Tag: cat

Does The Budster Love Me?

“Love is a strong word, human. I prefer ‘tolerate.’ On days when you anticipate my snack cravings before I verbalize them, you could maybe say I’m fond of you.”

Newsweek has an interesting interview with a cat behaviorist on the subject of whether cats love their humans.

Chantal Howard, a certified cat trainer with Feline Focus Training in Ottawa, told the magazine there are nine primary behaviors that indicate — or confirm — a house tiger loves his or her person. Most of these won’t be new to PITB readers, who are of course among the most cat-savvy people out there and have magnificent taste in cat blogs, but it’s still a handy way to ascertain how your feline overlord feels about you.

So how does Buddy do according to this checklist? Let’s see:

Headbutting: ✅ His Lordship is quite fond of headbutting me and favors me with dozens of headbutts throughout the day, ensuring his pheromones remain on me. You know, in case some other cat somehow comes wandering in and there’s a dispute about which furball owns me.
Kneading: ✅ Considering the fact that I’ve had to toss quite a few t-shirts because of claw rips, I’d say that’s a yes. At least he doesn’t knead my face anymore, as he liked to do when he was a kitten and would take his perch on my shoulder, nuzzle up to my neck and make biscuits against my beard.
Purring: ✅ Nine times out of 10, Buddy’s purr is inaudible, but it’s there. It’s a bit odd that such a talkative, loud cat barely makes a buzz. He likes to lay on my chest and purr up a storm while I rub his head and tell him he’s got admirers all over the world.
Chirping: ✅ Yes! In fact, chirps and trills make up a significant part of the Buddinese language. While meows can be positive, negative or demanding (“I can see the bottom of my bowl! This is an outrage, human!”), trills and chirps are always happy sounds.
Nipping: ✅ Unfortunately, yes.
Licking: ✅ He grooms my hair and my beard, and when I shave he licks my face, which is pretty gross.
Bringing Gifts: ❌ Negative. Then again, what kind of gifts can he bring me when he’s an indoor cat and doesn’t fully understand the concept of hunting?
Exposing Belly: ❌ Does he expose his belly? Yes. Does he feel comfortable enough to snooze in my lap with his belly exposed? Of course. Does he want me to give him belly rubs? No, he emphatically does not. The primordial pouch is not to be touched!
Tail Position: ✅ One of the most awesome things is the fact that Bud’s tail goes immediately into happy mode when I say “Hi, Bud!”, when I hold my hand out for a headbutt, and when I talk to him in general. His tail quivers with excitement when we play with the laser pointer or his favorite toy, and when he catches the first whiff of catnip.

So that’s 7 of 9, or 7 of 8 if we count gifts as N/A due to Bud’s hilarious ineptitude when it comes to even grasping the concept of hunting.

Bud has been known to throw up from excitement when I return from vacation, he often naps by the door when I go out, he talks to me constantly, and he’s rarely more than three or four feet away from me at any given time. All those things, plus our strong bond, have proven to me that he does love me, but it’s also nice to confirm it with a behaviorist’s criteria.

How does your cat perform on the checklist? Don’t forget to share your results in the comments.

Report: Trump Officials Added Buddy The Cat To Houthi War Plans Text Group

The mercurial tabby cat tried to convince Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth to bomb the Isle of Dogs, White House officials grudglingly acknowledged.

The controversy over leaked war plans expanded Monday after new reports revealed a journalist was not the only outsider added to a text group between senior members of the administration.

Buddy the Cat, a domestic tabby from New York, was also invited to the group and subsequently made privy to classified information, the White House acknowledged.

While Atlantic editor Jeffrey Goldberg observed the text conversation between senior members of the Trump administration without participating in the exchange, sources say Buddy the Cat tried to convince Pete Hegseth, the defense secretary, to bomb London’s Isle of Dogs.

In addition, White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt grudgingly acknowledged Buddy was able to convince Hegseth and Kristi Noem, the homeland security secretary, to send federal agents to the home of a cat named Smudge, describing him as “a gastronomic terrorist who hates America and will stop at nothing to claim all the snacks for himself.”

