Tag: Madison Square Garden

Knicks Stage Greatest Comeback In NBA History, On The Cusp Of Becoming World Champions

A historic game and absolute madness at Madison Square Garden as the Knicks take another step toward winning it all.

Things were looking extremely grim last night.

Big KAT, Karl Anthony Towns, was pulled from the game after the refs charged him with two phantom fouls within 65 seconds of the tip-off. Suddenly one of the Knicks’ best players — and the top threat to Spurs star Victor Wembanyama — was sidelined.

The Spurs seized the momentum and charged ahead, splashing a barrage of three-pointers to put them up 27 points by halftime, a lead they extended to 29 in the third quarter.

No team in NBA Finals history had ever overcome such a deficit, and only one other team had done it in the playoffs.

The Knicks were cooked.

But the Spurs forgot they were playing the same Knicks team that erased a 22-point deficit with only 7 minutes to go against Cleveland last round of the playoffs. The same team that rampaged its way to the Finals, winning 13 games in a row against the league’s best teams and winning those games by a margin of almost 24 points each.

So the Knicks came roaring back, erasing the lead as Madison Square Garden shook with thunderous energy.

Jalen Brunson, aka The Maestro, aka The Brunson Burner, aka He Who Breaks Defenders’ Ankles With His Crossover, aka Captain Clutch.

Wembanyama, who has been making dirty plays all postseason — choking, shoving and elbowing other players while the league refused to discipline him — made a spectacle of himself in the first half.

With his team carrying an apparently insurmountable lead, Wemby strutted across the court and mocked the Knicks. He turned to Knicks center Mitchell Robinson, pointed and shouted “I’m in your head!”

As retired NFL player Tiki Barber later observed, Wemby “deserved to get punked.”

And punked he got. He was absolutely helpless in the second half as KAT returned to the game and the twin attack of Knicks guard Jalen Brunson and forward OG Anunoby sank threes, found open teammates with timely passes, drove the lane with authority, blocked shots, forced turnovers, and showed absolute disregard for history, pressure or the taunts of the Spurs.

Finally, with less than 10 seconds remaining and the Spurs up one, Brunson launched a three pointer which clanked off the rim, bounced high in the air … and was tipped into the basket by a skywalking Anunoby, whose perfectly timed leap and gentle touch on the ball won the game.

The winning play: OG Anunoby skies high for the game-winning tip-in. In Ogogua we trust!

The Spurs had possession and enough time to get one more shot off for the game-winner, but the Knicks made sure they didn’t get the opportunity when Big Kat deflected the inbounds pass and the buzzer sounded before the Spurs could get the shot off.

One game.

One game away from a world championship for the first time in 53 years!

Monica McNutt to Taylor Swift during the broadcast: “Go home, girl.” We love you, Monica!

Random notes:

