Radiation Cats: The Bizarre Idea To Turn Felines Into Living Nuclear Waste Detectors

How do you ensure people will heed warnings to steer clear of nuclear waste storage sites thousands of years in the future? One outlandish proposal involves genetically engineering domestic cats to glow in the presence of radiation.

Imagine you’re a person living five thousand years downstream.

Maybe civilization collapsed and restarted, maybe records were lost, or maybe like Etruscan, Harappan and proto-Elamite, the languages we speak today will be long forgotten.

At any rate, if you discover a forceful warning left by your ancestors from the deep past, would you understand it without translation or cultural context?

And if you’re the one tasked with leaving the message, how would you do it?

The message has to be enduring. It must be recorded in a format that will withstand the tests of time, conquest and natural disasters. The message must be comprehensible without cultural context, because we have no idea how language will shift in the future or whether our descendants will enjoy the knowledge that comes with continuity of records.

Lastly, the message must be both compelling and absolute in its meaning, because its content is vitally important: This site contains nuclear waste. Do not under any circumstances excavate or disturb the contents of this facility. It will lead to sickness, suffering and death.

The traditional trefoil warning sign is unlikely to scare anyone off. The new radiation hazard sign, right, seems unambiguous, but so do warnings on Egyptian tombs.

How do you phrase that in a way our naturally curious species will heed the message?

We certainly didn’t heed the warnings on the tombs of King Tut and other pharaohs. For all we know, humans of the future might believe the hidden chambers deep in Yucca mountain or buried 3,000 feet underground are filled with fabulous treasures and wonders beyond imagination.

They might interpret the warnings as superstition, meant to ward off looters, “grave robbers” and anyone else who might be motivated to break in. They might see the care and effort that went into encasing the objects and conclude there must be something very much worth preserving inside.

Or they might be driven by simple curiosity, as so many human endeavors have been.

A tour group visiting the incomplete Yucca Mountain nuclear waste storage facility. Credit: Daniel Meyer/Wikimedia Commons

Arguments about how to warn the future are at least as old as the Manhattan Project (1942) and the first nuclear power plants (1954 in the USSR, 1958 in the US), but there weren’t serious efforts to come up with a plan until the 1970s, when scientists, historians and other thinkers began to engage in formal efforts to find a long-lasting solution.

Some of the ideas are boring, some are impractical, and some are absurd, like an idea to create a “garden of spikes” atop nuclear material waste sites, to discourage people from settling in the area or excavating.

Unfortunately, one idea that’s still being kicked around is the concept of the radiation cat, or raycat.

Knowledge and language may be lost to history, signage may be destroyed, physical obstacles may be removed. But one constant that has endured, that has seen empires rise and fall, and has existed long before Stonehenge and the pyramids of Giza, is the human relationship with cats.

They’re now valued as companions, but we still use them as mousers on ships, in heavily populated cities, in ancient structures and on farms and vineyards.

They’re embedded so deep into our cultural psyche that it would not be outlandish to think the archaeologists of the future may conclude the internet was constructed primarily to facilitate the exchange of images of cats.

Even the first high-bandwidth deep space transmission was a video of a cat, so in a very real sense, the dawn of a solar system-wide internet was heralded by an ultra high definition clip of an orange tabby named Taters, beamed back to earth from the exploratory spacecraft Psyche, which was 19 million miles away when it transmitted Taters on Dec. 11, 2023.

Consider also that the basic felid body plan — shared by domestic kitties, tigers, pumas, black-footed cats and the 37 other extant species — has barely changed in 30 million years, because cats are extremely successful at what they do.

In other words, cats aren’t going away, and domestic felines have a place in every human society.

So philosophers Françoise Bastide and Paolo Fabbri conceived of the “living warning” in 1984. The idea is to alter the genetic code of felis catus so that the animals glow or change color in the vicinity of nuclear waste, using minuscule levels of radiation as the trigger.

There are natural precedents for this, including bioluminescence and several species of octopus that radically change colors and patterns on their skin to evade predators.

The second component, once the genetic code has been altered, is the creation of folklore: songs, stories and myths that will endure through time, warning people to keep cats close, treat them well, and run like hell if they change color because it means something terrible, something evil beyond imagination, is nearby.

To ensure the folklore of feline Geiger counters endures, an idea by linguist and semiotician Thomas Sebeok would be incorporated. Although empires and states rise and fall, there’s one organization that has survived for 2,000 years preserving a unified message: the Catholic church.

Sebeok proposed an atomic priesthood, an order that would pass the knowledge down through generations, continually seeding culture with stories and songs of glowing felines.

Spent nuclear fuel rods are stored in on-site pools at the facilities where they were used, but pools are meant only as temporary storage solutions. Credit: Wikimedia Commons

If this stuff sounds wacky, that’s because it is. We won’t figure out a way to ensure a message is received and understood thousands of years in the future without considering some off-the-wall plans.

