliced into little Buddy-size cubes. Yes! Careful with the knife. Just a little more. Perfect!

Oh man! You’re the best, Big Bud! I never doubted you for a second! Mmmmm! Let’s eat!

Mmmmm mmmm!

Wait. Hold on! Is it me or does the cheese on your plate look more yummy than the cheese on mine? I know you say it’s the same cheese, I just wanna…hey, lemme get my nose in there, I just wanna sniff it. Maybe take a little bite.

Tell ya what. Why don’t you give me some of the cheese from your plate just so I’m sure it’s the same cheese I’m eating?

Well, sure, you could shoo me away, but I’ll just sit here with my big, accusatory eyes, watching you consume every bite until some of that cheese migrates over to my plate…

Better yet, let’s swap plates. That’s the only way I can be sure that my cheese is just as good as your cheese.

Unless… Unless you knew I’d be suspicious of potential cheese inequity and you put the good cheese on my plate, knowing I would demand we switch.

I’m onto your scheme, human! Switch it back! I want my original cheese! Buddy cannot be fooled so easily.”

Buddy, cat humor, fake news, Hero Cats

Hero Cat Buddy Saves His Human: “I Just Did What Any Cat Would”

NEW YORK — Another day, another heroic cat.

Buddy the Cat was hailed for his heroism after a Thursday incident in which he saved his human … from burning his bagel.

Buddy’s human had placed the bagel inside the toaster at approximately 2:43 pm but neglected to turn the toast setting to medium.

“I was sitting on the kitchen floor, just thinking about klepping some delicious cream cheese when I detected the faintest whiff of burning bread,” Buddy said. “I knew immediately what was at stake, and I knew there was no time to lose.”

Buddy was able to get his human’s attention and led him to the kitchen, where the toaster situation was becoming more dire by the second.

“Unfortunately humans have dead noses, so Big Buddy didn’t realize how close we were to disaster,” the grey tabby said. “I had to act fast, so I bit him, then mewed at the toaster.”

Only one question remained: Would the human understand the obvious message Buddy was conveying to him, or would he remain entirely oblivious like most of his dim-witted kind?

Big Buddy’s bagel was headed for disaster when Little Buddy bravely intervened.

With time running out, Big Buddy finally realized what was happening and reached out to pop the toaster, saving the bagel.

If it hadn’t been for his quick-thinking and brave cat, Big Buddy’s bagel would have been ruined, rendered burnt and black by a toaster tragically set to its maximum toasting capacity.

“People are calling me a hero but honestly, I just did what any cat would do for their human,” Buddy said. “If that makes me a hero, well, then I guess I’m guilty as charged!”

Buddy, cat humor, Feline Overlords

Who Wants More Buddy?

Hello and welcome to our Spring 2020 reader survey! We here at Pain In The Bud (littlebuddythecat.com) appreciate our readers, all four million of them, and we’d like to know what kind of content YOU want to see on this illustrious blog.

So without further adieu, here are the reader survey questions:

1) How often would you like to see new photos of Buddy?

a) Daily
b) Twice a day
c) Every hour!

2) How much should Buddy charge for his pawtograph?

a) One bag of Temptations turkey flavor.
b) One bag of Blue Buffalo moist turkey treats.
c) A whole turkey.
d) Two (2) cans of delicious turkey pate.

3) Are you interested in stories about other cats?

a) Nope, I just want to read about Buddy!
b) Maybe, but not if that means fewer Buddy stories!
c) Yes. I love all cat stories, but Buddy is my favorite.

4) How would you describe Buddy if you were recommending his site to friends and other cat lovers?

a) He’s roguishly handsome.
b) He has big muscles.
c) He’s roguishly handsome, he has big muscles and he’s incredibly charming.

5) What’s your favorite thing about Buddy?

a) He’s a mastermind! He always comes up with brilliant schemes that never, ever backfire.
b) He’s astonishingly brave! Most cats are terrified of vacuums, kitchen blenders and garbage trucks, but Buddy isn’t like most cats.
c) He’s possessed of exceptional intuition. His powers of deduction, such as his investigation linking Coronavirus to Corona beer, are second to none.
d) He’s remarkably humble. He has the body of Cadonis, the strength of a tiger, the roar of a lion and the stealth of a jaguar melting into the jungle, but he never brags.

6) Have you told your friends and family about Buddy?

a) Does a bear poop in the woods?
b) I never stop talking about him! He’s so dreamy!
c) I have been derelict in my duty to inform others of how delightful he is. I apologize and will correct my error!

Thanks in advance for your answers! Your responses constitute valuable data that we’ll use to improve this blog, and have absolutely nothing to do with massaging Buddy’s ego. Cheers!

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big cats, Buddy, cat behavior, cat stories, Feline Overlords, Kittens, kitties, Tigers

Buddy’s Mailbag: What’s Your Adoption Story?

Dear Buddy,

How did your hooman adopt you? What happened?

Head bump,

Stasi in ‘Stralia

Buddy Buddy Buddy!
Dapper, debonair and delightful.

Dear Stasi,

At the dawn of time in 1 AB (Anno Buddy), a mommy cat gave birth to a litter of feisty felines. They were strapping young kitties, and when the time came for them to pair up with humans and move to their new homes, they went one-by-one.

All except one, the smallest and runtiest of the bunch. He was sick and he had a limp, but he was a happy little boy. Every day he waved goodbye to his brothers and sisters, and wondered if anyone would want him. He was small and his mew was only a squeak, but he already had a very big heart and lots of love to give.

Then it happened. A mysterious stranger enquired about the runt and almost two weeks later he arrived in person to take the little kitten home. The little kitten was scared. This human put music on in the car ride home, and his singing voice was terrible!

The kitten cried.

“Don’t worry,” the human said as he drove. “Me and you are going to be best buddies! You’ll see!”

After arriving at a strange new place, claiming every inch of it and pooping under the human’s bed for two weeks, the little kitten knew he had found his home. The human’s bed became his bed. The human became his pillow. Things were turning out okay.

The human fed the kitten healthy food. The kitten’s limp improved, his coat started to look healthy, and his poops were less nasty. The kitten also learned that the box with litter inside it was for the aforementioned pooping, not for making sand castles.

The kitten still had no name. One day the human’s mom observer her son with the kitten, and after her son called the cat “little buddy,” she said: “That’s a perfect name for him: Bud. You guys are the Buddies. Buddy number one and Buddy number two.”

They were henceforth known as Big Buddy and Little Buddy.

Buddy the Cat
Buddy the cat surveying his territory from an elevated position.

The big human and little cat became best friends. One day Big Buddy brought home a harness. Little Buddy didn’t like it. But after a lot of practice, Little Buddy learned to accept the harness and learned how to walk on it next to his Big Buddy.

It was during one of those walks that a human female saw Little Buddy and declared him the cutest kitten ever. Suddenly Little Buddy realized he was very handsome, and embarked on a career as a kitty model that continues to this day.

Soon Little Buddy began pumping iron, and began the transformation to the strong, regal kitty with huge muscles that you’re familiar with today.

And there you have it. Buddy’s origin story.

– Buddy the Brave

Compendium of Powerful and Handsome Cats
Many scientists believe Budus Felidus, left, is directly related to Panthera Onc, right, also known as the leopard. Others believe Budus Felidus is a sub-species of tiger.