Wordless Wednesday: The Buddinese Tiger
Buddy lets his meowscles do the talking.
Tag: meowscles
Introducing Little Buddy Collectible Figurines!
Now you can celebrate Buddy in your own home or office with our beautiful hand-painted figurines from The Buddinese Miniatures Collection!
A common refrain we’ve heard since we’ve launched PITB is “We can’t get enough of Buddy! We want more Buddy!”
In addition to our upcoming Buddacious T-Shirts™ line of Budswear apparel, we’re proud to announce these beautifully sculpted, limited edition decorative figurines, part of The Buddinese Miniatures Collection. Each piece is hand-painted and numbered, and would make a handsome addition to any display in your home or office.
Forget Hummels, vintage toys and boring artwork — there’s a snazzy new way to decorate your home that’ll allow you to show off your great taste in felines!
Turkey Feast
This beautiful figurine will improve any mantle or shelf of collectibles! Be the envy of your friends with “Turkey Feast,” the inaugural figurine in The Buddinese Miniatures Collection’s First Edition. Featuring an adorable Buddy with his favorite food in the world. ($39.95 + S&H)
Gym Cat
Buddy is as well known for his ripped and meowscular physique as he is for his charm, wit and handsome visage. This gorgeously rendered figurine shows the Budster getting his reps in and working the meowscles that made him an icon across the globe! ($64.95 + S&H)
Warrior of Legend
Feline. Bodybuilder. Handsome rogue. Fearless warrior. The Buddinese Miniatures Collection is proud to present First Edition figurine #003, Warrior of Legend. ($65.95 + S&H)
Big Baller
During his stint as the starting point guard for the New York Knicks during the 2016-2017 season, Buddy the Cat averaged 19.7 points, 8.2 assists, 0.7 rebounds and 5.5 steals while shooting a sizzling 53 percent from the field, leading the team to its first payoff berth in years. This handsome hand-painted figurine captures Buddy in mid-stride during a fast break, pushing the ball up the court. Will he stop short to drain a three-pointer, find an open man beneath the basket or drive the lane for a thunderous dunk? ($49.95 + S&H)
Bend the Knee
Most people know Buddy is a beloved former president of the Americats who balanced the budget, increased the nutritional value and portion size of wet food and presided over an era of unprecedented peace and prosperity, but did you know Buddy’s ancestors were kings? It’s no wonder the little guy cuts such a regal and commanding figure atop his gilded throne. Bend the knee to this kingly tabby! ($74.95 S+H)
Caribbean Breeze
What could be better than lounging beneath an umbrella on a pristine beach amid palm trees, with sparkling blue ocean as far as they eye can see? Hanging out with Buddy on a pristine beach amid palm trees on the sparkling blue ocean, of course! This figurine comes with an accompanying diorama of heaven on Earth, so you can imagine yourself on vacation with Buddy himself! ($79.95 + S&H)
Stay tuned for the upcoming release of The Buddinese Miniatures Collection’s Second Edition, which will feature even more stunning figurines of everyone’s favorite feline!
Turkey Currency Exchange Rate:
We accept turkey in lieu of cash! The current exchange rate is 1.227 cans per $1USD, so a limited edition Buddy figurine valued at $49.95, for example, can be purchased for the low price of 61.28 cans of turkey pate. We also accept shredded turkey and turkey in gravy, although Buddy warns collectors that Kirkland Signature is not an acceptable form of currency.
Dear Buddy: What Kind Of Workout Can A Feline Do To Look As Meowscular As You?
Buddy didn’t get his ripped body by just laying around doing nothing. He also ate a lot of snacks to meet his protein requirements!
Dear Buddy,
I want to be as ripped and meowscular as you are. What’s your secret, Oh Great One? How do you pack on so much meowscle mass and walk around looking like Thor if Thor were a cat?
Buddy taking a break between reps at the gym.
Buddy flexing powerfully as he readies for another set of bench presses.
Respectfully,
Awestruck in Arlington
Dear Awestruck,
It’s true, I’m pretty ripped. It’s not Photoshop either. Those are 100% real feline meowscles.
I’d say you should set realistic goals for yourself first. Half of it’s genetics, and as you know I’m a Buddinese Tiger. We’re a particularly buff breed of cat.
But if you’re committed and don’t mind rigorous workouts, you can make gains like I have, my friend! They’re the result of a grueling regimen of eating, sleeping and working out.
I break my fast first thing after waking up by screeching at my human for meowscle-building treats, which are high in protein. I usually do a light workout by making a few laps around the house, then it’s time for First Nap so I can solidify my gains and let my body heal.
The rest of the day must run like a precisely tuned machine. It’s absolutely essential that you force yourself to set aside long periods of doing absolutely nothing in order for your muscles to heal and grow.
