My Favorite Halloween Novel: In ‘Slade House,’ A Mysterious London Mansion Appears Once Every Nine Years To Consume The Souls Of Innocents

David Mitchell’s twist on the familiar haunted house story is an unsettling page-turner, perfect for a chilly October night.

Slade House isn’t your typical David Mitchell novel.

For one thing, it’s a slim volume, about 240 pages depending on the format and edition. You can mainline it in four or five hours, and it’s such a page-turner that many people have.

It’s not concerned with making any particularly grand statements about life and is engineered for one goal – to entertain the reader with a satisfyingly spooky story.

Slade House is the name of the mansion at the heart of the book, a grand aristocratic structure that once sat on a sizeable estate but is now crammed between houses and shops in a working-class neighborhood of London. It’s accessible by walking down a shabby, narrow alley fronted by a pub called The Fox and the Hounds. The gloomy lane takes a turn, and if you know precisely where to look, there’s a slim iron door leading to something unexpected in such a neighborhood – a verdant, picturesque garden surrounding a small pond. A path winds through the garden and under a series of trestles, leading to the ivy-choked home sitting on the crest of a low hill.

Most interestingly, it exists for exactly one day every nine years, when someone is lured inside and is never seen again.

This is not Slade House, but Craigdarroch Castle, a Victorian-era Scottish baronial mansion in British Columbia, is very close to the image in my mind’s eye while reading the book.

Mitchell shows us Slade House through the eyes of its many victims: an awkward, autistic pre-teen boy who is enticed inside along with his mother. A police detective and wannabe lothario dispatched to investigate the house and the fate of people who have gone missing there over the decades. Members of a local university’s extracurricular paranormal research club who think they’re in for a ghost hunt only to find a debauched Halloween bash packed with undergrads. The journalist sister of one of the college students who went missing there in the last nine-year “cycle.”

And finally, a Canadian psychologist with a clinical interest in people who buy into conspiracy theories, stories of alien visitations and other strange phenomena.

To describe what each of them finds inside would be to spoil the novel and rob the narrative of its punch. Besides, nothing I can say could possibly do justice to the yarn Mitchell spins here.

What I can say is that Slade House reinvents itself so it appears to give its victims exactly what they want, and the forces behind the spectral structure aren’t there to play nice. I found myself thinking of their malevolent tricks and shuddering long after I finished the last chapter.

Since then it’s become something of a Halloween tradition to dive back in. I don’t read Slade House every year, and knowing how few books we read in our short lives even when we make a serious effort, I’d much rather push myself to discover new novelists and worlds.

Yet Slade House is the rare book that deserves and even demands to be read again. Not only is it an exceptionally well-crafted story, it’s got the same quality as films like The Big Lebowski when every time through the narrative yields new revelations and additional connections become apparent. It could be something as simple as a callback to a seemingly unimportant piece of dialog early in the book, or recognizing a certain character is someone you’ve met in a previous Mitchell novel making a cameo in this one.

Or it could mean finally recognizing a bit of symbolism that’s been staring you in the face the entire time, like the discovery of a dead cat in Slade Alley in the book’s opening pages. The feline in question is the legendary Moon Gray Cat, an entity that appears in almost every Mitchell novel at critical points. When the Moon Gray Cat shows up dead almost immediately in Slade House, that’s Mitchell signaling to the reader that there will be no magical help for the characters in this novel. They’re on their own. (Fellow cat lovers, please note: Mitchell is on record saying the Moon Gray Cat is not really dead, and in fact cannot be killed. He appeared in the very next Mitchell book, and I’m sure we’ll spot him rubbing up against a character or napping in the background during a key scene next time around as well. Viva la Moon Gray Cat!)

The first-print hardcover edition of Slade House, which was published in 2015.

As for the book, it’s something different built on the bones of the classic haunted house story. The horrors inside Slade House persist even when the home itself vanishes.

