Category: cat food

Buddy Thinks This Treat Is A Toy

Cats love ’em, they said. It’ll be a great bonding experience, they said. You’ll have to stop your cat from eating too much, they said.

I had high hopes for the “squeeze” treats and was looking forward to getting home and giving Buddy a snack he hadn’t had before.

The problem? The Budster cannot get it through his stubborn little head that the squeeze treats are food.

He thinks they’re some sort of toy and every time I try to give him some, he head bunts the lickable chicken paste like it’s something he’s claiming with his scent, along with his plushies and wands.

After wiping the stuff off the top of his head for the umpteenth time, I squeezed a little bit of it on a paper towel and set it down for him, reasoning that he must finally understand it’s food.

Nope. Bud approached it, sniffed it, then dipped his face in it!

Bud praying
“Please grant me turkey, so that I might eat more delicious yums!”

I’m not sure if this result means the stuff is so processed it doesn’t register as food, or if Bud’s just dense. After all, other cats love it, and we’re talking about a cat who whose idiosyncratic behaviors range from folding both front paws together and raising them as if in prayer, to spending months in late kittenhood engaging in boxing matches with the Bizarro Buddy in the mirror.

(I always knew when Bud was participating in a boxing match because I’d hear “Mmmmrrrrppp!” followed by THWAP THWAP THWAP! as his little paws hammered the glass. Then I’d gently pick him up off the table and set him down on the floor, praising him for his pugilistic skills while redirecting him to a less potentially destructive activity.)

Maybe I’ll try mixing some of the paste in with Bud’s wet food. Will he understand if it’s served with his beloved turkey? Or will be smoosh his entire face into the bowl and leave me with another mess to clean up?

Stay tuned until the next installment, same Buddy time, same Buddy channel!

Happy Thanksturkey from Buddy the Cat!

Dear Readers,

Today is a most wonderful day! Sadly I am NOT invited to my family’s Thanksgiving festivities, since there are dogs there, and Big Buddy’s relatives are worried that I would intimidate those canine snowflakes with my sleek feline musculature and imposing presence. Also, one of them claims to be “allergic” to me, which I find curious. What is this person “allergic” to, charm, wit and handsomeness?

Despite my unfair exile during the day, I try to look on the bright side, because I know Big Buddy will come home with thick slices of delicious home-cooked turkey, just for me! Then he cuts it into little Buddy-size pieces! Then I eat it!

Big Buddy, as you may know, stopped eating meat in 2015 not long after adopting me, because he saw how I wear my emotions on my paw and realized I’m, like, super duper smart. So he stopped eating animals, even though sometimes he threatens to sell me to Szechuan Garden for $15 when I don’t let him sleep. So there’s never any meat in the house besides my food. But on Thanksturkey Day I get more turkey than at any other time of year, and it’s glorious, fresh turkey! Mmmmmm mmmmm!

I love turkey. Have I told you guys that before?

roasted turkey on wooden tray
Credit: Monstera/Pexels

Anyway, I hope all of you enjoy your Turkey Days with your own families, and I hope you aren’t cruel like Big Buddy’s extended family and exclude your cats from the festivities in favor of dogs. Although to be honest it’s not that bad, because I get to nap all day and dream of turkey, and then I wake up to turkey.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Your friend,

Buddy the Cat

buddyportrait_hires

Cats File Discrimination Suit After Ben & Jerry’s Releases Ice Cream For Dogs

WASHINGTON – A new lawsuit accuses Ben & Jerry’s of “blatant, systematic discrimination” after the company released a line of ice cream and frozen treats for dogs, but not for cats.

“Felines around the world are understandably hurt and feeling betrayed by Ben and Jerry right now,” the public interest group Cats’ Rights And Protection (CRAP) said in a statement. “Not only are these supposedly ‘good boy’ canines a bunch of frauds, but now they get to enjoy ice cream and delicious frozen treats like their humans, while we cats are relegated to eating the same cardboard-tasting dry treats and the admittedly juicy — but not frozen — meat sticks we’ve always had.”

Ben & Jerry's Doggie Desserts
Seriously?

The cat advocacy group, which lobbies for more favorable policies toward all felids, big and small, said Ben and Jerry’s oversight is “part of a larger, societal problem of viewing cats as second-class citizens who either don’t understand or don’t care that we’re getting the short end of the stick.”

“We’re not stupid,” the CRAP statement said. “We know an inferior snack when we see it, and it’s obvious Ben & Jerry are biased in favor of those mangy dogs.”

Meowsiharu Morimoto, the Iron Chef of the feline world, called on other ice cream makers to step in and correct the Vermont ice cream maker’s offensive errors.

“It’s long been obvious to anyone in the feline culinary world that our options for desserts and digestifs have been woefully inadequate,” the Japanese cat said. “Does anyone think of us cats? Does no one ever wonder ‘Shouldn’t cats get into enjoy yummy, palate-cleansing ice cream after feasting on fish and poultry?’ The lack of consideration is criminal! Shame on you, Jerry and Ben!”

