Feline Overlords – Page 33

‘Why I Took 50,000 Pictures Of My Cats Pooping’

One software engineer went to incredible lengths to monitor her cat’s bathroom habits.

When Alan Turing, the father of artificial intelligence, posed the heady question “Can machines think?”, he inspired generations of computer scientists, philosophers, physicists and regular people to imagine the emergence of silicon-based consciousness, with humanity taking the godlike step of creating a new form of life.

And when science fiction writer Philip K. Dick wrote his seminal 1968 novel, “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?” — the story that would eventually become Ridley Scott’s 1982 classic Bladerunner — he wondered what makes us human, and whether an artificial being could possess a soul.

It’s safe to say neither of those techno-prophets were thinking of fledgling AI algorithms, representing the first small steps toward true machine-substrate intelligence, announcing themselves and their usefulness to the world by helping us watch felis catus take a shit.

And yet that’s what the inventors of the LuluPet litter box designed an AI to do, and it’s what software engineer and Youtuber Estefannie did for her cat, Teddy, who’s got a bit of a plastic-eating problem.

“The veterinarian couldn’t tell me how much plastic he ate, and it would cost me over $3,000 [to find out]. So I didn’t do it,” Estefannie explains in a new video. “Instead, the vet gave me the option of watching him go to the bathroom. If he poops and there’s no plastic in his intestines, then he won’t die, and he might actually love me back.”

Estefannie casually described how she wrote a python script, set up a camera and motion sensor, and rigged it to take photos of Teddy doing his business. But, she explained, there was “a tiny problem”: Luna the Cat, aka her cat’s cat.

“This is Luna, this is technically not my cat, this is Teddy-Bear’s cat, and she uses the same litter box as Teddy,” she explained.

For that, she’d need more than a script. She’d have to build a machine learning algorithm to gorge itself on data, cataloguing tens of thousands of photos of Teddy and Luna along with sensory information from the litter box itself, to learn to reliably determine which cat was using the loo.

So Estefannie decided it was a good opportunity to “completely remodel” Teddy’s “bathroom,” including a compartment that would hide the bespoke system monitoring his bowel movements. The system includes sensors, cameras and lights to capture still images of Teddy dropping deuces in infrared, and a live thermal imaging feed of the little guy doing his business. (Teddy’s luxurious new bedroom turned out to be too dark for conventional cameras, thus the pivot to infrared.)

From there, Estefannie manually calculated how long Teddy’s number ones and twos took, and cross-referenced that information with photo timestamps to help determine the exact nature of Teddy’s calls of nature.

catpoopinggui — The future! (Note: This is our cheesy photoshopped interpretation, not Estefannie’s actual stool monitoring interface.)

When all the data is collected, Estefannie’s custom scripts sends it to an external server, which analyzes the images from each of Teddy’s bathroom visits and renders a verdict on what he’s doing in there.

Finally, Estefannie gets an alert on her smartphone when one of the cats steps into the litterbox, allowing her the option of watching a live feed and, uh, logging all the particulars. The software determines if a number two was successful, and keeps detailed records so Teddy’s human servant can see aberrations over time.

“So now I definitely know when Teddy-Bear is not pooping and needs to go to the hospital,” she said.

I am not making this up.

For her part, Estefannie says she’s not worried about a technological singularity scenario in which angry or insulted machines, newly conscious, exact revenge on humans who made them do unsavory tasks.

“Did I make an AI whose only purpose in life is to watch my cats poop?” Estefannie asked, barely keeping a straight face. “Mmmhmm. Will it come after me when the machines rise? No! Ewww!”

Sunday Cats: Brave Woman Rescues Kitten From Sewer Pipe, Fortnite Copies Buddy

Plus: The Cat Fancier’s Association holds a cat-and-owner costume contest.

When volunteers in Elkhart, Indiana, went to trap a mom and her kittens near an industrial site, one of the babies panicked and ran straight into a hole, taking a tumble into a drainage pipe beneath.

The rescuers from a non-profit TNR group called Catsnip didn’t give up on the four-week-old baby even after finding her proved to be much more difficult than they imagined. They called off the search in Elkhart — about 160 miles north of Indianapolis — the first night when it was too dark to keep working. They dropped food for the scared fluffball, whom they could hear but still could not locate in the dark, tight subterranean space.

The next morning they were back at it, trying to literally flush the kitten out before a volunteer named Ashley descended via a manhole 75 feet from the spot where the kitten had fallen in.

The entire saga took about 48 hours and hinged on Ashley who, because of her small size, was able to squeeze into a pipe and crawl 30 feet to the terrified baby cat — then had to crawl out backwards the way she came while cradling the little one.

