Category: crime

Lebowski Cat Named ‘Dude’ Makes Bowling Alley Home, Plus: A Nightmare Vet Visit

A bowling burglar turned out to be a cute tuxedo cat looking for a warm, safe home.

Yianni Mavrakis already has a full plate as the owner-operator of two bowling alleys, so when the alarm at one of the locations kept going off in the middle of the night, he wasn’t a happy camper.

Each tripped alarm resulted in a response by police, and Mavrakis had to physically check the premises for signs of intruders in the Chicago-area business.

Eventually he found the culprit — a stray tuxedo cat he named “Dude,” after the beloved, bowling-obsessed protagonist played by Jeff Bridges in the 1998 crime comedy The Big Lebowski.

Credit: Yianni Mavrakis

After it became clear a huge space with lots of moving machine parts and noisy crowds was no place for a feline, Mavrakis took the little guy home, where he now has a much quieter, more calm territory to call his own.

Like his film counterpart, the Dude abides. Someone get that cat some bowling shoes and a White Russian!

A viral nightmare vet visit

A woman named India, who goes by the TikTok screen name “the_unhinged_queen” says her cat returned terrified and soiling herself after one of those “we have to bring your cat to the back” moments during a trip to the veterinarian’s office.

India related the story on TikTok and says the vet’s staff acted like all was normal despite the distress the kitty was in, except for calling her cat “difficult.”

“She was covered in urine, soaking wet. They plopped her in my lap, and she’s crying,” India said in a video she recorded about the ordeal.

Back at home, the distressed British Shorthair was dragging her back leg and was in pain. India says the veterinarian called later to apologize and conceded maybe the techs had pulled her cat’s leg “farther than what, maybe, was comfortable for her.”

An examination by a second veterinarian, India said, concluded the vet techs had pulled the cat’s leg out of its socket.

This is a one-source story based on a TikTok short, published by an online site that is often credulous, so caution is warranted. Grain of salt and all that.

Still, it reminded me of my own anxiety when two vet techs couldn’t handle Bud during a visit and did the whole “we’ve gotta bring him to the back” bit.

Unlike India, who insisted her cat is sweet and gentle, I gave ample warning to the vet techs.

“Don’t worry, we deal with cats like that all the time,” one of them said.

“I don’t think you do,” I told her, urging them both to be careful.

When he mauled one of them and the tech acted surprised, I gave her an apologetic shrug. I did try to warn her.

Then they announced they needed to bring him “to the back,” which was an examination room where, I presumed, they had equipment to constrain “difficult” cats.

I sat there wincing as I heard the carnage despite the closed door. In true Buddinese fashion, it sounded like an enraged Elmo murdering half the residents of Sesame Street. I imagined dismembered Muppets and humans retreating with deep scratches on their arms as I heard Bud’s kittenish howls of indignation.

When they brought Bud back to me in his carrier he had a look that said “Chumps think they can poke me with needles? Hah!”

But the thing is, it’s a matter of trust because you really don’t know what they’re doing back there. You’re at a veterinary practice, which means you’re dealing with people who chose to work with animals. That should mean they wouldn’t harm anyone’s beloved pet, but sometimes that’s not true.

It’s a good reminder for us to check that our feline overlords are okay after vet visits, even if we’re sure the vet staff is trustworthy. If a cat is in obvious distress it means the pain must be unbearable, but it’s precisely because cats are great at hiding their pain that we should be on the lookout for signs of something wrong.

‘I Just Beat Your Cat Again. She Can’t Walk. We’re Done.’

This Caturday we look at how pets fare in domestic violence situations, plus a study about obesity in meat-eating and “vegan cats.”

The headline is a quote from a text a man allegedly sent to his girlfriend after abusing her cat so badly that the poor kitty had to be euthanized.

The story is grotesque, tragic, and sadly not uncommon. Between 75 and 89 percent of domestic violence victims who have pets report that their partners threatened, abused or killed their companion animals, according to research from the ASPCA and SafeHouse, a non-profit that provides direct support to victims of domestic violence.

In the incident referenced above, an Indianapolis man was arrested and charged with killing a domestic animal and torturing or mutilating an animal, both felonies. The suspect, Rashawn Bentley, originally tried to stage the violence as the result of a break-in, but was undone by his own menacing texts to his girlfriend as well as photos of the injured cat, according to the local NBC affiliate, WTHR.

