Pain In The Bud

Los Gatos Seek More Discreet Couriers After Cat Caught Carrying Crack Into Costa Rican Prison

Los Gatos’ position in the illegal catnip market has become precarious in the wake of a federal raid and the arrest of a courier. Meanwhile, an old rival threatens to fill the power vacuum…

LOS GATOS, Calif. — Los Gatos, the premier purveyor of fine catnip and narcotics to the feline world, is looking for discreet, professional couriers following a recent setback in Costa Rica.

A Gatos courier was caught sneaking into Pococi Penitentiary on the night of May 22. The feline, a novice smuggler, was having difficulty navigating around a section of fence topped by razor wire when guards at the prison spotted and intercepted the kitty.

Correction officers captured the courier and found 2.4 ounces of crack-cocaine and eight ounces of marijuana wrapped tightly in plastic and taped to her body.

Under questioning, the narco feline admitted she was conducting a delivery for Los Gatos, creating legal troubles for the US-based nipcotics collective. It’s the biggest setback for Los Gatos since its 2022 war with another catnip cartel led to 14 cats getting sprayed in a drive-by urinating, an infamous incident known as the Tragedy of Tijuana.

Earlier this week, federal agents raided a Gatos compound, seizing an estimated $2.1 million in high-grade catnip and other nipcotics, the Drug Enforcement Agency said.

News footage showed several cats in handcuffs bundled into black SUVs while drug-sniffing dogs smirked.

“You’d better wipe that smirk off your face, holmes!” one Gatos lieutenant shouted at the canines, hissing out the words.

The raid and courier arrest have left Los Gatos with significantly less product — and fewer methods of delivery.

“The courier will be dealt with, as will those mangy mutts,” Los Gatos spokescat Pawblo Escobar said ominously. “In the meantime, we have customers who rely on us for timely deliveries of high-quality catnip and drugs, and Los Gatos has a reputation to uphold.”

Industry insiders say Buddy the Cat has been quick to fill the void. The longtime Gatos archrival reactivated long-dormant channels and has expanded his territory from his power base in New York.

“Buddy the Cat has the muscle, quite literally, to go paw to paw with Los Gatos and the other cartels,” said Felix Finch, a criminologist at John Jay College of Criminal Justice in Manhattan. “But obviously this isn’t a one-cat operation, which is why it’s fortuitous that Buddy has been establishing ties with the jaguars and forming a coalition with other big cats. Can Los Gatos withstand the combined might of Buddy and big cats? That’s the question on every feline’s mind right now.”

Buddy The Cat: ‘The Only Limit Is Your Imeowgination!’

Buddy the Cat explores deep within the heart of the Amazon jungle, where he encounters foul and hostile creatures!

Today we present Buddy the Cat in an Amazonian Adventure, brought to you by the Center for Greater Buddesian Propaganda.

“The Center for Greater Buddesian Propaganda: Documenting The Achievement’s Of Earth’s Most Interesting And Ripped Feline, One Legend At A Time”

Today’s adventure finds our hero returning to the jungle to commune with the ancient jaguar spirits and eat turkey with his jaguar buddies.

The lesson: The only limit is your imeowgination. You’re as brave, meowscular and ripped as you imagine yourself to be. Or, at least Buddy is. YMMV.

Happy Sunday!

Bangkok Police ‘Arrest’ Cute But Aggressive Feline, Plus: Accused Serial Cat Killer A No-Show In Court

Police used the kitty’s mugshot to reunite her with her family. Meanwhile, a judge in California has issued a warrant for a man accused of murdering dozens of cats in his neighborhood.

When a kind passerby scooped up a lost cat and brought her to a nearby police station in Bangkok last week, police were happy to help reunite her with her family.

But the cat, whom they later learned is named Nub Tang (“Counting Money”) wasn’t particularly happy about being rescued, and she tried to chomp down on several officers who were trying to help her.

So a lieutenant who goes by the name Inspector Da online devised a novel way of making the best of the situation and reuniting Nub Tang with her family.

The Inspector “arrested” and “booked” Nub Tang on charges of assaulting an officer. He took a mugshot of the grumpy shorthair and took her paw prints, then posted them online.

The amusing images and story helped draw attention to the post, and the next day, after Inspector Da had taken Nub Tang home with him overnight to make sure she was comfortable and felt safe, Nub Tang’s humans saw the posts and contacted the precinct.

Inspector Da — real name Parinda Yukol Pakeesuk — happily handed the feisty feline back to her people, but not before posing for some photos with them and saying goodbye to his temporary pal.

Warrant issued for alleged cat killer who didn’t show for court

A California man accused of killing dozens of cats skipped out on his initial court appearance.

Police in Santa Ana arrested 45-year-old Alejandro Oliveros Acosta in April after media pressure prompted them to finally take reports of a cat killer seriously.

Neighbors had been lodging complaints and asking police to act for more than a year after pets and strays went missing. Acosta and his white pickup truck were captured on several doorbell cameras and home security cams, including one that caught a clear view of him allegedly luring and abducting a neighbor’s pet cat.

After their complaints failed to prompt action from police, people in the neighborhood turned to local media, sharing footage and information.

A local TV news report finally cranked up pressure on the cops, who arrested Acosta in late April. A search of Acosta’s home turned up the bodies of deceased neighborhood cats and evidence that Acosta had allegedly killed “dozens” of felines, a Santa Ana police spokeswoman said.

