Our hero leads his crew through a perilous alien jungle to find the raw materials necessary to repair the USS Delicious.
Following the cowardly attack by the Evil Time-Lord on Capt. Buddy’s starship, the USS Delicious, our brave captain escaped by the fur of his teeth and courageously landed his trusty vessel on a mysterious planet in an uncharted star system.
Now our beloved captain must navigate the myriad hidden dangers of a dark, alien jungle as he leads his crew to locate the raw materials they’ll need to repair the USS Delicious and obtain enough reactor fuel to lift the ship into orbit once again.
But not everything is as it seems, and unseen eyes watch our hero from the murky shadows of the alien flora.
To make matters worse, the crew must ration their yums as their supplies of turkey dwindle.
Despite the considerable challenges they face, Capt. Buddy’s loyal cats endeavor to keep their spirits high as they navigate this virgin world bereft of feline scent-marking and tree-clawing. In a rousing speech, Capt. Buddy reminds his cats that all they need to do is spray a few trees and bury some poops to make this alien planet feel like home.
In Chapter 2: Earth Predator In An Alien Jungle, readers will accompany Buddy on a perilous journey that pits cats — Earth’s mightiest creatures — against the unknown horrors of this nameless, mysterious planet.
Will Capt. Buddy save his crew? Will they survive the perils of an unknown world? Will the USS Delicious reach the stars again so Capt. Buddy can replenish his supply of turkey and confront the Evil Time-Lord?
Read Chapter 2 of Buddy In Space: Earth Predator In An Alien Jungle, on newsstands May 1953 for only 5 cents! This title has been approved by the Comics Code Authority!
Jaguars figure prominently in Shadow of the Tomb Raider, which takes place primarily in the Peruvian jungle.
Lara Croft has come a long way since the days when she was the polygonal, hyper-sexualized protagonist of the early Tomb Raider games.
Thanks to a reboot the new Lara is a smart, adventurous and brave young woman voiced and motion-capped by the talented Camilla Luddington, and she’s never felt more real. In Shadow of the Tomb Raider, Lara ventures to the Peruvian jungle to chase down Mayan artifacts, and among the many obstacles in her way are jaguars.
Gorgeous, magnificent, regal jaguars who seemingly manifest out of the mist and blend back into the green inferno at will.
Here’s our new Lara, now starring in her third game:
The new Lara Croft is a fearless adventurer and archaeological expert who travels the world unearthing clues to humanity’s past.
Like previous games, her adventures revolve around archaeological digs, ancient tombs and uncovering the history of humanity one find at a time. What would a Tomb Raider adventure be without a bit of danger?
Lara crosses an underground chasm in search of a Mayan relic.
After an opening sequence, Lara and her friend Jonah head deep into the Peruvian jungle. This being Tomb Raider, they can’t land like normal people — a powerful storm sweeps in, sending their plane crashing into uncharted territory.
Lara finds herself alone, lost in the jungle without her gear. The sounds of the jungle reach a fever peach, with birds fleeing branches and monkeys howling, heralding the arrival of the apex predator of the Americas: Panthera onca, the jaguar, a name that translates to “He who kills with one bound.”
“Hey there, could you tell me how to get to Lima?”
Okay, stay calm! Remember your training! You’re face to face with an apex predator with the strongest bite force of any animal, but you can do this!
Besides, it can’t get any worse at this point.
Can it?
Oh shit. Even the monkeys are like “Dayum! Grab the popcorn!”
Don’t panic! Maybe these jaguars are just saying hello!
Or maybe not.
What’s worth noting is that these are not cut scenes — what you see here are screenshots within the game engine. For people who aren’t familiar with video games, that means you’re looking at the game itself. This is what the gameplay looks like.
We have come a long, long way from this, haven’t we?
The low-texture, low-polygon world of the original Tomb Raider games.
It’s a difference allowed by several generations’ worth of improved computer hardware and software, resulting in billions of additional polygons, millions of additional colors, improved lighting, physics, art assets, high definition textures, motion capture technology and all the little things that fuel progress from a world made from flat, blurry environments and cartoonish characters to a hyper-realistic, almost photo-quality world which makes incredible immersion possible.
Most of our readers may not be gamers, but for those who are, I’ll avoid spoilers here even though Shadow of the Tomb Raider was a 2018 release.
Suffice to say jaguars play a prominent role in the game and serve as the Big Bads, the game’s ultimate threat made even more terrifying by the knowledge that they can appear at any time and ambush our hero before she’s even aware of their presence.
Shadow of the Tomb Raider does a fantastic job of immersion, making all of the dangers of the jungle feel real through meticulously crafted visuals and sound, and a compelling story. And like everything else in life, it’s better with cats!
Kittens running around having fun. What more do you need?
Make sure you’ve stocked up on snacks and beverages, because today’s the big game.
Kansas City Chiefs vs the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the immortal vampire Tom Brady? Nah, we’re talking about the Kitten Bowl.
Like its predecessors, this year’s Kitten Bowl uses a flimsy football pretense to air the blood pressure-reducing, relaxing spectacle of a bunch of cute kittens running around a miniature arena and chasing after balls.
