OPEN THE DOOR AND LET ME INSIDE, GOOD SIR. NOW I WANT TO GO BACK OUT.
Hey! Hey, I’m talking to you, human!
Yes, you!
Open the door right meow!
Didn’t we have this discussion like 26,413 times? We don’t close doors in this house!
Ah! Thank you! Now that’s better, isn’t it? The door is open and everything is just fine!
Hold on, hold on. Let’s not be too hasty. I’m not sure I want to actually go in there. Well, give me a minute! I’m deciding. Lots to think about here.
Okay, I’ve thought about it and I don’t want to go in.
No! Don’t close the door! What are you doing?! Open it! Open the door!
OPEN IT OPEN IT OPEN IT! *scratch scratch scratch scratch*
MEEEEEOOOOWWW! Open the door! You see my little paws reaching desperately under the door?
Open the — yes, thank you! Yes, I’m sure. I’m coming in this time. What do you mean, indecisive?
Okay. So I’m in here now. Watcha doing? Is that the new issue of GQ? Not really much going on in here, is there?
I mean, you’re there, just sitting there, and I’m just supposed to sit here? Yes, I realize this is technically your litter box.
I want to go out. Open the door. No, I’m serious. Let me out. I’m not waiting 10 minutes for you to finish that article, wash your hands, maybe brush your teeth. Nope.
Thanks, amigo. Ah, it’s nice to be back out again.
Actually, not really much going on out here, is there? I mean, you’re in there. I’m out here.
Okay, I wanna come back in. Can you open the door again?
Go to any store that sells camping gear and you’ll see display tents — tiny versions of the real thing, so customers can see exactly what they’re buying.
A few people, mostly employees at various sports and camping supply stories, got their hands on display tents, brought them home for their cats to use, and a trend was born when they began posting photos of their camping kitties online.
Miniature tents at a sporting goods store. Credit: Arkenzi/Reddit
The hashtag #tinytents turns up Instagram photos of cats lazing in their own tents. They’re apparently even more appealing to them than boxes, according to some cat servants whose felines are taken with the miniature camping shelters.
Because the tents are just smaller versions of real models, they’ve got all the bells and whistles, including bug netting, awnings, tie-back doors and zip-up windows. (There’s also a company that markets them at cat owners for $59.99, but you can find them for 20 bucks on TinyTent.com.)
I think I’m going to have to get one of these for Bud!
Click the thumbnails below for larger versions of the photos:
Also, we assume, known as Xherdan the Sun Eater, Xherdan the Bane of Hope, He Who Sups on Souls, and Xherdan the Earthcrusher.
The incredibly wrinkly Sphinx cat is served by a Swiss woman named Sandra Filippi, who insists the feline, despite looking like the brain of a malevolent alien, is just a big softy who enjoys cuddling and napping when he’s not talking. We’ll give Filippi the benefit of the doubt and won’t allege those talks include nefarious plans for the subjugation of the human race, but only until we get solid evidence.
Where some of us see a Lovecraftian horror from the deepest Cthulian depths, Filippi sees an adorable kitty.
“When I first saw him, he immediately stole my heart,” Filippi told the Daily Mail. “His wrinkled pink skin, as fine as a peach, and his turquoise eyes, I was in love.”
Although she doesn’t explicitly say so, it appears her cat is named after footballer Xherdan Shaqiri, a Swiss midfielder who plays for Liverpool.
We’ve taken the liberty of making some very small adjustments (barely noticeable, really) to one of Xherdan’s photos in Pixlr, just to show our readers what an excellent Evil Overlord this cat would make:
But the truth is, he doesn’t need glowing smoke coming from his eyes or dramatic lighting. He looks terrifying enough as it is:
Xherdan orders his minions to feast on the corpses of unbelievers.Xherdan grooms himself after easily reducing another human city to rubble and salting the earth it stood on.Xherdan threatens to wipe motorists from existence in a column of balefire if they don’t make way for his vehicle.
Cupid the cat finally has a home and humans who love him after suffering through an incredible ordeal when someone shot him in the head with an arrow.
Google News is a wonderful thing if you put it to good use.
A handful of alerts keep me abreast of cat-related news, arming me with potential topics and stories to share with you, the readers of Pain In The Bud.
Unfortunately when it comes to cat news, bad comes with the good. Lots of it.
