After finding out his human attended the Maryland Renaissance Faire over the weekend — where vendors sold giant turkey drumsticks, roasted turkey and fried turkey — Buddy the Cat threatened military action against his human.
The silver tabby cat was magnanimous and didn’t give his human the cold shoulder after the latter returned home after several days away, but flew into a rage when he saw photos of the Renaissance faire.
“What is this?” the angry cat said, confronting his human with photos of a stall offering plump turkey legs. “You knew they had all sorts of turkey and you didn’t bring me?!? Et tu, Big Buddy?”
Turkey stall at the Maryland Renaissance Festival in Annapolis, MD.
Sources say Buddy was last seen mumbling about “raising [his] legions” and stewing in anger over his human’s thoughtless actions.
“I was left here all alone for three days with only someone coming by to feed me pate while you attended a festival, drank meade and had a grand old time?” Buddy asked.
The feline’s anger intensified after his human pointed out his cat sitter used to happily play with him until he attacked her on two of the three previous occasions she cared for him.
“Fake news!” Buddy yelled. “Erroneous! You must make right this grave injustice, human, or face my wrath! And by correcting this grave injustice, I mean only turkey will salve my wounds.”
There was quite a bit of interest in our earlier story about Choupette, pet and muse to late fashion designer Karl Lagerfeld.
While Choupette was left a large slice of Lagerfeld’s reported $200 million fortune — usually pegged at about $13 million inheritance — as well as the services of a private jet, a chef and minders to see to her needs, she’s not the wealthiest feline on the planet.
Nala Cat: Estimated net worth $100 million
Nala Cat has 4.4 million followers on Instagram, her own line of cat food, and a website that sells Nala-themed shirts, phone cases, coffee mugs, plush toys, pillow covers and even COVID masks. With her gigantic social media following, which has earned her an official Guinness World Record, Nala has enormous earnings potential, taking home five- and six-figure sums for sponsored posts hawking products like topical cream for pets and milk alternatives.
Nala isn’t too happy about getting a bath.
Chances are you’ve seen Nala even if you don’t know her name.
Olivia Benson: Estimated net worth $97 million
Unlike her celebrity ex-boyfriends, Taylor Swift’s cats don’t provide her with sad breakup material for new songs, but they do give her plenty of material for social media and additional opportunities to make money. (Because let’s face it, she needs it: The singer has amassed a paltry half-billion dollars so far.)
Swift named her most famous cat Olivia Benson, which we’re told is the name of a character on Law & Order. (Apologies but once you watch The Wire, there is no going back to network TV cop dramas where the detectives are always righteous and neatly wrap up their cases in 42 minutes.) Since she was purchased by swift in 2014, Olivia Benson has gone on to star in commercials for Coke and Keds, make guest appearances on Ellen, and cameo in Swift’s music videos.
Buddy the Cat: Estimated net worth $3.67 (dollars, not millions)
While Choupette rides the skies in a private jet, Nala cat has more fans than most celebrities and Olivia Benson is feted by talk show hosts, Buddy the Cat is no slouch either: The silver tabby is chauffeured around in style in a Honda Civic, boasts an extensive food and treat cabinet that can keep him in turkey for like three weeks, and is the proud owner of a really cool cardboard box. (Not as awesome as Olivia Benson’s boxes, obviously, but still pretty cool.)
Most importantly, he has the love of his Big Buddy. (Awwww.) Asked what he’d do with a fortune if he suddenly became a hugely popular catfluencer, Bud said he’d buy a Roomba to ride.
Blackie the Cat: Estimated net worth $12.5 million
Blackie belonged to Ben Rea, a millionaire antiques dealer from the UK. According to press reports, Rea was estranged from his family when he died at age 82 in 1988, so he left millions to Blackie.
Rea had some self-awareness at least — reports say he left millions, representing the bulk of his fortune, to three animal charities of his choosing. He also left a house to a close friend and willed money to his housekeeper, gardener and plumber. (Dude really didn’t like his relatives, apparently.)