Just so it’s abundantly clear how we feel about this issue: if you abuse, harm or kill a cat, you’re not a man. You’re a weak, despicable, cowardly facsimile of a man whose “flex” is taking your frustrations out on an innocent animal one twentieth your size.

You should be arrested, charged with the most severe penalties under the law – even if they’re not commensurate with the horror of the crime you’ve committed – and imprisoned for years. The other inmates should know you killed a cat. You should be removed from society, because if you think taking life is an acceptable way to vent your frustrations, there’s something clearly wrong with your brain and you are a danger to animal and human alike.

Close-up of a curious orange kitten with large, expressive eyes resting on a bed.
Credit: Mayara Caroline Mombelli/Pexels

Of course the majority of these attacks, especially targeting cats, are committed by men, but women aren’t off the hook here either. Some women do try to harm significant others by killing or abusing their cats, in straight relationships and relationships between women.

Ignore that study on supposedly healthy ‘vegan cats’

Headlines about a new study in Frontiers In Animal Science are trumpeting the supposed benefits of vegan diets for cats, who are obligate carnivores.

The media stories style the effort as a large-scale study involving more than 1,300 participants.

In reality it was an online survey that recruited cat caretakers from Facebook and recorded their subjective opinions about the health of their cats.

Everything, including reported weight, mobility, questions about potential physical problems, times fed per day, sex and neuter status, et al, was filtered through the self-selected respondents, not pulled from veterinary records. The respondents weren’t given reference illustrations or standardized criteria from which to base their subjective assessment of their cats’ weight.

There’s no way to determine if the people who participated were being honest, keeping records, guesstimating or just having a bit of fun.

To be clear, most of our criticism here is directed at the way online publications reported the results, not necessarily the authors of the survey, who chose a much more dry, cautious headline: “Impacts of a vegan diet on body weight and related health disorders in 1,305 cats: an exploratory cross-sectional survey.”

Obviously, even a jazzed-up version of that honest headline would never be used by click-chasing modern media.

Google search results showing articles about a study on lower rates of overweight among vegan-fed cats.
Notice the bottom right headline, which misinterprets a statistical analysis for “odds” of being overweight.

Ninety percent of the people who responded were female, and 71 percent were from the UK, according to the published paper.

Then the authors kneaded the data with the usual opaquely-named practices: “exploratory regression analysis” (a data-mining technique), regression models (AI-assisted statistical technique that involves comparing existing data with the result you predicted/hope to see), sensitivity analysis (changing variables to assess their impact on the overall findings), and so on.

When all was said and done, 4.1 percent of the meat-eating cats and 3.1 percent of the vegan cats were over their ideal weights, in their humans’ estimation. Meat-eating cats were also more likely to be underweight (2.3 percent) compared to vegan cats (0.8 percent).

The conclusion? The findings were “non-significant,” the researchers wrote, along with the obligatory call for more research on the topic.

We should also point out that in addition to their classification as obligate carnivores, cats require specific proteins and nutrients (taurine, arachidonic acid, vitamins A and B12) from meat-based diets that they cannot synthesize themselves and are not found in plant-based protein. “Vegan cat food” must have those proteins and nutrients added. If cats are deprived of them, they suffer slow, painful declines that result in organ shutdown and death.

Because of their evolutionary history, cats aren’t as adept at breaking down plant-based starches and their bodies don’t produce enough of a specific enzyme (amylase) that breaks down starch and complex carbohydrates.

Human ideas of morality aren’t applicable to cats. Feed them meat.

Open comments Caturday! Although not mentioned in the headlines, today’s the day for open comments: anything off-topic, marriage proposals or modeling contracts for Buddy, updates on your own cats, suggestions on stories to cover and whatever else is on your mind. Happy Caturday!

Header image credit: Pexels

He Got Virginia’s Harshest-Ever Animal Abuse Penalty. It’s NOT Enough

Some people should not be allowed back into society, for the protection of people and animals.

Rodney Travis Jr. will spend the next 15 years in prison.