For every story about lovable chonksters, cute kittens or miraculous reunions with lost cats, there are articles about dying felines rescued from hoarding situations, future serial killers torturing innocent animals and lunatics putting cats in microwaves.
Sometimes I have to stop, click off the browser and go find something to distract me from how disgusting the human race can be.
That’s why I’ve taken a pass on writing about Cupid the Cat — until now. (The story has a happy ending, thankfully.)
Last month, a Good Samaritan contacted the Animal Welfare League of Arlington, Virginia, about a stray cat suffering from a horrific injury: The poor boy had been shot in the head with an arrow, leaving the shaft protruding from the side of his face.
The cat’s rescuers dubbed him Cupid because he was found on Valentine’s Day, Feb. 14, and appealed to the public for help to cover the costs of several surgeries little Cupid would need to survive.
Despite the horrific act of violence committed against him by humans, and despite the pain he was enduring, Cupid was happy to see his rescuers, Chelsea Jones of the Animal Welfare League said.
“When he arrived and we opened his crate, we’re kind of shocked to see this cat with an arrow shaft sticking out of his face, is making biscuits …. That’s when cats knead their paws,” she said. “It’s a very comforting, positive behavior. And he was purring, and he wanted us to scratch his tummy and his chin. And we just could not believe that this cat was being so affectionate and friendly in how much pain he must be in.”
“So, it was kind of right there and then,” Jones said, “we were like, ‘We gotta call this guy Cupid.’”
Veterinarians worked for several hours to remove the arrow, clean the wound and stitch the little guy back up, putting him on antibiotics and painkillers. The arrow miraculously missed Cupid’s brain, eyes and other vital organs, but his rescuers feared he could succumb to a serious infection from the wound.
Cupid was placed on antibiotics and pain killers after his surgery. Credit: Arlington Animal Welfare League
The Animal Welfare League put out an emergency appeal for $6,500 to cover the cost of Cupid’s surgery. Well-wishers covered the cost within hours, and by week’s end the League had taken in more than $87,000, allowing it to fund life-saving surgery for two other animals in addition to Cupid.
The young cat fought hard and recovered from his wounds, and after whittling down dozens of applications to 14 finalists, the League held a drawing.
“It would be amazing if we could send him home with everyone but only one lucky person gets to take cupid home,” Jones said.
Well, two people: Cupid went home with a loving couple from the Washington, DC, area. No more cold, no more hunger, no more loneliness — and protection from the kind of horrible people who would hurt an innocent animal. Congratulations to Cupid on getting better and finding a forever home!
Cupid finally has a home — and humans — of his own after an incredible ordeal and a rough start to life. Credit: Arlington Animal Welfare League
The international feline superstar escaped unharmed, authorities confirmed.
TOKYO — Buddy was uninjured after his tour bus was besieged and overturned by a massive crowd of screaming Japanese school girls, the famous cat’s representatives said Sunday.
Buddy, who touched down Friday in Tokyo for his “Got 2 Have Turkeys” tour, was en route to a performance and album signing in Shibuya Tower Records on Saturday afternoon when his tour bus was blocked by a phalanx of paparazzi. A large crowd that had assembled outside the store gravitated toward the street, surrounding the bus and making it impossible for the vehicle to escape in reverse.
“At first it was just normal stuff: The crowd chanting for Buddy, girls throwing their bras at the windows, boys calling out for autographs,” said MC Kibble, who has been touring with Buddy as the opening act and hype cat. “But when I felt the bus lurch, I knew we were in deep litter. The shit hit the sand, so to speak, and we got jolted around pretty good when they shoved the bus onto its side.”
Ai Imajo, left, Asako Imamura and Yuki Mori react after spotting Buddy surrounded by guards and handlers at Haneda International Airport in Tokyo on Friday night.
The crowd was dispersed by Tokyo Metropolitan Police as paramedics arrived and cleared the bus. One roadie suffered a fractured rib, authorities said, but most of the occupants made it out with only a few scrapes and bruises.
An ambulance took Buddy to an undisclosed hospital, where he was discharged after only an hour.
“It was just a precautionary measure,” said the celebrity cat’s human servant, Big Buddy. “We had to make sure His Grace was in top shape before he continues his tour.”
Buddy is scheduled to perform for sold-out crowds at Saitama Super Arena on Monday and Sapporo Concert Hall in Hokkaido on Tuesday before heading to Hong Kong for the next leg of the “Got 2 Have Turkeys” tour.
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