Unlike the others on this list, Blackie was certified as the wealthiest cat by the Guinness Book of World Records. It’s not clear when Blackie died or what became of the remainder of his fortune. Unless he had an outrageous catnip habit and blew millions on attractive Calico escorts, it’s safe to say he didn’t burn through all $12.5 million in his remaining time on Earth.
Tomasso the Cat: $13 million
In a true rags to riches story, Tomasso was a stray living on the streets of Rome when he was adopted by a lonely widow in her 90s. The woman, Maria Assunto, had no children of her own and treated Tomasso like a son.
When she died in 2011 at the age of 94, Assunto left Tomasso and all her money to a nurse named Stefania.
Stefania had befriended Assunto and Tomasso a few years earlier after meeting them in a public park. The nurse would bring her own cat over to Assunto’s home to play with Tomasso, and cared for Assunto as her health declined. As Assunto began to fade, she asked Stefania to care for Tomasso once she was gone.
Stefania had no idea Assunto was worth millions and was shocked when the late widow’s lawyers approached her.
“I promised her that I would look after the cat when she was no longer around. She wanted to be sure that Tommaso would be loved and cuddled. But I never imagined that she had this sort of wealth,” she said at the time. “She was very discreet and quiet. I knew very little of her private life. She only told me that she had suffered from loneliness a lot.”
Perhaps it was because Stefania had cared for Assunta and Tomasso out of the kindness of her heart that the latter chose her as her sole beneficiary.
“She had become very fond towards the nurse who assisted her,” Anna Orecchioni, Assunta’s attorney, told Italian newspaper Il Messaggero. “We’re convinced that Stefania is the right person to carry out the old lady’s wishes. She loves animals just like the woman she devoted herself to right up until the end.”
Acknowledging overwhelming demand — along with a letter-writing campaign and an online petition with 4.3 million signatures — CatPeople magazine named Buddy the Sexiest Cat Alive for 2022.
The cover of the new issue, which was already flying off stands in its first day on sale, features the “really, really ridiculously good looking” feline in close-up as he smolders in front of the camera. Fear not, ladies: The issue also includes a 12-page photo spread with plenty of photos of the furry beefcake showing off his considerable meowscles.
“I’ve reached a point in my life where I feel balance,” Buddy told the magazine. “My career as a model is going really well, I’ve become a bankable action star and I eat as much turkey as I want. Life is good.”
The one thing missing from Buddy’s life so far is love. But with millions of posters of the handsome feline adorning the walls of kitten and adult cat bedrooms alike all over the world, it only seems a matter of time before Buddy meets his match.
The silver tabby, who fields more than 600 letters and marriage proposals from female admirers each week, told CatPeople he’s still waiting for “that special lady” to come along — perhaps a Calico, a Tortoiseshell or a fellow tabby. He also counts tigresses and jaguaresses among his most vocal supporters and was recently seen holding paws with a glamorous and mysterious young Brazilian jaguarundi.
In the meantime audiences can’t get enough of Buddy, and he’ll return to cinemas later this month in The Turkening II: No Harm No Fowl opposite Penélope Mewz, while a long-awaited summer romcom will see him paired with Meowla Kunis.
Admirers can also catch Bud in commercials for his new line of cat food, a fashion collaboration with rapper P-Awz, and a range of products in Japan, where Buddy is a popular pitchman for Japanese favorites like Kameda Seika’s turkey-flavored barbecue potato chips, Lotte’s milk-chocolate covered salmon, Meiji’s beef-flavored dipping sticks, and Uniqlo’s urban feline line of street wear.
What’s next for the multi-talented moggie?
Buddy says he plans to pen an autobiography in the near future, and he’s working on his debut album, Napping in the Moonlight, on Tails Up Records. But on a recent afternoon he was just enjoying a low key lunch with his agent in Hollywood when a group of young admirers spotted him and asked for pawtographs, for which he happily obliged.
One of those admirers, a Siamese named Cleo, nearly fainted when Buddy handed his pawtographed photo back to her.
“My friends aren’t gonna believe this!” she said. “This is going up right now on my Meower profile!”
