Is it “weird” and “creepy” to call yourself a cat dad?
One Redditor’s girlfriend thinks so, and didn’t hesitate to tell him. The 24-year-old poster says he’s had cats since he was 15 years old, and his current cat recently gave birth to a litter of kittens.
“I was so happy I took a pic and posted it online with the title saying that I’m now a cat dad for these cute kittens and that they’re my babies,” he wrote. “My post got lots of likes and reactions, but when my girlfriend saw it she picked a fight with me calling it cringe that I constantly refer to these kittens as my babies. She told me it’s just weird and lowkey creepy.”
The post comes from Reddit’s ever-flowing fount of entertainment, the subreddit known as “Am I The Asshole?“
In his version of the story, the Redditor says his girlfriend demanded he remove the post because she was worried it would cause her embarrassment with her friends. He refused, they argued, and she left to stay at a friend’s house to cool off.
The situation has not been resolved.
“We’re still fighting about it and she keeps on about how inconsiderate I am to keep doing something I know she’s uncomfortable with,” Mr. Cat Dad writes.
The response among Redditors was overwhelmingly in favor of the poster, saying he’s emphatically “not the asshole.” Many responded with their own stories about cat dads, while others said the girlfriend was perpetuating harmful gender stereotypes.
“I feel sorry for your girlfriend,” a female poster wrote. “She has no joy in her heart and worried entirely too much about what other people think. Spoiler: nobody cares, live your best life.”
Keeping in mind these posts only tell one side of the story, it’s not unusual to hear about people who think men who like cats are weird, just like it’s pretty common to hear women called “crazy cat ladies.”
We don’t have that problem here at PITB, mostly because Bud is undeniably manly. If you saw a guy walking down the street with a tiger on a leash, you wouldn’t mess with him, would you? Well, Buddy’s indistinguishable from a tiger: same predatory gait, same intimidating and intense presence, same razor sharp claws and rippling meowscles.
I don’t call Bud my child or my son. He’s my Buddy. But if guys want to call themselves cat dads, who’s to say that’s a bad thing?
Pain In The Bud 
I have heard you say many times that you don’t call Buddy your kid, he’s your buddy & get it. I know that you wouldn’t call him your son. Yet, I have Oreo Boy & I have not called him my son yet but I referred to my late girl Patti Poo as my dog daughter. I treat & have treated all my furry family members just like well, FAMILY. In some cases, maybe bcuz I have a small & almost non existent family at this stage of my life, these four legged babies are my kids, in my mind anyway. AITA for being that cringe crazy cat lady? I don’t know & IDGAF. I’m all in for any furry rescue I’ve had past & present. These fuzzy fur babies have been a source of kindness, compassion & unconditional love to me. I’m here for it, all day & everyday. Oreo is 7 & just two weeks ago he started having some urinary tract issues & like any kid, we flew off to his Dr/Vet, addressed the issue. Changed his diet, his litter (Ok wouldn’t change my son or daughters litter but anyway) & I’m doing medication, 3 of them every 12 hours. He will be on one for life. Long term his prognosis looks good & I’m going to do everything I can, including checking on him, giving him extra rubs if he needs them & watching for strange behavior just to be safe. If that doesn’t constitute the way I treat a family member besides we have to communicate very differently, then what does? I worked in Dementia Care & trust me I have better communication skills with Oreo, IJS.
So if “IATA” so be it. Call me the a*hole, I wouldn’t change a thing. Well maybe if I could I’d make Oreo feel better yesterday & if we could say anything to one another, I’d let him know he’s my kid & I adore him & after I thanked him, I’d tell him to please get better bcuz my world wouldn’t be as good without him.
That’s where I stand.
I don’t think I know what’s right for everyone but I know what fits for me. Well let me close here but before I’m off to serve Oreo, “Hello to you & Buddy” & I hope you’re both doing well today & everyday.
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I’m glad you got Oreo’s UTI taken care of and that he’s okay with medication. I’m sure that must have been a scare.
As you know, I don’t make any judgment on anyone who calls their cats (or dogs for that matter) their kids. Likewise, there would be no difference in the way I feel about Bud or the way I care for him if I called him my “furbaby” or whatever instead of calling him my buddy. There are definitely parental elements, including the fact that I’m a pushover and it’s hard to say no to him.
The most important thing, IMO, is how we treat our cats.