Ice Cream for Cats?
*sniff* “Nom noms?”

Another door to the exclusive world of tasty desserts seemed to be closed to cats on Tuesday when a large group of feline demonstrators was discouraged by Cookies and Cream, a cat who counts the Häagen-Dazs founders among her humans.

“We hear you and we see your signs,” Cookies told the crowd. “But we’re not really nebulously Nordic masters of delicious frozen delicacies. Häagen-Dazs doesn’t actually mean anything. It’s complete nonsense! My human is from the Bronx. He just made Häagen-Dazs up, thinking that if Americans saw his ice cream as vaguely Norwegian or Danish, they’d think it was quality stuff and would be willing to pay a premium. Well, they do, and we’re rich, bitches!”

The Ice Cream Makers of America, in an attempt to quell the controversy, issued a statement of its own.

“Cats: You’re lactose intolerant! You can’t take two licks without getting brain freeze! You just aren’t a market for ice cream, sorry,” the statement read.

Note: It turns out there is an ice cream for cats, or more accurately an icy fish-flavored treat intended to cool kitties down on hot summer days. Has anyone given it to their cat? And yes, cats are lactose intolerant, so we shouldn’t give ice cream to our cat(s) no matter how many people on Youtube think it’s amusing.


California Shelter Is Out Of Cats: Adoptions At Record Highs

A shelter in Orange County, California, reached a milestone on Monday after it adopted out the very last of its cats.

“It’s really weird. We have five rooms for cats to roam free, and they’re all empty,” WAGS Pet Adoption’s Cortney Dorney told the Orange County Register. “Normally, we hang out with the cats while we eat our lunch, and now there’s none to hang out with.”

A brown and white tabby named Sphinx was the last kitty to go, scoring a home with a 27-year-old IT specialist who works from home. When he found out all the others were gone, adopter Jairo Granado said he was “glad to be the one who ended up with” Sphinx.

Staffers say they know the reprieve will be short-lived as there are always cats who need homes, but what they’ve seen reflects a much larger trend across the US and UK since the pandemic began forcing people to shelter in place and practice social distancing.

Shelters are setting new adoption records, and in some areas the “supply” of adoptable cats and dogs currently exceeds demand.

“It’s a great time to have a buddy in the house,” Dorney said.

And it’s a great time for buddies to find homes.

Unfortunately, the unprecedented surge in adoption is also a major factor in the pet food shortages currently impacting both countries now. A lack of materials to manufacture cat food packaging, especially tins, is making it more difficult for brands to meet demand for wet food, and disruptions to links in the supply chain — like COVID outbreaks in meat packing plants — are exacerbating the problem.

Companies like Royal Canin, FreshPet and Purina have either apologized or have tried to ease concerns by saying they believe the shortage will ease in May.

Stories about the shortages have me glad I started rotating as many different kinds of food as possible when Buddy was a kitten, so he’d never get picky enough to pass up food as long as it’s decent quality. Some people and their cats haven’t been so lucky.

One story details the frustrations of a Massachusetts man, 49-year-old David Saltz, whose cat Tiger will only eat one type of food from one brand: Fancy Feast Classic Tender Beef Paté.

“I tried literally every other variety of soft canned cat food in the store — including a few cans of some way overpriced, niche, microbrew, small-batch, all-natural, wild-animal-approved, non-GMO, grass-fed (did I mention ridiculously overpriced?) canned food,” Saltz told AARP. “Almost all were turned down. Only occasionally would she eat a bit of a particular flavor, and I would go buy more of that kind, but she was having none of it.”

Bud’s always got a rotation, and it usually looks something like this: Turkey, chicken, salmon, turkey, tuna, beef, turkey, seafood entree, chicken and liver, turkey, and so on. The Buddy-approved ratio is turkey every third meal. And it’s not just about making sure he eats his food: He seems to really enjoy his meals thanks to the variety and good quality (but not outrageously expensive) cat food.

Buddy’s Solution To National Cat Food Shortage

Dear Friends,

It has come to my attention that our human servants are experiencing unprecedented difficulty in locating and purchasing canned cat food, commonly known as yums, due to Coronavirus-related warehouse and logistical challenges.

The companies that make yums have had facilities intermittently closed due to COVID breakouts, leading to shortages which have been compounded by the logistical problems as delivery systems are already overwhelmed.

There can be only one solution to this most serious of problems: Humans must share their food!

Effective immediately, I call on all humans to share their yums with us, and no skimping!

If you’re having filet mignon for dinner, Fluffy better get some too. I would also urge every one of you to increase your turkey consumption, setting aside generous portions for your feline overlords.

Not only is turkey delicious, but it increases the body’s immune response to viruses like COVID-19, according to the Buddy Center for Scientific Research. (This statement has not been evaluated by the FDA.)

Do the right thing, humans. Share your food!

Your friend,
Buddy the Cat

Look at da yums
“Look at it. So juicy and delicious…”