Cats from all walks of life react to news that humans want to join the species.
There have been several controversial stories lately about humans who identify as cats, or want to become cats. Most of them are hoaxes, but you can’t put things past crazy humans. We asked actual cats what they think about the idea.
What do you think?
“Does this mean they’re not going to be our servants anymore?” – Princess Sprinkles, 6, house cat
“I identify as a hulking tiger.” – Tiger, 11, indoor-outdoor menace
“They can identify as Jovian moons for all I care, as long as dinner is still served on time.” – Crispy Cream, 4, house cat
“I say, dear fellow, I should rather think they lack the fur.” – Niles, 10, British cat
“What am I thinking about? I’m thinking about chocolate rivers, candy-coated gumdrops, and Lifesavers made of cheese!” – Chonkmatic the Magnificent, King of North American cats
“WATCH ME GO!!! WATCH ME! I’M GONNA RUN FAST NOW!!! YEEEEAAAHHH!” – Mari, 4 months, house kitten
Buddy explains the primordial pouch, a feature that allows cats to do some really awesome stuff in battle.
Dear Buddy,
Why do some cats (like you) have flabby tummies? Why do those flabby stomachs jiggle when some cats (like you) run around? Like Anna Delvey famously asked Vivian: “Are you pregnant or are you so very, very fat?”
Horrified in Honolulu
Dear Horrified,
FAKE NEWS.
What you’re seeing is my primordial pouch, also known as the Warrior’s Pouch, the Paunch of Feline Heroes and the Champion’s Abdomen. When it’s prominent, as in my case, it indicates the cat in question comes from a line of feline warriors, and that the blood of fierce combatants courses through his veins.
A painting depicting the Battle of Felinar Caverns, when Buddy slew the dragon Ysunvaer in single combat. Original image credit: Johan Grenier
If your primordial pouch is not prominent, it means you’re descended from wimps who probably hid under the stairs when faced with threats, like the angry machine god Vakuum and the Elevator, the Mysterious Room That Eats People.
You see, according to scientists, the primordial pouch offers protection to our vital organs during battle, so an errant slash won’t open our guts.
The pouch serves another critical function, allowing us to fully stretch our bodies, thus making possible the incredibly acrobatic and awesome moves that distinguish us as the graceful combatants we are. The primordial pouch makes it possible for us to jump really high, cover incredible distance in a single bound, and tear up the dance floor.
As you can clearly see from the photos, I’m all rippling muscle aside from the primordial pouch, so I’m totally not chonky.
Your Champion,
Buddy
All cats, including tigers, have primordial pouches. Credit: Wikimedia Commons
It’s about more than just having a cozy place to sit.
Buddy is not overly obsessed with boxes.
I think that’s because he feels safe here, he’s got plenty of places to hide if he wants, and he’s got a big cat tunnel with four ways in or out. He doesn’t need another little space to crawl into.
Still, like any cat, the little dude likes a good box. When he gets to play with a new box he likes to sniff it, rub against it once or twice, then jump inside and determine if it’s comfortable. Then he gets serious, looks around, and slowly sinks down below the top of the box…
…and remains there for a few seconds before cautiously raising his head and looking around. Usually this is accompanied by a delighted trill, and I get the strong sense that he thinks he’s invisible to anyone outside the box while he has the advantage of seeing them.
“You cannot see Buddy, but Buddy sees you!”
Does he ambush me from the box? Does a bear crap in the woods?
There isn’t an abundance of research into why cats love boxes so much, but the existing data combined with what we know about the feline mind strongly suggests that, first and foremost, boxes have a strong psychological effect. They make cats feel secure and well-protected.
Anyone familiar with cats knows the little furballs like to wedge themselves into hideaways, scurry under tables and hide in laundry baskets. The behavior starts in kittenhood when they’re tiny enough to crawl into shoes and sneakers.
In 2021, animal cognition grad student Gabriella Smith conducted a study in which she found cats will happily sit in Kanizsa contours with the same enthusiasm they have for boxes.
Kanizsa contours are two-dimensional. The participants created them by using tape and paper to make the shapes on the floor. They’re not even proper boxes, just the illusory suggestion of boxes or general square shapes. That doesn’t seem to matter to cats:
Research shows cats are attracted to two-dimensional boxes as well as boxes made of cardboard and other materials.
A cat sitting in an illusory Kanizsa box.
Of course pieces of tape or paper on the floor do not afford any real protection, so the feline affinity for boxes seems to be more about feeling protected.
