Tag: COVID-19

Maybe He’s Born With It. Maybe It’s Meowbelline.

NEW YORK — Buddy the Cat will be the new face and official spokesmodel of designer Fursace’s new Covidian Collection, the Italian fashion house announced Wednesday.

In addition, Buddy unveiled brand new photos of his four signature looks in his Buddy: 2020 Look Book.

The rakishly handsome tabby’s famous quartet of looks includes icy Blue Steel, Ferrari (a softer look for catalogues and footwear), fiery Le Tigre and the venerated Magnum, which took years to perfect.

“Buddy. So hot right now. Buddy.” – Jacobim Mugatu, designer

Fans got an intimate look at le Tigre at last year’s Feline Fashion Week in Milan, where Bud modeled Dolce and Gabbana’s Meowgnificent collection. The “really, really ridiculously good-looking” cat has been a fixture on the haute couture scene since 2014 when he was a kitten.

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Buddy the Cat walks the runway ahead of German model Leon Dame during last year’s Fashion Week in Paris.

This year the fabulous felid is expected to take the runway for Fursace’s Covidian Collection, a show that draws inspiration from Victorian-era plague doctor masks, gloves and overcoats to create what designer Gianni Fursace calls “pandemic chic.”

“Fashion cuts to the heart of life’s most essential questions, and this season it’s all about one question in particular: What good is protection from the virus if you don’t look fabulous in the first place?” Fursace asked. “What’s the point of surviving if you’re wearing something you wouldn’t be caught dead in?”

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Buddy models a $6,250 mask, part of Fursace’s Covidian Collection.

Jacobim Mugatu — the world-famous fashion designer best known for his Derelicte line of homeless-inspired fashionwear and inventing the piano neck tie — praised Fursace for making Buddy the face of his new campaign.

“Buddy has long been my muse as I strive to create clothes that redefine what it means to be fabulous,” Mugatu said. “Buddy. So hot right now. Buddy.”

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Clockwise from top left: Le Tigre, Blue Steel, Ferrari and Magnum. Credit: Versace Covidian Fall Collection

UK Cat Positive For COVID: ‘Don’t Kiss Your Pets’

A female Siamese has become the first cat to test positive for COVID-19 in the UK.

The cat almost certainly caught the virus from her COVID-infected owners, authorities said. Christine Middlemiss, the U.K.’s top veterinary official, echoed the CDC in urging people not to freak out:

“There is no evidence to suggest that pets directly transmit the virus to humans,” Middlemiss said. “We will continue to monitor this situation closely and will update our guidance to pet owners should the situation change.”

Owners who have COVID-like symptoms should social distance from their own pets, says Margaret Hosie, a virologist at the University of Glasgow: “Don’t kiss your cat. Don’t have the cat sleeping in a bed with you, and don’t share food with the cat.”

If your cat is anything like mine, good luck trying to tell him he’s not sleeping in your his bed.

Kleptomaniac cat collects goggles

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Avery with his stash of swimming goggles. Credit: BBC

A cat in Bristol, UK, has an odd obsession with swimming goggles. The four-year-old moggie, Avery, has stolen eight pairs so far this summer.

Avery’s human, Sally Bell, said she’s checked with her neighbors and no one’s told her they’re missing goggles, so Avery must be wandering further than realized.

“He doesn’t play with the goggles, he just leaves them for me. In fact, the pair he brought home the other day had a dead mouse with them – two presents at once,” Bell told the BBC. “I feel so bad in case it’s children who are being brought new goggles and they’re getting into trouble because they keep going missing.”

Terrible human beings are terrible

Someone is shooting cats with pellet guns in a Wyandotte, Michigan, neighborhood. Four cats have been killed and a fifth had a leg amputated after he was shot, WDIV reports. There’s a reward for information leading to the shooter’s arrest, and police want to hear from anyone with information about the cat shootings.

Meanwhile, the Humane Society of Utah is offering a $5,000 reward for information leading to the arrest of a sicko who tied a cat down, tortured it and set it on fire.

A woman found Sterling the cat on July 21 and brought him to the veterinarian. Little Sterling made it through surgery and remains under the care of the vet, who’s providing pain medication and making sure the tough kitty is being “loved and spoiled.”

