Review: Disclosure Day Does The Impossible By Making Aliens Boring

This is Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull Spielberg, not E.T. or Jurassic Park Spielberg.

The early impressions from previews of Disclosure Day were surprising, considering Steven Spielberg had returned to the genre and subject that vaulted him into the pantheon of iconic American directors.

The filmmaker, who was responsible for bringing classics like E.T., Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Minority Report and Jurassic Park to enchanted audiences, decided to return to the fertile imaginative ground of wondering what’s Out There in the stars.

Unfortunately Spielberg’s answer, at least in 2026, is to regurgitate every conspiracy theory about aliens that the UFO enthusiast crowd has dreamed up for decades, opting for the same old while ignoring the limitless possibilities of the cosmos.

The mundanities Spielberg prefers include remarkably advanced aliens who can traverse the endless galactic void but are apparently incapable of landing spacecraft on a planet without crashing, androform extraterrestrials who look exactly like the “grays” on every kitschy Roswell tourist stop sign, and the idea that some shadowy government agency is keeping all of these wondrous revelations from us because – drum roll please – we can’t handle the truth!

A humanoid alien with large eyes and an elongated head stands between two human figures, who appear to be observing it with curiosity. The scene is dramatically lit, highlighting the alien's features.
An alien, who looks exactly like we thought it would, tells Emily Blunt and Josh O’Connor where to find the best chicken sandwich near Roswell. Credit: Universal Pictures/Amblin Entertainment

We know crop circles were invented by a pair of pranksters in the UK decades ago. We know precisely how they did it because they demonstrated the method on camera for journalists. But to Spielberg, crop circles are still distinctly alien phenomena.

We know the “UFO” footage captured by American jet pilots are exhaust plumes and visual artefacts. We know glimpses of seemingly physics-defying craft are ordinary objects rendered extraordinary because of the way gimbaled camera systems track moving objects, with their internal glass apertures and infrared glare saturating the sensors until saucer-like shapes appear.

We know the forced perspective of a camera zoomed in on a moving object, even a slow-flying weather balloon, creates an optical illusion of hypersonic speed compared to the ground. Few things have been as relentlessly held up as evidence, and as closely scrutinized by experts in every field from aeronautics to digital forensics. These are not mysteries and haven’t been for decades.

We know our very existence remains invisible to more than 99.995 percent of the galaxy because we’ve only been emitting clear technosignatures for about half a century, and there simply hasn’t been enough time for the light to reach beyond a minuscule pocket of the Milky Way.

Yet Spielberg thinks the most interesting answers aren’t to be found in the endless inky black of interstellar space, but right here in ‘Merica, in secret government files and footage of alien autopsies.

The problem is, those things aren’t interesting. We’ve heard them all a thousand times.

Disclosure Day follows two people with apparently superhuman abilities granted to them by aliens: Emily Blunt’s Margaret Fairchild, a meteorologist for the local Kansas City ABC affiliate, and Josh O’Connor’s Daniel Kellner, a former hacker turned cybersecurity expert who works for the Wardex Corporation.

Wardex is the government but it’s not the government. It has all the resources of a federal law enforcement agency like the FBI, but it masquerades as a separate entity for plausible deniability and because, we’re told, even US presidents aren’t privy to The Truth about aliens. (“Presidents are civilians in eight years” Colin Firth’s sinister Noah Scanlon says as he explains why Wardex handles all alien-related business.)

A woman in a brown sweater holds a glowing object in her hand, looking concerned. Two men stand behind her, watching intently.
Emily Blunt holds a stolen remote control from an alien flatscreen TV. Credit: Universal Pictures/Amblin Entertainment

Most of the movie involves the Wardex baddies chasing Fairchild and Kellner through a series of summer blockbuster set pieces. There are dramatic motel room escapes, a car chase that ends with our heroes leaping onto a train, secret safe houses, lots of phone and location tracing from high-tech command centers, and repeated scenes of Fed-like black Chargers rolling up on buildings.

Wardex is intent on stopping Fairchild and Kellner before they can go public with their secret stash of stolen alien videos.

Meanwhile we see glimpses of news reports about a world on the brink of nuclear annihilation. We’re not told much except that the conflict involves the Russians (of course), North Korea and perhaps other rogue states, and that everyone’s got their fingers on their respective red buttons.

Thus, disclosure is precisely what we need to end the hostilities, unite the human race and embrace our alien friends, even though our government tortured some of them after their disastrous landing attempts in American farm fields.

For the record, I do think humanity would be united by the revelation that we’re not alone in the galaxy, but I think fear would be the primary driver. There’s no fear like that of the Other, and if people hear aliens are coming, they’ll make a run on every gun shop, pharmacy and liquor store while the world’s governments huddle together to figure out the viability of nuking incoming craft in orbit.

No one wants it to get as far as “Take me to your leader,” particularly not with who’s in charge right now.

A man in a suit speaks at a podium, gesturing animatedly. In the background are American flags and draped fabric. The image contains comic-style captions quoting the speaker about aliens and trade.

