Tag: turkey

Interview With Buddy The Cat: Who Are Your Favorite Humans?

They’re unconventional picks, to say the least.

Q: Hi, Buddy! Thanks for joining us!

Buddy: You’re very welcome.

Q: So the theme of this interview is humans, specifically humans you admire. Would we be correct in assuming your human is at the top of your list?

Buddy: You would not.

Q: Uh, okay. Why not?

Buddy: Because he’s a wimp! A pushover. Weak.

Q: Wow. Okay. So who are some humans you admire?

Buddy: Let’s see. Genghis Khan. Tony Soprano. Xerxes of Persia. Kim Jong Il was pretty cool even if his hair was not. The Tokugawa shoguns. King Joffrey’s a classic. Nero. Ivan the Terrible. Oh! Commodus from Gladiator, he’s another good one.

Q: Seriously?

Buddy: Yeah!

Buddy and the humans he admires.

Q: But why? They’re all tyrants!

Buddy: Exactly.

Q: You consider that a positive personality trait?

Buddy: I love a good tyrant. I’m an aspiring tyrant myself, you know. Some would say I’ve already achieved tyranthood, although my tyrannical activities have been small time so far. I say when it’s bed time, I demand snacks whenever I please, I’ve banned closed doors in my domicile, I collect protection treats from the other cats in the building, I’ve…

Q: That sounds a bit more than small time.

Buddy: Indeed, but I haven’t realized my plan to take over the world. World domination has always been my dream, even as a kitten.

Q: What would world domination under Emperor Buddy look like?

Buddy: Well first of all, we’d have to have the humans build a replica of the Coliseum. The cats need entertainment, and I need a place to feed my enemies to tigers. Plus we can make the humans fight each other for our amusement whilst I sit in my imperial box where beautiful women feed me candied figs and my servants fan me to keep me cool.

Q: Uh…

Buddy: And then we invade Turkey to plunder all their turkey. I’ve given a lot of thought to that, obviously. My personal guards will be an elite group of lions called the, uh, Lion Guard. They’d look all intimidating and stuff in their resplendant armor. Also, I would summon a group of the best engineers, experts in biomechanics, and luxury car designers to create vehicles for my people.

Buddy’s Lion Guards stand watch around his imperial personage.

Q: You want cars for cats?

Buddy: Exactly.

Q: But lots of people would object to sharing the road with you guys…

Buddy: They don’t have a choice, remember? I’m the emperor!

Q: Right. Well, this has been an, uh, enlightening inter…

Buddy: I say when the interview is over!

Q: Er, okay. Is there anything you wanted to add?

Buddy: During my reign, there will be mandatory nap times. Also, when I enter a room everyone must stand, not only because they should bow and say “My liege,” which sounds pretty cool, but also so I can pick the spot I want. If any human was sitting there, they will move, of course.

Q: Of course. If I may…

An Imperial Buddesian coin featuring a likeness of Imperator Buddy. This 10-can coin entitles the bearer to 10 cans of premium cat food.

Buddy: Yes?

Q: Where does your human fit into all of this?

Buddy: Which one? All the humans will be my loyal subjects when I’m emperor.

Q: You know. Your human. The one who adopted you and takes care of you, feeds you, cleans up after you, rubs your head and tells you how brave you’ve been when you get scared…

Buddy: Fake news! I don’t get scared.

Q: My apologies. Of course you don’t get scared, nothing could frighten you! So what happens to your human when you’re Emperor Buddy?

Buddy: That’s an excellent question, one I haven’t given much thought to yet. I could make him the High Warlord, grant him a dukedom, or put him in charge of the mint to oversee the handsome new coins featuring my likeness on them. But I have trouble sleeping unless I’m draped over him, and it would be a pain to train someone new to make things just the way I like them, so he can be Bates.

Q: Bates?

Bates, right, assists Lord Grantham changing into his dinner wear on Downton Abbey. Buddy envisions his human holding the position of Bates in his Buddesian Empire.

Buddy: Yeah. Like on Downton Abbey. My personal servant, separate from all the palace servants.

Q: Ah…

Buddy: I’d just feel more comfortable if he were always within three feet of me. That is non-negotiable. And with that, I now formally declare this interview concluded. If you’ll just step over there please, my Master of Great Works will take down your information so that, if the final published version of this interview is displeasing to me, we can send you to the mines along with everyone else I don’t like upon my ascension to the throne. Cheers!

Stray Returns Every Day To Hug Shopkeeper Who Feeds Her

Caring for cats is a communal effort in the Turkish city of 16 million people.

