Buddy the Cat argues that personal space is sacred, while Buddy the Cat argues there should be no boundaries when it comes to cats sleeping on their humans.
‘Personal Space is Sacred!’
Hey! Unhand me, human! Did I say you could assault my cheeks and ears?!?
Well, yes, usually I do like when you give me scritches, but right now I could do without your sweaty, no-fur-having, clumsy human paw.
As a matter of fact, get away from me! I was here first! This is my couch, I merely let you occupy it out of the goodness of my heart because I’m such an unselfish feline. I would like to remain undisturbed until further notice!
What is it with humans and personal space, huh? What kind of malfunction leads your supposedly intelligent and “superior” species to sidle up uninvited and just start stroking feline fur? Did we call you over? Did we paw deliver a “Come pet me!” card in golf leaf ink? Did I personally invite you to groom me?
I think not.
We’re gonna have to start working on boundaries, human. Now fetch me a snack while I mull this over.
‘You’re My Mattress, Human!’
Nothing’s better after a long day of eating and sleeping than having a nice dinner and settling down on your lap for a comfortable nap. Don’t get me wrong, your my bed isn’t bad. The chair is comfy. I even nap on your computer chair from time to time, especially after you vacate it and it’s nice and warm. The rug underneath the table even has its charms.
But nothing beats sleeping in your lap, or on your legs, or on your chest, or even sleeping on your back and using your butt as a pillow. When you woke up the other night and could hardly breathe because I was draped over your face, that was pretty funny, wasn’t it?
Yep. It’s nice that we’re such good pals, human and cat, that I can use you as my mattress!
As you know, it’s impossible for me to catch some Zs without sleeping directly on top of you, burrowed into your side, or even with a paw resting on you if it’s a hot summer night. That way you can’t get out of bed without me knowing about it, and you can’t sneak off to the bathroom without me.
What’s a bit of personal space between feline and human friends?
Hope the Cat’s condition is so rare it doesn’t have a name, but her rescuers say it won’t lead to health complications and Hope is otherwise a very normal and friendly cat.
We all know what it’s like — you’re trying to get something done when your pet, beloved as he or she is, has decided to be really annoying in insisting on treats.
Finn the cat was in this position recently when his pet, Piper the Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, had her eye — or more likely her nose — on a small bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch on the kitchen counter. Piper couldn’t reach the tasty snack, so Finn climbed up, fished out a piece of cereal one at a time and dropped them for his loyal canine companion. (Finn himself had no interest in the sugary cereal, lacking in meat as it is.)
This should settle any remaining questions about where cats and dogs stand relative to each other:
Homeless kitten from UK has rare condition, is neither male nor female
A kitten rescued by a shelter in Warrington, about 20 miles west of Manchester, was originally listed as female and given the name hope. However, during a routine exam, a veterinarian found Hope does not have reproductive organs, according to The Guardian.
“There’s an outside possibility of some ectopic ovarian tissue hiding away internally but we think this is extremely unlikely … This is so rare that there isn’t really a commonly used term for this condition, but it is effectively sexual organ agenesis,” said Fiona Brockbank, senior veterinarian at Cats Protection in Warrington. “While this means we don’t have any previous cases [on which] to base our knowledge of how this will affect Hope in the future, we spent time monitoring this cat to ensure they can urinate and defecate appropriately before they were considered ready for rehoming.”
Hope’s condition is so rare it doesn’t have a name, but shelter manager Beni Benstead told the newspaper that shouldn’t dissuade potential adopters. Hope is very friendly with other cats at the shelter and “has been a delight to care for.”
Americats need great leadership. Who but Buddy can lead ‘Murica into the shining future?
Today is Tuesday, Nov. 8, and Buddy needs YOU to vote!
As patriotic Americats know, our beloved President Buddy was impeached after jealous rivals claimed his brilliant plan to move the Earth closer to the sun to fight Coronavirus would have been disastrous, and enlisted the help of “scientists” who scared felines into believing our planet would be in danger despite President Buddy assuring everyone that we’d all have nice weather.
Also, there was the small matter of a “scandal” involving turkey embezzlement, but that was never proven in a court of law.
Real patriotic Americats know Buddy was the best president of all time, and it’s their duty to lay the groundwork for his triumphant return in 2024 by voting in his hand-picked candidates today! If turkey raining down from the sky, treats aplenty and mandatory siestas 10 times a day sound like good policies to you, then obviously you’re a smart kitty, you’re patriotic, and you should vote Buddy!
If you like the idea of Roombas for every cat, catnip dispensaries on every corner, a new government agency dedicated to developing new toys, and a badly-needed infusion of new boxes, you should vote Buddy! Because you’re smart!
If for some reason a Buddesian-aligned candidate is not listed on your ballot, you should write in “Buddy the Cat” and send a strong message that you’re an intelligent, patriotic voter.
Paid for by BUDDY 4 PRESIDENT and THE UNITED PATRIOTS FOR BUDDY ASSOCIATION. ‘Murica!
