Whether you’re staying home on Valentine’s Day or spending it with your longtime significant other, there’s reason to celebrate with this special Valentine’s Day message from Little Buddy.
Lounging like the Fabio of cats, locking onto the camera with his soulful green eyes, Buddy embodies the romantic aspect of the holiday.
Valentine’s Day With Buddy the Cat
Already a major heartthrob to felines all over the world, Buddy is guaranteed to set human hearts fluttering as well with his meowscular good looks and remarkable charm.
Gaze upon this Adonis of Cats, ye mighty, and tremble!
Buddy the Cupid!
And finally, if you already have enough little buddies in your life, Buddy the Cupid will help you find your significant other…for a nominal fee of canned turkey pate and only during hours not designated for nap time, of course.
Dissatisfied with the limited variety of flavors and textures in his regular meal rotation, Buddy the Cat unveiled a sweeping new sanctions package designed to force his human to do better.
NEW YORK — Angry over his servant’s failure to broaden his selection of regular meals, Buddy the Cat announced new sanctions on Saturday aimed at forcing the uncooperative human to comply.
“President Buddy feels he’s been patient and magnanimous in dealing with his human’s shortcomings, but even a saint’s patience has limits,” Buddy’s spokesman told reporters. “This new sanctions package clearly communicates President Buddy’s disappointment and ensures swift compliance.”
The sanctions include prohibitive measures against sleep duration and quality, with Buddy promising to yowl at regular intervals and to wake his human by slapping him in the face every morning.
In addition, affection will be cut by 50 percent, increasing to 75 percent within two weeks if there is no improvement in the variety of flavors and textures of wet food served to Buddy.
“Buddy has made it clear that he expects more than a simple rotation of turkey, chicken and salmon pate,” the feline’s spokesman said. “He wants chunky tuna, he wants beef, he wants shredded duck served in gravy.”
President Buddy had threatened to pull his ambassadors and enact legislation declaring all shoes, sneakers and boots as legal litter boxes if the cheese sharing protocol was not observed. Credit: Wikimedia Commons
The latest round of sanctions follows the Buddesian Diplomatic Crisis of 2023, when Buddy threatened to begin using his Big Buddy’s shoes, boots and sneakers as litter boxes in retaliation for the latter failing to “equitably share cheese as per article IV, sub-clause C of the gastronomic distribution protocol.”
All-out war was avoided when both parties agreed that Little Buddy’s share of Gouda, American, provolone and other cheeses, excluding ricotta, feta and mozzarella, would be increased by 15 percent.
The feline laid waste to entire restaurants and food stalls during his rampage through the city, sending residents running for cover.
NEW YORK — The island of Manhattan was brought to a standstill this week after a massive and menacing wildcat was seen stalking the streets.
The first reports came in Wednesday afternoon after panicked callers told 911 dispatchers a “yuge gray tiger” had barreled into Gray’s Papaya on Broadway and 72nd, gorging itself on the eatery’s famous hot dogs.
Social media posts timestamped an hour later showed clips of the terrifying felid running full speed toward an Atomic Wings, where it tore through the entire inventory of chicken and hamburgers.
“Holy [bleep], that’s not a tiger, that’s a kaiju!” one TikTok user said in a video uploaded to the popular social media site.
The TikToker’s footage showed the gargantuan cat emerge from the Atomic Wings, hot sauce dribbling down the fur on its chin, and belch with such force that car alarms began shrieking in a three-block radius.
“We’re receiving reports that the colossal cat’s name is Buddy, and he escaped earlier Wednesday from an apartment where some lunatic was illegally keeping him as a pet,” Fox News’ Brett Baier told viewers. “A law enforcement source says the man has been taken into custody as a person of interest, and will likely face charges of harboring a dangerous wild animal.”
Detectives were seen escorting the cuffed man, who screamed incoherently that Buddy is allegedly “just a house cat.”
