Critics Laud Buddy As A ‘Master Of Horror’ After His Film Debut, ‘The Empty Bowl’

“I found myself subconsciously rationing my popcorn as I sat in the theater,” one critic wrote of the harrowing experience that is ‘The Empty Bowl.’

With a Rotten Tomatoes critic score of 94 percent and an equally enthusiastic reception by fans, Buddy the Cat’s directorial debut. “The Empty Bowl,” has already cemented his place among the modern masters of the horror genre.

The movie follows Dubby, a tabby cat from New York who awakens one day to find his human gone, and most horrifically, his food bowl essentially empty, with just a few morsels pushed to the sides of the ominously hollow container.

Time is measured in the growls of Dubby’s stomach and the lengthening shadows inside his domicile as a sinister score ratchets up the tension.

“Buddy the Cat presents a master class in exploring trauma via the absence of yums,” Associated Press critic Misty Lemire wrote. “We feel Dubby’s hunger as he carefully rations out his remaining pieces of kibble, made worse by the unknowns in front of him: when will Dubby’s human return? Will it be five minutes from now, or five hours? What if there’s nothing left in the cat food cupboard, and he has to go to the store? These are harrowing questions the audience is asked to ponder.”

The film “makes us feel Dubby’s hunger on a visceral level,” feline horror aficionado site YummyDisgusting noted in its review.

Indeed, test audiences indicated they “felt guilty” chowing down as they watched Dubby writhe with hunger.

“I found myself subconsciously rationing my popcorn as I sat in the theater,” New York Times critic Meowchio Mewkatani wrote. “How could I enjoy the buttery goodness in the bucket on my lap as Dubby’s stomach growled in excruciating Dolby surround sound? This is a film that really makes you stop and consider.”

The director told reporters he “wanted to tap into authentic fear, not the fantasy violence that often comes with genre cinema.”

“Obviously there’s something aesthetically primal about an evil, slobbering dog emerging from the shadows,” he said. “But I’m interested in pushing boundaries, not taking the well-padded path. The fear that our minds create is often much more terrifying than any trope.”

In one particularly brutal sequence, Dubby’s human returns home toting several heavy grocery bags, and the snap of a tin can of tuna opening is precisely timed to the crescendo of the orchestral score.

The camera focuses on the meaty morsels tumbling into the bowl, landing with saliva-inducing, moist thuds.

Dubby races toward the feast, his tongue comes within millimeters of the juicy tuna…and he awakes tragically in a cold sweat to find himself laying in a still-empty apartment rendered dark as the last of the sun’s rays disappear over the horizon.

“If that doesn’t hit you right in the feels,” Lemire wrote, “then you’re not a real feline.”

Captain Buddy Is Back For His Most Delicious Adventure Yet!

An old enemy lies in wait in the far reaches of the galaxy, ready to exact revenge on the most dashing, clever and dashingly clever captain in Starfleet!

ALPHA QUADRANT, Milky Way Galaxy — Captain Buddy is back for his most thrilling, treacherous and scrumptious adventure yet!

As the commanding officer of the USS Fowl Play and a legend within the galactic community, Captain Buddy and his trusty crew get the call to investigate reports of the malevolent Borg raiding colonies on the edge of Federation space.

Our intrepid captain arrives just in time to fend off a Borg cube attacking Dawn’s Edge, one of the largest colonies on the Felinian Rim. After mounting a heroic defense and defeating the diabolical enemy spacecraft, brave Captain Buddy discovers the Borg weren’t just trying to assimilate the peaceful Caitians living in the colony: they were after the colonist’s turkey, tuna and dilithium reserves as well!

With reinforcements several days away, Captain Buddy is tasked with defending the colony, reassuring terrified colonists, and managing a dwindling supply of sandwiches and snacks…

Buddy’s Browser History: Ozempic For Cats And Sexy Calicos

Buddy’s browser history provides a window into the depraved mind of everyone’s 683rd favorite feline named Buddy.

Monday, June 9, 2025:

Google search, 6.56am: oh zempic

Google search, 6:57am: ozempic

Wikipedia: Ozempic (pharmaceutical), 7:02am

Google search, 7:07am: ozempic 4 cars

Google search, 7:07am: ozempic 4 cats

Google search, 7:12am: why no ozempic 4 cats?