Of course messing with the genetic code of any animal raises serious ethical questions.

We don’t have the right to play God and tinker with the genetic code of extant species. We don’t fully understand the immediate consequences for the health and happiness of cats, and we know almost nothing about the long-term effects on the species.

I’d also argue that we have a special relationship with cats and dogs, one that exceeds any obligations we may feel toward our primate “cousins” or other non-human animals.

Cats and dogs have been living with humans for a combined 40,000 years. They have been molded by us, they are dependent on us, and all that time in human proximity has led to unique changes.

No animals on this planet can match them when it comes to reading human emotions. Our little buddies pick up on our emotional states before we’re consciously aware of them partly because of their robust sensoriums, and partly because as their caretakers, our business is their business.

A clip of a cat named Taters was the first data burst transmitted to Earth using NASA’s upgraded deep space network. Credit: NASA/JPL

We bear a responsibility to both species and the individual animals. It’s not just the fact that without them, our lives would feel less meaningful. It’s the indisputable fact that without them — without dogs who flushed out prey on yhr hunt and guarded small settlements, without cats who prevented mass starvation by hunting down rodents — we would not be here.

Cats and dogs play a major role in the story of the human race. We are indelibly linked. Their DNA is not ours to tinker with, and they are not tools we can repurpose at our convenience.

Thankfully the US Department of Energy has never endorsed the concept of raycats. While there is a website advocating for a raycat program and small groups around the world dedicated to its propagation, the interest is mostly academic.

The Raycat Solution, which maintains a site dedicated to the idea, has a FAQ which says its supporters are serious about its potential usefulness, but for now most experts see it as a thought experiment and reminder that the problem must be dealt with eventually. At some point NIMBY will have to yield to reality, and wherever the US ends up storing nuclear waste, it’ll need to be secured, sealed and marked.

The goal is for the message to endure at least 10,000 years, at which point scientists say the radiation will be minimal.

That’s assuming that the future holds the collapse and rebuilding of human civilization, or at least a technological backslide in which the majority of our species’ knowledge is lost.

We like to think things will be brighter than that and instead of glowing to warn people of danger, cats of the far future will be where they belong — with their human buddies, exploring new frontiers on starships with plenty of comfortable napping spots.

Header image depicts the Alvin Ward Vogtle Nuclear Power Plant in Georgia, the largest nuclear plant in the US. Image via Wikimedia Commons/NRC

[1] The nuclear waste storage facility at Yucca Mountain was initially funded and approved by congress in 2002, then was canceled and de-funded in 2011 after significant pushback from people who live in Nevada, along with their representatives in congress. Plans for the site have changed several times in more than two decades, leaving the US with no central, secure site to store nuclear waste.

The Push To Legalize Bodega Cats In NY Is Picking Up Steam

The proposed program would offer free spay/neuter and vaccinations for bodega-dwelling felines, who would be considered working animals.

Walk into a New York bodega and chances are you’ll see a cat snoozing on the cash register, chillin’ on the counter or sitting on a windowsill while watching the busy streets.

New York City’s bodega cats are beloved, viral sensations who are celebrated in Instagram feeds and coffee table books, but they exist in a legal gray area.

The law technically forbids them, but the fine for having a cat is the same as the fine for a rodent infestation. The latter increases for every violation while the former does not.

So it’s a no-brainer: adopt a cat, keep your place rat-free, maybe pay a fine. Or suffer a rodent infestation, which is not only awful, it can be stubborn and rack up thousands in fines if there’s even a whiff of a rat when inspectors make subsequent drop-ins.

No one bothers to hide bodega cats. In fact they’re more likely to use them as mascots for their shops, uploading photos of the little ones taking well-deserved breaks from rodent-hunting and encouraging regular customers to interact with them.

Since local activists pushed for legalizing the mascots/hunters, they’ve found support in the city council, a councilman willing to put a bill for vote, and a plan.

“Bodega cats embody the New York spirit: friendly, welcoming, and anti-rat,” councilman Keith Powers said. “I’m proud that my legislation will codify them into city law and provide resources to keep them healthy. It’s time to remove the legal limbo that our furry friends have been living under for far too long and legalize them once and for all.”

The city would officially recognize and register bodega cats. In return, the bodega owners get free spay/neuter and vaccinations for their cats. And instead of looking for the existence of felines in a store and issuing a fine, inspectors would check on the welfare of the furry exterminators in addition to their usual inspections.

It’s win-win, it’s already got some early support, and it would improve life for thousands of animals across the city.

“Keith Powers’ bill would allow them to come out of the shadows,” perennial mayoral candidate and local fixture Curtis Sliwa told amNY. “No longer would there be the constant fear that the NYC Department of Health would visit and issue fines and sometimes threaten bodega owners that they might remand the bodega cat to a shelter.”