Mom and kittens — Piper was reunited with her mom and littermates after the rescue. Credit: Catsnip

It was worth it for the volunteers, who named the kitten Piper in honor of her adventure, gave her fluids and formula from a dropper, then reunited her with her mom. Read about the whole encounter at The Dodo. (And serious props to Ashley! Just thinking about what she had to do makes me shudder. Cats may love tight spaces, but most humans do not.)

Hey! That’s Buddy’s MO!

As gamers who generally prefer more depth, the Buddies never got on the Fortnite bandwagon, so we weren’t aware that Fortnite has a character named Meowscles until encountering this article from Cracked.

Fortnite's Meowscles — Meowscles has a Buddesian physique. Credit: Epic Games

As you can see, Meowscles was clearly inspired by Bud, who is known for his incredibly ripped physique and totally isn’t a bit chubby. (“That’s all muscle, not fat!” Buddy insists.)

Fortnite is a battle royale-style game in which up to 100 players compete against each other in live matches. The game is free-to-play, with developer Epic Games making its money by selling cosmetic items as microtransactions. Meowscles is one of about 1,400 different “outfits” players can purchase to customize their characters.

The game has been a monumental success for Epic, earning billions and leading the company to launch the Epic Games Store, the first serious competitor to Steam, which has been the dominant platform for PC gamers for years. Epic has been so flush with cash that’s it’s been giving away free games every week to lure customers away from Steam, even upping the freebies to a new game every day during the holidays.

Cat and Owner Costume Contest?!?

In Massachusetts, the Cat Fancier’s Association held its ninth annual cat and owner costume contest on Sunday. Unfortunately, the only story we can find about the event comes from the local public radio affiliate, so there’s not much in terms of photos.

If you were going to enter such a contest with your cat, what costumes would you and your fluffy overlord wear?

I’m thinking maybe I’d be a Targaryen with Bud as a baby dragon perched on my shoulder in honor of Game of Thrones/House of the Dragon. But that might offend little dude, who tends to think of himself as a hulking tiger. Perhaps the easier and more realistic “costume” would be Bud dressed as a king, snug in his own little carrier designed to look like a royal palanquin, with me carrying the palanquin as his dutiful servant. Thus, art imitates life.

Cat and Owner Costume Contest — “I put on my wizard hat and robe…” Credit: WBZ

Wealthiest Cats In The World: Taylor Swift’s Cat Makes Choupette Look Poor

From Nala Cat the incredibly popular influencer to Tomasso the stray from Rome, these cats are worth millions.

There was quite a bit of interest in our earlier story about Choupette, pet and muse to late fashion designer Karl Lagerfeld.

While Choupette was left a large slice of Lagerfeld’s reported $200 million fortune — usually pegged at about $13 million inheritance — as well as the services of a private jet, a chef and minders to see to her needs, she’s not the wealthiest feline on the planet.

Nala Cat: Estimated net worth $100 million

Nala Cat has 4.4 million followers on Instagram, her own line of cat food, and a website that sells Nala-themed shirts, phone cases, coffee mugs, plush toys, pillow covers and even COVID masks. With her gigantic social media following, which has earned her an official Guinness World Record, Nala has enormous earnings potential, taking home five- and six-figure sums for sponsored posts hawking products like topical cream for pets and milk alternatives.

Nala isn’t too happy about getting a bath.

Chances are you’ve seen Nala even if you don’t know her name.

Olivia Benson: Estimated net worth $97 million

Unlike her celebrity ex-boyfriends, Taylor Swift’s cats don’t provide her with sad breakup material for new songs, but they do give her plenty of material for social media and additional opportunities to make money. (Because let’s face it, she needs it: The singer has amassed a paltry half-billion dollars so far.)

Swift named her most famous cat Olivia Benson, which we’re told is the name of a character on Law & Order. (Apologies but once you watch The Wire, there is no going back to network TV cop dramas where the detectives are always righteous and neatly wrap up their cases in 42 minutes.) Since she was purchased by swift in 2014, Olivia Benson has gone on to star in commercials for Coke and Keds, make guest appearances on Ellen, and cameo in Swift’s music videos.

Buddy the Cat: Estimated net worth $3.67 (dollars, not millions)

While Choupette rides the skies in a private jet, Nala cat has more fans than most celebrities and Olivia Benson is feted by talk show hosts, Buddy the Cat is no slouch either: The silver tabby is chauffeured around in style in a Honda Civic, boasts an extensive food and treat cabinet that can keep him in turkey for like three weeks, and is the proud owner of a really cool cardboard box. (Not as awesome as Olivia Benson’s boxes, obviously, but still pretty cool.)