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Of course you’re a pushover! Buddy’s power and savage strength make it obvious who’s in charge … say no at your peril! 🙂
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That’s why I don’t walk him in the day time. I don’t want to make people nervous or accidentally start a stampede of people running when they see him. You’ve heard his roar, it can shake entire buildings.
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I know & I understand & I certainly didn’t feel judged by you but there are the others who have & still do not appreciate my cat family banter. I was simply agreeing with most of the sub Reddit people who said the man was not the A*hole. I do thank you for not being judgemental because I’ve come upon those who do not hold back & let me know their opinion on the matter. So again best to you & that handsome Buddy of yours & thanks again for taking the time to write me! I think I’m going to owe Buddy for your time so please apologize to him for me properly with the snack of his choosing ;*) He is certainly a King amongst Cat’s! He’s also incredibly gorgeous… Oh, tyvm from Oreo who is actually on the mend. As I am typing this he’s got the infamous zoomyz so he’s definitely better than the lethargic cat of almost 2 weeks ago.
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It’s no problem at all. I respond to almost every comment. Sometimes I forget that I have comments on a post if it’s a busy week for cat news.
I’m glad Oreo is feeling better. Zooms are a very good sign! Sounds like he’s ready to play with some toys and be a cat again.
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Cat dads are the best! Any woman in her right mind would see that dude is a keeper!
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Absolutely!!
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I think out little (under 1 year old) female feline, that I found in a box at the side of the road, as a tiny baby, is my sister wife because I hardly get a look in with my husband when we’re both home together. She jumps straight on to his lap as soon as he sits down and sleeps on his side of the bed. And then he accuses *me* of stealing the doona!
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Exactly!! Much respect for cat dads. And any girlfriend who has a problem with that is a red flag. Send her packing. And vice versa.
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We have been “cat parents” for nearly 45 years and have had the most awesome collection of cats rescued from shelters or other places (cat rescues)! Right now we have an adorable cat my husband rescued from 20’up in a tree when a pack of coyotes blew through. He is so much fun and came to us right before our old kitty had to go to sleep! Saved us SO MUCH GRIEF as we swore we wouldn’t get another cat and go through that again! Now we have a 2 year old, 20 lb Maine Coon who keeps us on our toes!
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Maine Coons are awesome. He must be a big boy at 20 pounds. That’s the equivalent of two Buddies! I love hearing stories about cats just showing up on people’s doorsteps or in their yards and finding their forever homes.
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At first I didn’t think we should keep him but then I thought of him being in a cage by himself and not knowing where he was and after about 5 minutes of thinking that we thought up names for him! At first we named him R.C.MUFFIN (rescued coyote muffin) but when he started to grow and fill in and got BIG we had to change his name to Spunkmeyer which fits him! You would like him Buddy and Big Buddy!
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Spunkmeyer after the character in Aliens, or something else? I’m glad you kept him. Apparently MCs can keep growing until they’re 3+ years old.
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It was reported a few years ago that Surrey (B.C.) had an estimated 36,000 feral cats, very many of which suffer severe malnourishment, debilitating injury and/or infection. Yet the municipal government, as well as aware yet uncaring residents, did little or nothing to help with the local non-profit Trap/Neuter/Release program, regardless of its success in reducing such needless suffering. And I was informed that their “numbers would have increased, not decreased, in the last 5 years.”
It’s the only charity to which I’ve ever donated, in no small part because of the plentiful human callousness towards the plight of those cats and the countless others elsewhere. These include the cats whose owners have allowed to wander the neighborhood at night only to be slaughtered by hungry wild animals or, worse, tortured to death by cat-haters procuring sick satisfaction.
Meanwhile, there remains a truly tragic human-nature propensity to perceive the value of life (sometimes even human life in regularly war-torn or overpopulated famine-stricken global regions) in relation to the conditions enjoyed or suffered by that life. With the mindset of feline disposability, it might be: ‘Oh, there’s a lot more whence they came’. Yet, these mammals’ qualities, especially their non-humanly innocence, make losing them such a great heart break for their owners. …
Only when overpopulations of unwanted cats are greatly reduced in number by responsible owners consistently spaying/neutering their felines might these beautiful animals’ presence be truly appreciated.
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She’s projecting. How about how inconsiderate she is for b*tching about something that he’s really into?
I think he should let her keep on walking.
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I’m with you, she’s not right & selfish is an understatement.
