Readers Are Furious With Mag Over Severe Cat Neglect Story, PLUS: Buddy’s Le Handsome Club!

New York magazine’s article included difficult-to-read details about the severe neglect of a pet cat, and didn’t offer any reassurances that the forsaken feline was okay.

Happy Thursday! Before we get into today’s cat news, I’d like to share my current Google News search string, which has helped me keep my sanity over the last few weeks. It’s simple:

“cat -doja -vance -shot”

And voila, no more stories about Doja Cat, fewer blood pressure-raising articles about people who think shooting felines is a sport, and you’re mercifully saved from the 17,457th “think piece” about JD Vance and cat ladies.

The “relatable” column about severely neglecting a cat

New York magazine’s editors knew they were wading into a minefield with this week’s pet ethics issue, and the author of a story about neglecting her cat knew it too, which is why she took the preventative step of using a nom de plume.

In a column titled “Why Do I Hate My Pet After Having A Baby?” (later softened by the editors to “Why Did I Stop Loving My Cat When I Had A Baby?”), “Audrey” writes about severely neglecting her cat, Lucky, after having her first child.

She not only developed what she calls a “postpartum loathing” of Lucky, she admits to not feeding the poor feline for so long that Lucky ate plants out of desperation, then predictably threw up. The forsaken feline began eliminating on the floor because her litterbox was not being scooped. She lost “at least one tooth” and because even water was denied her, she had to drink out of the toilet. The life-threatening neglect and emotional abuse lasted months.

“If I treated a human the way I treated my cat, I would be in prison for years,” Audrey admits, describing Lucky’s own descent into depression as the cat became the scapegoat for all of Audrey’s negative feelings.

Cats (and dogs) understand a lot more than we give them credit for, especially when it comes to our emotional states, to which they are hyper-attuned because they are directly impacted. We’re talking about animals who have been companions to humans for 10,000 and 30,000 years, respectively. Not only does their companionship predate human civilization and the concept of recorded history, they have evolved to intuitively read human facial expressions and body language. They can even smell our pheromones, which means they’re often consciously aware of our moods before we are.

I’ll never forget what my brother said to me a few weeks after I adopted Bud, upon meeting the little guy for the first time: “You’re his whole world.” I’ve tried to make that world as loving, safe and fun for my cat as I can, because he deserves it. He’s given me back so much in return.

Adopting comes with responsibility. It’s not just about meeting an innocent animal’s basic needs, like food and water. It’s about providing our four-legged friends with good lives and never taking our bad days out on them.

“Audrey” says she tried to get rid of Lucky, leaving the windows of her home open, and because the original version of the story dealt almost exclusively with the author’s mental health, readers were disturbed by the lack of any follow-up on Lucky’s situation.

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The negative reaction was so strong that New York’s editors took the unusual step of attaching a note to the story claiming they “confirmed the welfare of the cat prior to publishing the story.”

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That didn’t satisfy the magazine’s critics, who accused them of behaving “callously” by presenting the author’s abuse of Lucky as a “relatable” symptom of post-partum depression.

“Why are you ignoring one of the most controversial articles you’ve ever published instead of addressing it?” one reader wrote. “It’s not going to just go away – we will not forget … The people will not stop until that cat is safe and loved, and your publication is held responsible.”

Insisting the magazine’s editors be “held responsible” is a bit much, and I’m not a fan of censorship. The bigger issue is the lack of concern for the cat even in retrospect, and the attempt to normalize postpartum animal abuse, as if it’s just a thing people do. It feels like a missed opportunity to explore why such things happen, and to examine the problem with compassion for all involved, human and animal.

Buddy the Cat’s Le Handsome Club is now open to le handsome cats

This is really just an excuse to show off my latest poster promoting PITB, but readers will recognize the concept of Le Handsome Club from earlier satirical stories about the Budster.

Le Handsome Club
Le Handsome Club: The club for le handsome cats!

I’ve written before about “real Buddy” and “cartoon Buddy,” which is the version of him that exists in PITB’s world of absurd satire. Cartoon Buddy is real Buddy with his quirks, narcissistic qualities and amusing lunacy dialed up to 11.