Since cats are territorial, it could be that they also like clear boundaries around their personal space.
The key here seems to be having the boundary without blocking access, as cats are notoriously not cool with closed doors or being confined. If they want to spend an hour in a tiny space and it’s their idea, they’re fine with it, but they don’t like to be restricted by when they can come and go.
Notably, this isn’t behavior limited to felis catus. So far there doesn’t seem to be any exception to the box-loving rule among felines and felids of any species. Tigers, lions, jaguars, leopards, snow leopards and pumas seem just as fond of them as their smaller cousins, as you can see in this video from Big Cat Rescue:
Boxes are comforting, cozy, fun to explore and make the perfect hiding spots for ambushes. If you’re a cat big or small, what’s not to like?
Have you been thinking about linking to Buddy from your blog, sharing Buddy’s wisdom from your social media pages, or simply ordering a small poster-size print of Buddy because he’s so damn handsome?
You’re in luck! Here are some promotional images centered around everyone’s favorite little dude and his many talents:
Apex Predators:
Buddy and Gerald: Apex Predators, based on a fake news story post from March about Buddy breaking into a tiger enclosure to be among his “peeps” and “reconnect with his heritage.”
Buddinese Tiger:
The Buddinese Tiger, aka Felis Awesomus, is a very rare breed of felid native to New York.
Apex Lounger:
Buddy’s not just an Apex Predator, he’s an Apex Lounger as well. Few living beings can match Bud’s lounging prowess, or make laziness look as good as he does.
AIR BUD:
The NBA wouldn’t allow him to enter the draft, determining that allowing one team to have him would be unfair to the 29 remaining squads. Still, he’s made All Star Weekend appearances, picking up three consecutive Slam Dunk Contest wins and six consecutive Furriest Player awards.
8-Bit Buddy Logo:
Buddy goes old-school with a classically handsome pose and an 8-bit logo worthy of Nintendo!
Budzilla:
What if Buddy were a kaiju? Well, we’d all be in trouble unless we delivered thousands of pounds of turkey daily.
Angels and Devils:
Life as a cat isn’t all about relaxing and eating, you know. There’s real conflict to be dealt with, and authentic moral quandaries to consider, like “I know I’m not supposed to scratch the couch, but it’s so scratchable!”
Buddy the Cat is the new face of MGM Studios, replacing the iconic Leo the Lion.
HOLLYWOOD — One of Hollywood’s most iconic studios has gotten a facelift, replacing its familiar roaring lion logo with a new feline face.
Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer has used “Leo the Lion” as its mascot since the early 20th century merger between three production houses that vaulted the new company into Hollywood’s “big five” studios.
Now 97 years later, Leo has been replaced by a tiger — a Buddinese tiger, to be exact.
“While Leo has served us well for almost a century and audiences have come to love his iconic roar, we felt it was time for something more modern, more hip, to connect with younger audiences,” studio head Marcus Mayer told Variety. “When someone floated Buddy’s name during a brainstorming session with our PR people, it seemed like a no-brainer.”
While Leo’s roar was actually sampled from a tiger and overdubbed in sync with the lion opening his mouth — a little-known piece of cinema trivia — the new logo and title card will feature both Buddy the Cat’s famous likeness as well as his blood-curdling roar.
“The first time I heard Buddy’s roar, I got goosebumps and I almost shat myself,” admitted sound man Mark Mangini, who created the 1980s update of the MGM logo and the 2001 rebrand featuring Buddy. “I knew we had to convey that kind of power and ferocity for our brand by associating it with Buddy.”
Neither MGM nor Buddy’s representatives would comment on compensation for the world famous tabby cat, but a source close to the deal said it was worth “in the seven figures of wet food cans,” presumably all or most of it turkey, the ferocious cat’s preferred meal and currency. The deal would vault Buddy into the top 50 most wealthy cats in the world, with the majority of his wealth held in turkey-related assets.
Movie-going audiences are expected to see Buddy again late this summer with the highly-anticipated release of “Cat On Deck: A Little Buddy’s Bravery,” about a British ship’s cat named Simon who rallied the crew of the HMS Amethyst in 1949 after it was nearly sunk by a volley from a Chinese Liberation Army gun battery.
Sailors of the HMS Amethyst present Simon with an enormous fish dinner aboard the ship in 1949. The meal has been changed to turkey in the new biopic about Simon starring Buddy the Cat.
Pain In The Bud 