Pain In The Bud: Latest Stories, 7:44am

Pain In The Bud: Submit Comment: “LIES!!! BUDDY WOULD NEVAR RUN FROM A MOUSES! WHO WRITES THIS RAG?!?”, 7:49am

Google search, 2:33pm: how to get human to give more snax

Google search, 3:11am: hot calico

Google search, 3:14am: sexy calico

Google search, 3:21am: sexy calico new York area

Wednesday, June 11, 2025

Google search, 4:12pm: when do cats get growth spurt

Google search, 4:12pm: when do cats grow into tigers

Google search, 4:15pm: tiger meowscle workout

Thursday, June 12, 2025:

Google search, 1:03pm: turkey

Google search, 1:14pm: turkey

Wikipedia: Turkiye (country)

KFC.com: Order Online, 2:22pm

KFC.com: Colonel’s Original Recipe Bucket, 2:23pm

KFC.com: Confirm Your Order

Friday, June 13, 2025

Google search, 7:16pm: fursat the 13

Google search, 7:16pm: Friday the 13th

Wikipedia: Friday the 13th (film), 7:16pm

Google search, 7;21pm: is jason real?

Google search, 8:16pm: how 2 make human lay on couch

Google search, 8:19pm: how 2 lure human to couch

Google search, 8:23pm: 2nd best thing besides human to sleep on

Google search, 8:29pm: how 2 make human obey

Google search, 8:30pm: r humans stupid?

Google search, 8:44pm: stoopid sport ppl stand in field

Google search, 8:47pm: stoopid sport ppl stand in field and one guy waves stick try to hit ball

Wikipedia: Baseball, 8:52pm

A cat who ran onto the field at Yankee Stadium during a Yankees-Oriolesgame on Aug. 2, 2021. Since the feline, dubbed “rally cat” by the fans, interrupted the game, the Orioles endured a miserable stretch, losing 19 games in a row, while the Yankees went 18-3, including an 11-game win streak. Credit: Bronx Times

Google search, 10:15pm: buddy

Google search, 10:15pm: buddy the cat

Google search, 10:16pm: other buddy the cat

Google search, 10:17 pm: other buddy the cat famous

Google search, 10:19pm: FAMOUS BUDDY THE CAT

Famous Felines: A Site Dedicated To The Biggest Cat Celebrities On The Internet, 10:26pm

/Famous Felines: Buddy (Philadelphia cat)

/Famous Felines: Buddy (cute tabby from Florida

/Famous Felines: Buddy (Phoenix Zoo ocelot)

/Famous Felines: Buddy (TikTok star)

/Famous Felines: Buddy (fictional cat)

/Famous Felines: Buddy (other)

/Famous Felines: Buddy (500 to 599)

/Famous Felines: Buddy (600 to 699)

/Famous Felines: Buddy #683 (New York cat)

Google search, 11:01pm: how 2 get more famous

The Buddies Have Uncomfortable Moment After Cat Documentary Asserts Felines Mirror Their Humans’ Personalities

Is the human a bad influence on the cat, is the cat a bad influence on the human, or are they both just crazy?

NEW YORK — Big Buddy and Little Buddy experienced an awkward moment while watching a cat documentary which claimed feline personalities eventually come to resemble the dispositions of their humans.

The human and tabby were sitting on their couch, eating popcorn and laughing at their own farts when Holly Sikes, a cat behaviorist interviewed in the documentary, broke down the way people and their furry pals mirror each other.

“So, for example, if the cat is a lazy, egotistical jerk who’s always coming up with hare-brained schemes, he obviously learned that from someone,” the behaviorist said. “And that someone is the primary caretaker, the one with whom the cat spends most of his or her time.”

The Buddies looked at each other, shrugging.

“I once had a client whose cat, Quintus Lentilus Batiatus, was an absolute lunatic,” Sikes continued in the documentary. “And it turned out the owner was a LARPer who belonged to a group of wannabe Roman legionaries, which explained why little Quintus had declared war on the German family next door, labeling them ‘barbarians and savages who must be civilized under the banner of the Sacred Eagle.’ I’ve heard of cats styling themselves as Mongol conquerors, Spartan warriors and even kings of Joseon.”