Normally we don’t do the “OMG how adorbz!” type of thing here at PITB, but this short clip should bring a smile to everyone who loves cats.

The shop you see in the video below is in Istanbul, the famously feline-tolerant city of Turkey (or Türkiye), where people collectively feed, house and care for the many stray cats who call it home.

Cats are allowed almost everywhere in Istanbul, including shops, offices, hotels and other businesses. There have been instances in which cats have gone to hospitals when they’re hurt or their kittens are sick, and medical staff actually treat them.

There are cat parks for play, communal cat shelters and tiny cat houses everywhere.

In the US, where some people will shoot any animal that ventures near their property, we would do well to follow the example set by our Turkish friends and do more to care for a species that has been by our side for thousands of years.

A mom cat brought her baby into a Turkish hospital, where staff treated the kitten.
A mom cat waits patiently for staff to treat her sick kitten.
Cats are allowed to roam most places in Istanbul.

Happy 12th Birthday, Little Buddy!

Let the catnip flow and the good times roll.

This weekend marks 12 years since I took home an energetic, bold, curious, talkative gray tabby kitten.

In some ways it feels like it can’t possibly be 12 years since I adopted the Budster, but it also feels like the little dude has been around forever. He’s such an outsize presence with a huge personality, and he never lets you forget he’s around.

As we celebrate the loudmouthed, opinionated, turkey-loving little guy, here are some of his adventures as chronicled here on PITB:

  • The time he was named Sexiest Cat Alive by CatPeople magazine.
  • The time he broke into the tiger enclosure at the Bronx Zoo to hang with his “homies” and was claimed as a cub by a tigress who gave him big, sloppy tongue baths.
  • The time he traveled to the Amazon to hang out with jaguars and was oddly accepted by them after he shared turkey and showed them how to make more comfortable beds.
  • The time Sir David Attenborough made a documentary about “the silver-furred Buddy” in “his native habitat, the living room.”
  • The time he was tricked by a Nigerian scammer, then got revenge by sending a lion to recover his money.
  • The time he issued his little red book filled with his wisdom, like this nugget: “Observe the human, and its wretched species, always in thrall to an invented concept called time. The time is what you say it is. I say it’s time for a snack.”

Bud must have been born some time in February of 2014, but since I don’t know the day, his adoptiversary is his de facto birthday.

We’ve got a long weekend ahead of us, including a party, a dance contest, a cocktail hour with Bud’s jaguar friends, and of course the grand fireworks display on Sunday night. There will be catnip and turkey for all.

Happy birthday, Bud!

The Easter Buddy Says Happy Hoppy!

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter to those who celebrate, and happy spring to those who don’t.

As is tradition, Buddy transforms into the Easter Buddy for 24 hours, complaining loudly and often about his rabbit ears and remarking that he never realized how much carrots taste like delicious turkey.

Buddy has been studiously preparing for Easter. Here he is at noon on Saturday:

At 2 pm:

At 4 pm:

At 5 pm:

At 6:30 pm:

All in preparation for his ears to sprout.

Happy Easter!

* The last photo may or may not actually depict a tribble or a hedgehog.

Leave Valentine’s Day Gifts For Buddy By The Front Door, Thanks!

Buddy the Cat’s female admirers, both feline and human, say he is a sexy beast.

NEW YORK — For the third night in a row, Buddy the Cat rolled onto his back, belched thunderously, and settled down for a restful nap surrounded by the devoured remnants of treats and snacks gifted to him for Valentine’s Day.

“It’s wonderful to be so loved that hundreds of Valentines Day packages are deliv…ooh, bacon-flavored crunchies!” Buddy said, breaking his train of thought after discovering six or seven of the little treats under a pile of opened and discarded packages.

“Where was I?” the bloated feline asked, blinking. “Oh yeah. It’s such a great feeling to have so many admirers that … mmmm, sandwich … every day brings new …* burp *! … gifts of food to sample and … oh, I love turkey gravy!”

The chubby tabby has been the recipient of countless Valentine’s Day gifts this year, reflecting his considerable popularity among females, both feline and human. He’s been eating his way through them with enthusiasm since the packages began arriving.

Witnesses report the well-fed feline was unable to complete a sentence without getting distracted and stopping to shovel food into his mouth mid-sentence.

“He only stops eating when he falls asleep,” one witness told PITB. “At this rate, his human will have to roll him around like a boulder because, frankly, I’m not sure anyone makes a cat carrier with material strong enough to lift him without ripping apart.”

As of press time, Buddy had fallen asleep with a sloppy hand-written note taped to his forehead, asking visitors to leave Valentine’s Day gifts in one of the 27 provided baskets.