animal welfare – Pain In The Bud

What’s With These Judgmental Pet Services?

The groomer has “a zero-tolerance policy for repeated matting,” as if people choose to have their cats age and struggle to groom difficult-to-reach places. If a cat has previously had a matting problem, the groomer can charge a “double” matting fee or refuse service.

Bud’s got a spot of matted fur again, so I’ve been looking at local groomers.

It’s in the same place it was last time, a few inches up from his tail in a spot he can’t seem to groom as well as he used to. Part of that’s because he’s pushing 13 years old, and I’m sure part of it’s because he’s slightly overweight.

There’s a cat-only groomer not far from me, which seemed like a good option until I read the details on the groomer’s site.

They don’t offer stand-alone mat removal and insist it can only happen after a “spa treatment,” as if it’s based on a finely tuned scientific approach and Bud’s gonna sit there calmly and enjoy being fussed over.

Fine. Whatever. They want to up-sell a service and I want to take care of my cat.

But wait! There’s an extra fee for cats above a certain weight. Bud’s comfortably below it, but there’s also an extra special fee for “difficult” cats, and he’ll definitely incur that one. If I don’t drop him off exactly on time or collect him immediately, there’s another unspecified “small fee.” Appointments must be canceled a week ahead of time or there’s another fee.

Then I read this:

“Matting is 100 percent preventable and [grooming business name] has a zero-tolerance policy for repeated matting.

Repeated matting will result in doubled-matting fees or denial of service.”

Seriously? Anyone who knows me will attest to the fact that I don’t just like my cat, I love him.

I’d do anything for him. The point is, I take care of the little dude. He is emphatically not neglected, and I’ve tried other things like regular brushing and the Furminator. He hates it, and I don’t blame him. It can’t be comfortable having metal teeth tugging at your hair, no matter how gently pressure is applied. Like all cats, he’s subject to the physical reality of aging, and he’s not a fan of being handled, so I do what I can within reason and within his tolerance.

That’s why I was able to keep the mat from returning for almost two years, and it’s why I am seeking the help of ostensible professionals. Of course he’s a pain in the Bud about being handled and clippers/shavers. I wouldn’t consult a professional if it were easy.

A gray cat sleeping comfortably on a plaid blanket. — Napping after a demanding day of eating and lounging.

I want to get his matted fur completely removed with minimal fuss, without judgment and without the possibility of half a dozen additional fees arbitrarily tacked on until I’m paying $350 to get rid of a mat.

Update: After he woke up from a nap and was extremely relaxed, I got in there calmly and quickly and cut the matted fur off myself, then trimmed until he started to get annoyed. I can always go back and get what’s left of it later when he’s chilled out again, and I’ll try some dry shampoo to hopefully get rid of any oils that may have built up and could cause matting again. I have no doubt this will be an ongoing problem since his tolerance for gentle brushing is about 20 seconds, but at least I took care of 95% of the problem relatively easily and, most importantly, he seems very happy not having the matted fur on his back.

The lesson here? Don’t prejudge your potential customers and write website copy as if you’re a custody court who’s going to reprimand me for allegedly being a bad caretaker before you meet me and understand what the situation is.

I get that groomers probably see some people who genuinely neglect their pets, but a key part of honest human communication is to avoid judging people and avoid allowing past experiences color your approach. It could cost you customers, as it did with this groomer.

Why Pet Talking Boards, Meow Translating Collars And Apps Don’t Work

Imagine using a version of Google translate that can only translate every seventh or eighth word without context or tone. Would it be useful at all?

When my cat wants to play he faces me directly, at my level if possible, and leans forward, whiskers relaxed, before screeching at me at loud volume.

When he wants food he doesn’t bother with being level with me. He assumes an aggressive posture, follows me around and tries to get in my path, all before screeching at me at loud volume.

When yums are impending, he also screeches at loud volume, but his face and body language take on an anticipatory posture, and his tail pops straight up.

When he’s not feeling well, he screeches at loud volume and assumes a hunched stance, whiskers pulled back, ears at different angles, often with his tail wrapped protectively around his little body in a sort of uncomfortable version of the classic loaf.

The common element is the loud screeching. An AI-powered app would have a very difficult time telling the difference between a “Feed me now, human!” screech and a “I want to play wand toy hunting games now, human!” screech, and probably wouldn’t fare much better with the “I don’t feel so good” screech. (MeowTalk did, after all, try to convince me that Buddy was serenading me with sweet nothings when he was demanding food.)

Years ago I was bullish about AI’s ability to translate meows. Given enough data, I reasoned, AI could crack the code. But that was a human way of thinking, anthropomorphizing my Bud into a furry little human whose “language” was limited to vocalizations.

It’s not.