Someone once asked me how to write a children’s book because they want to write one about their pets. Since I’ve never written a children’s book I wasn’t much help, but I did share the basic process for Buddesian hijinks: Imagine a situation, then imagine how Bud would respond to it if he could speak.

The more ridiculous, the better, and I think it’s worked out well, with stories about Buddy getting conned by a Nigerian prince’s cat, the ongoing saga of Los Gatos catnip cartel and the meowfia, Buddy’s disastrous first (and only) term as president of the Americats, and the Budster’s ongoing bromance with the jaguars of the Amazon.

So yes, Le Handsome Club. I could definitely see my cat, who thinks he’s Catdonis and Arnold Schwarzenegger rolled into one, founding a club for really, really, ridiculously good looking cats, to paraphrase Ben Stiller’s Zoolander.

Buddy
Very le handsome.

Caption Contest: What’s Bud Thinking?

Caption a photo of the world’s most Buddinese feline!

Is he yawning? Screaming in terror before dashing behind my legs? Reacting to someone spilling the tea about a friend? Awestruck at a giant turkey?

Well, that’s up to you!

funny buddy
Your witty caption goes here.

Other Toms Throw Shade At Buddy In Latest Episode of The Bachelorette: Choupette

Suitors are lined up for the cream-coated Burmese feline, who inherited an estimated $13 million fortune when her fashion designer human died.

Simba may have stolen a kiss with Choupette at the end of a moonlight walk, and Oreo may have scored by bringing her to a candle-lit hot tub, but most of the toms on The Bachelorette: Choupette remained focused on shading Buddy.

Perhaps because he’s widely viewed as a frontrunner for the affections of the cream-furred Birman, other toms hoping for her paw in marriage claimed they were not impressed by Buddy’s antics.

The silver tabby’s date with Choupette consisted of a simple meal of turkey pate, some after-dinner grooming and couch-scratching, and finally a bird-watching session, with both felines chirping away at a flock that had chosen an epic oak nearby.

“It’s almost like he’s saying ‘I don’t care about your fortune, Choupette, I’m here for you,’ which is frankly revolting,” said Loki, a four-year-old British shorthair. “Everyone knows I’m the only one who really cares about Choupette.”

Choupette
Choupette has appeared on the covers of almost every major fashion magazine in the world, usually in the arms of supermodels.

Choupette, the famous companion and muse to late German fashion designer Karl Lagerfeld, is worth an estimated $13 million thanks to her inheritance.

The young season got off to a rough start last week with confusion during the rose ceremony.

“What’s this for?” contestant Tux said after Choupette gave him a rose.

“She’s sending you home, dude,” said Jasper, a handsome Maine Coon.

“Wait, I thought that was the immunity idol,” Buddy interjected.

“It’s not an immunity idol, dummy!” Jasper said. “Wrong reality show. Sheesh, don’t you watch Real Housewives?”

The cats argued about it for several minutes until an angry Choupette told them to stop their meowing, and in the end it was Oliver, a seven-year-old Chartreux, who was sent home.

“Oh yeah, well I didn’t want a stupid rose anyway!” Oliver said, belching loudly as he left the mansion.

Choupette’s next decision may have been made for her when Garfield, a ginger tabby, said the quiet part out loud in a poem he wrote about the feline heiress. 

“Oh Choupette, your fur is so creamy,” Garfield recited, “your eyes are so blue, and your fortune is so dreamy. Our mansion will have scratchers on every…”

“Stop!” Choupette said, turning to the producers. “Send him home!”

“Choupette, my love! Don’t do this!” Garfield called over his shoulder as two burly tigers hauled him away. “Was it something I said?”

Point/Counterpoint: ‘There Are So Many Wonderful Places To Lounge!’ vs ‘Dude, You’re In My Spot!’

Buddy the Cat praises the many comfortable lounging spots at Casa de Buddy, while Buddy the Cat blasts his human for sitting in his favorite spot! Who’s right?

