yguara – Pain In The Bud

Amazing Cats: The Jaguarundi Is Adept, Adaptable And Mysterious

With their otter-like features, their squeaky vocalizations and their mastery of multiple environments, jaguarundis are unique in the world of cats.

Jaguarundi

Taxonomic name: Herpailurus yagouaroundi
Genus: Felis (small cats)
Size: Males weigh up to 20 lbs, with typical sexual dimorphism for felid species
Lifespan: Up to 20 years in captivity
Gestation: 75 days
Litter size: Between one and four kittens per litter
Distribution: Almost the entirety of South America as well as the southern US
IUCN Red List status: Least concern, but threatened by habitat loss

If you spot a jaguarundi in the wild, there’s a good chance you won’t know what you’re looking at.

Their sleek, elongated bodies are almost weaselesque when seen from the side, an impression made stronger by the way their heads are shaped in profile. From some angles they can strongly resemble otters, an likeness strengthened by their short, dusky coats.

But seen head-on they’re definitely cats, and even though they’re small felines — about one and a half to two times the size of domestic kitties — their facial features can be reminiscent of big cats, especially their broader noses, rounded ears and the set of their eyes.

Seen from an angle like this, jaguarundis resemble jaguar cubs:

Indeed, jaguarundi means “dark jaguar” in Old Guarani, an extinct predecessor of the Tupi family of indigenous languages that were spoken in South America for thousands of years before the arrival of the conquistadors and the Spanish language. Modern variants of the language still exist in countries like Paraguay, which may account for the enduring names of several species of western hemisphere cats. (Jaguar itself is based on the indigenous Tupi word “yguara,” and pumas have dozens of surviving names with indigenous roots to go along with their many names in English.)

As New World cats, jaguarundis boast an impressive range that stretches from southern Argentina through Latin America and into the lower US states.

Like their larger cousins, the jaguars, jaguarundis are comfortable in the water and are strong swimmers. They’re also adept hunters on land, excellent climbers, and they’re impressively sure-footed while traversing branches high above ground level.

In short, the adaptable felines can just about do it all.

Note the otter-like appearance of the jaguarundi head in side profile.

In the wild, jaguarundis have been known to hunt prey as large as small deer and help themselves to seafood snacks when the mood strikes them, but analyses of their diets shows they have a strong preference for mammals, particularly a variety of wild rodents found in dense jungles and forests.

Jaguarundis don’t just look different compared to other cats — they sound different as well.

Conservationists call the jaguarundi’s vocalizations “whistles” and “chirps,” but to us they sound more like squeaks.

Take a listen for yourself:

It’s illegal under the Big Cat Public Safety Act to keep jaguarundis as pets, and the jaguarundi curl, a breed meant to mimic the appearance of the jaguarundi, is not related to the wild cat.

While they’re known to range in Texas and Arizona, sightings of jaguarundis are rare. From a distance their movement looks almost indistinguishable from those of house cats, and they’re famously elusive — by the time most people do a double take, the shy felines have disappeared into tall grass, brush or jungle.

Images via Wikimedia Commons

Previously:

Amazing Cats: The Mysterious Marbled Cat
Amazing Cats: The Rusty-Spotted Cat
Amazing Cats: ‘He Who Kills With One Bound’
Amazing Cats: The Puma

Amazing Cats: The Sunda Clouded Leopard

Amazing Cats: The Adorable Colocolo, Feline of the Pampas

Amazing Cats: The ‘Fire Tiger’ Is The Stuff Of Legend

Amazing Cats: Ocelots Love Trees, Water And Calvin Klein’s Obsession For Men

Amazing Cats: Pallas Cats Are The Grumpy Little Hobbits Of The Feline World

Buddy Scores Meowscular Victory Over Vakuum, That Infernal Machine

Vakuum, the terror of many a cat, was put on notice by Buddy’s display of astonishing bravery. If AI and robots ever try to take over the Earth, Buddy is a natural choice to lead the combined armies of cats and men to victory over the machines.

NEW YORK — Buddy the Cat was particularly pleased with himself on Thursday after he successfully scared off one of his mortal enemies by using his powerful roar.

The gray tabby cat had just finished his second Food O’Clock meal of the day and was settling down for 5th Nap when the infernal machine known as Vakuum the Disturberizer encroached upon the Buddesian domicile and began its high-pitched shriek.

