thebigbuddy

Introducing Little Buddy Collectible Figurines!

Now you can celebrate Buddy in your own home or office with our beautiful hand-painted figurines from The Buddinese Miniatures Collection!

A common refrain we’ve heard since we’ve launched PITB is “We can’t get enough of Buddy! We want more Buddy!”

In addition to our upcoming Buddacious T-Shirts™ line of Budswear apparel, we’re proud to announce these beautifully sculpted, limited edition decorative figurines, part of The Buddinese Miniatures Collection. Each piece is hand-painted and numbered, and would make a handsome addition to any display in your home or office.

Forget Hummels, vintage toys and boring artwork — there’s a snazzy new way to decorate your home that’ll allow you to show off your great taste in felines!

Turkey Feast

This beautiful figurine will improve any mantle or shelf of collectibles! Be the envy of your friends with “Turkey Feast,” the inaugural figurine in The Buddinese Miniatures Collection’s First Edition. Featuring an adorable Buddy with his favorite food in the world. ($39.95 + S&H)

Gym Cat

Buddy is as well known for his ripped and meowscular physique as he is for his charm, wit and handsome visage. This gorgeously rendered figurine shows the Budster getting his reps in and working the meowscles that made him an icon across the globe! ($64.95 + S&H)

Warrior of Legend

Feline. Bodybuilder. Handsome rogue. Fearless warrior. The Buddinese Miniatures Collection is proud to present First Edition figurine #003, Warrior of Legend. ($65.95 + S&H)

Big Baller

During his stint as the starting point guard for the New York Knicks during the 2016-2017 season, Buddy the Cat averaged 19.7 points, 8.2 assists, 0.7 rebounds and 5.5 steals while shooting a sizzling 53 percent from the field, leading the team to its first payoff berth in years. This handsome hand-painted figurine captures Buddy in mid-stride during a fast break, pushing the ball up the court. Will he stop short to drain a three-pointer, find an open man beneath the basket or drive the lane for a thunderous dunk? ($49.95 + S&H)

Bend the Knee

Most people know Buddy is a beloved former president of the Americats who balanced the budget, increased the nutritional value and portion size of wet food and presided over an era of unprecedented peace and prosperity, but did you know Buddy’s ancestors were kings? It’s no wonder the little guy cuts such a regal and commanding figure atop his gilded throne. Bend the knee to this kingly tabby! ($74.95 S+H)

Caribbean Breeze

What could be better than lounging beneath an umbrella on a pristine beach amid palm trees, with sparkling blue ocean as far as they eye can see? Hanging out with Buddy on a pristine beach amid palm trees on the sparkling blue ocean, of course! This figurine comes with an accompanying diorama of heaven on Earth, so you can imagine yourself on vacation with Buddy himself! ($79.95 + S&H)

Stay tuned for the upcoming release of The Buddinese Miniatures Collection’s Second Edition, which will feature even more stunning figurines of everyone’s favorite feline!

Turkey Currency Exchange Rate:

We accept turkey in lieu of cash! The current exchange rate is 1.227 cans per $1USD, so a limited edition Buddy figurine valued at $49.95, for example, can be purchased for the low price of 61.28 cans of turkey pate. We also accept shredded turkey and turkey in gravy, although Buddy warns collectors that Kirkland Signature is not an acceptable form of currency.

Through Tears, Young Girl Revives Kitten Succumbing To Cold

A feel-good video about a kitten who was rescued from the brink of death.

The girl in this video found an orange tabby kitten on the verge of death in Hubei, China, and refused to give up on the little one.

Through tears, she used a hair dryer to warm the kitten while her 39-year-old dad filmed her efforts. She was successful! The kitten slowly began to stir and felt well enough after two hours to lap up some milk.

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Temperatures in Hubei can plunge into the 20s and 30s overnight this time of year, so the kitten would have died without the little girl’s intervention.