  • We disown the Knicks “fans” who waited to greet the dejected Spurs in front of their hotel, throwing eggs and insults and doing childish things with laser pointers. You dumb mongos. If you can’t be graceful in victory, you’re not worthy of our team or city. Stay home. We don’t want you around.
  • Taylor Swift showed up to MSG and sat in courtside seats, which she was given for free, with a backup squad of less famous girlfriends to help her channel her Main Character energy. Swift showed up to a game last round to cheer on the Cleveland Cavaliers against the Knicks, she’s been photographed wearing the jerseys of Lakers, Miami Heat and other teams’ players, but suddenly she was Knicks Fan Number One, decked in orange and blue with a shirt that said “Stevie Knicks.” There are fans who have cheered the team years before I was born when they won their last few titles, and they couldn’t even get in the door when the worst nosebleed seats were going for $8,000 apiece, but Taylor Swift decided to become a Knicks fan at the last possible moment before they win it all, and every few plays were punctuated by the cameras capturing Taylor’s Reactions (Taylor’s Version), Taylor’s Celebratory Dances (Taylor’s Version), and Taylor’s Excitement Era as she savored the victory she’s waited five hours for. When some New York media figures, including the beloved Knicks radio commentator Monica McNutt, expressed annoyance, Taylor’s Minions predictably went after them with all their doxxing, harassing, misplaced fury. Go Taylor! You’ll have a spot on the parade float if you want it. Maybe you’ll even win series MVP, because surely the Knicks would not have made history without you there.
  • Having Taylor Swift take on Main Character duties was still better than having President Trump at game three. Not only were watch parties around the Garden canceled and a several-blocks-wide security perimeter established, but fans had to show up at least two hours early for “TSA-style” screening, no bags were allowed, and every business within a 5-block radius was deprived of normal foot traffic so Trump could sleep through the game next to Knicks owner James Dolan. The security and logistics nightmare alone is compelling enough reason for sitting presidents to stay away from events like this, and that applies to any president of any political stripe. It’s just not a good idea.
  • Longtime Knicks fans and New Yorkers on hand included Spike Lee, the Wu Tang Clan, Fat Joe, Tracy Morgan, Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld, John McEnroe, Mariska Hargitay, and Ben Stiller. Sydney Sweeney and Scooter Braun were bumped off celebrity row, presumably by Taylor Swift, and sat three rows back.
  • OG Anunoby is a hilariously earnest dude. When asked how he was feeling after the game, he said: “Yeah, I’m happy! Everyone’s happy!” I love that he has no social media presence, seeks no publicity, and reportedly likes to stay home and play video games. Now can we build a statue of him delivering the winning tip-in to greet fans at MSG?
  • LOL Victor Wembanyama, Mr. Ethical Basketball. If the Knicks close this series out, Wemby will have a long summer to consider the pros and cons of Ethical Taunting, Ethical Villainy, and the wisdom of launching three pointers when you’re 7’4″ and don’t even have to jump to touch the rim. If I were a Spurs fan, that last bit would really bother me. Live by the three, die by the three. They don’t keep on falling forever, as the Celtics can attest. When your shot goes cold, attack the basket!
  • These NBA Finals have reached viewership numbers not seen since the Michael Jordan era, when there were approximately 10,000 fewer channels, websites and other entertainment options to divide the attention of audiences. That’s impressive and good for the sport. However, we are well past the saturation point when it comes to the league milking every last second of airtime and flat surface for sponsorships. The fact that we have to pay a premium to watch games that already subject us to 120+ commercials is bad enough. Now the logos of gambling platforms and other corporate sponsors cover the courts and jerseys as well as the traditional arena signage, and everything from the starting lineup to the scoreboard and replays is “brought to you by” some corporate sponsor. Enough. The NBA is going to kill its product if it saddles its games with even more stoppages and mandatory ad breaks.

Note To Self: Acting Like A Lunatic While Watching Sports Isn’t Good For My Cat

Cats are highly attuned to our emotions, especially when we share a strong bond with our little buddies.

I realized I needed to calm down when Bud turned and gave me a wide-eyed, uncertain stare.

It was the fourth quarter of the NBA Finals’ second game, and the San Antonio Spurs were chipping away at the New York Knicks’ lead with ample help from the referees.

The Spurs collapsed in as the Knicks’ Karl Anthony Towns (KAT, or Big Kat as he’s fondly known) drove the lane, pummeling him and grabbing at his shooting hand while the refs just watched.

It had been happening all night. Spurs star Victor Wembanyama even grabbed a much smaller Knicks player by the neck and tossed him at one point without so much as a peep from the refs.

(Above: 7’4″ Spurs center Victor Wembanyama grabs 6-foot Knicks points guard Jose Alvarado by the neck and tosses him. The refs did nothing.)

I shouted something not nice as the refs ignored the bludgeoning and the Spurs barreled down the other end for another bucket.

Then I saw Bud’s alarmed face and his uncertain crouch.

“Aw, sh–,” I said, softening my tone and doing my best to sound reassuring. “Not you, Bud. I love you, little guy.”

I held out my fingers, Bud rubbed his cheek against them happily, and we returned to watching the game as I scratched his head.

Still, it was a much-needed reminder that our little pals look to us for emotional cues, and our bad moods have a profound impact on them.