There Are So Many Wonderful Places to Lounge!

buddycolumnYou know what I like about our my home, human? It affords me seemingly endless comfortable places to lounge and nap.

There’s the rug underneath the dinner table, which is soft and makes me feel well-protected with a roof over my head and chairs blocking access to anyone larger than me.

There’s your padded fake leather office chair, which not only retains your butt heat, but is also a fabulous item to scratch.

There’s my bed, which used to be your bed, which I graciously still allow you to use 22.3 percent of. Oh, and the wonderful raised platform above my scratcher, where I can watch birds safely and make weird noises when they fly. In the winter, the radiator provides a toasty alternative to draftier spots.

When I was but a kitten, I never dreamed of having such a vast realm to call my own, with so many comfortable places to be lazy.

Indeed, there’s no place like home, and no places like my spots.

Dude, You’re In My Spot!

buddycolumnCome on! Get up!

This is not funny. You know that’s my favorite spot! The left side of the couch is comfortable, warm, gives me a good view of everything, and smells like you.

Get up! Get up! If you don’t vacate the premises immediately I will be forced to disappear, wait until you’re distracted, then nearly give you a heart attack with a well-timed ambush.

Or perhaps I will take my spot anyway by sitting on your head. How foolish would you look then, eh human?

Yes, there are plenty of other places for me to rest but I like this one because you’re sitting in it.

Grrrr, fine! But I’m sleeping on top of you, so if you need to heed nature’s call, do it now, human. I don’t like to be disturbed by your bathroom trips. Also, could you try to breathe a little less? It’s just that when I’m laying on your chest, I can feel your exhales on my fur and it’s really annoying. If you could keep breathing to a minimum, that’d be great.

How Is It Possible That People Can’t Recognize Their Own Cats?

PLUS: Today’s the deadline for UK residents to get their cats microchipped under a new law that levies a hefty fine for people who don’t comply.

Another day, another story about a person who can’t tell if the cat they’ve brought inside is their own or a random lookalike.

In this case, a woman named Amber Porter says her indoor-only cat bolted outside, and after a few hours she was able to bring him back in — only to have doubts about whether he’s actually her cat. Meanwhile, an identical-looking black cat is hovering around Porter’s home, and she’s trying to lure it inside.

“I’m still a little worried about it,” Porter said. “I have fully convinced myself I have the wrong cat but I also think I do have the right one.”

This absolutely blows my mind. If someone asked me how long it would take to determine if a gray tabby is Buddy, I’d say approximately half a second. It’s not because of his “bib,” that unique white tuft of hair on his chest, or his pronounced muzzle, although both would offer confirmation.

It’s his behavior, his mannerisms and movement, the fact that if we were separated, he’d meow loudly the second we’re reunited and I’d hear that familiar half-trill, half-meow he does that seems to be Buddesian for “Hello, servant!”

In any case, I hope Amber Porter figures out which cat is hers, and the story looks like it’ll have a happy ending because she says she intends to keep both cats.

Today’s the deadline to get your cats microchipped in the UK

A reminder to our British readers: today, June 10, is the deadline to have your cat microchipped under a new law that makes chips mandatory.

If you’re caught with an unchipped cat, the fine is a hefty £500, or about $635 in ‘Merican greenbacks. That’s some serious chop, so get your little buddy chipped!

Tabby cat
“Chip me, human!” Credit: FOX/Pexels

Alice Potter, a cat welfare specialist with the RSPCA, told Sky News that microchips with up-to-date information are the biggest factor in reuniting cats with their humans when the former go missing.

“On average, 11% of all cats coming into the RSPCA’s care are still not microchipped. We’ve also rescued cats who have been microchipped but the details haven’t been kept up to date, which is arguably even more frustrating as it means cats spend a long time in our care whilst we fruitlessly try to contact the owner with out-of-date information,” Potter said.

“However, we’ve also seen countless stories of cats that have been reunited with their owners thanks to a tiny microchip – showing what this change of legislation will achieve for animal welfare.”