What do felines make of the spy-slash-UFO drama that has consumed the popular imagination for the last week?
The humans have been freaking out about a big balloon flying over Humanland, believing other humans sent it to spy on them. But some humans think aliens are behind the nefarious balloons, and they’re not balloons at all — they’re super sneaky alien craft sent here to scout ahead for an invasion. What do you think?
“If I wanted caviar for breakfast, I would have told you. Stick with the schedule.” – Versace, 13, show cat
“You gonna eat that hedgehog?” – P-84, 1, puma
“Hey up, mates. What’s this, then? Can’t we just fire a few fecking missiles at them and get on with it?” – Liam Gallagher, 8, British cat
“Allow the aliens to land. They look delicious.” – Zanzibar, 5 months, apprentice murderer
“We need a bunker, do we have a bunker? Well why didn’t you BUILD a bunker? Do I have to think of everything?!?” – Buddy the Cat, 8, ex-president of Americats
“This is clearly the work of the aggressive regime in Luxembourg. We should invade, confiscate all their cheese and make them a vassal state.” – Cicero Nash, 4 1/2 months, couch stylist
People come from all over Poland, neighboring Germany and beyond to see Gacek up close.
The Polish city of Szczecin has a message for visitors: Come, see Gacek and marvel at his chonky feline glory, but please don’t feed him!
It’s not a joke. The rotund tuxedo kitty, dubbed the “King of Kaszubska Street” in a 2020 local news report, has become so famous that he’s listed as the top-rated tourist attraction in Szczecin, a riverfront city of 395,000 people in northwest Poland. That’s no small feat in a place that boasts a beautiful historic old town and a bustling riverfront lined with shops, restaurants and attractions.
Locals think Gacek is about seven years old, and some years ago they built him his own little house on the street, where he can be found snoozing comfortably when he’s not strolling the block, charming tourists and nibbling on the food they (still) bring him.
Gacek isn’t bothered by street sounds or crowds of admirers as he naps in his house. Credit: Krola_Karo/Reddit
There are more than 1,100 reviews for the big guy on Google, with an average of a 4.9/5 rating. (We suspect the handful of less-than-perfect reviews are from dogs or jealous rivals.)
“It was worth traveling three hours to feel ignored by him,” one reviewer wrote.
Another visitor got too close to the magnificent chonkster and found out what happens: “He stole a sausage,” the reviewer deadpanned.
As Notes from Poland points out, there’s a sign on Gacek’s house informing visitors that Gacek will “happily pose for photos,” and asking for people to leave food in sealed bags in a box, so Gacek’s caretakers can keep him on a somewhat normal diet and prevent him from gaining more weight. A post on the Slavic social media site VK describes Gacek as calm and nonchalant about the attention he draws, but notes he doesn’t particularly like it when people pet him, and he’s not a fan of the cold.
h/t reader Gilda P. for letting us know about Gacek.
Szczecin is especially busy in the warm summer months, but Gacek is a year-round attraction. Credit: InYourPocket
Gacek is accustomed to being the center of attention and seems to revel in his celebrity as he makes his daily rounds around the block. Credit:hollusaurus/Reddit
Gacek responded with a few excited meows when a Polish TV crew interviewed him in 2020.
Cats often scarf their food down as if they haven’t eaten in a week. Are we feeding them enough?
Not all cat food is created equal, and many cats say they’re not getting enough nutrients daily. We asked six cats if their nutritional needs are being met and if their humans are feeding them enough.
Herbert Augustus Lardfellow
“That’s a joke, right? I’m starving over here. Look at me, I’m practically skin and bone!” – Herbert Augustus Lardfellow, 4, barrister
Slim Smudge
“I meow and meow and meow, and all I get are three cans of wet food a day, a bowl of dry and six snacks. I’m constantly hungry.” – Slim Smudge, 9, executive vice purrsident
Sir Snacksalot
“No! I often go two, sometimes three hours between meals. It’s torture!” – Sir Snacksalot, 2, sommelier
Pâté Pete
“Does it look like I get enough calories?” – Pâté Pete, 7, office meownager
Double-Stuffed Oreo
“When you’re as meowscular as I am, you need 10 or 20 times as much protein as a typical cat. I can feel my meowscles wasting away.” – Double-Stuffed Oreo, 5, investment banker
Mr. Delicious
“Too…weak. Can barely…meow. Need Temptations…now…please.” – Mr. Delicious, 3, analyst
Cats come in many different sizes and coat colors, but there’s one thing they all have in common: A love of food. This week we asked nine kitties what their favorite fancy feast is.
“Sea urchin ceviche and smoked duck from Dorsia. Don’t even try, you can’t get a reservation.” – Santorini, 4, Roomba rider
“Human. Haha. Just kidding. I’m partial to Hokkaido Wagyu ribeye or Omi beef filet, lightly pan-seared but still juicy and bloody.” – Dere Khan, 14, jungle ruler
“My human makes a spectacular moussaka just for me, filled with pate and topped with creamy Béchamel sauce that melts in my mouth. Then she feeds me tiramisu.” – Robin, 6 months, good kitten
“Crisp-skinned filet mignon bathed in suculent yuzu kosho, garnished with bacon and served with a side of steak tartare cakes.” – Sammy, 5 months, laser hunter
“Lobster frittata with Sevruga caviar. Nothing too fancy.” – Luisa Rey, 1, catnip quality control tester
“I’ll have the Chilean sea bass, human.” – Hiro, 3 months, nocturnal terror
“Grass-fed Ibérico ham glazed with honey. Such a simple snack, yet so satisfying.” – Stella, 5, cat food commercial model
“I’d have to say the roast swan stuffed with oysters, white beans and bacon. Raw caiman marinated in swamp water would be a close second.” – Xbalanque, 7 months, reincarnated jaguar deity
“Rack of lamb baked in a crust of garlic and herbs, fermented mare’s milk, buttered snails and fried goose liver. Humble fare, to be sure, but my human is a capable cook.” – Stay Puft, 11, book shop cat
Is that not a contingency you should have planned for, as part of your servantly duties to me, Buddy the Cat, First of His Name, Ruler of the Apartmental Realm, Distinguished Former President of the Americats, Prime Despiser of Vacuum the Infernal Wizard, Connoisseur of Turkey and Magnificent Buddinese Tiger?
It’s six degrees out! Even with the heater and the space heater, it feels like we’re in a refrigerator!
Ah, yes, I’ve helped myself to your seat. You snooze, you lose. It’s warm with your butt-heat, see, and besides, which seat is mine if not the one I’ve scratched approximately 20,000 times to the point where the fake leather is literally flaking off?
What are you doing? Wrapping me up? Well, that’s…a nice gesture, servant! Yes. Yes, this will do nicely. I feel like a newborn in swaddling clothes!
Now be a doll and fetch me some snacks so I don’t have to get up and you don’t have to wrap me up again. You’ve done well for yourself today, human. I am not displeased.”
