Buddy The Cat Threatens War With His Human Over Ren Faire Snub

After finding out his human attended the Maryland Renaissance Faire over the weekend — where vendors sold giant turkey drumsticks, roasted turkey and fried turkey — Buddy the Cat threatened military action against his human.

The silver tabby cat was magnanimous and didn’t give his human the cold shoulder after the latter returned home after several days away, but flew into a rage when he saw photos of the Renaissance faire.

“What is this?” the angry cat said, confronting his human with photos of a stall offering plump turkey legs. “You knew they had all sorts of turkey and you didn’t bring me?!? Et tu, Big Buddy?”

Sources say Buddy was last seen mumbling about “raising [his] legions” and stewing in anger over his human’s thoughtless actions.

“I was left here all alone for three days with only someone coming by to feed me pate while you attended a festival, drank meade and had a grand old time?” Buddy asked.

The feline’s anger intensified after his human pointed out his cat sitter used to happily play with him until he attacked her on two of the three previous occasions she cared for him.

“Fake news!” Buddy yelled. “Erroneous! You must make right this grave injustice, human, or face my wrath! And by correcting this grave injustice, I mean only turkey will salve my wounds.”

6 thoughts on “Buddy The Cat Threatens War With His Human Over Ren Faire Snub”

  1. Little Buddy is right: how dare you not bring him the desired turkey? A prime opportunity to spoil your cat wasted by thoughtlessness … no wonder he’s threatening military action. But not to worry, turkey legs (actually drumsticks) and thighs can be purchased for relatively little money, many vendors stock the tasty pieces. Roasting them is easy, too. Buddy will be thrilled to accept this peace offering!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I gotta get me one of those spiffy bubble window backpacks so I can take Bud with me to places like the Ren Faire. Regardless of turkey, I think he’d love tagging along while ensconsed in his own comfy, secure compartment from which he can safely observe his surroundings.

      Perhaps I’ll attach a sign that reads: “Pay him no mind, he thinks he’s invisible to humans whilst he’s inside the backpack” since he genuinely seems to believe he’s hidden when he’s inside a box, so why not a bag too?

      In the meantime, yes, I must make a peace offering to placate His Grace!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Buddy might be comforted by knowing that the turkey at these festivals common in many states has not been vetted for lack of food borne organisms! A cat of his magnitude simply cannot take the risk! Better for the human minion to be the turkey tester!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Buddy the Cat has every right to be furious with this utterly unjust behavior. I believe Buddy the Cat should be served turkey asap, even if his human cooks it himself.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. OMC Buddy!!!!!! This ISS a cat-tastophe fore sure!!!!
    Big Buddy you committed a terribell FOW Paw!
    Aunty Melinda brott us cooked Turkey neckss an gibletss an BellaSita shared with mee, not one, not twice butt 3 timess!!!
    BellaSita Mum sayss you have THE ‘murder mittenss’ look inn yore foto…..
    Big Buddy…find sum Turkey STAT! 😉
    Guud Luck Buddy……
    **nose rubss** BellaDharma an ((hugss)) BellaSita Mum

    Liked by 1 person

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