Read more in this week’s issue of CatPeople, available now.
NEW YORK — Buddy the Cat approached his dining nook, took an exploratory sniff of the wet food in his bowl and wrinkled his nose in disgust.
“Ugh! Marone!” the exasperated cat said. “This salmon smells terrible! What does it take to get a bowl of fresh gabagool around here, huh? Is it too much to ask for a nice chicken cutlet or some soppressat?”
The silver tabby has been arbitrarily dropping vowels from his words, peppering his meows with corruptions of southern Italian slang and complaining about his food more than usual after binge-watching the first two seasons of The Sopranos with his human, sources said.
“You’re bustin’ my balls over here,” Buddy meowed to his human, expressing sudden displeasure with cat food he’s been eating for years.
Witnesses reported odd changes in Buddy’s behavior over the holidays when he began watching episodes of HBO’s classic, but it wasn’t until he completed the second season that the mercurial cat built his own bocce court and began wearing a pinky ring on his front right paw.
A gold chain in place of a collar and a newsboy-style flat cap completed the look.
“Me and the boys, we like to hang out at Satriale’s and the Bada Bing in Jersey,” Buddy explained. “Though if you ask me, they got too many of them human broads at the Bing. It ain’t gonna kill ’em to mix it up a little with a Calico now and then.”
The previously non-Italian feline has been running in new circles as well, sources said, and has been frequently seen in the passenger seat of a Lincoln Town Car owned by Fat Vito Catterelli, as well as an I-ROC Z28 owned by Dino Felinzano.
His human, Big Buddy, said that things had “gone too far” when he arrived home one day to find Buddy with his feet up on the dinner table, a copy of the New York Post in his paws, and a radio playing WFAN’s Mike and the Mad Dog, who were arguing about Mike Piazza.
“Hey, Grande Compagno!” the cat said, eyeing his human over the newspaper. “How about a little melted mootsarell on top of my chicken tonight, eh? A little sauce. A chicken parm pâté, if you will.”
Told he wasn’t going to get “chicken parm pâté,” Buddy seemed unperturbed.
“Okay then, the galamad,” he said, nonchalantly flipping to the sports section.
“Do you even know what ‘galamad’ is, you little clown?” Big Buddy asked.
Buddy stopped flipping the pages of the Post, pausing with the newspaper as a shield over his eyes.
“It’s, uh, some kind of…pork. Yeah! Pork, obviously,” the flustered cat said. “From Arthur Ave.”
“It’s fried squid, dummy! You’re not gonna eat fried squid!”
Buddy shrugged and went back to flipping the pages.
“Then I guess,” he said, “you’ll have to make the chicken parm.”
This cat is, uh, catatonic after his loving human wrapped him up snug in a towel and put a hot compress on his little head to help him feel better after he caught a cold. Look at his tongue! He loves it! (Click the image if the video doesn’t auto play.)
A fellow Redditor was so taken with the video that she sketched a get-well card for the sick-but-happy furball:
The Midas Touch
Little Midas was born in a backyard in Ankara, Turkey, and her unusual appearance could have led to a hard life, but she was adopted by a loving family. The gray kitten, who is now four months old, has a genetic mutation that resulted in her developing four ear flaps. She’s also got a deformed jaw, likely due to the same mutation, but that hasn’t stopped her from living like a typical energetic and curious baby cat.
Coyotes are infamous predators of felines and small dogs, but cats can and do fight back, like this fearless kitty who didn’t appreciate the interloper straying into her territory. The coyote wanted no part of her.
We can’t embed the video, unfortunately, but you can click here to watch the 16-second clip in real time and slow motion.
Gray is the warmest color
We all know gray is an awesome coat color for cats, as demonstrated by the Budster. If you’ve got your heart set on a slate Chartreux, a golden-eyed Korat or a silver tabby a la Bud, this list covers 15 breeds “worth purring over.” Note that it doesn’t include the Buddinese Tiger, probably because it’s illegal to own such a muscular and handsome cat in most jurisdictions.
Feline humor, news and stories about the ongoing adventures of Buddy the Cat.