London Under Siege As Pro-Palmerston Forces Seek To Overthrow Larry The Cat

The battle between the UK’s most prominent felines could upend the political order and engulf the realm in chaos!

LONDON — Larry the Cat patrolled his familiar route through Downing Street, nodding at the fully armored soldiers and security professionals who lined the narrow passage as if to say “Alright, then!”

The UK’s most beloved feline and de facto head of state felt it was important to personally inspect the defenses and raise the morale of his men as more reports arrived of intense fighting on the edges of the city, where Larry loyalists clashed with supporters of Palmerston, the former chief mouser at Whitehall and Larry’s longtime nemesis.

Larry vs Palmerston — Palmerston, left, and Larry, right, during one of their epic battles while Palmerston was still top cat at Whitehall.

The British public were told Palmerston “retired” in 2020 to enjoy a more leisurely life at his countryside estate, putting an end to the intense skirmishes between himself and No. 10’s chief mouser.

But it appears Palmerston’s “retirement” was but a ruse, and the calculating tuxedo has spent the past four years laying the foundations for a coup aimed at deposing Larry.

“This has come as quite a shock to us all, obviously,” Prime Minister Keir Starmer told reporters. “Larry’s primacy was always viewed as ironclad. He’s outlasted five prime ministers and will remain here long after I’m booted out of the job. A challenge to his rule is unthinkable, and we will not allow this vile Palmerston-led rebellion to endanger our nation!”

A diplomatic party led by Sir Jacob Rees-Mogg was dispatched to the Palmerstonian camp to discuss a cessation of hostilities, but the former MP was sent back tied to a donkey and smelling powerfully of feline urine.

FCO_Chief_Mouser_Palmerston — Palmerston during his Whitehall days. The tuxedo was the highest ranking feline in the UK’s foreign office.

Analysts called the rebellion the most serious threat to the UK’s political stability in centuries, warning of potential uprisings of Palmerston sympathiers in Wales and Scotland.

“As loved as Larry is, he’s come to be seen as an insider, comfortably ensconced in the halls of power,” said Nigel Bancroft, a political columnist with the Times. “Palmerston has reinvented himself as a populist fighting for the interests of the common man. That rebranding, so to speak, has allowed him to gain favor with working class citizens.”

“But make no mistake,” he added, “Palmerston is ruthless.”

The Palmerstonian loyalists delivered a letter with a list of demands to No. 10 Downing St., beginning with the voluntary resignation of Larry and his banishment to the Isle of Man.

They also warned Starmer to banish his two family cats from No. 10, clearing the way for Palmerston to assume power unchallenged.

Despite leading an uprising, Palmerston was making inroads with the public

“That Larry, he’s an okay bloke,” said Alastair Hughes of Gravesend. “But Palmerston is a cat of the people. He gets us. He’s the kind of lad you can have a pint with, know what I mean?”

No Respect! 6% Of Americans Think They Can Beat A Grizzly Bear In A Fight, 69% Think They Can Beat A Cat

A Yougov survey of Americans produced some hilarious results when respondents were asked how they’d fare in hypothetical combat.

In the opening scene of Netflix’s Afraid, a woman is using her iPad in bed when she asks her husband: “Did you know six percent of Americans believe they could beat a grizzly bear in a fight?”

I had to pause the movie right there and see if there was any truth to the claim. Sure enough, in a Yougov survey from 2021, titled “Rumble In The Jungle,” six percent of respondents — almost entirely men — said they could defeat a grizzly bear unarmed.

Grizzly bears top out at more than 2,000 pounds, can crush bowling balls with their paws and have claws the size of large knives. They’re also extraordinarily well-protected, with heavy fur and fat protecting their vital organs. If you think you can harm one unarmed, let alone kill it, well, good luck with that.

Incredibly, eight percent said they could defeat a lion, gorilla or elephant, while 17 percent thought they could take on a chimpanzee. Again, the respondents who liked their own odds against extraordinarily lethal animals were almost exclusively men. The survey doesn’t say what they were smoking when they responded.

