Buddy the Cat – Page 48 – Pain In The Bud

Buddy Thinks This Treat Is A Toy

Buddy: “Must dip my head into the food! Yes!”

Cats love ’em, they said. It’ll be a great bonding experience, they said. You’ll have to stop your cat from eating too much, they said.

I had high hopes for the “squeeze” treats and was looking forward to getting home and giving Buddy a snack he hadn’t had before.

The problem? The Budster cannot get it through his stubborn little head that the squeeze treats are food.

He thinks they’re some sort of toy and every time I try to give him some, he head bunts the lickable chicken paste like it’s something he’s claiming with his scent, along with his plushies and wands.

After wiping the stuff off the top of his head for the umpteenth time, I squeezed a little bit of it on a paper towel and set it down for him, reasoning that he must finally understand it’s food.

Nope. Bud approached it, sniffed it, then dipped his face in it!

Bud praying — “Please grant me turkey, so that I might eat more delicious yums!”

I’m not sure if this result means the stuff is so processed it doesn’t register as food, or if Bud’s just dense. After all, other cats love it, and we’re talking about a cat who whose idiosyncratic behaviors range from folding both front paws together and raising them as if in prayer, to spending months in late kittenhood engaging in boxing matches with the Bizarro Buddy in the mirror.

(I always knew when Bud was participating in a boxing match because I’d hear “Mmmmrrrrppp!” followed by THWAP THWAP THWAP! as his little paws hammered the glass. Then I’d gently pick him up off the table and set him down on the floor, praising him for his pugilistic skills while redirecting him to a less potentially destructive activity.)

Maybe I’ll try mixing some of the paste in with Bud’s wet food. Will he understand if it’s served with his beloved turkey? Or will be smoosh his entire face into the bowl and leave me with another mess to clean up?

Stay tuned until the next installment, same Buddy time, same Buddy channel!

Los Gatos Woo Customers With Drone Catnip Delivery

As more states legalized catnip, players in the underground ‘nip market are going legitimate and claiming market share.

LOS ANGELES — Cats looking for a fix could soon enjoy the convenience of prompt, contactless delivery of premium catnip thanks to a new drone delivery pilot program from Los Gatos.

“Getting high-quality nipcotics into the paws of our customers is our highest priority,” said Jose Purrado, executive vice president of product for Los Gatos. “We believe drones are the future of delivery, and we’ve invested millions into a robust, user-friendly experience. It’s now easier than ever for cats to get their fix.”

The criminal cartel turned legitimate player in the legal catnip market has been focusing on increasing market share from its primary competitors, including the Meowfia and the Buddy Organization, which has been recently rebranded as Nipped In The Bud Catnip Co.

Earlier this year Los Gatos introduced a shiny new app that allows feline customers to order catnip and silvervine directly, in the strain, potency and form of their choosing.

In addition to all-natural catnip in plant form, the app features catnip vaporizers, as well as catnip edibles in various meaty flavors, like Trippy Tuna and Meowie Wowie Beef Chews.

While Nipped In The Bud Catnip Co. will compete with Los Gatos in the legal catnip market, the Meowfia have doubled down on the illicit market.

“Why pay tax on your ‘nip, or let the government know you enjoy a little silver vine pick-me-up before work?” said Fiorenzo “Uncle Enzo” Giaguaro, the Meowfia’s public face. “Our clients come to Cosa Nostra Catnip because we take care of them, our product is excellent, and we have a convenient loan program. You can also bet on the latest baseball game or boxing match with any one of our friendly and well-trained ‘nip brokers. When you deal with Cosa Nostra, you’re family.”

Woman Calls Boyfriend ‘Weird And Creepy’ For Being A Cat Dad

A man says his girlfriend is worried his posts about his new kittens will embarrass her, and has demanded he take them down.

Is it “weird” and “creepy” to call yourself a cat dad?

One Redditor’s girlfriend thinks so, and didn’t hesitate to tell him. The 24-year-old poster says he’s had cats since he was 15 years old, and his current cat recently gave birth to a litter of kittens.

“I was so happy I took a pic and posted it online with the title saying that I’m now a cat dad for these cute kittens and that they’re my babies,” he wrote. “My post got lots of likes and reactions, but when my girlfriend saw it she picked a fight with me calling it cringe that I constantly refer to these kittens as my babies. She told me it’s just weird and lowkey creepy.”

The post comes from Reddit’s ever-flowing fount of entertainment, the subreddit known as “Am I The Asshole?“

In his version of the story, the Redditor says his girlfriend demanded he remove the post because she was worried it would cause her embarrassment with her friends. He refused, they argued, and she left to stay at a friend’s house to cool off.