The police, for their part, think they’re spinning their wheels at the behest of jokesters. They know the disappearances are real, but every time someone goes missing not only are detectives unable to locate Slade House, they find it cannot exist. There’s simply not enough room in the jumble of buildings housing shops and flats. Satellite photos confirm what they can surmise from the ground, though municipal records do turn up a Slade House that formerly existed there until it was destroyed during a German bombing raid on London during World War II…

The detectives rationalize the disappearances. One family may have simply fled, leaving behind outstanding debts and complications in London and finding refuge with relatives in Canada. A woman who vanished half a century ago may have ditched her husband and ran off with her lover. There are plenty of reasons people abandon their lives, and maybe the fact that they were last seen entering Slade Alley is just coincidence.

Only one group of people have begun to assemble the facts, and those are the victims. “Pass it on,” the echo of a previous victim tells a person freshly lured into the phantasmagorical property at one point. The recipient doesn’t know it’s already too late for her, but if she can add to the small packet of information, perhaps some future target can be warned off before Slade House slips the handcuffs on.

The image of a grandfather clock and the ways we interpret time play a subtle but central element in the novel. Image modified in Photoshop from an original via Pexels

For his part, when Slade House was published in 2015, Mitchell took some fire from the literary establishment for taking a detour and deciding to play in a genre sandbox for a while. Some critics argued that his talents are too great to waste on lowly genre fare when he could be writing Serious Literature™.

I was proud of him when he made it clear to one interviewer that he doesn’t care. He had fun writing the novel and he hopes readers enjoy spending time in its odd little world. Besides, he argued, the idea that genre fiction is less worthy of attention is itself a flawed premise.

I wholeheartedly agree with that assessment, as well as Mitchell’s contention that genre fiction gives us a safe place to explore fantasies, ambitions and anxieties that would normally be dismissed as childish. Science fiction, one of my favorite genres, is often criticized on the aforementioned terms as if speculating on the very nature of our existence – and whether we share our vast universe with other sapient entities – is somehow out of bounds, and we should all aspire to the kind of writing favored by MFA factories.

Insisting that there is only one valid way to create is close-minded. Opening yourself to possibilities you haven’t grappled with is the precise opposite.

Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s been a few years since I last visited Slade House, and I have a date with a reality-shifting entity that wants to consume me, at least for four or five hours.

Header image via Pexels

Cops: Wannabe Rapper ‘Ritually Sacrificed’ Cat To Promote Music

David Mosley wanted attention and allegedly killed a cat on camera to promote his Satanist-themed music.

What to do when you want to be a famous music artist, but your tunes are abominably awful and your gimmick is infantile?

If you’re David Mosley, apparently you beg the internet to notice you exist by allegedly murdering a cat.

The 26-year-old Bronx man was initially gleeful after sharing video and photos showing a dead cat in his Fordham North hovel surrounded by candles and a bunch of nonsense, including the word “SATAN,” spray painted on the walls.

“You should have heard the little bih squeal lol,” Mosley wrote on Instagram alongside a photo of a bloodied and dead cat in his apartment.

“I’m the king, n—a,” Mosley said in a follow-up video after mocking people who were upset that he allegedly killed the cat. “I can reach through the camera and put spells on you like that! That easily! I hexed you through the phone, through the camera. Ya’ll know I do f—ing voodoo, so don’t even call me delusional.”

Mosley during a live stream, during which he claimed supernatural powers.

A relevant question here: who adopted a cat out to this guy? I went through what felt like a CIA-level background check when I first went to adopt, and this Satanist who thinks he’s a wizard apparently had no problem just waltzing into a shelter and walking out with a cat.

Apparently angry that no one turned up to the first “show” in his illustrious music career, Mosley said he was going to take things to the “next level” with another “sacrifice” on Halloween night. In his musical endeavors he called himself Church of Ububal, with the latter word a reverse spelling of “Labubu” in reference to the viral toys.

“Be there or be square,” he wrote, per a screenshot posted to Reddit. “Like I said at my first show and no one came. But you will be at this one. Grab popcorn.”