However, Buddy also has something none of the other cats on this list have: His own site with near-daily updates chronicling his adventures, attesting to his ever-growing meowscles and expanding on his legend with every post.

Most importantly, he has the love of his Big Buddy. (Awwww.) Asked what he’d do with a fortune if he suddenly became a hugely popular catfluencer, Bud said he’d buy a Roomba to ride.

wealthybuddy — “Monetize the site, human! We could be multi-thousandaires! I could have a Roomba!”

Blackie the Cat: Estimated net worth $12.5 million

Blackie belonged to Ben Rea, a millionaire antiques dealer from the UK. According to press reports, Rea was estranged from his family when he died at age 82 in 1988, so he left millions to Blackie.

Rea had some self-awareness at least — reports say he left millions, representing the bulk of his fortune, to three animal charities of his choosing. He also left a house to a close friend and willed money to his housekeeper, gardener and plumber. (Dude really didn’t like his relatives, apparently.)

Unlike the others on this list, Blackie was certified as the wealthiest cat by the Guinness Book of World Records. It’s not clear when Blackie died or what became of the remainder of his fortune. Unless he had an outrageous catnip habit and blew millions on attractive Calico escorts, it’s safe to say he didn’t burn through all $12.5 million in his remaining time on Earth.

wealthycat — “I’m cold! Throw another thousand on the fire and bring me a heavier blanket, servant!”

Tomasso the Cat: $13 million

In a true rags to riches story, Tomasso was a stray living on the streets of Rome when he was adopted by a lonely widow in her 90s. The woman, Maria Assunto, had no children of her own and treated Tomasso like a son.

When she died in 2011 at the age of 94, Assunto left Tomasso and all her money to a nurse named Stefania.

Stefania had befriended Assunto and Tomasso a few years earlier after meeting them in a public park. The nurse would bring her own cat over to Assunto’s home to play with Tomasso, and cared for Assunto as her health declined. As Assunto began to fade, she asked Stefania to care for Tomasso once she was gone.

Stefania had no idea Assunto was worth millions and was shocked when the late widow’s lawyers approached her.

“I promised her that I would look after the cat when she was no longer around. She wanted to be sure that Tommaso would be loved and cuddled. But I never imagined that she had this sort of wealth,” she said at the time. “She was very discreet and quiet. I knew very little of her private life. She only told me that she had suffered from loneliness a lot.”

Perhaps it was because Stefania had cared for Assunta and Tomasso out of the kindness of her heart that the latter chose her as her sole beneficiary.

“She had become very fond towards the nurse who assisted her,” Anna Orecchioni, Assunta’s attorney, told Italian newspaper Il Messaggero. “We’re convinced that Stefania is the right person to carry out the old lady’s wishes. She loves animals just like the woman she devoted herself to right up until the end.”

Top image of Nala credit Renaissance Pet, second and third Nala images credit @nala_cat, image of wealthy Buddy credit Buddy, photo of orange tabby credit u/Franklyimfrank via Reddit

Frankie Sad Eyes Rules With An Iron Paw

Frankie Sad Eyes is adjusting to shelter life after 11 years in his own home. He likes the people, it’s just the pesky cats who give him trouble.

Remember Frankie, the 11-year-old cat who was surrendered by his human and looked so sad, only someone with a heart of stone wouldn’t be moved by his predicament?

Frankie Sad Eyes has been living with the good people at Tabby’s Place for the past few months, with the staff attending to a few health and behavioral issues as they look for a proper home for the little guy.

While Frankie may look sad, he’s got the spirit of a little tiger, and he’s discriminating when it comes to making friends with his own kind. Staff got him settled into the spacious Community Room at the shelter and put him on behavior medication, which helped things simmer down.

All was well “until Tabby’s Place committed a serious error, at least as far as Frankie is concerned,” Tabby’s Place staffer Stephanie wrote in a blog post.

That error? Introducing a pair of bonded cats to the Community Room. Frankie didn’t take to Ralph and S’Mores, and “developed a reputation for stalking” the latter kitty, revealing his inner predator.

Frankie Sad Eyes — The ferocious feline has piercing blue eyes and uses his glare to make sure other kitties know he’s not to be messed with. Credit: Tabby’s Place

“Things got so bad one day that a staffer put Frankie in a stroller and took him outside to be near her as she worked so S’Mores could get a break,” Stephanie wrote. “Obviously, this cannot continue. But it is not the first difficult introduction we’ve had, and we’re very lucky in that we have options. It happens not infrequently that we move cats from one area to another; sometimes felines, like people, just don’t get along, and moving one to another suite can be a simple and effective solution.”