“This level of cruelty should unnerve the community,” said the Humane Society’s Rachel Heatley. “In the interest of public safety, an individual who is capable of torturing an animal needs to be identified and taken off the street as soon as possible.”

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Sterling survived and is recovering from his wounds. Credit: Humane Society of Utah

President Buddy Takes Aim At Dr. Meowci: ‘He Doesn’t Even Bury His Poop’

WASHINGTON — In an escalating war of words between the White House and the nation’s top infectious disease expert, President Buddy criticized the CDC’s Dr. Anthony Meowci on Tuesday, telling reporters Meowci “is a treat-hogging fearmonger who doesn’t even bury his own poop.”

Despite insisting he and Dr. Meowci “have a terrific relationship,” the president unloaded on the head of the Cat Disease Center (CDC), reading down a list of bullet points critical of Meowci.

“We’re talking about a cat who puked on the carpet in 2015, knocked over a priceless vase in 2012 and peed outside the litter box in 2009,” President Buddy said. “We’re gonna trust him to tell us when we can open our businesses and send our kittens back to school?”

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Dr. Meowci addresses reporters during a briefing last month.

A White House aide added fuel to the fire on Monday night after sharing a tweet from game show host Chonk Woolery, who floated a conspiracy theory claiming Meowci was telling everyone to stay indoors “so he could keep all the snacks to himself.”

“Meowci tells cats to stay inside, then he makes a circuit to all the homes in the country, gorging on the food left out for other cats by humans,” Woolery claimed.

Political observers say President Buddy has shifted the focus to Meowci after his previous plan to fight the Coronavirus — by moving the entire planet closer to the sun — failed to curb the spread. Earlier, the president pointed the finger at Siamese cats, who he said knew about the virus but didn’t warn fellow felines around the world.

C-Anon, the feline conspiracy group, quickly latched onto the new claims and invented their own, accusing Meowci of participating in a kitten smuggling ring operating out of the basement of a pizza parlor.

At the press conference, White House spokeswoman Kayleigh MeowcEnany pointed to a chart showing White House estimates of economic growth while following Meowci’s advice, and while ignoring it. The latter graph showed exponential growth and riches for every Americat beyond their wildest dreams.

Still, President Buddy insisted there was no tension during daily Coronavirus briefings at the White House.

“Dr. Meowci is a tremendous cat,” Buddy said. “A terrific cat. We have a very good relationship, a beautiful relationship.”

Is This Cat Really Wearing A Mask In A Historical Photo From 1920?

Because we never miss an opportunity to do spectacularly stupid things here in good old ‘Merica, we’ve politicized the act of wearing a mask, the simplest and most effective way to prevent the spread of the Coronavirus.

Since mask-wearing has become a meme as well, a historical photo that apparently shows a cat wearing a mask has been making the rounds. It shows a California family — mom, dad, two boys, two girls and a cat — standing together for a group photo, with each of them wearing a facial covering.

It’s become something of a go-to on social media, used in response to those who believe the virus is a hoax, a minor threat overblown by the US media, or an invention of evil Big Pharma who infected the world — while cackling evilly, presumably — in order to rake in enormous profits from selling the vaccine. (How “Big Pharma” is making billions off a vaccine that doesn’t exist is never explained by the conspiracy theorists.)

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A cat in a medical mask. (Source)

The photo was archived by the Dublin (CA) Heritage Park and Museum, and it’s dated from 1920, the third and last year the Spanish Flu spread to every corner of the globe. Between 50 and 100 million people lost their lives to that virus, historians estimate, and it wasn’t until several decades later that scientists understood what they were dealing with.

Snopes spoke to Tyler Phillips, who coordinates the archival material for the Dublin Heritage Park and Museum. Unfortunately, Phillips said, not much is known about the photograph other than that it was taken around 1920.

“The fun thing about this photo is that it does appear that even the cat is wearing a mask, but unfortunately we cannot prove that. The staff here at our museum go back and forth on that same question,” Phillips said. “My personal belief is that it is an optical illusion. I cant imagine any cat staying that calm with a tight fitting mask on their face. Also if you zoom in real close you can start to see the faint features of the cats face (nose and mouth). Since the original photo is pretty small and very old its not much easier to tell looking at it.”