When administration officials denied knowing Buddy the Cat, social media users began unearthing dozens of photos of the feline associating with national leaders. No one knows how deep the conspiracy goes.

Initially White House officials denied the feline was given access to the text group, with Leavitt calling it “an egregious example of the fake news media inventing absurd stories,” but they were forced to acknowledge the veracity of the incident when confronted with copies of the exchange.

“Folks, we are cleared for go, CENTCOM has given us the green light for the fifth strike package,” Hegseth wrote. “F-18 launch imminent.”

“Are we just going to ignore the Isle of Dogs?” Buddy the Cat texted in response.

The text caused confusion, with several senior officials speculating on the sender’s identity.

“The contact says ‘BTC.’ Who the heck is this?” Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard asked.

“It’s [US Marine Corps] Gen. [Barrington T.] Caldwell,” replied Mike Waltz, the National Security Advisor. “Got to be.”

Noem also initially tried to distance herself from the scandal by claiming she didn’t know Buddy, but photographs soon emerged of the tabby cat lounging on the podium while she spoke at CPAC in 2003.

It’s not clear how senior White House officials were convinced by a cat that a London neighborhood was related to an Iran-backed Shia militia in Yemen, but an anonymous official credited Buddy the Cat for “being very convincing. We all thought he was the general.”

While the feline’s suggestion to bomb the London neighborhood was co-signed by Hegseth, it was ultimately rejected by CENTCOM, which noted the UK is an allied country and there was no indication “terrorist dogs” populated the London neighborhood.

More successful was Buddy the Cat’s suggestion to send a federal strike team to the home of Smudge, his archrival.

The chonky cat screeched his innocence after heavily armed and armored federal agents smashed the door down and found him mid-bowel movement in his litter box.

“1337et: Agents have located the CHONKY little jerk in his domicile, where they found fresh explosive materials in his litter box and a suspiciously well-stocked cupboard,” Buddy wrote to the Houthi PC Small Group.

“Congrats, general!” Waltz wrote, while Noem called the arrest “a major win for American freedom and security.”

Reporters, former military officers and intelligence officials criticized the leak, pointing out that if a cat could get access to highly sensitive war plans — and influence them in real time — America’s enemies could do the same. But White House officials pushed back on the criticism, saying it was overblown.

“So someone put a cat on a text chain,” Leavitt said, snapping at a reporter during a press briefing. “So what? You guys are, like, being so dramatic!”

Little Buddy Demands Due Regard On National Respect Your Cat Day

Your feline overlord(s) want you to show more respect, human! What special things are you doing for them today?

Little Buddy has informed me that today is National Respect Your Cat Day.

Sounds made up, doesn’t it?

At first I was sure it was, just like the times he told me it was International Buy 100 Toys For Your Cat Day, and the 82nd Annual Feed Your Cat A Ridiculous Amount of Snacks Day.

But apparently it’s real, and Buddy made a big show of declaring its importance, dressing up as a judge with a black robe and gavel to emphasize his point.

“The court rules, inter aloha, that defendant subway sandwiches judice is mens rea when it comes to the ad hoc crime of not feeding me enough snacks! The court has concluded the accused has not met de minimus standards for snackis maximis deliciousness, therefore stare decesis!”

He cleared his throat.

“In plain meows, that means you must feed me more of those crunchy ball things, and a lot more of those decadently delicious soft treats so bursting with turkalicious flavor! And, uh, you have to apologize for not appreciating me enough!”

“It’s is the court’s opinion that you cook me a steak dinner!”

The feline shuffled his papers, adjusted his robe and began reading again.

“The court finds that Buddy the Cat has been a loyal, handsome, and handsomely loyal companion to the accused, and has enriched his life by simply being delightful, and also by purring contentedly, napping on him, helping him eat cheese, keeping his scooping skills sharp, and enhancing all aspects of his life through pure magnetic charm,” he said. “Respect me and my authoritah!”

So tonight Buddy will get plenty of yums, some catnip, extra play time, and I’ll tell him he’s looking particularly dapper today.

As for those of you reading this, better plan something before word gets out…or face your cat’s wrath when they find out it was Respect Your Cat Day and you did nothing!

