Buddy Does Absolutely Nothing When Mouse Invades His Home

NEW YORK — Buddy the Cat didn’t even lift a paw when a mouse invaded his domicile on Tuesday.

The gray tabby cat, who often brags of his “huge meowscles” and martial prowess, did not stir from his nap and remained asleep for the duration of the encounter, witnesses said.

“He was completely, utterly useless,” his human, Big Buddy, said. “Aren’t cats supposed to be the bane of rodents? Don’t they have super sensitive hearing that can home in on the high frequency squeaks of mice?”

Buddy, who only stirred after the mouse was removed from the premises, stood up and yawned, then asked what all the commotion was about.

“Oh,” he said. “Well that mouse was really lucky I was napping, otherwise I’d do something totally badass.”

cat-scared

As of press time, human concern was centered on acquiring mouse traps at the store, but Buddy insisted that wouldn’t be necessary.

“I will roar and the mouses won’t come near here again,” he said, bellowing in his Elmo-like voice. “There. Problem solved.”

Update: In honor of Buddy’s glorious and momentous victory, we’ve created the following artwork:

apex_tigerandbud2

25 thoughts on “Buddy Does Absolutely Nothing When Mouse Invades His Home”

    1. Is your cat indoor-outdoor, or just has a good predatory drive? Bud’s been an indoor cat his whole life and he doesn’t quite grasp the concept of being a predator. You’d think instinct would take over, right?

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Interesting GIF. That isn’t Buddy? Mice will defend themselves, as will pocket gophers. I have watched feral cats stalk gophers by patiently waiting at their tunnel entrance. Cat pops straight up in the air, then lands on the gopher’s back. A cat that misses will get a gopher with sharp teeth lunging at his face. The Camas pocket gopher is one of the most vicious animals known for its size.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Camas_pocket_gopher

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Right, that’s a GIF of a random cat. There are quite a few of those floating around the meme sites and I imagine that’s how it would probably go with Bud if he came face to face with the intruder.

      I just read your Wiki link and googled the Camas pocket gopher to find an image that showed its size in context ’cause the image in the Wiki kind of looked like it could be big like a capybara. Not a big animal, but those teeth are no joke!

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Spunkmeyer adores playing with them but draws the line at outright murder! He does like his toys in the house unfortunately so we have to remove scared mice, scared baby bunnies, and the occasional bird! They come in and we promptly let them go back outside and those ones learn and never darken his kitty condo again!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Does he hurt them? Aside from protecting him, another reason I keep the Budster indoors is so he doesn’t hurt other animals. The chances of that may be minimal, but still…

      I’m sure Spunkmeyer is a much more fearsome cat than Bud is.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. He’s a Maine Coon who hunts but doesn’t kill. He just wants better toys! We need to really get him some BUSY TOYS! But where do you get them? And are they expensive? We can’t really aford.all.of the toys I would.like to get him but maybe down the road. I have cancer and when it is dormant it is ok but when it rears its UGLY HlEAD we have to spend more! Which toy will help us exercise use hi..ore and is it expensive? So.sorry but he was a.surprise.rescue.fro.a tree trees by coyotes and we did plan on another cat! We lost our 15 year old Petunia and now we have Spuneyer! He is a pure joy!

        Liked by 2 people

      2. I’m sorry to hear you’re sick. I’ve been meaning to do a post on DIY toys and other things that can entertain cats, since they seem to get just as much enjoyment out of things like boxes, plastic bottle rings and things like that.

        The only toys that have been worth it, for Bud at least, are his cat tunnel, one of those track toys that he can bat a ball around, and wand toys for interactive play. His favorite was a bumblebee on a wand, but he tore it to shreds, so now he’s got a different one. The ones with feathers like Da Bird are also good.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Bella brought in a dead magpie yesterday, and she was covered in blood on her chest and looked very very pleased with herself, considering a magpie could easily hurt her with its beak; this is amazing to me. I guess some cats are simply serial killers (like Bella) she is, however still very beautiful ( after I had cleaned her up…)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. The UK definitely has a different attitude when it comes to letting cats roam outside even in cities. Do conservationists and birders there give you guys a hard time like they do in the US and Australia?