When he got the attention he wanted, but not the reaction he wanted, he backpedaled during a live stream, claiming he found the already-deceased feline.

By that point, furious Redditors in a Bronx subreddit had closed in on his identity and exact location, and were pestering the NYPD to grab Mosley.

“Y’all are soft for falling for cheap parlor tricks” Mosley said during the live stream.

Incredibly, Bronx criminal court Judge Harold E. Bahr let Mosley walk free without having to post bail after a preliminary hearing this week, and adjourned a hearing this week after Mosley’s original attorney was not present. It’s not clear if that attorney will continue to represent Mosley.

Bahr must be confused about which decade this is. Constituents should (politely) register their displeasure with his office. People from several local cat rescues have already done so.

“We want the judge to take this seriously. We cannot wait for another crime like this to happen,” local animal welfare activist Rachel Ejsmont told News12 Bronx.

Mosley was initially charged with criminal mischief and aggravated cruelty to animals at his Oct. 30 arraignment. Activists are pushing the district attorney for more serious charges.

The court hasn’t set a date for Mosley’s next hearing after the Nov. 12 adjournment. We hope the scrutiny and his mounting legal troubles dissuade him from trying to get attention through violence again.

Lastly, I usually keep my mouth shut about this sort of thing because I know emotions run high and most people are well-intentioned, but already there are grifters latching onto this incident and using it to beg for donations for their activism, which amounts to little more than grumbling about this stuff on social media.

Be careful about who you donate to and make sure you’re giving to registered organizations with financials listed on Charity Navigator or Charity Watch. Donate your hard-earned money to groups that really do make a difference, such as the Humane Society, SPCA and local rescues that do outstanding work, like New Jersey’s Tabby’s Place. A transparent, effective charity will feature its IRS Form 990 on its website and use at least 75 percent of its revenue from donations on program spending. Be wary of “influencers,” people who say outrageous things for attention, clicks and donations, and anyone who claims they have special access to, or influence over, authorities.

Header image via News12 Bronx (screencap)

What’s Good About Having A Pet? Everything!

Animals are a real source of joy in this world, and few things are better than cozying up on a couch with a book and a purring cat in your lap.

Daily writing prompt
What is good about having a pet?

For more than two weeks after adopting him, I still didn’t have a name for my cat.

I imagined something badass, something funny, something better than all those boring pet names. But the playful, energetic, bold little kitten in front of me was no Brasidas (my favorite Spartan), Mo (my favorite pitcher) or Timothy Cavendish. (My favorite character from David Mitchell’s Cloud Atlas.)

So I kept calling him buddy while I waited for something to come to me, and then it became obvious: He is Buddy.

Original? Nah. But it describes him perfectly, and to me that’s the best part about adopting him, my first-ever pet.

We’re pals. Amigos. Chums. Accomplices. Buddies.

Buddy as he exists in his mind!

I don’t consider myself his “dad” even though I have parental, protective feelings for him. He’s my buddy who wants to be involved in everything I do, whether it’s helping me greet trick-or-treaters at the door like he did last night, batting a paw at my guitar strings to add his special touch to my recording takes, or just hanging out while I’m reading.

I knew it intuitively, but the best advice I ever got was to always remember your little friend, be it a cat or dog, has his or her own feelings.

There’s a lot of confusion around the word sentience and people often confuse it with the concept of sapience, but there is no doubt about it: mammals like cats and dogs, avian species like corvids (ravens, jays, crows and magpies), and even cephalopods like octopus are sentient.

They think. They feel. They experience emotions like joy, sadness, excitement, anxiety, love, loneliness and more, just as intensely as we do. They may not be able to articulate those feelings in words, but they’re real.

More than half a century’s worth of science has confirmed that fact at every step, and we continue to learn more about animal cognition with every advance in technology that allows us to peer deeper into their minds.

Awww, he tolerates me!

