An old enemy lies in wait in the far reaches of the galaxy, ready to exact revenge on the most dashing, clever and dashingly clever captain in Starfleet!
ALPHA QUADRANT, Milky Way Galaxy — Captain Buddy is back for his most thrilling, treacherous and scrumptious adventure yet!
As the commanding officer of the USS Fowl Play and a legend within the galactic community, Captain Buddy and his trusty crew get the call to investigate reports of the malevolent Borg raiding colonies on the edge of Federation space.
Our intrepid captain arrives just in time to fend off a Borg cube attacking Dawn’s Edge, one of the largest colonies on the Felinian Rim. After mounting a heroic defense and defeating the diabolical enemy spacecraft, brave Captain Buddy discovers the Borg weren’t just trying to assimilate the peaceful Caitians living in the colony: they were after the colonist’s turkey, tuna and dilithium reserves as well!
With reinforcements several days away, Captain Buddy is tasked with defending the colony, reassuring terrified colonists, and managing a dwindling supply of sandwiches and snacks…
Buddy’s browser history provides a window into the depraved mind of everyone’s 683rd favorite feline named Buddy.
Monday, June 9, 2025:
Google search, 6.56am: oh zempic
Google search, 6:57am: ozempic
Wikipedia: Ozempic (pharmaceutical), 7:02am
Google search, 7:07am: ozempic 4 cars
Google search, 7:07am: ozempic 4 cats
Google search, 7:12am: why no ozempic 4 cats?
Pain In The Bud: Latest Stories, 7:44am
Pain In The Bud: Submit Comment: “LIES!!! BUDDY WOULD NEVAR RUN FROM A MOUSES! WHO WRITES THIS RAG?!?”, 7:49am
Google search, 2:33pm: how to get human to give more snax
Google search, 3:11am: hot calico
Google search, 3:14am: sexy calico
Google search, 3:21am: sexy calico new York area
Wednesday, June 11, 2025
Google search, 4:12pm: when do cats get growth spurt
Google search, 4:12pm: when do cats grow into tigers
Google search, 4:15pm: tiger meowscle workout
Thursday, June 12, 2025:
Google search, 1:03pm: turkey
Google search, 1:14pm: turkey
Wikipedia: Turkiye (country)
KFC.com: Order Online, 2:22pm
KFC.com: Colonel’s Original Recipe Bucket, 2:23pm
KFC.com: Confirm Your Order
Friday, June 13, 2025
Google search, 7:16pm: fursat the 13
Google search, 7:16pm: Friday the 13th
Wikipedia: Friday the 13th (film), 7:16pm
Google search, 7;21pm: is jason real?
Google search, 8:16pm: how 2 make human lay on couch
Google search, 8:19pm: how 2 lure human to couch
Google search, 8:23pm: 2nd best thing besides human to sleep on
Google search, 8:29pm: how 2 make human obey
Google search, 8:30pm: r humans stupid?
Google search, 8:44pm: stoopid sport ppl stand in field
Google search, 8:47pm: stoopid sport ppl stand in field and one guy waves stick try to hit ball
Wikipedia: Baseball, 8:52pm
A cat who ran onto the field at Yankee Stadium during a Yankees-Oriolesgame on Aug. 2, 2021. Since the feline, dubbed “rally cat” by the fans, interrupted the game, the Orioles endured a miserable stretch, losing 19 games in a row, while the Yankees went 18-3, including an 11-game win streak. Credit: Bronx Times
Google search, 10:15pm: buddy
Google search, 10:15pm: buddy the cat
Google search, 10:16pm: other buddy the cat
Google search, 10:17 pm: other buddy the cat famous
Google search, 10:19pm: FAMOUS BUDDY THE CAT
Famous Felines: A Site Dedicated To The Biggest Cat Celebrities On The Internet, 10:26pm
A new story from CNN examines how friendship with animals can enhance our spiritual lives.
If you ask Bud, I’m sure he’d agree that merely having the privilege of being friends with him is akin to a transcendental experience.
“Yes, human, by stroking my fur, you are brushing up against the divine!” he’d probably say. “Now make a proper offering, and don’t skimp out on me. I want the good snacks!”
The massive ego of my cat aside, some theologians and spiritualists say we’re in the midst of a “Great Pet Awakening,” with more people than ever welcoming animals into their homes, treating them like family, and coming to profound realizations by bonding with them.
Our pets can help us come to grips with our own mortality, amplify our own spiritual lives and even help us heal, they say. Some of it’s nebulous, including a Pew poll that found most Americans believe pets are imbued with some sort of vague supernatural energy, and some of it’s tangible, like studies that have found cat purring has a calming effect on people as well as cats.