For example, after Third Snack I like to work my abdominal muscles by having my human dangle the wand toy above me when I’m laying on my back, allowing me to perform sets of rabbit kicks. When I’m feeling the burn I do another lap, maybe chirp at some birds, and then it’s nap time again to consolidate the gains and replenish my stores of energy.
Another great workout is what I call box jumps, which are exactly what they sound like: jumping in and out of boxes.
After 7th Nap and 10th Snack I’m usually wiped, which is when it’s time for pre-bedtime sleep using my human as a pillow. His body heat helps me burn more calories and fuel meowscle growth.
It’s a daunting regimen, but if you’re committed you can look like a Catdonis just like me!
Your friend,
Buddy the Beefcake
Buddy The Cat ‘Too Busy’ To Accept Challenge From Feline MMA Phenom
Buddy says he would totally fight Sphynxie if he could fit the bout into his schedule, obviously.
Saying he couldn’t find a way to squeeze it into his schedule over the next year, Buddy the Cat declined a challenge to step into the cage with one of feline MMA’s brightest young stars.
The challenge came courtesy of Sphynxie the Smasher, a four-year-old hairless cat from San Jose, California. The skilled cat uploaded a video in which he pumped iron and ridiculed Buddy for his “completely delusional claim that he’s a badass” and his “hilarious talk about having huge muscles.”
“This is what huge meowscles look like,” Sphynxie said, curling a meaty forearm and flexing his bicep. “Not the flab of some chubby tabby hoping we won’t notice how many snacks he devours.”
Sphynxie challenged Buddy to a cage match “any time, any place” and said he’d even tie one paw behind his back “to make it even with the chonkster.”
Buddy issued a response on Twitter.
“First of all I’m not chubby, so that’s fake news!” Buddy wrote. “I’m 100% pure lean, mean badass.”
“Secondly, I’d be honored to step into the cage with Sphynxie and teach him a lesson that he’ll remember long after the real Sphinx is weathered to dust,” he continued. “Unfortunately my meownager says I can’t squeeze it into my schedule. I’m shooting my new movie, Fowl Play, through mid March, and then I’m going on tour to promote my next album. In between that stuff I really need to nap when I can, get some laser pointer work in, and catch up on eating turkey. Sphynxie should count himself lucky, because he dodged a bullet!”
The viral hashtags #BuddyDucksFights, #BuddyIsADuck and #ScaredBuddy were trending late Sunday night, prompting a long list of others to challenge the gray tabby to elicit increasingly ridiculous excuses from him.
One of them, a challenge from a five-month-old Russian named Oreonov the Putinizer, accumulated more than 20,000 likes in just a few hours.
“I am kitten. He is full grown cat, yet he won’t step into cage with me,” Oreonov wrote. “He knows I crush him for the glory of motherland.”
Frankie Sad Eyes Has Been Adopted!
The little guy lost it all when he was surrendered at 11 years old, but now he’s got a new home and a new human to dote on him.
Every once in a while a cat’s story will tug at the heartstrings, and while Bud and I are mostly impervious to that sort of thing (being so manly that we dominate our emotions, obviously), we couldn’t help but become invested in the story of Frankie Sad Eyes.
The handsome 11-year-old was surrendered by his human at an age when he should have been kicking back and telling kittens what it was like Back In His Day, and his hooded blue peepers seemed to reflect his sadness at losing everything he’d known.
In my head, I imagined Frankie and Buddy teaming up, kind of a bad cop/bad cop duo who would keep the neighborhood cats on their toes and extort treats from them.
“We don’t like it when cats don’t pay their protection yums, do we, Buddy?”
“No we don’t, Frankie.”
“It would be a shame if anything were to happen to this spiffy cat condo, wouldn’t it, Buddy?”
“That’s right, Frankie. A real shame indeed.”
Alas, Frankie doesn’t get along with other cats and Bud is a bit of a jerk when he wants to be, so it could never happen. There can be only one king here.
Instead we were content to follow Frankie’s progress from afar, with the staff at Tabby’s Place in Ringoes, NJ, providing regular updates on his health and his interactions with other cats. The latter usually involved Frankie having to “educate” his peers with a stiff paw, but also some positive exchanges as well.
Still, it was clear that Frankie needed to be the only cat in his own kingdom, and staff at Tabby’s Place were able to match the mercurial moggie with a human who will dutifully attend to his needs, make sure his new realm isn’t sullied by the presence of other cats, and provide a chill environment suited to a senior cat. At heart there’s no doubt Frankie’s a good boy. He just needs his space.
Tabby’s Place said farewell to Frankie with this video of his pre-departure “victory lap,” and it was clear from the send-off he received that he’d touched a lot of hearts during his stay, even if he did smack a lot of cats too.
Good luck, dear Frankie, and take it easy on your new human, will ya? We have no doubt she’ll dote on you like the king you are.
Pain In The Bud 