Category: Feline Ingenuity

“I Am The Very Model Of A Feline So Phenomenal!” Buddy Does Gilbert And Sullivan

Buddy the Cat’s talents are innumerable! In this rousing number he slips into the style of Gilbert and Sullivan and uses verse to tell us what a feline should be.

“I am the very model of a feline so crepuscular
My visage is so handsome and my meowscles are so muscular!
I am a little tiger though the fact may seem improbable
My knowledge is near boundless in all matters gastronomical
I eat six meals a day in circumstances nominal
For serving snacks when I demand, my human is responsible
No challenge is impossible, no problem yet insoluble
I am the very model of a feline so phenomenal!

I’m schooled in all biology from macro to subcellular
A meowster of olfactory for every object smellular
My hearing’s extrasensitive in low and higher frequencies
I hear the mice a-chatter but the elephants don’t speak to me
My style is more Big Punisher than Doctor Dre or Easy E
Cuz when it comes to hip hop my tastes all face to easterly
I like to shake my booty, I’m funky when I need to be
I am the very model of a cat who does it easily!

I rule with iron paws be it jungle or the living room
And when I’m finished dining, I am content to sit and groom
When it comes to games I am the ultimate competitor
Obligatory carnivore, I am a model predator
Yet somehow cute and fluffy when I feel the need to be
Mostly when I tell my buddy “Wake up, human, and feed me!

I am well-versed in big cats whether tiger or jaguarian
And qualities of catnip like a feline rastafarian
Intimidating surely, in my home I am the guardian
Look dashing in a tux or the kit of a safarian!
When it comes to ladies all the gents seek my analysis
I designed the Taj Mahal and Cleopatra’s palaces
I drink champagne from bottles and sip water from my chalices
Then ignite sky with a range of borealises!
A champion of Opens like the French, Aussie and Wimbledon
My game is too complex for the tastes of canine simpletons

A predator so optimal, impeded by no obstacle
When I’m roused to anger you will find me quite unstoppable
Stylish with a monacle, calm and rarely volatile
I am the very model of a feline so phenomenal!

I am the very model of a feline so phenomenal!

[Chorus of girls]

He is the very model of a feline so phenomenal! Find a better cat? Well that is just impossible! He is the very model of a feline so phenomenal!”

Happy Halloween: It’s Little Buddy’s Favorite Holiday!

Trick or treaters will get the scare of their lives when they knock on the door and are greeted by a hulking 11-lb Buddinese Tiger!

I already knew I’d adopted a bold little guy by the time Bud’s first Halloween rolled around, but his friendliness on that night gave me a new appreciation for how special he is.

Starting from that first Halloween in 2014, Buddy has eagerly participated each year as my assistant, rushing to the door at every knock.

He likes to sit on the threshold of the front door to greet the kids and check out all the interesting costumes. In turn there’s always a mom or a kid who makes a fuss over him, and he loves the attention.

Whether your cats are your little Halloween helpers or retreat to a bedroom and dive under a bed until the last knock at the door, Buddy and I wish you a happy Halloween.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to rearrange the candy bowl so the Reeses peanut butter cups are buried under Milky Ways and Hershey bars. For safety purposes, of course, not because I want to make sure some are left over for me when the trick or treaters fizzle out…

Felines Evaluate Human Looks, Temperament And Behavior At 8th Annual People Fancy Show

Cats judged their humans based on appearance, obedience and other categories at the Jacob Javitz Center in Manhattan.

NEW YORK — Marvin Wheeler was on all fours, with a pair of cats holding his mouth open with their paws and another wrapping a tape measure around his waist.

“The torso should be medium in proportion to the rest of the body,” a ginger tabby said, “while the snout –“

Wheeler yelped as the tabby gave his nose a firm slap with her paw.

“– should be slender and no more than half an inch above the top lip.”

Wheeler grunted as a Maine Coon shoved him off the table, and a trio of feline judges held up scorecards, awarding the engineer from New Jersey a 5.5, 6, and 5 out of 10 respectively.

“Does anyone have any objections?” asked the master of ceremonies, a rotund Norwegian forest cat named Milo.