Jalen Brunson is the Knicks’ captain and point guard. Josh Hart (header image) is the team’s “Hart and soul.” Credit: Wikimedia Commons

I will never forget what my brother observed one day when Buddy was still a kitten: “You’re his whole world.”

Bud likes to pretend otherwise, of course, but the point stands. He picks up on everything, and it is deeply unfair for me to allow any outside emotions to impact him. Making sure he’s happy means everything to me.

The comedian Bill Burr has a bit about this, putting it in more crude — but much more hilarious — terms:

Happily, despite the abominable officiating, the Knicks won the game. They have now won 13 games in a row in the playoffs (!), they haven’t lost a game in six weeks, and after defeating the Spurs twice on their home court, the Knicks return to New York two wins away from being NBA champions…for the first time in 53 years.

It’s not only a big deal to me and millions of New Yorkers, it’s something I’ve wanted so badly since I was a kid watching the Knicks reach the Finals in 1994 and 1999, falling agonizingly short both times.

The Knicks came within a game of winning it all in the 1994 NBA Finals when Patrick Ewing (pictured) was the team’s leader.

Wembanyama, San Antonio’s best player, is a towering 7’4″ and doesn’t even have to jump to dunk the basketball, while the Knicks’ best player is Jalen Brunson, who at six feet tall is diminutive by NBA standards.

Wembanyama was the number one pick in his draft, already hailed as the future of the sport before he set foot on the hardwood. Brunson was the 33rd pick in the second round in his draft class, an afterthought who wasn’t predicted to be anything more than a bench player at best.

OG Anunoby, who hails from the UK, is a lockdown defender and explosive scorer. Credit: Wikimedia Commons

When the Knicks signed Brunson four years ago, the entire sports world laughed. One ESPN “expert” insisted the idiot Knicks had pinned their hopes on a “role player,” while another compared Brunson to one of the team’s all time great busts. A third declared the Knicks would never win anything with Brunson leading the team.

And yet here we are on the cusp of history. The Knicks aren’t just two games from a championship, and they haven’t merely punched their ticket to the Finals. They have absolutely obliterated every team they’ve faced, sweeping the last two series and winning by a margin of almost 24 points per game.

But it ain’t over until they win it, so I’m heartened by what the Knicks’ KAT and Mikal Bridges both said after the last two games: they’re treating each game as if they have no lead, as if they must fight tooth and nail to save their season. They are not resting on their laurels, they’re not taking anything for granted, and they refuse to underestimate their opponents.

So let’s hope they win two more and finally bring a championship home, at which time Bud and I will partay!

Boxer Jake Paul Set For Dec. 31 Bout Against Buddy The Cat

In a match-up hailed by boxing promoter Don King as “a magnificatious spectacle of pugulisticary skillsmanship,” Jake Paul will square off against Buddy the Cat at Madison Square Garden on New Year’s Eve.

He’s defeated men more than twice his age, hammered opponents 70 pounds lighter than him into submission, and made his mark as a six-time winner of the Billy Blanks Tae Bo Championship.

Now Jake Paul, the Youtuber-turned-boxer, will step in the ring with Buddy the Cat, a gray tabby from New York.

Despite the 190 pound weight advantage and Paul’s 76-inch reach vs Buddy’s 4.5-inch reach, Paul’s manager, Nakisa Bidarian, said the 6 foot 1 Paul and the 11-inch Buddy were evenly matched.

“Buddy the Cat is probably Jake’s most vicious opponent yet,” Bidarian told reporters. “Jake is taking this fight seriously, as seriously as he took the fight with Nate [Robinson],” a 41-year-old, 5 foot 9 former NBA player who had no boxing experience before stepping in the ring with Paul.

An early poster promoting the fight, which has since been postponed to New Year’s Eve.

Asked by another reporter what Paul and his team make of critics blasting him for “making a mockery of the sport” by fighting a succession of cans, geriatric opponents and people without boxing training, Bidarian waved a hand in dismissal.

“Buddy’s a cat, isn’t he? Tigers are cats, too. We’ve all seen how dangerous tigers can be, so obviously Jake is taking a huge risk here by fighting an animal who is, in essence, a slightly smaller version of a tiger.”

