Tag: cat nap

Buddy, cat humor, Feline Weirdness, human servants

Point-Counterpoint: ‘Personal Space Is Sacred!’ vs ‘You’re My Mattress, Human!’

‘Personal Space is Sacred!’

buddycolumnHey! Unhand me, human! Did I say you could assault my cheeks and ears?!?

Well, yes, usually I do like when you give me scritches, but right now I could do without your sweaty, no-fur-having, clumsy human paw.

As a matter of fact, get away from me! I was here first! This is my couch, I merely let you occupy it out of the goodness of my heart because I’m such an unselfish feline. I would like to remain undisturbed until further notice!

What is it with humans and personal space, huh? What kind of malfunction leads your supposedly intelligent and “superior” species to sidle up uninvited and just start stroking feline fur? Did we call you over? Did we paw deliver a “Come pet me!” card in golf leaf ink? Did I personally invite you to groom me?

I think not.

We’re gonna have to start working on boundaries, human. Now fetch me a snack while I mull this over.

‘You’re My Mattress, Human!’

buddycolumnNothing’s better after a long day of eating and sleeping than having a nice dinner and settling down on your lap for a comfortable nap. Don’t get me wrong, your my bed isn’t bad. The chair is comfy. I even nap on your computer chair from time to time, especially after you vacate it and it’s nice and warm. The rug underneath the table even has its charms.

But nothing beats sleeping in your lap, or on your legs, or on your chest, or even sleeping on your back and using your butt as a pillow. When you woke up the other night and could hardly breathe because I was draped over your face, that was pretty funny, wasn’t it?

Yep. It’s nice that we’re such good pals, human and cat, that I can use you as my mattress!

As you know, it’s impossible for me to catch some Zs without sleeping directly on top of you, burrowed into your side, or even with a paw resting on you if it’s a hot summer night. That way you can’t get out of bed without me knowing about it, and you can’t sneak off to the bathroom without me.

What’s a bit of personal space between feline and human friends?

cat humor, Cat on the Street, Feline Overlords, human servants

Cat On The Street: How Will You Celebrate Labor Day?

Today is Labor Day, a federal holiday first recognized 128 years ago to highlight the achievements of the US labor movement and the rights of workers. Labor Day caps off a three-day weekend marking the end of summer.

What are your plans for Labor Day?

“Lots and lots of napping. I’ve been getting by on a paltry 14 hours a night all week.” – Jimmy, 7, couch warmer

“Nothing special. I’m just going to relax and kill a few insects.” – Tilda, 12, window sentinel

“CHECK IT OUT MY SHADOW MOVES!!! WATCH MY TAIL!! MY TAIL’S SHADOW MOVES WHEN I MOVE MY TAIL!!” – Fluffistapheles, 3 1/2 months, kitten scientist

“First of all it’s labour, dear chap, and it puts ghastly ideas about slacking off in the heads of our bipedal servants. I plan to studiously ignore it, particularly because you Americans celebrate it on the wrong day.” – Alastair, 3, British cat

“What’s labor?” – Marshmallow, 5, professional napper

“Why? You plan to tell me what I can do? LOL!” – Apollo, 10, taste tester

cat humor, Feline Overlords, human servants

Point/Counterpoint: ‘Disrupting My Sleep Is Really Rude!’ vs ‘Is It Not Reasonable To Walk On Your Face While You’re Sleeping?’

Disrupting My Sleep Is Really Rude! by Buddy the Cat, columnist.

buddycolumnHey! Not cool, dude! I was sleeping and you woke me up by sitting on the other side of the couch! And yesterday I was napping on your keyboard, trying to make up sleep after only getting 12 hours the day before, when you picked me up and placed me on your bed, mumbling some sort of lame apology about how you have to do “work.”

Is it too much to ask for a little consideration around here? Is it too much to ask that you put off nature’s call for a mere three or four hours when I fall asleep in your lap? I’m not asking for much!

The next time you’re tempted to disturb my beauty rest, ask yourself how you’d feel if I did the same thing to you!

catface

Is It Not Reasonable To Walk On Your Face While You Sleep? by Buddy the Cat, columnist

buddycolumnWhat? Why are you being so dramatic? So I walked on your face and screeched into your ear. What’s the big deal?

I was hungry. I wanted breakfast. The whims of my appetite must always come before your “need” for sleep.

I don’t know if you realize this, human, but you are very comfortable to lounge, sleep, walk and bounce on. I find my creative powers are heightened to their utmost when I’m laying on top of you, keeping you locked into an uncomfortable position while you’re willing to allow your limbs to fall asleep for my comfort.

Is that not the crux of our relationship, anyway? You feed me, take care of me, groom me, entertain me and pick up after me, in exchange for being in my delightful company, yes? It could be argued that allowing me to sleep on you and walk on your face is but a basic part of your duties as a servant.

Now let us discuss the idea of a turkey dispenser next to your my bed…

Point-Counterpoint presents two essays taking opposing positions on a topic. Join us again next week, when Buddy the Cat will debate Buddy the Cat on another important topic.