The program, which is a collaboration with the North Shore Animal League, pet food brands and other organizations, also serves as a TV-show-length PSA reminding people to adopt instead of buying kittens. Come late spring/early summer, every shelter will be overflowing with kittens just like the little ones in the Kitten Bowl.
The Kitten Bowl airs at 2 p.m. Eastern on the Hallmark Channel, and you can also stream it on Hallmark’s official site.
Our hero takes to the stars in this thrilling new comic adventure!
Prepare yourself for epic journeys, mystery and danger in this newest adventure starring Buddy the Cat!
Capt. Buddy of the USS Delicious was leading a routine mission to the Epsilon Eridani system when his trusty vessel was ambushed by the Evil Time-Lord! With systems going haywire, our brave captain was forced to order an emergency landing on an unknown planet in a mysterious star system.
Now it’s up to Capt. Buddy and his loyal lieutenant, Gummitch the Super Kitten, to lead his team of fearless cats on a search for raw materials to repair the USS Delicious and obtain enough reactor fuel for a return to the stars. It’s an adventure that promises thrills, danger, bizarre aliens and lots of Buddy!
Buddy In Space: Chapter 1 available at newsstands in April 1953 for just 5 cents! This title has not been approved by the Comics Code Authority.
Jamie Lynn Spears says she’s run over “I don’t want to tell you how many cats” with her Tesla because it doesn’t make enough noise.
Coronavirus. Unprecedented income inequality. Instability. Millions of religious minorities wasting away in Chinese government concentration camps.
The world is a mess right now and sometimes it’s difficult to know where to start, but thankfully Jamie Lynn Spears — unintelligible mumbler, erstwhile country music singer and younger sister of Britney — is here to set our priorities straight.
“The Tesla is a secret cat killer, and it’s a problem that we really gotta fix,” a purple-haired Spears told her followers in a video she uploaded to Instagram a few days ago.
“We have now lost — I don’t want to tell you how many cats — because they don’t hear the Tesla crank and unfortunate things happen and it’s really devastating and tragic for everyone involved,” Spears said.
Perfectly understandable. I mean, who doesn’t run over a cat or six while backing out of the driveway? And who wants to be bothered with actually caring for cats and keeping them indoors when you can tell your 2.1 million Instagram followers that a corporation is at fault?
“Like, one of those noises”
Thankfully, Jamie Lynn has a solution, which she also shared with her followers.
“So since the Tesla is so quiet, maybe you could, like, make one of those noises that, like, bother cat or animal ears when it cranks up, so that, like, they know something’s happening and they aren’t caught off guard, and things don’t end in a very tragic way,” Spears continued, indicating she’s spent a lot of time ruminating on this issue. “So, Elon Musk, let’s figure this out, B, because you owe me a couple of cats.”
Like other celebrities, Spears was apparently expecting to air her thoughts and have the entire internet break into a slow clap and say “You’re so right! Hooray for you!” And like other celebrities, Spears deleted the video and furiously backpedaled when people started questioning her claims.
Jamie Lynn Spears, net worth $6 million, sister of Britney Spears (net worth $59 million), shopping at Walmart.
The first thing people wanted to know was: Just how many cats did Jamie Lynn lose to Evil Elon Musk and the Teslarizer?
Was it 1) “I don’t want to tell you how many cats” as Spears first indicated, 2) “A couple of cats” as Spears claimed in a follow-up video, or 3) Zero cats, as Spears claimed in a follow-up post to her follow-up video?
After looking into the camera and flatly declaring that Elon Musk owes her “a couple cats,” as if they’re replaceable products, Spears wrote that she “did not run over any cats” and Tesla is “not to be blamed.”
Let’s collab, yo. I got mad ideas!
“I was only making a suggestion about something I think would be extremely helpful, and the geniuses at @Teslamotors are the best to go to for said issue,” she concluded, suggesting Tesla should contact her to “collaborate” on a solution.
We’re sure the industry-disrupting engineers and other geniuses working for Tesla would have been thrilled to collaborate with a mind of Spears’ caliber, but alas they won’t get the opportunity.
That’s because Teslas and other electric cars are already required by law to make a persistent sound when traveling at low speeds, a tweak made at the behest of the American Council of the Blind.
Although Spears got a bit shy after she didn’t receive the ovation she was expecting and refused to clarify how many cats she’s killed with her Teslas, we know the number is at least one. In another recent video, Spears’ similarly purple-haired toddler is seen saying her cat, Turkey (*sniff*), was “in heaven.”
We are sorry Turkey had the misfortune of being adopted by a living indictment of the American education system, and we hope rescue and shelter organizations within 50 miles of Spears’ trailer decline to adopt cats out to her in the future, lest they end up on Musk’s tab.
And if you think we’re being too harsh on Spears, we’d ask you: What kind of world do we live in when someone is allowed to casually kill animals through her own negligence with complete impunity? We’re talking about life here, not broken toys or kitchen appliances.
Pain In The Bud 