Buddy the Cat

As for Buddy, the massive differences in height, weight, reach, species and training haven’t deterred him. The 11-pound southpaw feline promised to “tear into Paul like a bag of Temptations” and “chew him up and spit him out like diet kibble.”

“You see this wand toy?” Buddy told reporters, throwing punches at a colorful felt parrot that dangled from the end of a stick. “That’s what I’m gonna do to Jake’s face. And if it’s legal to attack his feet, I’m gonna do that too. I’m awesome at attacking feet.”

Longtime boxing promoter Don King called the bout “a magnificatious spectacle of pugulisticary skillsmanship.”

Paul vs Buddy is set for Dec. 31 at Madison Square Garden, only six weeks after Paul is scheduled to duke it out with retired super featherweight Geronta “Tank” Davis. Despite Davis giving up more than 70 pounds and eight inches in height, Bidarian insisted the bout will be “about as evenly matched as possible.”

While most traditional boxing fans and critics dismissed the Paul vs Buddy fight as another gimmick, legendary boxing promoter Don King hailed it as “a monumentilacious rejuvenalizationary occasion” for the sport.

“Jason Paul is a heraldific resplendinizer of pugilistic entertainmentized sportulations,” King gushed, “while Buddy is the most splendiferously sanguinarius felid fighter to ever set paw in the ring. I can’t think of a better match-up between two pugnaciously bellicoserized combatulants anywhere. This is gonna be epic!”

RIDICULOUS! History Repeats As The Knicks Lose In The Most Knicks Way Imaginable

Thirty years after the Knicks suffered one of the most humiliating losses in basketball history, it happened again…

The image of Reggie Miller running up and down the court at Madison Square Garden, both hands around his own neck, gleefully screeching “Chokers! Chokers!” is indelibly burned into my brain.

It was May 7, 1995. The Knicks were leading the Indiana Pacers by six points with 18.7 seconds to go. The game was essentially over.

Even though Miller was an excellent shooter, a three-pointer would still leave the Pacers short and the Knicks with a win in the Eastern Conference Finals.

What happened next is still hard to believe all these years later.

Miller hit a three pointer, stole the ball on the inbound pass, bolted back behind the three-point line and hit another three-pointer, tying the game. After two missed free throws and a missed shot by the Knicks, Miller was fouled, made two free throws, and the Pacers won the game.

Miller had just scored 8 points in 8.9 seconds, a feat widely considered impossible, to turn a six-point deficit into a two-point win.

This was the kind of thing that might happen in a video game, not real life.

As a young Knicks fan, I was devastated. Kids raged the next morning as we gathered before the first bell at school. Miller was public enemy number one.

That was 30 years ago, or 10,972 days if you prefer.

Tonight, with Miller calling the game from the broadcast booth, the Knicks and Pacers met once again for game one of the Eastern Conference Finals at Madison Square Garden, just like they did 30 years ago.

New York had a 14-point lead with about two and a half minutes to go. Victory was assured.

Then the Pacers came storming back with three pointer after three pointer, cutting the lead to two. With seconds left on the game clock, the Pacers’ Tyrese Haliburton launched a three pointer, which bounced off the rim high into the air…and came down clean through the hoop.

Just like Miller had three decades ago, Haliburton ran the court at MSG with his hands around his neck, yelling “Chokers!”

It was deja vu. It was a nightmare.

As “luck” would have it, Haliburton’s toe was on the three-point line, rendering his basket a two-pointer that sent the game to overtime.

The crowd tried to rally the Knicks and broke into chants of “F— you, Reggie!” as if to ward off a repeat of history. It didn’t matter. Indiana had all the momentum, and the stunned Knicks couldn’t hold on despite a combined 78 points from the Knicks’ Jalen Brunson and Karl-Anthony Towns.

Absolutely brutal. To rub salt in the wound, my cousins gleefully texted me with taunts like “Oh, the pain of it all!” A small text group consisting of me, my brother and one of our closest childhood friends turned somber. We couldn’t believe this was happening again.

Haliburton, top, and Miller, both mocked the Knicks after improbable wins 30 years apart.