No cat limits their communication to meows, trills and chirps, not even a vocal little dude like my Buddy.

Cat communication is multi-modal, consisting of general body language, whisker position, ear position, tail position and movement, pupil expression, fur rigidity, gait, scent-marking, scent-sharing, and for our exclusive benefit, meows. The latter are essentially a second language to them, adopted out of necessity because they realize we respond to vocalizations but are mostly oblivious to everything their tails, whiskers, fur, ears, tails, pheromones and eyes are telling us.

Now who’s supposed to be the intelligent species?

“Dude, why are you so dense? I’m shouting at you with my whiskers, my tail and my meows!”

The fact that feline communication is inherently multi-modal is the reason why talking boards and AI meow translation apps do not work. It’s like using a version of Google translate that only interprets every seventh or eighth word, stripped of all context and tone. Actually, it’s worse than that.

If you’ve spent any time on Facebook, TikTok or Youtube, chances are you’ve come across cat talking boards. They’re even more useless than the AI apps that claim to translate meows because they not only assume feline communication is a single-channel affair, they also place additional burdens on felines, like understanding human language syntax (something no animal has ever been able to do) and highly abstract concepts.

How does a cat know a question is a request for information?

How does a cat understand temporal concepts represented as abstract sounds with nothing that ties those sounds – and the buttons that correspond to them – to concepts like “yesterday,” “tomorrow” and “later”?

In one video I viewed, a woman convinced herself that her cat’s random slapping of talking board buttons meant he wanted to discuss an animal he’d possibly seen outside a window the night before. The number of assumptions and logical leaps required to arrive at that kind of conclusion is staggering.

I want to be clear that I’m not saying studying animal communication is a futile effort. On the contrary, everything we’ve learned indicates animals – especially our domesticated companion animals and the most cognitively gifted wild species – are not only conscious and cognitive, but have rich inner lives with their own thought processes, opinions, emotions, likes and dislikes.

But cracking those codes is a serious effort that will involve a concerted effort to negate our human bias as much as possible, attempts to see the world from an animal’s perspective, and multi-modal analysis that doesn’t just consider what we can see, hear and smell, but what our pals’ sensoriums can detect.

After all, we know that cats can hear in frequencies we cannot, that they possess a sense of smell as much as 20 times more sensitive than ours. There’s ongoing research into whether animals can detect magnetic fields, and differences in vision — such as perceiving different color tones and a drastically increased sensitivity to motion — mean a very intentional means of communicating by our cat may require the equivalent of a bullhorn for us to pick up on what they’re “saying.”

One day we may learn that they consider us the dim-witted ones who cannot see, hear or smell the obvious. We may get to that point, but not through half-hearted, unscientific efforts like labeled buttons and simple algorithms.

Newest Online Trend Has People Rage-Baiting Their Cats For Laughs

People are intentionally annoying/frustrating their cats and sharing the footage online.

It pays to make people angry.

Rage-baiting has existed as long as the internet has been a thing, but thanks to algorithmically-ruled social media, eliciting clicks through anger has become incentivized and normalized.

Monetized Facebook groups use rage-bait to drive engagement. Advertisers use it to break through the noise with carefully calibrated taunts: “Taylor Swift has an IQ of 165. Think you can beat her in this online test?” Unscrupulous online “news” platforms use it to keep readers in perpetual doomscrolling loops, which is easy to do in a politically charged environment.

But rage-baiting cats? Why would anyone do that?

Apparently some people think it’s funny, and the practice seems to have originated where all of our society’s most brilliant ideas are spawned: on TikTok, that virtual salon where towering intellects advance the causes of humanity.

Of course you can’t bait a cat with politics or culture wars, so the videos of feline rage-baiting compilations demonstrate trolling of a more physical nature: pulling tails, aggressively petting when it’s not wanted, poking cats in their tummies, picking them up and taking an agonizingly long time to place them back on the ground.

If it annoys a feline and provokes a reaction, it’s on the table.

We won’t link to cat rage-baiting videos, but suffice to say stuff like this does not benefit your relationship with your feline bud.

Rage-baiting is just another way to say they’re making their cats extremely frustrated to get a rise out of them.

When the cat reacts, that’s supposed to be the funny bit.

It’s not funny. Rage-baiting your cats, in honest terms, means doing things that make them deeply uncomfortable in their own homes where they’re supposed to feel safe. Arguably worse, the perpetrators are their humans, with whom they’re supposed to feel protected and loved.

As feline behavior consultant Julia Specht of Park Slope Paws told Upworthy, our furry friends are not in on the joke, they’re the butt of it.

“Cats can’t know what your intention is; they’re not capable of that tertiary-level thought,” Specht said. “All they know is that you’re doing something unpleasant that they don’t like.”