The situation has not been resolved.

“We’re still fighting about it and she keeps on about how inconsiderate I am to keep doing something I know she’s uncomfortable with,” Mr. Cat Dad writes.

Man and his cat — Credit: Tough Guys Holding Pets

The response among Redditors was overwhelmingly in favor of the poster, saying he’s emphatically “not the asshole.” Many responded with their own stories about cat dads, while others said the girlfriend was perpetuating harmful gender stereotypes.

“I feel sorry for your girlfriend,” a female poster wrote. “She has no joy in her heart and worried entirely too much about what other people think. Spoiler: nobody cares, live your best life.”

Keeping in mind these posts only tell one side of the story, it’s not unusual to hear about people who think men who like cats are weird, just like it’s pretty common to hear women called “crazy cat ladies.”

We don’t have that problem here at PITB, mostly because Bud is undeniably manly. If you saw a guy walking down the street with a tiger on a leash, you wouldn’t mess with him, would you? Well, Buddy’s indistinguishable from a tiger: same predatory gait, same intimidating and intense presence, same razor sharp claws and rippling meowscles.

I don’t call Bud my child or my son. He’s my Buddy. But if guys want to call themselves cat dads, who’s to say that’s a bad thing?

It’s Actually Really Easy To Teach Your Cat To High Five

Training is also fun for your cat since it’s interactive, challenging and a diversion from routine. Plus, kitty gets treats.

My cousin thought I was joking when I told him my cat would come when called, sit when told and give me some love with a high five.

“Get outta here,” he said as we watched an NBA playoff game.

“Okay then,” I said. “Hey Bud!”

Buddy popped up from wherever he’d been lounging with a “Mrrrrrrrrppp!” He regarded me quizzically with his parakeet green eyes, knowing there was probably a treat in it for him as he padded toward me.

“Sit,” I said, gesturing for him to park his behind about two feet away from me. He sat.

“High five!” I said as Buddy leaned forward and slapped his paw against my palm.

I tossed him a treat for a job well done. If it were up to Bud, we’d high-five another 10 times.

There are a lot of misconceptions about cats, and one of them is the idea that felines aren’t amenable to training. It’s why people use the phrase “trying to herd cats” to describe an impossible task.

People don’t expect to see a cat complying, and they definitely don’t expect to see our feline friends pulling off tricks, which makes it more fun to defy expectations.

It’s easy to train your cat to pull off simple tricks — so easy that I almost couldn’t believe it when Bud was reliably high fiving me within a week.

Cat High Five — It makes for a good party trick and a way to bond with your feline friend.

Teaching a cat to sit is a prerequisite for high fives. It’s a straightforward and easy process.

After that, it’s really just a matter of building trust with your cat so she’ll allow you first to touch her paw, then to gently take it in your hand and raise it. The first few sessions, all you need to do is touch or hold your cat’s paw. On the second day, start to raise it slightly.

Cats don’t do well with long training sessions anyway, so the time commitment is minimal. One or two sessions a day, 10 to 15 minutes each.

Every time you touch kitty’s paw, bring it a little bit higher than the last time, rewarding your cat with encouragement and a treat. After a few sessions, your cat will anticipate this new ritual you’ve got going and will raise her paw as soon as you start.

The last step is holding kitty’s paw against your outstretched palm for just a second or two, then rewarding her with a treat.

That’s it. You’re done.

Run through the trick a few times a day after your cat’s got it down, to reinforce good high fiving form and whichever affirmations you choose. (I chose to say “Good boy!” each time Bud pulled it off rather than use a clicker.) Either method works, since the important things are consistency and positive reinforcement immediately after your cat does well. You want to make sure you click or say “Good boy!” right away so your cat knows the praise is triggered by a successful high five. (Or an intermediary paw raise if you’re still working on the trick.)

For a more detailed breakdown of how to do it, check out this video from CatManToo, a professional dog trainer who adjusted his methods for cats. This is the method I used to train Bud. Again, you don’t actually need a clicker, just a consistent method of feedback to signal that your cat is doing well:

Who Has A Box? I Has A Box!

A new box arrived today from Amazon, the company that sends boxes!

I have a new box. Didn’t know if you knew that. Yeah, it’s awesome! It’s square, and made of cardboard, and you can sits in it.

After Big Buddy removed the irrelevant item inside — something that came in its own smaller box, which shall be investigated at a later time — I inspected the box from the inside and outside to make sure it was suitable.

Sure enough it turned out to be a good box, so I sat in it! Isn’t that awesome?

Who doesn’t love boxes? They’re so…boxy. You can sits in them. When you’re inside a box, you can see humans, but humans can’t see you. Also, boxes are cozy.

I have a new box!