      There were a few articles recently about cat curfews in Iceland and an outright ban on outdoor cats in some areas of Germany.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Although cats get blamed for urban bird destruction (depends on which study you read – but nothing compares to Human destruction), The UK does not have any cat restrictions (unlike other countries.) Bella has caught three birds in her life compared to over 30 mice and rats. Bertie has caught a total of zero of anything alive…

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Yeah not sure if you’ve seen the posts, but I’ve been very critical of those studies, which invariably lack real data and paint an inaccurate picture in which cats are driving bird extinction. As you pointed out, nothing compares to human impact on species extinction.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Milly for a cat who seems not to understand what live prey is (apart from geckos, that make her throw up, and bugs) she Really loves Da Bird, and promptly tries her best to destroy it! Along with any feathered wand toy. She also like her cat tunnel, but has gotten a little too big for it, which confuzzles her. Confuses and puzzles. She is like I *should* fit, why am I not?? And ends up doing a very funny run up and slide down technique, so she can just fit. Her most Faveorite of all toys is the lids to my asthma puffers. Just the right size and shape for a cat to bat around. Has a unusual shape so goes off at unusual angles which Milly adores!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hah. I remember Bud’s confusion when he could no longer fit in my shoes, which he loved to do as a kitten.

      Da Bird is great for interactive play, it’s not expensive, and if you buy a few replacement packs for the feathers, you’ve got a toy that will last a long time.

      Liked by 2 people

    2. Oh and I’m sorry to hear she likes swatting your asthma inhalers around. That can’t be good if you need them one day and they’re all under the couch or stashed away. Buddy loves swatting my glasses so much that I have to secure them out of his reach at night, so I feel your pain.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Not the inhalers, just the plastic lids on the ends. The inailers themselves she could not give two hoots about! Apart from the hooman using them when very annoyingly wheezing and Madam is trying to sleep next to me.

        Liked by 2 people

  5. You are seeming to forget your role here, big Buddy! Mouse containment is the role of the human servant! Little Buddy was just overseeing your work in a drowsy manner!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Bug patrol. Duh! Ever see any darstadly Dragons burning down your apartment? Any giant moths eating your cupboards? Then Buddy is doing hig job! A hard job it is too.

        Liked by 2 people

  6. Buddy may be saving his strength for a worthy opponent. Why bother with a little mousie when there are really dangerous beasts out there?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Right. Like that summer six or seven years ago when they razed a huge wooded area to build a new housing development and the poor, suddenly homeless and hungry coyotes were pushed into the local neighborhoods. I’m sure I can count on Bud to keep coyotes at bay. Even a whole pack of ’em.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I live in Westchester County, the suburb immediately to the north of NYC. It’s a mix of urbanized areas, mixed-use neighborhoods and super quiet suburbs. Walk in one direction and it’s all houses and back roads, walk in the other direction and it’s stores, busy roads and a train station. Just one more reason Bud is an indoor cat.

        When the aforementioned developers cleared a wide wooded area, the coyotes became human habituated, started scavenging in trash cans and even went after a few young kids. They’ll try for anything less than 35 pounds of so, which is their weight. A woman down the street was walking her dog one night that summer when a coyote swooped in, snatched the dog and bolted so fast that she couldn’t hold onto the leash. That’s seriously traumatic and I would never be able to forgive myself if that happened to Bud.

        Like

  7. WOW – coyotes in NYC! we get foxes in our garden ( bear in mind that foxes were in this area way before Humans came along, so I am perfectly ok with them) they are generally ok and wary of Humans – went to a talk on urban foxes in London, they are fascinating fellow earthlings:) and cats/foxes will generally avoid each other in our area.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Mew mew mew ….Buddy mee not sure what mee wuud due if a Mousie got inn our housie?!? Even tho’ mee lived on THE meen streetss fore 4 yeerss an had t o K*l…ack-quire mee own ‘food’ alot of THE time mee does not want to umm hurt anyone now.
    Wee are ee-volved Kittiess rite?? An our Hu’manss can an shuud take care of any rodentia problemss fore us!
    ~~~head rubss~~~BellaDharma~~~ an **purrplexed** BellaSita Mum

    Liked by 1 person

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