New York’s city council discussed the proposed law last week. There isn’t a date set for a vote yet, but we’ll happily follow up when we learn more.

Images credit @bodegacats_/X

Cops: Wannabe Rapper ‘Ritually Sacrificed’ Cat To Promote Music

David Mosley wanted attention and allegedly killed a cat on camera to promote his Satanist-themed music.

What to do when you want to be a famous music artist, but your tunes are abominably awful and your gimmick is infantile?

If you’re David Mosley, apparently you beg the internet to notice you exist by allegedly murdering a cat.

The 26-year-old Bronx man was initially gleeful after sharing video and photos showing a dead cat in his Fordham North hovel surrounded by candles and a bunch of nonsense, including the word “SATAN,” spray painted on the walls.

“You should have heard the little bih squeal lol,” Mosley wrote on Instagram alongside a photo of a bloodied and dead cat in his apartment.

“I’m the king, n—a,” Mosley said in a follow-up video after mocking people who were upset that he allegedly killed the cat. “I can reach through the camera and put spells on you like that! That easily! I hexed you through the phone, through the camera. Ya’ll know I do f—ing voodoo, so don’t even call me delusional.”

Mosley during a live stream, during which he claimed supernatural powers.

A relevant question here: who adopted a cat out to this guy? I went through what felt like a CIA-level background check when I first went to adopt, and this Satanist who thinks he’s a wizard apparently had no problem just waltzing into a shelter and walking out with a cat.

Apparently angry that no one turned up to the first “show” in his illustrious music career, Mosley said he was going to take things to the “next level” with another “sacrifice” on Halloween night. In his musical endeavors he called himself Church of Ububal, with the latter word a reverse spelling of “Labubu” in reference to the viral toys.

“Be there or be square,” he wrote, per a screenshot posted to Reddit. “Like I said at my first show and no one came. But you will be at this one. Grab popcorn.”

When he got the attention he wanted, but not the reaction he wanted, he backpedaled during a live stream, claiming he found the already-deceased feline.

By that point, furious Redditors in a Bronx subreddit had closed in on his identity and exact location, and were pestering the NYPD to grab Mosley.

“Y’all are soft for falling for cheap parlor tricks” Mosley said during the live stream.

Incredibly, Bronx criminal court Judge Harold E. Bahr let Mosley walk free without having to post bail after a preliminary hearing this week, and adjourned a hearing this week after Mosley’s original attorney was not present. It’s not clear if that attorney will continue to represent Mosley.

Bahr must be confused about which decade this is. Constituents should (politely) register their displeasure with his office. People from several local cat rescues have already done so.

“We want the judge to take this seriously. We cannot wait for another crime like this to happen,” local animal welfare activist Rachel Ejsmont told News12 Bronx.

Mosley was initially charged with criminal mischief and aggravated cruelty to animals at his Oct. 30 arraignment. Activists are pushing the district attorney for more serious charges.

The court hasn’t set a date for Mosley’s next hearing after the Nov. 12 adjournment. We hope the scrutiny and his mounting legal troubles dissuade him from trying to get attention through violence again.

Lastly, I usually keep my mouth shut about this sort of thing because I know emotions run high and most people are well-intentioned, but already there are grifters latching onto this incident and using it to beg for donations for their activism, which amounts to little more than grumbling about this stuff on social media.

Be careful about who you donate to and make sure you’re giving to registered organizations with financials listed on Charity Navigator or Charity Watch. Donate your hard-earned money to groups that really do make a difference, such as the Humane Society, SPCA and local rescues that do outstanding work, like New Jersey’s Tabby’s Place. A transparent, effective charity will feature its IRS Form 990 on its website and use at least 75 percent of its revenue from donations on program spending. Be wary of “influencers,” people who say outrageous things for attention, clicks and donations, and anyone who claims they have special access to, or influence over, authorities.

Header image via News12 Bronx (screencap)

Powerful Politicians Come And Go, Scandals Erupt And Fade, And Larry The Cat Remains

As Larry marks 15 years as the chief mouser in the UK’s seat of power, No. 10 Downing Street, Britain’s most famous feline is a constant amid rapid change.

At first it didn’t look as if Larry the Cat’s tenure would last long.

The striking white and tabby mix came highly recommended from Battersea Cats and Dogs, a London shelter whose staff said he was one of their most skilled little hunters. Larry, they said, would adjust well to the busy surroundings of the prime minister’s office and residence.

Adjust he did, but not in the way then-Prime Minister David Cameron, No. 10’s staff, and the UK press thought he would. Larry began his tenure by taking long naps on the residence’s front windowsill, paying frequent visits to his “lady friend” Maisie — a mouser living in another government building several doors down — and establishing a territorial rivalry with Palmerston, the Foreign Office’s mascot and mouser.