I don’t usually blog about sports, but I feel like I have to release some of this pent up energy. I’d already showered treats upon Bud in celebration and had just given him catnip during a commercial break. We were playing a wand toy game. The mood was jubilant, then it wasn’t. I’m sure little man was confused, but he knows I wasn’t upset at him. Besides, I laughed at how absurd the whole situation was.

After the game, Charles Barkley, legend of the court and the booth, summed up his feelings after watching the ridiculous spectacle: “We get to watch this for our jobs. We’re the luckiest guys on Earth.”

He’s right, although as a lifelong Knicks fan, I don’t feel particularly lucky right now. Let’s hope Lady Luck finally smiles upon a franchise that hasn’t won a damn thing in 50 years and the Knicks turn tonight into nothing more than a bad memory en route to the NBA Finals.

The series, and the rivalry, resumes Friday night at 8 p.m. Whichever team wins the seven-game series will go on to the NBA Finals.

El Capitan, also known as Captain Clutch and The Maestro: Jalen Brunson had 43 points tonight, but it wasn’t enough.
Hart and Soul of the Knicks, Josh Hart, pulled down 13 rebounds and dished out 7 assists in game one of the Eastern Conference Finals.

Buddy Hatches Plan To Crash Boxing Match, Steal Boxes

As the masterminds behind the genius heist, Buddy and his associates stand to become extraordinarily wealthy in cardboard boxes, making them the envy of all felines.

NEW YORK — Crammed into a small, smokey room, the felines huddled around a table laden with cocktails, cigars and architectural schematics for a large arena.

Seated at the table was Salvatore “Carniclaws” Catzarelli, Tomasso “Tommy Two Times” Felinzano, Jimmy “Little Jim” Fitzpawtrick, Desmond “Sensimeowla” Neville, a group of junior associates and Buddy the Cat.

“This here boxing is a goldmine, fellas,” Buddy told the other gangster cats, pointing a paw at the original building plans for Madison Square Garden. “The humans, they don’t want to share their boxes, which is why they guarded the secret of boxing from us cats. They want us to be satisfied with one lousy box every week or two. But we’re onto ’em now, see?”

Boxes at MSG
Thousands of glorious boxes litter the central court at Madison Square Garden in New York. Now that cats are wise to the human sport of “boxing,” humans won’t be able to hoard all the boxes to themselves anymore.

Neville licked the edge of his rolling papers, carefully adding potent catnip as he meowed without looking up.

“Mi finna be down wit da heist, mon,” he said, wrapping the paper tight around a generous portion of ‘nip. “Long as di score gonna be split equitably, ya hear?”

“That’s right,” Catzarelli nodded, digging into the pockets of his trench coat for a lighter, which he passed to Neville. “Youse guys know, there’s five of us so we split it nice and even, 15 percent each!”

A smile barely crinkled the corners of Buddy’s mouth before it vanished.

“Of course, my friend,” he said. “You’ll all walk away with 15 percent of the proceeds. If I’m right and this ‘boxing match’ is the goldmine I think it is, we’ll be richer in boxes than we ever imagined! Boxes for every mood and sleeping position. Boxes for your friends and guests. Boxes inside boxes inside boxes!

The Great Box Heist
Felinzano and associates refine plans for the first boxing heist in the history of catdom.

One of the junior associates, a kitten named Crispy, raised a paw.

“Uh, sirs, with all due respect,” he said, “I don’t think boxing is what you think it is. There are two humans in a ring and…”

Buddy cut the kitten off with a wave of his paw.

“Crispy?”

“Yes sir?”

“Who’s the criminal mastermind in this room?”

The kitten looked unsure of himself. “You, uh…you are, sir.”

“That’s right. And who pulled off the legendary turkey heist of 2018?”

“You did, sir, it’s just…”

Buddy held up a paw.

“Unless you wanna be known as Extra Crispy from now on, I’d pipe down if I was youse,” Felinzano told the kitten.

As of press time, the feline criminal ring was putting the final touches on the genius heist, so close to being unimaginably wealthy in boxes that they could almost taste it.