After finding out his human attended the Maryland Renaissance Faire over the weekend — where vendors sold giant turkey drumsticks, roasted turkey and fried turkey — Buddy the Cat threatened military action against his human.
The silver tabby cat was magnanimous and didn’t give his human the cold shoulder after the latter returned home after several days away, but flew into a rage when he saw photos of the Renaissance faire.
“What is this?” the angry cat said, confronting his human with photos of a stall offering plump turkey legs. “You knew they had all sorts of turkey and you didn’t bring me?!? Et tu, Big Buddy?”
Sources say Buddy was last seen mumbling about “raising [his] legions” and stewing in anger over his human’s thoughtless actions.
“I was left here all alone for three days with only someone coming by to feed me pate while you attended a festival, drank meade and had a grand old time?” Buddy asked.
The feline’s anger intensified after his human pointed out his cat sitter used to happily play with him until he attacked her on two of the three previous occasions she cared for him.
“Fake news!” Buddy yelled. “Erroneous! You must make right this grave injustice, human, or face my wrath! And by correcting this grave injustice, I mean only turkey will salve my wounds.”