That’s just what the staff did with Frankie, moving him to the lobby “in the hopes that this higher-energy environment will offer him a little more stimulation (and that he won’t seek “stimulation” in the form of ‘torturing one’s neighbors’),” Angela Hartley, development director at Tabby’s Place, told PITB. “There are a number of zesty cats living in the lobby, so hopefully this will be a congenial crew for Frankie.”

(Here at PITB we suspect S’Mores was quietly instigating the confrontations. Frankie could never be the aggressor. Just look at that innocent face!)

Maybe it’s the cat equivalent of getting moved from a less-eventful cell block to one where the bad boys are kept, except the “cells” are spacious rooms with lots of toys and prime lounging spots, and the staff aren’t COs, but loving employees and volunteers who do their best to keep the cats happy, knowing they’re making a major adjustment to shelter life.

Encouragingly, Frankie seemed to make a friend or two before his move, even sharing a sunny window ledge with a cat named Shelley.

While Frankie would do best as the only cat in his future home, since he doesn’t like sharing the crown, his acceptance of Shelley and a few others show he’s at heart a social animal too. He just prefers humans, perhaps because we know our place is to serve him and his kind.

We wondered whether Frankie’s sometimes disagreeable disposition was the result of the trauma associated with losing his longtime home after 11 years.

“You know, it’s admittedly hard to speculate about Frankie’s motivations. He’s far from the first cat we’ve welcomed to Tabby’s Place after losing their homes, and most of them are…not Frankie-esque,” Hartley told us. “I’d be more inclined to guess that he’s always been a bit of a firecracker, but having a whole peanut gallery of feline neighbors only amplifies his exuberance.”

Here’s to hoping Frankie finds his new roommates more to his liking as he waits for a human who will return his world to its rightful order by doting on him.

Potential human servants who are interested in adopting Frankie can fill out an application online. Please note Tabby’s Place is in Ringoes, NJ, about 60 miles southeast of Manhattan.

All images courtesy of Tabby’s Place.

Entrepreneurial Cat Introduces ‘SmartHuman’ Feeding System

The AI-powered device ensures felines never have to see the bottom of their bowls again.

NEW YORK — Life is full of unpleasantness, like being able to see the bottom of your bowl. But what if someone told you he could fix that?

Enter Buddy the Cat’s SmartHuman Feeding System™, a device that harnesses the power of AI and cutting-edge hardware to make sure you never see the bottom of your bowl again.

SmartHuman was designed with weight sensors and an AI-enabled camera system to determine when the food in your bowl is getting low. If the on-board algorithms detect low levels of kibble, SmartHuman sends a text to your servant every 15 seconds until the device registers fresh kibble in the bowl.

And if the unthinkable should happen and you really are subjected to the horrific sight of the bottom of your bowl, SmartHuman’s built-in klaxon and emergency lights guarantee your human servants won’t have a second’s peace until they do what they’re supposed to and promptly refill your bowl. The system even requires the human to issue an apology before the sound and lights subside.

“I haven’t had to meow in annoyance or raise a paw once since I got the SmartHuman system,” raved Def the Defenestrator, a popular catfluencer with more than 240,000 followers on Meower. “The threat of getting bombarded with 110-decibel alerts to refill my bowl is enough to make my human servant get off her lazy behind and make sure my bowl is refilled before there’s a problem.”

The SmartHuman’s inventor has a background in feline teleportation and string cheese theory, but was prompted to design his device when he saw the bottom of his dry food bowl twice in as many months.

“I was literally starving,” Buddy said, adding that his “lazy human servant made me wait four minutes and 13 seconds before he refilled my bowl” during the second incident.

Vowing never to go hungry again, the entrepawneur built the first SmartHuman prototype in his garage, using a Raspberry Pi and a digital scale he ordered off Amazon.

He brought his idea to Shark Tank in late 2021 and successfully pitched Mr. Wonderful, who bought a 15 percent stake in SmartHuman™ in exchange for a $150,000 investment. The product entered production earlier this summer and is now available in stores and online.

“Cats love the SmartHuman™, but humans? Not so much,” Buddy the Cat admitted.

Not one to rest on his laurels, the inventive feline said he’s working on a software update that will make the device compatible with wet food as well. In early beta testing, SmartHuman successfully prompted humans to feed wet food to their feline masters on time. Wet Mode includes a new feature as well: If the wet food remains untouched after a three-minute timer elapses, SmartHuman sends another text to the human, informing them the food isn’t satisfactory and should be replaced with another meal.

“Humans are stupid, and they don’t understand when we meow to them in complaint because we don’t feel like eating tuna or whatever on a given night when we’d prefer turkey,” Buddy said. “When this update goes live, cats will be able to enjoy meals of their choosing, every time.”