The 27-year-old Virginia man has received the harshest animal abuse penalty in his state’s history for what prosecutors called “acts of unspeakable evil”: Travis “adopted” dozens of cats from shelters, then checked into hotel rooms and tortured them for an online audience, who paid him for his acts of savagery.

I’m not going to get into exactly what he did. I’ve read about similar cases and I’m still haunted by the horrific things people do to cats for the sick bastards who get some sort of grotesque thrill from the suffering of animals.

What I will say is that 15 years is not enough.

This man needs to be permanently removed from society. I don’t believe the death penalty is consistent with a general respect for life, and it would be the easy way out.

Travis should sit in a prison cell for the rest of his life and think about what he did to animals, innocent creatures who feel pain just as much as we do.

Collage of various cats in different poses and settings, showcasing their distinct features and expressions.
Some of Travis’ victims.

He should remain segregated from human society for the rest of his life, because a person who is capable of planning such acts of barbarity, who used multiple identities to fool shelters and rescues, who taunted suspicious rescuers and inflicted so much pain and suffering, is emphatically not a person who can be released back into society.

Travis was caught thanks to the efforts of an entire network of animal lovers who helped track him down, and by a concerned hotel employee, who informed police when Travis checked into a hotel at 2 a.m. and departed about seven hours later, leaving blood and cat fur behind.

In addition to brutally torturing cats, Travis admitted to making $400,000 by posing as a good guy, uploading images of the injured cats online, and accepting donations he said were for veterinary care. He also claimed some of the cats had been diagnosed with cancer, opening Instagram accounts for each cat and relying on the sympathy of well-intentioned animal lovers.

In addition to proving how intentional and calculating Travis was in his crimes, this should be a reminder to everyone that our charitable dollars are best spent on reputable organizations that are registered as non-profits and have Form 990s filed with the IRS in good standing, with the documentation available on public sites like GuideStar. Too many bad actors, including people who operate rage-bait sites that post animal abuse cases and solicit money for things like running petitions, vacuum up cash from people they deceive.

Do not let him out

Statistics on recidivism, particularly for the kind of crimes Travis committed, do not bode well for anyone unlucky to encounter Travis when he is released – human or animal.

Animal life has intrinsic value, and that’s reason enough to keep Travis imprisoned, but we also know people who harm animals are very likely to move on to human victims as well. The evidence is overwhelming.

People who harm animals are five times as likely to harm humans compared to non-violent criminals. Forty three percent of school shooters had animal abuse incidents in their past. School shooters in Uvalde, Parkland and Buffalo, the authors of some of the worst school massacres in American history, all had records of animal abuse and abuse involving cats specifically.

Of those school shooters with histories of killing and torturing animals, some 90 percent committed “up close and personal” mutilation, bludgeoning, burning or strangling of their non-human victims.

Psychological studies of animal abusers show faulty brain wiring that results in a lack of empathy, extreme callousness, histories of anti-social behavior and lack of impulse control.

Anyone who tortures or kills beautiful, innocent animals should face the same punishments society inflicts on people who torture or kill humans. Credit: Mayara Caroline Mombelli/Pexels

These are not people we should be allowing back into society, no matter how many misguided people argue that their victims are “just” cats, dogs and other animals. Every sign points to recidivism, yet somehow we act as if it’s a ludicrous idea to sentence people to long prison terms for animal abuse crimes.

Equally important is the fact that our politicians, who never met a special interest they wouldn’t take money from, have utterly failed to meaningfully update animal abuse laws or make penalties commensurate with the brutality of the crimes in question.

We accept endemic corruption, naked self-interest and the destruction of our country because we think politician A or B is some crucial vote in ultimately meaningless culture war nonsense, then act as if we’ve been given mana from heaven when one or two deign to listen to the handful of overworked, under-funded animal welfare organizations with vague promises that maybe, at some nebulous time in the future, they might allow a committee hearing on an animal abuse problem that has existed for decades.

That needs to stop. Our “public servants” need to be held accountable at the polls for their inaction.

Travis tortured 26 cats that we know of. Only four survived. He posted the videos to Youtube, Instagram and TikTok, platforms that collectively have an abysmal record of responding to animal abuse reports and seem to have a policy of doing absolutely nothing until law enforcement or an animal rights charity with national reach comes calling.

We, and most especially the animals, deserve better than this.