Wheeler’s feline shook her head, and Milo leaned forward toward his mic. “Next!”

Feline judges award scores to one of the competitors at the 8th Annual People Fancy Show.

“Bring her up, fellas,” he continued, gesturing toward several cats escorting 53-year-old Martha Silverwind to the stage.

“Okay, next we have a librarian from Toronto, Canada, who is here for her first human show. We’re gonna be evaluating her on temperament, hair color, obedience training…”

More than 1,000 people were examined and judged by cats this weekend at the Jacob Javitz Center in New York for the 8th Annual Human Show sponsored by the Human Fancy League of America and the Society For Better Homes For Felines.

Helena Chione, an astronomer from Houston, Texas, waits for to be evaluated by judges on Saturday at the Jacob Javitz Center in New York, site of the 8th Annual Human Show. Her feline, Clyde, entered her in the Best Temperament category.

Ronald Greer, a dermatologist from Grewnwich, Conn., patiently waited for his turn while relaxing in his cage, which held a small bowl of cereal, a bottle of Poland Spring water and a chamber pot.

“I saw an ad for the show, and I thought, ‘Simba, why not see how Ronnie stacks up against other humans?'” Greer’s feline told a reporter. “I’ve been training him for more than two years now, and I’d say he responds maybe 80, 85 percent of the time I call him. Ideally I’d like to get it as close to 100 percent of the time as possible, because I don’t like to repeat myself when I’m hungry. But you know how it is with these humans. They have minds of their own.”

Simba sat outside Greer’s crate, encouraging the human to groom himself before the judges called his number.

Last year’s best in class in the age 20 to 29 bracket was Louisa Rey, a writer for Spyglass Magazine. Feline judges praised Rey’s responsiveness when commanded to serve snacks and commended her dark brown mane, describing it as “an ideal for a human of her age and gender” and complimenting her cat, Marcy, for “doing an outstanding job training her.”

Singer Taylor Swift took home honors in the 2024 People Fancy event for performing the best tricks, including one sequence, described as “adorable” by the judges, in which she giggled, cheered and smiled as she pretended to be fascinated by an American football game.

This year’s favorite in the best tricks category is Jonah Grayer, a 31-year-old attorney from Long Island, NY. Grayer, a magician by hobby, cocked his head to one side as his cat, Sebastian, rested a paw on his cage.

“Who’s a good boy,” Sebastian asked, dropping a cheeseburger slider into Grayer’s cage. “Who’s the best boy in the world? Jonah is! That’s right! Now let’s impress those judges!”

Zoo Visitors Shocked To See Tabby Cat Napping With Lions, Jaguars And Tigers

Zoologists were at a loss to explain how the tabby cat moved effortlessly among the big cats without becoming a light snack.

NEW YORK — Zoo visitors and keepers alike were flabbergasted at the sight of a small gray tabby cat lounging in several big cat enclosures on Monday.

Zoologists and a security team were called to the tiger exhibit at 11:45 am when guests reported the domestic cat had somehow entered the enclosure and had settled down between two adult Bengal tigers for a nap.

“It almost looked like the little cat was demonstrating his form for the tigers,” said Al Farelli, who brought his two girls to the zoo Monday and witnessed the strange event. “Both tigers copied the small cat’s posture and then they all dozed off.”

Buddy the Cat enjoying a late morning nap with tigers Zeus, left, and Achilles, right.

Zookeepers, initially fearing for the tiny cat’s safety, were conferring and were trying to coax the domestic feline toward a keeper entrance when the little cat lifted his head and hissed. Zeus, taking notice, followed the smaller cat’s lead and growled at the keepers.

“Never seen anything like it, and I’ve been working with predators for more than 20 years,” said Wendy Johnson, a senior zookeeper.

Zoo staff breathed a sigh of relief when the feline left the enclosure about an hour later, but were incredulous when they received guest reports that the cat had popped up again in Jaguar Jungle.

“We’re just standing there and admiring these majestic big cats when a gray kitty comes padding into the enclosure with his tail up, as if he didn’t have a care in the world,” said Melissa Matthews, a Manhattanite who was at the park with friends.