When you treat your pet with respect and keep their feelings in mind, you’ll have a friend for life.

A loyal friend whose love comes without condition.

A friend who won’t lie to you…except maybe when it comes to food. After all, Bud could win an Oscar for his role as a starving cat, even though a single glance at him confirms he’s never missed a meal.

If you’re where I was years ago and considering bringing a pet into your life, ask yourself if you’re ready for a commitment that could last two decades, if you’re ready and motivated to give an animal not just a forever home, but the best life the little one can live.

Remember that kittens and puppies grow up fast, and think about whether you’d rather have a whirlwind of energy who will wreck your sleeping habits for months, or an adult furball who is much more chill. Remember that you will have to do things you don’t like, whether it’s scooping a litter box or bagging poop on a walk. There will be expenses, scares, the occasional puked-on rug.

But the joy you’ll get, and the friendship you’ll have, will make it all worth it.

And if you’re sure, find yourself a buddy at your local shelter. Your life will be better for it.

P.S. If you’re a fool like me, you can also have fun imagining your cat or dog in absurd scenarios based on their personalities.

Happy Halloween: It’s Little Buddy’s Favorite Holiday!

Trick or treaters will get the scare of their lives when they knock on the door and are greeted by a hulking 11-lb Buddinese Tiger!

I already knew I’d adopted a bold little guy by the time Bud’s first Halloween rolled around, but his friendliness on that night gave me a new appreciation for how special he is.

Starting from that first Halloween in 2014, Buddy has eagerly participated each year as my assistant, rushing to the door at every knock.

He likes to sit on the threshold of the front door to greet the kids and check out all the interesting costumes. In turn there’s always a mom or a kid who makes a fuss over him, and he loves the attention.

Whether your cats are your little Halloween helpers or retreat to a bedroom and dive under a bed until the last knock at the door, Buddy and I wish you a happy Halloween.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to rearrange the candy bowl so the Reeses peanut butter cups are buried under Milky Ways and Hershey bars. For safety purposes, of course, not because I want to make sure some are left over for me when the trick or treaters fizzle out…

‘Aww, Your Kitty Is So Cute!’

A very Buddy Halloween!

As much as Bud can be a wimp fearless protector of the apartmental realm, he’s also very friendly when he feels confident, and he loves Halloween.

Every Halloween since kittenhood, little man has answered the door with me, standing right by my side as I hand out candy. He’s just as curious about the kids as they are about him.

“Your kitty is so cute!” one girl of about 10 said tonight as Bud looked up at her.

“Thanks!” I said. “He loves answering the door.”

The little girl, dressed as a witch, was the third trick-or-treater to compliment Bud tonight. That may not seem like much, but we had surprisingly few kids this year. I expected a lot more since the last two Halloweens were muted by the threat of COVID, but for whatever reason the little ghouls and goblins have not returned to pre-COVID levels.

For what it’s worth, when I was a kid we used to love going to apartment buildings, which offered the best time-to-candy ratio. You could knock out an entire floor of 20 apartments in 10 or 15 minutes, then walk up the stairs and do it again. By the end of the night, you were guaranteed to have overflowing bags of candy.

Things have really changed in two decades. My brother, my friends and I would just go out by ourselves in our Batman, ninja and robot costumes. Mom would tell us to be careful, but we weren’t chaperoned. Nowadays every trick-or-treater has a parent in tow. I’m not sure if that’s a smart precaution or a sad reflection on our society.

Alas, Bud didn’t wear a costume this year. Usually I’m able to get him to tolerate a simple bandana or his little tuxedo, at least for the time it takes to answer the door. I couldn’t find either of them this year, so I tried to bribe him into wearing a little penguin hat from an old costume.

Despite the payoff in snacks, Bud tugged the hat off three times. It was a bit too small, and he’s too smart. The hat didn’t have a chance.

Happy Halloween! I hope all PITB readers and their feline masters are having a great night. Have fun polishing off the leftover candy!