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Good point. And it’s a wholesome thing too, it’s not like the guy is going to strip clubs or staying out till 3 am several nights a week. In his original post he mentions his GF does not like his cat sleeping in the bed either, so it doesn’t seem like that relationship is gonna last.
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Beware of people who profess to “hate” a specific animal and give reasons for their hatred. That’s an indicator that should not be ignored. It’s one thing to prefer cats over dogs or birds over the former. I’ve met quite a few people who had very strong dislikes, and they were a-holes. Pardon the language!
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Send that person packing. I had a male client who had two cats he loved. He thinks girlfriend purposely left window opened so cat could fall. She claimed she had allergies and should get rid of them before they get married. No sign of allergies.
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If ANYONE & I mean anyone asks me to get rid of my furry family they’re history. It’s happened before & without getting into a major novel here, basically I say if you make me choose you’ll always lose. The End.
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Nothing wrong with being a cat dad or cat mom … if someone doesn’t like it or thinks it’s weird. That’s their problem. It’s not like those type of INDVIDUALS are valuable in any way to me. To me .. those kind of people are WORTHLESS
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Mee-yow!!! Buddy an Big Buddy wee sayss if a Lady not like a Man who LOVESS catss so much shee shuud go find sum nasty dude!
A Hu’man who lovess catss that much iss a REEL Keepurr 😉
***purrss*** BellaDharma an ((hugss)) BellaSita Mum
Pee S: Thanx fore stoppin bye an such guud advice!!!
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Indeed. Although the studies about this topic indicate it’s really only college-age/early 20s people who have those negative attitudes, and people begin to appreciate cats in their mid to late 20s or early 30s.
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There’s a June 24, 2020, Toronto Now article I read headlined “Keep Cats Out of Your Dating Profile, Ridiculous Study Suggests” that was self-explanatorily sub-headlined “Men were deemed less masculine and less attractive when they held up cats in their dating pics, according to researchers”.
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Yeah I wrote about it here. There were two different studies about that, but I think the one you’re referring to only had one age cohort, which was something like 18 to 22, and if I remember correctly they were all women from the same college. It makes sense that kids that age wouldn’t have pets, especially if they’re living in dorms.
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I don’ t believe that article for one second. I would be more interested and attracted to a man who owns a cat.
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I think it has a lot to do with the fact that it was a very limited sample size, and the respondents were all between 18 and 22. Kids that age are living in dorms where pets aren’t allowed, they’ve got a full class schedule and they’re probably partying constantly.
I’m sure the results would have looked a lot different with a larger and broader sample size.
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Likely many boyfriends actually find cats intriguing and attractive (platonically, of course, as I do), but they’re afraid to openly admit so, lest they be deemed something less than ‘a man’ for feeling/saying so about a cat. The girlfriend (or significant other) might think: If these guys have to strongly love a pet animal, why can’t they focus their strong adoration for a mammal species that’s far more socially acceptable … like a dog?
I recollect how, as a teen, I knew (and would emulate, or at least attempt to) a pair of the toughest, testosterone-laden and, like myself, straight guys around — and both also cherished his respective pet cat, albeit privately. Given the tough-guy environment of that place and time, however, no male would have dared openly express his cat enthusiasm to his large peer group, lest he seriously risk having his reputation unjustly permanently besmirched as ‘a wuss’.
There are many people out there, perhaps like you, who will question the normality of a guy who likes cats — something that’s implied by first-season Seinfeld’s George Costanza, though he’s hardly a scientifically accurate example. In a doubtful tone of voice while shaking his head, George says to Elaine Benes in regards to her new boyfriend’s affection for his two cats: “Guys with cats … I don’t know.”
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Reading your post dislodged an old memory. I was maybe six or seven years old, and one of my friends and I planted some apple seeds in a small grove that was on the way to our school bus stop. (In the days when it was considered perfectly acceptable for kids to walk a few blocks to a collective stop.)
My friend, who was a year or two older, warned me not to tell any of the othet guys we’d planted the seeds.
“Why?” I asked.
And he replied: “Because they’re gonna say it’s gay.”
I didn’t know what gay was or why planting seeds would be gay, but there you have it.
As an adult, I just don’t care what people think. Buddy is awesome. Adopting him was one of the best decisions I ever made.
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Unfortunately, my father raised me with the often-enough rhetorically-asked question: “But will people think of you doing _____?” And to this day it sticks solidly with my thinking.
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