“I Am The Very Model Of A Feline So Phenomenal!” Buddy Does Gilbert And Sullivan

Buddy the Cat’s talents are innumerable! In this rousing number he slips into the style of Gilbert and Sullivan and uses verse to tell us what a feline should be.

“I am the very model of a feline so crepuscular
My visage is so handsome and my meowscles are so muscular!
I am a little tiger though the fact may seem improbable
My knowledge is near boundless in all matters gastronomical
I eat six meals a day in circumstances nominal
For serving snacks when I demand, my human is responsible
No challenge is impossible, no problem yet insoluble
I am the very model of a feline so phenomenal!

I’m schooled in all biology from macro to subcellular
A meowster of olfactory for every object smellular
My hearing’s extrasensitive in low and higher frequencies
I hear the mice a-chatter but the elephants don’t speak to me
My style is more Big Punisher than Doctor Dre or Easy E
Cuz when it comes to hip hop my tastes all face to easterly
I like to shake my booty, I’m funky when I need to be
I am the very model of a cat who does it easily!

I rule with iron paws be it jungle or the living room
And when I’m finished dining, I am content to sit and groom
When it comes to games I am the ultimate competitor
Obligatory carnivore, I am a model predator
Yet somehow cute and fluffy when I feel the need to be
Mostly when I tell my buddy “Wake up, human, and feed me!

I am well-versed in big cats whether tiger or jaguarian
And qualities of catnip like a feline rastafarian
Intimidating surely, in my home I am the guardian
Look dashing in a tux or the kit of a safarian!
When it comes to ladies all the gents seek my analysis
I designed the Taj Mahal and Cleopatra’s palaces
I drink champagne from bottles and sip water from my chalices
Then ignite sky with a range of borealises!
A champion of Opens like the French, Aussie and Wimbledon
My game is too complex for the tastes of canine simpletons

A predator so optimal, impeded by no obstacle
When I’m roused to anger you will find me quite unstoppable
Stylish with a monacle, calm and rarely volatile
I am the very model of a feline so phenomenal!

I am the very model of a feline so phenomenal!

[Chorus of girls]

He is the very model of a feline so phenomenal! Find a better cat? Well that is just impossible! He is the very model of a feline so phenomenal!”

It’s Never Easy With Bud

Little man’s got acne and won’t let me use a hot compress. Will a topical cream work?

The gross picture you’re looking at is the underside of Bud’s chin.

I knew he’d gotten acne again, but was surprised to see it’s this bad.

So I turned to Google, read a bunch of stuff, and watched a video in which a veterinarian had her arm around calm cat, who allowed her to rub its chin with a warm compress and witch hazel.

These veterinarians with their calm cats! You never see them with a cat like Bud, and I know there’s no magic to their approach because I’ve warned vet techs about him before and have seen them still come away with scratches.

Buddy’s selfie, triggered by the little guy himself when I was trying to get a clear shot of his acne so I could assess how bad it is.

I don’t have any witch hazel, but figured a warm compress could help. I should have known better. He won’t let me do it, just like he won’t let me trim his claws, brush him for more than two seconds at a time, or do just about anything else for his benefit.

When it’s his idea, of course, I can rub his chin until his heart’s content, as well as the top of his head, his cheeks and around his ears. But at all other times? Terrible! Unacceptable!

He is such a pain in the ass. A Pain In The Bud, you might even say. I love him very much and he’s generally a good boy, but what a pain in the ass.

I already have stainless steel bowls for him, so unfortunately this may be my fault for either not cleaning them well enough or not running them through the dishwasher enough to kill off all potential bacteria with heat as well as soap. Normally I wash them by hand with soap between meals/water refilling, and once a week in the dishwasher, but it looks like I’m going to have to be a lot more thorough and really scrub the hell out of them.

In the meantime, can anyone recommend a good topical cream? Bud won’t let me apply anything with a warm cloth or even a soft tissue, but I think I may be able to distract him and apply a topical cream with a Q tip. Then hopefully he’ll realize I’m only trying to help and allow me to apply it.

Happy Thanksgiving, O Day Of Turkey! Let’s Be Thankful For Our Little Buddies

The Buddy Balloon will grace this year’s Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade in Manhattan.

Today is the day Buddy spends the other 364 days of the year dreaming about: turkey day!

He’s been a turkey fanatic since he was a tiny kitten, when I fed him the good stuff and he emerged from his dining nook licking his lips, meowing happily and looking like the most content little guy in the world.

While I try to remind myself how fortunate I am all year, for this year’s Thanksgiving I’m expressing particular gratitude for Bud, my best little pal.