RSPCA Wants Cat Cafes ‘Phased Out,’ Says Cats’ Needs Not Met

Cat cafes offer a unique way for adoptable kitties to find homes, as well as a stress-reducing experience for customers, but two groups in the UK say cafes are not appropriate living spaces for cats.

Two major feline advocacy groups in the UK are urging the government to stop issuing new licenses for cat cafes, arguing they’re not good living situations for the felines who are their main attraction.

Many people see the cafe model as a win-win for cats and people. The latter get to unwind and spend time with cute animals who have a knack for lowering blood pressure, helping the stressed to relax. The cats, who are adoptable, get to run, play and live in an environment much better than a shelter cage while they wait for their forever homes.

But the RSPCA and Cats Protection, the most prominent feline welfare organization in the UK, say its “almost impossible” to meet the needs of the animals, who may be stressed by living with other cats and, they argue, are used as “entertainment” for customers.

“We don’t believe these environments can consistently provide cats with a good quality of life and are hugely concerned that many cats will be unhappy as a result,” said Alice Potter, a cat welfare specialist with the RSPCA.

“Generally cats are not sociable, and many felines often prefer to live without other cats, or prefer to form social groups with their relations.”

A cat cafe in Vilnius, the capital city of Lithuania. Credit: Wikimedia Commons

I’m not sure how I feel about this, and I’m not particularly familiar with how most cat cafes are run. The only ones I’ve been to were in Japan, and they were miraculously clean spaces with lots of things to climb, as well as nooks and private areas where cats could hide. The cats were well cared-for, staff were friendly, and the environments were relaxed.

Cat cafes also offer a unique opportunity for finding homes for the little ones. They’re much more likely to meow their way into the hearts of would-be adopters when they’re given space to run around, play and enjoy themselves as opposed to the often sullen, frightened state they’re in at shelters.

Are the UK cats groups right, or are they making perfect the enemy of good?

‘Relax, It’s Just A Cat’ Guest Says After Shoving Kitty Off Couch

A woman asks Reddit if she overreacted when she tossed her friend out over the way the friend treated her cat.

A Redditor has been assured she didn’t overreact after recounting a disturbing incident involving one of her friends and her cat.

Describing her cat as “super friendly, but a little skittish” and prefacing the anecdote by noting she always asks guests “to be gentle with her,” the Redditor relayed what happened when her cat jumped onto the couch near the seated guest.

“Out of nowhere, my friend shoved her off the couch. Not a little nudge—an actual shove that made her hit the floor hard. My cat ran and hid under my bed, and I lost it. I asked them what the hell that was, and they just laughed and said, ‘Relax, it’s just a cat.'”

“I told them to get out immediately. They acted like I was overreacting, saying they didn’t mean to hurt her and that it wasn’t a big deal. But my cat was terrified, and I don’t care if it was intentional or not—that kind of reaction to an innocent animal is not okay with me.”

The offending party is telling mutual friends that the Redditor “threw them out over ‘nothing,'” but others in their social circle have “admitted they never liked how this friend treated animals.”

Still, some told the woman she may have been too harsh for telling the cat-shover to leave immediately.

What do you think?

Tornado of claws!

For what it’s worth, most people who responded to the AITA (“Am I The Asshole?”) thread sided with the poster, and others pointed out that someone who will casually shove a cat off a couch while the caretaker is right there might do much worse if no one’s around. In other words, don’t let that person watch your cat under any circumstances.

I have never had this problem, obviously, because no one would dare shove my incredibly ripped and meowscular cat.

Jokes aside, I can’t imagine anyone I’m friends with would harm him when they know how much little dude means to me.

And as much of a wimp Bud is when it comes to vacuums, loudly crinkling paper bags and Swiffers, he has absolutely no fear of people. If someone tried to shove or toss him off a couch, I’d actually feel sorry for them, because the next instant would involve 11 pounds of furball screeching like a furious Elmo while producing a tornado of claws.

Reddit’s AITA is a reliable source of insight into antisocial behavior and social faux pas, which makes it fun to browse, but it also offers people a chance to gauge if they’ve overreacted in heated situations.

What would you have done if you were in the Redditor’s shoes?