I’m not going for virtue signaling points when I say it’s a profound betrayal. I cannot fathom intentionally making my cat feel uncomfortable or frustrating him, let alone to do so motivated by potential attention from online strangers.

Your cat is supposed to be your pal. Your cat lives with you and loves you. Your cat is innocent. Why would anyone damage that relationship to bring a few seconds of misguided amusement to phone-addicted automatons who think messing with animals is funny?

No Matter What The Kardashians Say, Please Don’t Declaw Your Cat

A Kardashian admitted she had her cats declawed, but wouldn’t take responsibility. People who are thinking of adopting should know declawing is mutilation and makes cats miserable.

Khloe Kardashian says she regrets having her cats declawed, admitting on her podcast this week that the kitties are “miserable” since she had them mutilated.

But she stopped short of taking responsibility, electing to blame an unnamed party for allegedly telling her it was okay to have her cats’ toes amputated at the first knuckle.

“I was really misadvised about getting my cats declawed. I’ve never owned cats before. I didn’t even know that was a thing. I feel really, really terrible that I did go in this direction,” Kardashian said.

Look, I get it. Learning stuff is, like, hard. If only someone would invent a worldwide network, an “internet” if you will, where one might access the entire sum of human knowledge with but a few keystrokes!

In the absence of such a miraculous technology, how are we to know that chopping off a cat’s toes will cause them a lifetime of pain and discomfort?

Sarcasm aside, I’m not interested in going on at length about the Kardashians or litigating this decision online. Plenty of people are doing that. There’s really no point.

What I am concerned about is the unfortunate fact that the Kardashians have influence.

Because Kardashian isn’t taking responsibility, and she brought up her decision to declaw her cats in the context of her feelings and her regret, she is not effectively communicating why declawing is wrong, nor what it does to cats.

If you don’t know what it is, you should know declawing is mutilation. It is the amputation of your cat’s toes at the first knuckle.

It permanently changes a cat’s gait, leading to early onset arthritis. It makes simple tasks like walking and using the litter box painful.

It causes psychological problems because claws are a cat’s first and primary defense. Without them, cats feel vulnerable. That can manifest in several different ways, leading them to become fearful, or to become quick to bite because they have no other options.

Khloe Kardashian was previously caught “face tuning” her cats, meaning she applied filters to them to make them look different.

Declawing is cruel, barbaric and has no place in a civilized society. It is illegal in most of the world, and US states are finally joining civilization with laws banning the procedure. Kardashian lives in California, where it is banned, so presumably she had it done before the ban or despite it. If it’s the latter, the chances of her facing legal consequences are slim to none.

If you’re worried about protecting furniture, there are much better options, but you should also know cats have normal behaviors that don’t always align with the concept of a perfectly-kept house. Your cat will test boundaries, throw up when she’s had too much food too fast, knock things over, get into places you never thought he’d get into, cough up hairballs and more.

You will be surprised. Things will be broken.

But that’s part of the feline appeal: they’re curious, playful animals, and you have to earn their trust. Once you do, they’ll be your pals for life — and you don’t want to betray that trust by making life miserable for them.

Australian Celebrity Chef Salivates Over Prospect Of Feral Cat Meat Sandwich

Maggie Beer was reportedly intrigued by the idea of eating a “pussycat sandwich.”

Meet Maggie Beer, a “culinary icon” from Australia who was convinced to teach cooks at some sort of community kitchen on the promise that another chef would kill a feral cat to make her a “pussycat sandwich.”

Beer was invited to help instruct cooks who volunteer for a program feeding Australian seniors. In return, one of the cooks would show her how to prepare domestic cat meat.

Note that this was reported by a major Australian media outlet as a quirky culinary story, just a bit of fun to have a laugh over.

That goes a long way to explaining the state of mind in a country that recently killed millions of cats by poisoning them and has pledged to exterminate all free-roaming cats because self-styled conservationists believe felines — not habitat destruction, mass industrialization, the widespread use of carcinogenic pesticides, windmills, glass buildings and all the other changes wrought by human presence — are the primary drivers of local bird and small mammal extinction.

“We were talking a lot about cooking kangaroo tails and then I also told her about how one of our directors… had recently cooked us a feral cat from Kiwirrkurra,” said Sarah Brown, the CEO of Purple House, which prepares meals for Australian seniors.

“She got very excited about this and I said, ‘Well if you come to Alice Springs and do some cooking classes with us, then Bobby West will teach you how to cook a pussycat and you can have a pussycat sandwich for lunch.'”

Feeding seniors intelligent companion animals is about giving them “joy as well as sustenance,” Brown claims.

Thankfully not everyone in Australia thinks this is amusing, nor do they buy the claims that slaughtering cats will magically solve all the problems facing indigenous wildlife.