For the full experience, listen to this while reading Buddy’s masterful lyrics:
Who’s watching
Tell me who’s watching
Who’s watching me
I’m just an average cat with an average life
I sleep from 9 to 5, and then I wake up nice
All I want is to be left alone, in my average home
But why do I always feel like
I’m in the Twilight Zone?
I always feel like some Buddy’s watchin’ me
And I have no privacy
I always feel like some Buddy’s watchin’ me
Tell me, is it just a dream?
When I come home at night
I bolt the door real tight
People call me on the phone I’m trying to avoid
Or can the people on TV see me?!?
Can they?!? Or am I just paranoid?
When I need a tongue bath,
I’m afraid to wash my fur
Cause I might open my eyes and find someone standing thur!
Kitties say I’m crazy, just a little touch
But maybe tongue baths remind me of Psycho too much
That’s why…
I always feel like some Buddy’s watchin’ me
And I have no privacy
I always feel like some Buddy’s watchin’ me
Who’s playing tricks on me?
I don’t know anymore!
Are the neighbors watching me?
Who’s watching
Well is the mailman watching me?
Tell me who’s watching
And I don’t feel safe anymore, oh what a mess
I wonder who’s watching me now
Who? The IRS?!
I always feel like some Buddy’s watchin’ me
And I have no privacy
I always feel like some Buddy’s watchin’ me
Tell me is it just a dream
I always feel like some Buddy’s watchin’ me
And I have no privacy
I always feel like some Buddy’s watchin’ me
Who’s playing tricks on me?
Two new reports estimate the cost of caring for a cat over a typical 15-year lifespan.
Two stories published in recent days give wildly varying estimates of how much it costs for the privilege of serving a cat.
First we should note that both reports assume the cats are adopted in kittenhood and the average lifespan of a cat is 15 years. That’s in line with current data showing well cared-for, indoor-only cats live between 12 and 18 years, with outliers on both ends. It’s not uncommon to hear about cats living well into their 20s just as some cats sadly pass on before their time, whether due to natural causes, illness or accidents.
A Texas cat named Creme Puff is the Guinness World Record holder for longest-lived house cat, holding on for an astonishing 38 years until her death in 2005.
Caring for a house panther can cost between $4,250 and $31,200 over kitty’s lifetime, according to an analysis of associated costs by The Ascent, a vertical of financial literacy site The Motley Fool.
The estimates break costs down into recurring expenses — which include food, treats, litter and veterinary care — and fixed expenses like scratching posts, toys, additional cat furniture, bowls, grooming tools and similar items.
Not surprisingly, the biggest expense is food, the cost of which has been exacerbated by inflation, rising fuel costs and lingering supply chain issues that caused a cascade effect during the pandemic. Everything from sourcing metal for cat food tins to meat availability was impacted as ports were closed and meat processing plants were shuttered at various points since early 2020.
An unrelated estimate from OnePoll, based on a survey commissioned by pet food company Solid Gold, put the lifetime estimate of cat servitude at $25,304. Like the Motley Fool analysis, OnePoll’s respondents cited food as the primary expense, followed by veterinary care.
The wide range from the Motley Fool analysis could be attributable to geography, how well the cat is fed, and how many extra things caretakers do for their cats. A person who lives in Manhattan, splurges on bespoke feline furniture and buys ultra-premium cat food at almost $3 a can is going to spend significantly more than an eastern European cat servant who feeds raw or home-cooked food and builds their own ledge loungers and scratching apparatus.
“Welcome to Teh Bank of Kitteh, you may make a deposit but not withdraw!” Credit: @catsandmoney/Twitter
Here in New York the cost of cat food in local grocery stores has spiked dramatically, but online prices have remained steady. Keeping in mind we’ve never really endorsed any particular brand or vendor on PITB, I switched from occasionally buying food online to Chewy auto-shipments during the pandemic because Bud’s favorite food was becoming very difficult to find locally, and that arrangement has worked out cost-wise as well.
Bud’s a true Pain In The Bud when it comes to “leftovers” so his primary wet food is Sheba Perfect Portions. It’s reasonably priced, comes in variety packs and helps avoid waste since each meal comes in its own 1.3oz recyclable blister-like plastic package. (Recycling is especially important with these single-serve packages, tiny as they are.) His dry food is Blue Buffalo Wilderness Adult Chicken recipe, although occasionally I’ll buy the weight control version of the same dry food when it looks like Little Man has gotten a bit chubby. He doesn’t protest, thankfully.
I feed him two 1.3oz wet meals a day and fill his dry bowl less than halfway at night so he can have his late snack and doesn’t have to wake me up if and when he gets hungry overnight. Sometimes I’m dimly aware of him sliding off me, padding over to his little dining nook and munching on dry food before hopping back onto the bed and dozing off again.
Overall it works out to about $21 a month, so I’d call it an even $25 with treats. You can schedule your auto-ship at any interval you choose, edit it at any time, and prompt the shipment immediately if you’re running out of food, so you can save more by ordering a few months’ worth of food at a time and taking advantage of free shipping on orders of more than $50.
Has inflation impacted cat food prices in your local area? How much does it cost to feed your cat(s) every month?
Hey! Unhand me, human! Did I say you could assault my cheeks and ears?!?