“In a separate development, it can be revealed that Larry has a girlfriend,” a droll BBC report from 2011 confirmed, while reporting on a cat-themed quiz night fundraiser at No. 10 to ensure the chief mouser’s yums cupboard remained stocked. “Maisie, a cat who lives at the nearby St James’ Park keeper’s cottage, has struck up a relationship with Larry, a spokesman for the Royal Parks has confirmed.

“There is, though, no prospect of kittens, as Larry went under the knife some time ago,” the report continued, speculating that the chief mouser’s love life could explain “why Larry spends most evenings out – and most days fast asleep in 10 Downing Street.”

It didn’t take long for the press to begin running tongue-in-cheek stories about Larry failing to deliver on promises just like every other political animal, and for a while it looked like No. 10 would need another chief rodent exterminator.

But then Larry began covering himself in glory by defending his new domicile not only from rats and mice, but also from a fox, territorial incursions by Palmerston, ill-intentioned politicians and other undesirables.

As the years passed, Larry’s legend grew. He outlasted Cameron, then Cameron’s successor, Theresa May, who admitted she was a dog person and wasn’t fond of Larry, even denying him the use of her office chair for naps. Then there was Boris Johnson, Liz Truss, Rishi Sunak, and Keir Starmer.

Starmer is Larry’s sixth prime minister, and no one will be surprised if his tenure ends while Larry’s endures. Meanwhile, Palmerston was “retired” to the countryside and only recently returned to politics when he accompanied his human, Andrew Murdoch, to Bermuda when the latter was appointed governor there. Such is the price of incurring Larry’s wrath.

Now at 18 years old, with 15 years as chief mouser under his collar, Larry represents something rare in modern politics: stability and predictability. With the passing of Queen Elizabeth II in 2022, illness and scandal in the royal family, and the usual ephemeral nature of UK politics, Larry has become more important than ever as the stalwart in the country’s seat of power.

Larry’s given the cold shoulder to Irish and Scottish politicians, nuzzled up for scritches from former US President Barack Obama, and forced President Donald Trump to wait before departing No. 10 while taking refuge from the rain under the president’s limo. The famous feline rarely leaves the public guessing when it comes to his thoughts on visiting political figures.

He’s “the most miserable animal you’ll ever meet,” a snubbed Ian Murray, the Scottish Secretary, said after Larry refused to pose for photographs with him. (Murray, it should be noted, was relieved of his post in September, and now holds the lofty title of minister for “culture, media and sport.” Perhaps he and Palmerston can commiserate.)

But that’s part of Larry’s appeal. The chief mouser’s unimpressed reaction to powerful figures has endured him to the public, who shower him with fan mail, treats and toys.

His unintentionally comedic adventures and ability to nap under any circumstances won him the affection of the notoriously fickle UK press, who enjoy watching, photographing and writing about his antics while waiting for the less popular humans inside to update them on the big news of the day.

That’s not hyperbole, by the way: a 2024 Ipsos poll found Larry is more popular than every prime minister to share his home, and the margins aren’t even close.

It also hasn’t escaped the notice of the press that Larry “rules the roost,” and has attentive staff who open the door at No. 10 any time he wants to go in or out. The famous door is actually a blast-proof, steel replica of the wooden original, custom manufactured after the IRA fired a mortar at the residence in 1991. Thus there’s no cat flap, and staff monitoring the door from inside open it as soon as the building’s most enduring resident decides he wants back in.

The prime minister may be the UK’s most powerful political figure on paper, but Larry’s tenure, run of the place, array of servants and adoring fans all prove he’s the real power at No. 10.

Now Larry’s legend will expand even further as the UK’s Channel 4 has commissioned a documentary series on cats from writer-comedian David Baddiel. The series, which is currently filming, will feature Larry in one of its episodes.

Happy 18th birthday, Larry! We hope you see many more years filled with treats, adventures, historic furniture to nap on, and politicians to push around. And if you achieve world peace while you’re at it, no one would be surprised.

Image credits: Wikimedia Commons/UK government

Beware Of Cat!

Want to dissuade criminals from targeting your home but can’t afford a fancy security system? A warning sign featuring Buddy’s terrifying visage will do!

Times are tough, everyone’s feeling the squeeze, and criminals are more motivated than ever to target homes that may have valuables in them.

That’s why Buddy, in the spirit of altruism (and the guarantee of extra turkey) agreed to lend his fierce likeness to the below poster. According to the Buddinese Center For Criminal Justice, homeowners who display this “BEWARE OF CAT” sign are 99% less likely to be the victims of home robbery or burglary, as criminals will simply move on to a home that isn’t protected by an intimidating, extremely ripped feline:

Alternate version with even more intimidating image of feline protector: