Los Gatos Woo Customers With Drone Catnip Delivery

LOS ANGELES — Cats looking for a fix could soon enjoy the convenience of prompt, contactless delivery of premium catnip thanks to a new drone delivery pilot program from Los Gatos.

“Getting high-quality nipcotics into the paws of our customers is our highest priority,” said Jose Purrado, executive vice president of product for Los Gatos. “We believe drones are the future of delivery, and we’ve invested millions into a robust, user-friendly experience. It’s now easier than ever for cats to get their fix.”

The criminal cartel turned legitimate player in the legal catnip market has been focusing on increasing market share from its primary competitors, including the Meowfia and the Buddy Organization, which has been recently rebranded as Nipped In The Bud Catnip Co.

Earlier this year Los Gatos introduced a shiny new app that allows feline customers to order catnip and silvervine directly, in the strain, potency and form of their choosing.

In addition to all-natural catnip in plant form, the app features catnip vaporizers, as well as catnip edibles in various meaty flavors, like Trippy Tuna and Meowie Wowie Beef Chews.

Credit: Andrew Marttila

While Nipped In The Bud Catnip Co. will compete with Los Gatos in the legal catnip market, the Meowfia have doubled down on the illicit market.

“Why pay tax on your ‘nip, or let the government know you enjoy a little silver vine pick-me-up before work?” said Fiorenzo “Uncle Enzo” Giaguaro, the Meowfia’s public face. “Our clients come to Cosa Nostra Catnip because we take care of them, our product is excellent, and we have a convenient loan program. You can also bet on the latest baseball game or boxing match with any one of our friendly and well-trained ‘nip brokers. When you deal with Cosa Nostra, you’re family.”

Credit: Andrew Marttila

6 thoughts on “Los Gatos Woo Customers With Drone Catnip Delivery”

  1. You and lilโ€™ Bud are hysterical and brighten up my days. Thank you because you made quarantine in NYC much easier and funnier than it could have been. I was โ€œgroundedโ€ for almost six months due to my health and you never failed to make me laugh.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thanks for the kind words, Brenda. I’m glad you’ve gotten some laughs out of the Budster’s antics and his many adventures selling catnip, becoming an aristocat and ingratiating himself with jaguars. Looks like we’ve got another wave of COVID here in New York, and hopefully it’s just a blip.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. “Nipped in the Bud” – ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

    And in the first set of four pictures: the lower left-hand corner: ๐Ÿ˜น๐Ÿ˜น๐Ÿ˜น

    “Fiorenzo Giaguaro” – the Floral Jaguar? ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I love that photo too. It’s like the kitten feels the first rush of catnip high and says “Oh!” I’m not sure why the photos are displaying so small. I’ll see if I can fix them.

      Uncle Enzo is also a reference to a character from Neal Stephenson’s Snow Crash.

      Liked by 1 person

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