“Then when the jaguars saw him I gasped because I thought he was about to become an hors d’oeuvre for one of them,” she said, shuddering. “But they chuffed happily, exchanged paw bumps with the little guy and groomed him.”

Once again, the tabby cat settled down for a nap, laying on top of a jaguar named Ixchel.

Buddy finally made his way to the lion exhibit by late afternoon, settling down to nap with a lion named Colossus.

Meanwhile a New York man arrived at the zoo, explaining he’d seen clips of the bizarre scene on social media and recognized the feline as his cat, Buddy.

“He’s always doing this!” the man told zoo staff. “There was the time leopards almost ate him on the Masi Mara, the incident in the Amazon when he took ayahuasca with jaguar shamans, and the debacle when he tried to make himself king of the rusty spotted cats.”

As of late Monday the man was seen arguing with the silver tabby and trying to bribe him out of the enclosure with an impressive snack spread.

Which Colognes Drive Cats Crazy? Buddy The Cat Investigates!

After learning that wildcats — including jaguars, tigers and ocelots — love Calvin Klein’s Obsession for Men, Buddy the Cat explores the world of colognes to find one that drives domestic kitties crazy.

Earlier we wrote about the accidental discovery that ocelots respond enthusiastically to Calvin Klein’s Obsession for Men. Subsequent experiments proved jaguars and tigers are particularly fond of the scent as well.

Then a reader’s comment posed a question so obvious, we’re ashamed we didn’t think of it ourselves: do domestic kitties like colognes?

To find out, we asked Buddy the Cat, aka Little Buddy, to evaluate several fragrances. He’s taken the assignment seriously and provided thoughtful analysis, giving us just a hint of what it’s like to have an incredibly keen feline sense of smell.

Dolce and Gabbana Pour Homme

“The first ecstatic whiff takes me back to kittenhood. Days napping in the sun and chasing flies. Fresh cut grass and fragrant foliage. I was so deep into my reverie that the base notes nearly bowled me over when they arrived suddenly in their regal glories, like a king’s entourage without a herald. Rich cedar and musk evoke hours spent luxuriating in the potent funk of my human’s sneakers. Quiet woods and spices, like a litter box a day after feasting on rabbit, gently whisper of naps. Buddy likes this one!”

Cool Water by Davidoff

“Its initial briny hints conjure impressions of a dock at low tide, fish baking in the sun while a graybeard captain lights his pipe. Through confident middle notes, its warm embrace gently tugs you inward, like an antiquarian beckoning you inside a rare book shop with a rodent infestation. Aged leather book bindings and dark oak react provocatively with the paw-licking intensity of decadent mouse urine. Meowgnificent!”

Jaguar by Jaguar

“A carnival of candy for the nose, like accompanying your human to the bathroom post-Chipotle! The first hints arrive furtively, like a disguised aristocrat casting nervous glances as he makes a beeline for a brothel. Then it asserts itself in force: an army of jaguars advancing in the moonlight, their meowscles rippling in the silver mist, scent-marking in unison! Musk, civetone, ammonia. Pheromonic bliss!”

Drakkar Noir by Guy Laroche

“Powerful but restrained, like a certain silver tabby in his carrier, a single spritz of this magnificent scent conjures memories of halcyon days as a young feline. Mid notes whisper of woods and spices, a grove of wild catnip undulating in a summer breeze. Underneath it all is an unshakable foundation of warmth, like being swaddled in my human’s t-shirt after it’s been worn on a humid 97 degree day.”

Tyrannosaurus Rex by Zoologist

“Bergamot and verdant iridescence arrive as our olfactory escorts, ushering us in to a delectably frisky gourmand accord. It’s as if we’re drifting on chocolate seas with vanilla currents playfully nudging us to shore where beefy undertones await. Umami! Steaks sizzle, beckoning our noses toward the grill, stomachs rumbling. A most delicious scent!”

So there you have it. T Rex emerges as the winner in this round, but can it compare to mainstays by Yves Saint Laurent and Giorgio Armani? Only Buddy can tell us. Tune in next time as we accompany the Budster on an aromatic journey!