“He invented a laser that increased his size 70 fold!” the deranged man shouted as news cameras followed the detectives from the squad car. “He’s a wimp! Rustle a paper bag! Bring out a vacuum! You’ll see!”
New York Mayor Eric Adams dismissed the man’s claims as “the rantings of a clearly insane person,” and assured residents that the so-called Buddinese tiger would be “swiftly caught and dealt with by the brave men and women of the NYPD.”
“You’ll be able to make your dinner reservations, folks,” Adams said as an interpreter translated his words into American sign language behind him. “In the meantime, keep your doors and windows locked, and don’t cook anything pungent. This is a hungry beast who has eaten his way through dozens of restaurants.”
Police had set up a trap in midtown, with more than 900 pounds of roast turkey and baseball-size Temptations to lure the rampaging tiger.
The ill-fated turkey trap.
But the plan went horribly wrong on Thursday evening when the tiger approached.
“This beast is truly gargantuan!” ABC reporter Stephan Kim whispered during a live broadcast. “Each footfall seems to shake the earth. Look! The concrete is cracking and spidering beneath his paws as if it were brittle ice!”
The Buddinese Tiger stopped, sniffed, then launched himself at the pile of turkey, not even registering the tranquilizer darts fired by NYPD snipers stationed on top of nearby buildings until one hit him in the buttock.
The vicious cat roared and looked as if he would take down the building where the offending officer stood until he was distracted by the smell of Peruvian food wafting from a nearby Pio Pio.
“Arroz chaufa!” the tiger yelled, turning his enormous frame and stomping off into the distance.
City leaders admitted they’d underestimated the threat and had officially requested the National Guard, which was being mobilized late Thursday evening.
But an NYPD detective, speaking on condition of anonymity, said authorities were beginning to reconsider the claim that the rampaging animal could be a house cat.
“One of our officers called him a ‘good boy’ in a last, desperate attempt to save his own life when he was cornered by the beast,” the detective said. “To his surprise, the tiger pounced on him, licked his face, then went on his way, repeating ‘I’m a good boy!’ Maybe there’s some truth to this claim about the size-increasing laser.”
Rep. Marjorie Taylor-Greene of Georgia siezed on the story, posting a message on X claiming credit for “warnin’ ya’ll about these space lasers.”
“One of these lasers has turned a cuddly little house cat into a terrifying tiger,” Greene wrote. “So who’s a conspiracy theorist now?”
Cats of all kinds are at risk of avian flu infection if they hunt birds outdoors, consume raw meat or drink unpasteurized milk.
In a tragedy that underscores how vulnerable cats of all types are to bird flu, more than half the big cats residing at a sanctuary in Washington were killed by the virus in less than a month.
Twenty cats in total died at the Wild Felid Advocacy Center, including five servals, four bobcats, two Canada lynx and a Bengal tiger.
Only 17 cats are left at the sanctuary, according to its operators.
Mark Matthews, the sanctuary director, called the H5N1 avian influenza a “wicked virus” that killed the cats in his organization’s care within 24 hours of each animal contracting it.
“We’ve never had anything like this,” Matthews said, adding that he and his staff are accustomed to cats in their care dying of old age after living long, happy lives.
In California, Gov. Gavin Newsom declared a state of emergency on Dec. 18 after infected birds were found at more than two thirds of the state’s dairy producers.
California’s dairy industry has been hit hard by the spread of bird flu, with more than half the state’s dairy producers impacted. Credit: Ralf R/Pexels
As of Dec. 26, bird flu had infected 65 Americans, the majority in California.
And the virus has now resulted in its first pet food recall, with Northwest Naturals pulling its turkey recipe “raw diet” food. A cat in Oregon died after consuming the food, according to the Oregon Agriculture Department.
As we noted in our earlier post about the variant of avian influenza, there’s no reason to panic. Even if you live on the west coast, the chances of your cats being infected are small.