Cat Caught Smuggling Drugs Into Siberian Prison, Plus: Rapper Xhibitz Celebrates His Feline’s 20th

“Well, first of all, I love my cat. I take care of her,” the rapper says of his Thunder Cat.

Some of you may remember Xzibit (pronounced exhibit), if not from his music then his stint as the host of Pimp My Ride, a show in which X and a custom car garage would take people’s junkers and turn them into extravagant moving art pieces with unique and over-the-top features.

One memorable episode, for example, had the crew transform the interior of one car into an aquarium, with fish tanks built into the backs of seats and door panels, while others featured innovations like trunks that folded out to become fully-functional kitchens.

What people may not know is that Xzibit is also a dedicated cat dad, and we mean dedicated. He keeps Thunder Cat on a diet of healthy food, brings her for regular check-ups and IV infusions at the vet due to previous problems with dehydration-related illnesses, and gives her the attention she deserves as a living being.

“She’s seen it all,” he added. “And everybody’s asking how I’ve kept her alive for this long. Well first of all, I love my cat. I take care of her, and I look out.”

The 51-year-old emcee, real name Alvin Nathaniel Joiner, said he was initially surprised when people expressed so much interest in Thunder Cat. He said he constantly gets correspondence from fans who love his cat. In an Instagram video, he held up a shirt with images of Thunder Cat sent to him by a fan.

“And yes,” he said, “I’ve worn this.”

Los Gatos bungles a delivery

The cat used to smuggle drugs into a maximum-security labor camp prison in Russia. Credit: FSIN/Russian government

A cat has been released and is free to go without charges after inmates tried to use the feline to smuggle drugs into their Russian prison, Russia’s Federal Penitentiary Service (FSIN in Russian) said.

The unimaginatively-named Penal Colony No. 17 is in Krasnoyarsk, a city of about 1.2 million, and it’s brutal. It’s a maximum-security labor camp mostly for foreign prisoners in a region of Siberia where the average temperature in winter is below zero.

Not the kind of place you ever want to find yourself, which is certainly one reason why the inmates are trying to dull their existence with drugs. Their courier was a black and white cat who caught the eye of a prison officer because it was wearing two home made collars.

Prison security called for a K9 unit to sniff at the white powder found inside the collars, and you know the rest. There’s no word on whether anyone inside or outside the prison has been hit with charges, but thankfully the cat was unharmed, deemed healthy and set free.

Maryland Man Tried To Use A Kitten To Rob A Bank, Cops Say

The suspect’s crime spree was short lived and the kitten has been returned.

Magnolia is back after her meowgnificent caper.

The three-and-a-half month old kitten was conscripted into an attempted bank robbery by a man who stole her from the adoptable cats section of a Maryland pet shop late Tuesday morning, then took her to a nearby bank.

Security camera footage from the pet store shows the suspect cradling Magnolia as he darts out of the shop.

The man, whose name has not been released by police, then asked a teller to hold the kitten while he scribbled out a note demanding cash.

Despite the suspect’s wily and carefully calibrated plan, the attempted robbery went awry when police arrived in force before he could escape with any cash.

Meanwhile the pet store employees across the street, unaware of the attempted robbery, watched the cops converging and thought the local sheriff was very serious about pilfered pets.

“I immediately saw all of these police cars, and I thought, ‘Wow, that’s a heck of a response for a stolen cat,” Stephanie Stullich of Beltsville Community Cats told a local TV news station.

As for Magnolia, she seems to be a resilient kitten and wasn’t particularly phased by her ordeal. Footage after her return shows her happily batting her paws at a toy. When pet store staff were told by the cops that their cat was in the bank, they found Magnolia cuddling up with the bank manager.

The man who stole her had visited several times and had been fixated on the kitten, store employees told the local NBC affiliate.

Magnolia was back and safe shortly after her ordeal. Now she’s looking for her forever family. Credit: NBC Washington

Surely treats are in order for little Magnolia. We’re glad to hear she’s okay. She’s available for adoption, by the way, and wants to retire from her brief lifeof crime. Stullich says she’s “looking for a law-abiding citizen with a lot of love in their heart.”

Police haven’t offered details besides acknowledging the incident and saying they’re still sorting details out. We’ll update as more information becomes available.