Domestic cats fared poorly in the imaginations of Americans: 69 percent thought they could defeat the little stinkers in hypothetical battles. Only rats fared worse, with 72 percent sure of victory in unarmed single combat.

“This is really an insult to felines,” said Buddy the Cat, a combatologist at Buddesian University. “However, we jaguars fared much better, as we were projected to win about two-thirds of hypothetical fights against other animals, including elephants, rhinos and tigers. Personally I think it’s closer to 99 percent, but I won’t protest. It’s better for us if we’re underestimated.”

He chalked human overconfidence up to the fact that people are “bizarre creatures who live in a fantasy world,” and have “an unfulfilled yearning to be something more than our servants.”

“They don’t have the claws, teeth or, like, the muscle fibers we do,” he explained. “Those advantages make it possible for me to kill a caiman with a single bite or tear an anaconda apart in seconds. Jaguar means ‘He who kills with one leap,’ did you know that? Yeah, it’s pretty badass.”

South Carolina Man Enlisted His Wife, Mother And 2 Others To Poison Colony Cats, Police Say

The felines were found deceased near open tins of tuna, and laboratory tests confirmed they’d been poisoned.

In early October, a woman who helps manage a colony of stray cats in South Carolina’s Lowcountry stopped by to feed them and was distraught by what she saw.

Six cats lay dead not far from several open tins of tuna. After the woman called for help and a larger group searched the area, they found the bodies of seven more cats and three opossums, the Berkeley County Sheriff’s Office said.

The cats were spayed/neutered and managed by volunteers from Lowcountry Trap, Neuter and Release Network, meaning their population was controlled and they were routinely monitored and given veterinary care.

Tests showed the cats were poisoned, according to the Professional Veterinary Pathology Services in Columbia and the Michigan State University Veterinary Diagnostic Laboratory.

While police were looking into the poisoning, they got a tip that a local man had been complaining about the cats and claiming they were a nuisance.

On Thursday, police charged 28-year-old Andrew Dock and 45-year-old Charles Waylon Ulmer with 13 counts of felony ill-treatment to animals with torture and one count of conspiracy. Dock’s wife, Sara Rose Dock, 23, and his mother, Laura Mary Dock, 61, were charged with conspiracy along with Michael Jeffrey Kemmerlin, 30. All five suspects live in or near Summerville, a town about 25 miles northwest of Charleston.

Each felony count is punishable by as many as five years in prison and a $5,000 fine, per South Carolina penal code.

Mugshots — Credit: Berkeley County Sheriff’s Office

Dock was the ringleader of the group, according to police, and enlisted the others to help him poison the cats.

“Anyone that is capable of putting out poison and creating that level of pain and suffering is a concern to me as a human in our community,” Carol Linville, founder of a local nonprofit called Pet Helpers, told Lowcountry news station WCSC. ”That is a dangerous person. If they can do it to a cat, they can do it to a dog or do anything else that they deem they don’t want around.”

Locals involved with colony management and animal rescue praised the Berkeley County Sheriff’s Office for seeing the investigation through and arresting the suspects.

“The fact that the law enforcement took this seriously and really wanted to see justice and really do their due diligence to make sure that justice is really coming for these cats. I am, I’m very grateful,” said Kayte Williams, one of the women who cared for the colony. “Hopefully nothing like this happens again because the public will know if this happens, you will be prosecuted, you will be charged and you are not going to get away with it.”

Andrew Dock Sarah Rose Dock — Andrew and Sara Rose Dock. Credit: Facebook

On his social media accounts, Dock describes himself as a former welding instructor at Horry-Georgetown Technical College originally from Newark, New Jersey.

All five suspects were released after posting bond, according to the Berkeley County Sheriff’s Office. It wasn’t immediately clear if they had retained lawyers, or if they were given return dates for preliminary hearings.