Acosta didn’t show up for a May 21 preliminary hearing. Now police are looking for him and the court has issued a warrant for his arrest.

The Santa Ana man previously posted $40,000 bail, money he will forfeit if he remains a scofflaw.

RIDICULOUS! History Repeats As The Knicks Lose In The Most Knicks Way Imaginable

Thirty years after the Knicks suffered one of the most humiliating losses in basketball history, it happened again…

The image of Reggie Miller running up and down the court at Madison Square Garden, both hands around his own neck, gleefully screeching “Chokers! Chokers!” is indelibly burned into my brain.

It was May 7, 1995. The Knicks were leading the Indiana Pacers by six points with 18.7 seconds to go. The game was essentially over.

Even though Miller was an excellent shooter, a three-pointer would still leave the Pacers short and the Knicks with a win in the Eastern Conference Finals.

What happened next is still hard to believe all these years later.

Miller hit a three pointer, stole the ball on the inbound pass, bolted back behind the three-point line and hit another three-pointer, tying the game. After two missed free throws and a missed shot by the Knicks, Miller was fouled, made two free throws, and the Pacers won the game.

Miller had just scored 8 points in 8.9 seconds, a feat widely considered impossible, to turn a six-point deficit into a two-point win.

This was the kind of thing that might happen in a video game, not real life.

As a young Knicks fan, I was devastated. Kids raged the next morning as we gathered before the first bell at school. Miller was public enemy number one.

That was 30 years ago, or 10,972 days if you prefer.

Tonight, with Miller calling the game from the broadcast booth, the Knicks and Pacers met once again for game one of the Eastern Conference Finals at Madison Square Garden, just like they did 30 years ago.

New York had a 14-point lead with about two and a half minutes to go. Victory was assured.

Then the Pacers came storming back with three pointer after three pointer, cutting the lead to two. With seconds left on the game clock, the Pacers’ Tyrese Haliburton launched a three pointer, which bounced off the rim high into the air…and came down clean through the hoop.

you cannot make this up.

the basket to tie it from Tyrese Haliburton and force OT. pic.twitter.com/xqT7gKwmuO
— Indiana Pacers (@Pacers) May 22, 2025

Just like Miller had three decades ago, Haliburton ran the court at MSG with his hands around his neck, yelling “Chokers!”

It was deja vu. It was a nightmare.

As “luck” would have it, Haliburton’s toe was on the three-point line, rendering his basket a two-pointer that sent the game to overtime.

The crowd tried to rally the Knicks and broke into chants of “F— you, Reggie!” as if to ward off a repeat of history. It didn’t matter. Indiana had all the momentum, and the stunned Knicks couldn’t hold on despite a combined 78 points from the Knicks’ Jalen Brunson and Karl-Anthony Towns.

Absolutely brutal. To rub salt in the wound, my cousins gleefully texted me with taunts like “Oh, the pain of it all!” A small text group consisting of me, my brother and one of our closest childhood friends turned somber. We couldn’t believe this was happening again.

Haliburton, top, and Miller, both mocked the Knicks after improbable wins 30 years apart.

I don’t usually blog about sports, but I feel like I have to release some of this pent up energy. I’d already showered treats upon Bud in celebration and had just given him catnip during a commercial break. We were playing a wand toy game. The mood was jubilant, then it wasn’t. I’m sure little man was confused, but he knows I wasn’t upset at him. Besides, I laughed at how absurd the whole situation was.

After the game, Charles Barkley, legend of the court and the booth, summed up his feelings after watching the ridiculous spectacle: “We get to watch this for our jobs. We’re the luckiest guys on Earth.”

He’s right, although as a lifelong Knicks fan, I don’t feel particularly lucky right now. Let’s hope Lady Luck finally smiles upon a franchise that hasn’t won a damn thing in 50 years and the Knicks turn tonight into nothing more than a bad memory en route to the NBA Finals.

The series, and the rivalry, resumes Friday night at 8 p.m. Whichever team wins the seven-game series will go on to the NBA Finals.

El Capitan, also known as Captain Clutch and The Maestro: Jalen Brunson had 43 points tonight, but it wasn’t enough.

Hart and Soul of the Knicks, Josh Hart, pulled down 13 rebounds and dished out 7 assists in game one of the Eastern Conference Finals.

Wordless Wednesday: A Feline Of Many Talents

Buddy has worn many hats in his time, literally and figuratively. He’s a good boy!

In 2019, Buddy was called up to the Yankees from AAA Scranton in place of the injured Giancarlo Stanton. Batting behind team captain Aaron Judge, Buddy hit a terrific .328 with 117 runs, while his jersey became the top seller in the team’s official store.

In 2015, Buddy was promoted to the rank of sergeant (E-5) in the US Marine Corps, where he served as a drill instructor at Marine Corps Recruit Depot on Parris Island, South Carolina. A tough but fair DI, Buddy churned out some of the Corps’ finest Marines while pioneering new hand-to-paw combat techniques.

In 1627, Buddy ascended the Phoenix Throne of the Joseon dynasty, earning him the title “Jeonha,” or king. Jeonha Buddy led Joseon through a period of post-war turmoil and into recovery while also establishing trade eastward with a previously-unknown culture that raised a magnificent bird known as turkey.