If you’re a self-described UFOlogist who enjoys conspiracy theories and thinks Art Bell really was speaking to aliens on Coast to Coast AM, then this movie will be your wet dream. You were right! The aliens look exactly like they do on the sides of Alienware PCs, they absolutely suck at landing, and they burn circles into our crops after abducting us!

If you just wanted to be entertained and maybe encounter some innovative takes on non-terrestrial intelligent life, you will be sorely disappointed. Spielberg lost his magic sometime before Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull, and we just refuse to acknowledge that sad turn of events.

FBI: Felines Behind Mysterious Drones Spotted In Night Sky

Some observers believe the drone sightings are merely the first stage in an all-out feline takeover of the US. So far, cats have remained mum on their motivations, preferring instead to sow panic among Americans.

WASHINGTON –The caller was breathing heavily and speaking in rapid-fire sentences as if he had only moments to get the words out over the air.

“I’m telling you, Art, it’s the cats — the cats are piloting these drones!” the caller told Coast to Coast AM radio host Art Bell shortly after 1 am ET on Friday.

“Hold on, hold on,” Bell said theatrically. “You’re saying this has nothing to do with aliens or the government?”

The caller sighed.

“The cats may very well be in league with aliens, but I’m telling you, felines are behind…oh God! They’re here!”

The radio broadcast crackled with distorted hissing and yowling, punctuated by the caller’s pleas for mercy.

“Caller? West of the Rockies, are you there?”

The caller screamed a final time and the line went dead.

“Wow,” Bell told his audience of several million overnight listeners. “There you have it, folks. You be the judge, but that sounded like the real deal to me. Cats are piloting the mysterious drones!”

For weeks, Americans have been asking for answers about swarms of suspicious drones operating above homes, businesses, military bases and government buildings at night.

After rampant speculation that the drones could belong to rogue states, or could be part of some secret government flight test, the FBI confirmed Friday that felines are behind the frequent sightings.

Drone at night
A drone flies above a farm and ranch as the sun fades. Drones have been spotted circling chicken and turkey coops, as well as fish markets.

Biden administration officials confirmed to several media outlets that intelligence supported the theory that cats — not Iranians, Russians or some secret Pentagon operation — are operating the drone swarms that have been lighting up the night sky in states like New Jersey and Maryland for several weeks, befuddling local and state officials.

“At first we thought the idea was absurd,” said a high-ranking official, who spoke on condition of anonymity. “Then we received reports of drone swarms circling several meat-packing plants, a Chewy distribution center in Trenton, and two PetSmarts in northern New Jersey.”

So far, the felines’ motivation remains shrouded in mystery, but experts on the small, furry animals ventured guesses on what may have motivated their sudden interest in aviation and airspace.

“No one’s claimed responsibility, so we’re left to speculate,” said Norah Grayer, a feline behaviorist with NYU’s Gummitch School of Veterinary Science. “But it may be that felines, as a whole, have decided the meow is insufficient for getting their demands across. Humans have become adept at tuning out those vocalizations, so this may be the next step in an attention arms race, so to speak.”

Noted cat expert Jefferson Nebula offered a different explanation.

“Cats are notoriously subject to FOMO, which is one reason why they can’t abide closed doors,” he said. “If someone managed to convince them that we humans were holding out on them, and there are entire worlds of yums we keep for ourselves, well, that would spark the wrath of these otherwise friendly little guys.”

Cat with drone
Felines have mastered control over aerial drones despite their lack of thumbs.

For his part, Bell consulted with Michio Kaku, the physicist and science communicator who has been a regular presence on Coast to Coast.

“We physicists have been saying for decades that cats are much more intelligent than we give them credit for,” Kaku said. “This could be retribution for the Schroedinger’s cat thought experiment, or felids may be looking to surpass humanity’s understanding of 11-dimensional hyperspace.”

“Professor, we’ve spoken quite a bit about the Kardashev scale [of civilization progress] in the past,” Bell said. “If we separated human and feline societies, where would we each fall on the scale? Humans are about a zero point seven, are we not?”

“That’s right,” Kaku said. “We physicists believe humanity is on the cusp of a Type I civilization, with things like the internet as a Type I telecommunications system and fusion power on the horizon. However, if you break it down and cats were separated into their own civilization, cats could plausibly already be a Type I civilization.”

“They’re ahead of us?”

“That’s right,” Kaku said. “We physicists believe cats can tap directly into primordial energies and have mastered quantum teleportation. In Star Trek, the Federation is a Type II civilization, and the Caitians — a species of alien cats — are part of the Federation. Yet it’s widely understood that the only reason the Caitians haven’t conquered entire swaths of the galaxy, like the Borg and the Klingons, is because of their strict adherence to their napping schedule and their inherent laziness. These drone swarms may be a signal that real-life cats are fed up enough to disturb their napping schedules, in which case we should all be terrified.”

Header image of drone light show credit Wikimedia Commons