I’m fortunate to be his caretaker and best friend. I’m thankful for the strong bond we share, his affection, and his loyalty. He’s always by my side, and even though he’s a bit of a lunatic at times, he’s a good boy with a big heart.

What about you, Bud?

“I’m thankful for all the delicious snacks I get to eat, all the comfy napping spots around the house, and of course for turkey!”

Cool. Anything else you’re grateful for?

“Yeah! I have some pretty cool toys and I’m told I have fans around the world!”

Uh, sure. What else?

“Hmmm. I think that about covers it.”

You sure?

“Yep.”

Don’t worry, it’ll come to him at some point, probably around 4 pm when he realizes I won’t be back in time to feed him according to his regular schedule.

Buddy and I wish all of you a happy Thanksgiving, and if you live in the US, we hope you have the Thanksgiving you want, whether that’s in the company of family, friends, or a quiet holiday spent at home with the people you love most. And of course, don’t forget to save some turkey for your own little buddies!

Dear Buddy: Do All Cats Look Like Wrinkly Aliens Under Their Fur?

Would your cat resemble a sphynx if you shaved its fur? Buddy the Cat investigates!

Dear Buddy,

Do all cats look like sphynxes underneath their coats? What I mean is, if someone were to shave off all your fur, would you look like a weird wrinkly little alien thing too?

Wondering In Wyoming

Dear Wondering,

Who told you that? Is Big Buddy planning to have me shaved? Is he gonna condemn me to one of those “groomers” and have me transformed into some undignified, naked, dumb-looking creature?

I will end him!

Buddy

Dear Buddy,

Whoah, hold up there, champ! No one’s got anything planned for you, it’s just a hypothetical. I’m genuinely curious about the no fur thing, that’s all. And I asked you because you’re the expert on every topic!

Wondering in Wyoming

Wondering,

Okay, okay, but I’m not letting my guard down. As the wise man George W. Bush once said: “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me…uh, you can’t get fooled again!”

I thought about your question and became more curiositized as well because sphynxes are weird and I don’t want to look like those freaks. Get mistaken for one and the next thing you know, they’re bringing you back to their mothership.

Above: These sphynxes are plotting your doom! They want to beam you up to their ship, test your skin for potential scratching post material, and eat your brains.

I can assure you that I would not resemble a sphynx if somehow I was overpowered (a tall order that would require a small army), drugged and shaved of my luxurious fur. I would just look more ripped, as there wouldn’t be any long fur to cover up my six pack and my rippling meowscles.

Due to his impressive meowsculature, Buddy would simply look even more ripped if someone with a death wish tried to shave his fur.

As for other cats, apparently they would not look like sphynxes either, because those freaks are uniquely covered in wrinkly skin, which is probably a side effect of the strange atmospheric conditions on their homeworld.

During my detailed investigatory investigation, I found images of domestic shorthairs, Maine Coons, Persians, Bengals, ragdolls and many other types of cats who were forced to endure ignominious “lion cuts” and other ridiculous “grooming” efforts. While many of them looked skinny and much less impressive without their fur bulking them up, they pretty much look like regular cats with a fuzzy, velvety coat instead of fluff.

Not as ripped as me, obviously, but not like sphynxes either.

I hope that answers your question. Remain vigilant, my friend! One never knows when one’s devious human might decide to humiliate one by shaving off all of one’s fur.

Your friend,

Buddy

Rover’s Top 100 Cat Names Is Rich in Lunas, Bellas And Milos, But Bereft Of Buddies

There are also categories for top Hollywood-inspired names (Bill Murray, Jack Sparrow), nostalgia-influenced names (Moog, Sega), and nature/space themed names, like Orion and Supernova.

Luna and Milo are the top female and male cat names in 2025, according to an analysis by Rover.

There are several different lists each year sourced from databases like pet insurance registrations or data from microchipping companies, but Rover’s list is based on its own records, which include millions of registrations on the pet services site.

There’s quite a bit of overlap, as expected, and familiar names top this year’s list, including Lilly, Lucy, Nala, Pepper, Willow, Cleo and Daisy for female cats. For male cats, Leo, Oliver, Charlie, Loki, Max, Simba, Jack and Smokey are among the most popular.

Notably absent was the name Buddy.

“What do you mean Buddy is not on the list?” Buddy the Cat said when told about the new data from Rover. “I shall find out who is responsible for these vile heresies and punish them with my righteous fury as the Emperor of Catkind! Muahahaha.”

Click here to view the overall top names list for cats and here for an index of the top trending names broken down into categories like pop culture, sports, nature and nostalgic names. The latter includes names like Bitcoin, Jpeg, Moog (after the monophonic synthesizers invented by Robert Moog), Amiga (after the 80s computer system), Sega and C-3PO.