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So Snopes says the claim that the cat is wearing a mask is “unproven,” and Phillips thinks it’s an optical illusion.

We here at PITB think it’s a legit mask: We don’t see whiskers or even visual artifacts that would result from pixelated or blurred whiskers at the low resolution of the photo. In addition, it’s perfectly normal for a mask to follow the contours of a face, so that doesn’t rule out a mask. A coat pattern that happens to look exactly like a cloth mask, however, isn’t common.

Lastly, cats are individuals. Some will tolerate masks, some won’t. Buddy would probably try to claw me to death if I made him wear a mask, but your average Maine Coon would probably think, “Yeah whatever is cool, bro!”

One thing’s for sure, though: You won’t see any cats confusing the small inconvenience of wearing a mask with “tyranny” or “oppression,” and you won’t see Kitty Karens pulling the snowflake card in grocery stores, insisting the rules don’t apply to them. Those are uniquely human behaviors.

 

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President Buddy Unveils Plan To Move Earth Closer To Sun

WASHINGTON — Emboldened by new research that shows UV light and heat have a dramatic effect on the novel Coronavirus, President Buddy unveiled a new plan on Thursday to move the planet closer to the sun.

Leaning against his podium/scratcher, the president pointed a paw toward a large monitor showing an animation of Earth moving closer to the sun on the ecliptic.

“My advisors tell me sunlight is very powerful and does a tremendous job of destroying the virus, so I said, ‘Why can’t we increase the amount of sunlight, like with a brighter bulb or something?’” President Buddy told reporters. “I was surprised to learn that we can’t make the sun brighter, but what we can do is move our planet closer to the sun to soak up more of those terrific UV rays!”

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Seeking to use “more of that tremendous sunlight” to combat SARS-CoV2, President Buddy unveiled a plan to move Earth closer to the sun.

The plan drew immediate condemnation from CHOW — Cat Health Organization Worldwide — as well as from the international community, with fellow heads of state maintaining President Buddy could not unilaterally move the entire planet without first consulting with other world leaders.

“This aggression will not stand!” Siamese Chairman Xinnie the Pooh declared during his own press conference.

Asked about pushback from global leaders, President Buddy shrugged and yawned.

“Who’s the leader of the free cats? Oh, that’s right. I am! I say this is a terrific plan, the number one plan, and it’s going to be fantastic, believe me.”

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Dr. Deborah Purrx wearing one of her trademark scarves.

The president’s science advisors said the plan was to move the Earth approximately .5 AU closer to its home star, soaking up “all that tremendous UV” to eradicate the Coronavirus.

Dr. Deborah Purrx, who heads the White House Coronavirus Task Force, tried to reassure nervous reporters that all life on the planet would not be wiped out in a great wave of all-consuming fire.

“The President feels the whole country would be more like Florida,” Dr. Purrx said, pausing to lap at a water bowl next to the podium. “The weather’s pretty good in Florida, isn’t it? I mean, that’s where kitties go to retire.”

Stocks in companies that manufacture air conditioners soared after the announcement, with some pawlitical rivals accusing senatorial cats of snatching up those stocks ahead of time before the plan was announced to the public.

“That’s ridiculous,” Sen. Widdle Tiger said in response to criticism after he purchased $4 million in air conditioner manufacturing stocks. “What we should be outraged about is…oh look, someone’s giving out free Temptations!”

Reached later on Thursday at a nursery where he was sniffing the fur of kittens and telling stories about his days as a boxer, former Vice Purrsident Joe Bitin’ — President Buddy’s presumptive opponent in the general election — blasted the president’s plan as “stupid and dangerous.”

“I used to deal with bullies like the president all the time,” Bitin’ said, leaning in to take a deep huff of a six-week-old kitten’s fur. “But this ain’t 1962, it’s 1988, and we don’t put up with bullies anymore.”

The former vice purrsident looked momentarily confused as an aide whispered into his ear, then nodded.

“I misspoke, folks,” Bitin’ said. “That reminds me of the time I ate Coco Puffs in Lincoln, Nebraska back in 1983. Look at these beautiful kittens. Wow. Was it Coco Puffs or Corn Pops? Or maybe Rice Krispies…”