But it’s probably a good idea to make sure your cats remain indoors, as health authorities warn cats can contract the virus directly by catching and eating birds. In one case, health officials believe three indoor cats may have caught the virus after killing mice in their home.
In addition, the American Veterinary Medical Association advises caretakers to avoid giving their cats milk, which they should not be drinking anyway, and raw meat. Domestic cats are generally lactose intolerant, and while cats can be infected with bird flu by eating raw poultry, they can also contract the virus by eating raw meat from other animals.
Now you can celebrate Buddy in your own home or office with our beautiful hand-painted figurines from The Buddinese Miniatures Collection!
A common refrain we’ve heard since we’ve launched PITB is “We can’t get enough of Buddy! We want more Buddy!”
In addition to our upcoming Buddacious T-Shirts™ line of Budswear apparel, we’re proud to announce these beautifully sculpted, limited edition decorative figurines, part of The Buddinese Miniatures Collection. Each piece is hand-painted and numbered, and would make a handsome addition to any display in your home or office.
Forget Hummels, vintage toys and boring artwork — there’s a snazzy new way to decorate your home that’ll allow you to show off your great taste in felines!
Turkey Feast
The Buddy Collection First Edition 001: Turkey Feast
This beautiful figurine will improve any mantle or shelf of collectibles! Be the envy of your friends with “Turkey Feast,” the inaugural figurine in The Buddinese Miniatures Collection’s First Edition. Featuring an adorable Buddy with his favorite food in the world. ($39.95 + S&H)
Gym Cat
Buddy is as well known for his ripped and meowscular physique as he is for his charm, wit and handsome visage. This gorgeously rendered figurine shows the Budster getting his reps in and working the meowscles that made him an icon across the globe! ($64.95 + S&H)
Warrior of Legend
Buddy: Warrior of Legend from the First Edition
Feline. Bodybuilder. Handsome rogue. Fearless warrior. The Buddinese Miniatures Collection is proud to present First Edition figurine #003, Warrior of Legend. ($65.95 + S&H)
Big Baller
Buddy leads a fast break down the court in this exquisite figure.
During his stint as the starting point guard for the New York Knicks during the 2016-2017 season, Buddy the Cat averaged 19.7 points, 8.2 assists, 0.7 rebounds and 5.5 steals while shooting a sizzling 53 percent from the field, leading the team to its first payoff berth in years. This handsome hand-painted figurine captures Buddy in mid-stride during a fast break, pushing the ball up the court. Will he stop short to drain a three-pointer, find an open man beneath the basket or drive the lane for a thunderous dunk? ($49.95 + S&H)
Bend the Knee
Bend the Knee: King Buddy strikes a regal pose atop an ornate throne.
Most people know Buddy is a beloved former president of the Americats who balanced the budget, increased the nutritional value and portion size of wet food and presided over an era of unprecedented peace and prosperity, but did you know Buddy’s ancestors were kings? It’s no wonder the little guy cuts such a regal and commanding figure atop his gilded throne. Bend the knee to this kingly tabby! ($74.95 S+H)
Caribbean Breeze
What could be better than lounging beneath an umbrella on a pristine beach amid palm trees, with sparkling blue ocean as far as they eye can see? Hanging out with Buddy on a pristine beach amid palm trees on the sparkling blue ocean, of course! This figurine comes with an accompanying diorama of heaven on Earth, so you can imagine yourself on vacation with Buddy himself! ($79.95 + S&H)
Stay tuned for the upcoming release of The Buddinese Miniatures Collection’s Second Edition, which will feature even more stunning figurines of everyone’s favorite feline!
Turkey Currency Exchange Rate:
We accept turkey in lieu of cash! The current exchange rate is 1.227 cans per $1USD, so a limited edition Buddy figurine valued at $49.95, for example, can be purchased for the low price of 61.28 cans of turkey pate. We also accept shredded turkey and turkey in gravy, although Buddy warns collectors that Kirkland Signature is not an acceptable form of currency.
Pain In The Bud 