While previously he’d hiss at the accursed machine and retreat to the safety of the bedroom, Buddy decided to put his paw down, sources said. It was time to make a stand.

buddyvsvacuum — The heroic sequence of events that led to Vakuum beating a hasty retreat.

Rising up to his full height of almost a foot, Buddy let loose a mighty, blood-curdling roar — and was shocked when Vakuum immediately stopped making its pestiferous racket.

“That machine took one look at me and decided it didn’t want a piece of this,” Buddy said, his primordial pouch jiggling as he flexed. “It helps to be a meowscular and intimidating cat, you know. We jaguars are quite ferocious when we need to be.”

A spokescat for the Yguara Nation of the Americas confirmed that while Buddy is an honorary jaguar and was bestowed the name Kinich Bajo, meaning “Tiny Sun-Eyed One,” he is not in fact an actual jaguar.

Buddy Terrorizes Block With Reluctant Jaguar Pal

With some muscle to back him up, Buddy the Cat becomes the scourge of the neighborhood.

NEW YORK — Taking refuge from the heat of an unusually humid early June day, cats and dogs alike were gathered around the neighborhood’s most popular watering hole when their quiet lapping was disturbed by a kittenish, falsetto-like meow.

“Coming through!” Buddy the Cat yelled. “Make way!”

The silver tabby ordered everyone to “vacate the premises,” declaring the water his “personal drinking spot.” One of the toughest cats on the block, a battle-scarred orange tom named Buster, continued drinking.

“Ahem!” Buddy said loudly. “Perhaps you didn’t hear me. Vacate the pond, Buster!”

Buster eyed Buddy derisively. “Or else what, pip squeak?”

Buddy pretended to file his claws nonchalantly.

“Or else my jaguar is not going to be happy,” Buddy replied.

Buster began laughing, then caught sight of the enormous apex predator and backed up warily.

“That’s right!” Buddy said. “Back up if you don’t want to become a light snack, Buster!”

Ek B’alam, Buddy’s jaguar friend, raised a paw sheepishly.

“Um, do we have to threaten violence? I’m not interested in hurting…”

“Shhhh! Yes, yes we do have to threaten them!” Buddy whispered. “Let’s see that intimidating pose you do…great, now roar!”

The jaguar let loose a primal rumble, sending every cat, dog, bird and squirrel within a mile running for cover.

After enjoying a leisurely drink with the pond to themselves, Buddy and Ek B’alam took a lazy route to a nearby dog park where the pair terrorized a pitbull and a gang of Dobermans.

Witnesses said Buddy strolled into the Doberman circle, needled the dogs with insults and told them they’d have to hand over their treats promptly or face dire consequences.

“Oh yea?” the canine leader said, his tail twitching with anticipation. “Says who?”

“Says my jaguar!” Buddy said theatrically, holding both paws out like a magician.

The dogs paused, looked at each other and laughed uproariously.

“Get outta here, you pudgy little…oh! Oh! He’s really got a jag…I mean, I d-d-didn’t…”

Buddy feigned indifference as Ek B’alam padded out from behind a tree. The dogs emptied their bladders.

“You were saying something about me being pudgy, weren’t you? We don’t like insulting little mutts, do we, Ek B’alam?”

“No, we do not, Buddy,” the big cat replied.

“Sometimes we eat them for breakfast, don’t we, Ek B’alam?”

“Yes we do, Buddy. Better than bacon and eggs, with an agreeable aftertaste!”

The dogs whimpered, tails between their legs.

“Leave your toys and treats and scram!” Buddy said, making the canines flinch as he faked a leap toward them.

“You were right, this is kinda fun!” Ek B’alam said as he ate the dogs’ snacks. “Who do we terrorize next?”

Buddy rested his chin on his right paw thoughtfully.

“We could rob Los Gatos of every ounce of catnip they possess. We could put the fear of God into those ‘hunters’ who shoot at our puma buddies. I also have a revenge list of everyone who ever insulted me on the internet. That could be fun!”

As of late Tuesday night, local police scanner frequencies were buzzing with reports of two cats, one small and the other enormous, gleefully tearing apart industrial vacuum cleaners at a nearby Stanley Steemer shop.