If you’re interested in reading more, CNN’s story on the “awakening” quotes a Canadian theologian and author, a Buddhist, and, tragically, a “psychic medium.” In true grief vampire style, the latter says “pet psychics” can offer people “a chance to hear personalized messages from their pets in the Great Beyond.”
“Now leave the snack, bow, and retreat until I call for you again. That’s a good human.”
I don’t like thinking about a time when Bud will be gone, but when that day comes, if I encounter a “pet psychic” who tells me Bud sends his love and appreciation from the afterlife, it’ll reinforce my dim view of self-proclaimed mediums. If, however, the “psychic” tells me that Bud is still miffed about the times dinner was late, or he’s annoyed that I’ve adopted another cat who has inherited his toys, I’ll change my tune!
In any case, I think there’s one hugely important thing the CNN story does not touch on. It focuses on the way pets benefit people, but perhaps the most profound gift our animals give us — if we’re open to it — is a new appreciation for them, and what a miracle they are.
It’s 2025, but surprisingly, there are lots of people who are still stuck in a pre-cognitive revolution mindset, viewing animals as little more than biological automatons. They deny animal cognition, emotions and agency, as if B.F. Skinner and behaviorism remain the credible model. To do that, you’d have to ignore more than sixty years’ worth of research proving our furry friends have their own rich internal lives, their own thoughts and feelings.
Buddy’s ego may be slightly inflated.
That, to me, is one of the great things about cats. If I was a merely adequate servant, the Budster would take the free meals, the shelter and the warm bed, and ignore me until he wants something. Instead, he’s rarely more than three feet from me, he spends much of his day sitting on me or in direct physical contact, he can’t abide any barrier between us, and he expresses his love by marching up to me, purring up a storm, and rubbing his head against my face.
He chooses to do that, and it tells me that for all the boneheaded mistakes I’ve made, I must be doing a pretty decent job. He’s not my property, he’s my Buddy.
Flashback photos from the spring of 2020 when most cats were wondering why their people were huddling at home and only venturing out cautiously with masks and gloves.
Taken during the spring of 2020 during the height of the quarantine, which Bud was blissfully oblivious to!
Is the human a bad influence on the cat, is the cat a bad influence on the human, or are they both just crazy?
NEW YORK — Big Buddy and Little Buddy experienced an awkward moment while watching a cat documentary which claimed feline personalities eventually come to resemble the dispositions of their humans.
The human and tabby were sitting on their couch, eating popcorn and laughing at their own farts when Holly Sikes, a cat behaviorist interviewed in the documentary, broke down the way people and their furry pals mirror each other.
“So, for example, if the cat is a lazy, egotistical jerk who’s always coming up with hare-brained schemes, he obviously learned that from someone,” the behaviorist said. “And that someone is the primary caretaker, the one with whom the cat spends most of his or her time.”
The Buddies looked at each other, shrugging.
“I once had a client whose cat, Quintus Lentilus Batiatus, was an absolute lunatic,” Sikes continued in the documentary. “And it turned out the owner was a LARPer who belonged to a group of wannabe Roman legionaries, which explained why little Quintus had declared war on the German family next door, labeling them ‘barbarians and savages who must be civilized under the banner of the Sacred Eagle.’ I’ve heard of cats styling themselves as Mongol conquerors, Spartan warriors and even kings of Joseon.”
Little Buddy stopped chewing, and with a mouth full of popcorn, turned to his Big Buddy.
“I’m, uh, not feeling this documentary, dude,” he said. “Let’s find something else to watch.”
“Agreed,” Big Buddy said.
The behaviorist continued to elaborate as Big Buddy searched for the remote.
“…and delusions of grandeur, particularly when it comes to fantasies about conquering the world, being famous, or even establishing ties with big cats like jaguars and tigers…”
Little Buddy’s voice was urgent.
“Where’s the remote, dude? Come on! Find it!”
“I’m trying! Where the heck is it?”
“…and we find that in cases where human and feline are closely bonded, they serve as enablers, with each convincing the other that their schemes are brilliant even when they’re gobsmackingly inane…”
Big Buddy grunted triumphantly.
“Found it!” he said.
Human and cat breathed a sigh of relief as the stream stopped.
“So what do you wanna watch next, Bud?” Big Buddy asked.
Little Buddy sat up and stretched.
“Actually, I was thinking of taking another nap and then working on my brilliant plan to intercept catnip shipments bound for pet stores.”
Big Buddy whistled.
“That is a brilliant plan, little guy,” he said.
“It is, isn’t it?” Little Buddy said proudly.
“Good call on the nap too. I’ll set my alarm for 90 minutes. Gotta get that beauty sleep…”
As of press time, the Buddies had settled on a scheme to intercept catnip and turkey bound for pet stores, which they both agreed was brilliantly conceived and guaranteed to work.