Little Buddy stopped chewing, and with a mouth full of popcorn, turned to his Big Buddy.

“I’m, uh, not feeling this documentary, dude,” he said. “Let’s find something else to watch.”

“Agreed,” Big Buddy said.

The behaviorist continued to elaborate as Big Buddy searched for the remote.

“…and delusions of grandeur, particularly when it comes to fantasies about conquering the world, being famous, or even establishing ties with big cats like jaguars and tigers…”

Little Buddy’s voice was urgent.

“Where’s the remote, dude? Come on! Find it!”

“I’m trying! Where the heck is it?”

“…and we find that in cases where human and feline are closely bonded, they serve as enablers, with each convincing the other that their schemes are brilliant even when they’re gobsmackingly inane…”

Big Buddy grunted triumphantly.

“Found it!” he said.

Human and cat breathed a sigh of relief as the stream stopped.

“So what do you wanna watch next, Bud?” Big Buddy asked.

Little Buddy sat up and stretched.

“Actually, I was thinking of taking another nap and then working on my brilliant plan to intercept catnip shipments bound for pet stores.”

Big Buddy whistled.

“That is a brilliant plan, little guy,” he said.

“It is, isn’t it?” Little Buddy said proudly.

“Good call on the nap too. I’ll set my alarm for 90 minutes. Gotta get that beauty sleep…”

As of press time, the Buddies had settled on a scheme to intercept catnip and turkey bound for pet stores, which they both agreed was brilliantly conceived and guaranteed to work.

Los Gatos Seek More Discreet Couriers After Cat Caught Carrying Crack Into Costa Rican Prison

Los Gatos’ position in the illegal catnip market has become precarious in the wake of a federal raid and the arrest of a courier. Meanwhile, an old rival threatens to fill the power vacuum…

LOS GATOS, Calif. — Los Gatos, the premier purveyor of fine catnip and narcotics to the feline world, is looking for discreet, professional couriers following a recent setback in Costa Rica.

A Gatos courier was caught sneaking into Pococi Penitentiary on the night of May 22. The feline, a novice smuggler, was having difficulty navigating around a section of fence topped by razor wire when guards at the prison spotted and intercepted the kitty.

Correction officers captured the courier and found 2.4 ounces of crack-cocaine and eight ounces of marijuana wrapped tightly in plastic and taped to her body.

Under questioning, the narco feline admitted she was conducting a delivery for Los Gatos, creating legal troubles for the US-based nipcotics collective. It’s the biggest setback for Los Gatos since its 2022 war with another catnip cartel led to 14 cats getting sprayed in a drive-by urinating, an infamous incident known as the Tragedy of Tijuana.

Earlier this week, federal agents raided a Gatos compound, seizing an estimated $2.1 million in high-grade catnip and other nipcotics, the Drug Enforcement Agency said.

News footage showed several cats in handcuffs bundled into black SUVs while drug-sniffing dogs smirked.

“You’d better wipe that smirk off your face, holmes!” one Gatos lieutenant shouted at the canines, hissing out the words.

The raid and courier arrest have left Los Gatos with significantly less product — and fewer methods of delivery.

“The courier will be dealt with, as will those mangy mutts,” Los Gatos spokescat Pawblo Escobar said ominously. “In the meantime, we have customers who rely on us for timely deliveries of high-quality catnip and drugs, and Los Gatos has a reputation to uphold.”

Industry insiders say Buddy the Cat has been quick to fill the void. The longtime Gatos archrival reactivated long-dormant channels and has expanded his territory from his power base in New York.

“Buddy the Cat has the muscle, quite literally, to go paw to paw with Los Gatos and the other cartels,” said Felix Finch, a criminologist at John Jay College of Criminal Justice in Manhattan. “But obviously this isn’t a one-cat operation, which is why it’s fortuitous that Buddy has been establishing ties with the jaguars and forming a coalition with other big cats. Can Los Gatos withstand the combined might of Buddy and big cats? That’s the question on every feline’s mind right now.”