Merry Christmas From The Buddies

Santa Claws is coming to town.

Merry Christmas from the Buddies!

We will be with our extended family on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Buddy won’t be at the large family gatherings on Christmas Eve (allergic family members) or Christmas Day (three pooches will be present and obviously you can’t have a Buddinese tiger walking loose, for the dogs’ protection), but he will get to participate in the Christmas morning gift-giving among immediate family, he’ll get leftovers and he’s already had quite a bit of excitement with my nieces around.

PITB Christmas 2023
We have Santa Claus, cats have Santa Claws. He’s chonky.

We hope all of you are able to be with family or friends this holiday, and that your gathering is delicious. Cookie spreads are important, people! It’s not all about hors d’oeuvres and main courses. You’ve gotta go out with a bang! And make turkey so the leftovers can be taken home to your cat, of course.

Thanks for helping PITB — and Buddy’s legend — grow in 2023. We’re looking forward to 2024 when Bud will continue his quest for world domination.

buddies_handprints

Cat On The Street: How’s Your Holiday Season Going?

Six cats get in on the holiday spirit and tell us all about their participation in the seasonal festivities!

It’s a magical time of year when people spread cheer, give gifts, throw parties and generally act festive, often with the help of alcoholic beverages.

But Christmas, Hannukah and New Year’s aren’t just for humans! Felines are invited to join the festivities too. We found six kittens who look adorable wearing their ugly Christmas sweaters and asked them how their holidays are going so far:

Shadow

“‘Wear the sweater,’ she said. ‘It’ll look cute,’ she said. ‘People will love seeing you on our Christmas card!’ she said. I shall have my revenge soon enough.”

Bubbles

“I was told there would be snacks. If I don’t start seeing some Temptations soon, the claws are gonna come out!”

Creamy

“That eggnog stuff looks interesting. Pour a bowl for me, would you, human?”

Big Al

“They said I’d get coal in my stocking if I didn’t put the sweater on. Would Santa truly be so cruel?”

Timmy

“If you humans have to drink alcohol just to tolerate each other’s company, how do you think I feel? Crack out the catnip this instant!”

Nala

“I count 86 objects that could be swatted off that tree. You humans would do well to remember that.”

Buddy The Cat’s Christmas Songbook

Buddy the Cat sings holiday and Christmas classics from a feline perspective.

Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, I am going to destroy you!
Oh Christmas tree, oh Big Buddy, I am going to annoy you!
Got yummies in my bowl to taste, and ornaments and lights to break
Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, I am going to destroy you!

Your branches point so high and straight
Just begging for a swipe to take
Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree
I will annihilate you!

Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, how lovely are your branches?
Oh Christmas tree, oh Big Buddy, I am going to faceplant it!
The Hallmarks will shatter and break, I’ll make disaster of this place
Oh Christmas tree, oh Big Buddy, I am going to annoy you!

You sparkle like the morning dew
Look mangled when I’m done with you
Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree
What fun it is to wreck stuff!

averybuddychristmas_01

 

Buddy’s Favorite Things

Temps in my bowlses and snacks in the kitchen
Taunting the street cats and smacking some kittens
Leaving the neighbor’s dog tied up in strings
These are a few of my favorite things!

Bubble wrap, peanuts and UPS boxes
4 a.m. zooms when I scream like a rocket
Waking my human with songs that I sing
These are a few of my favorite things!

At nail clip time, things I dislike
When I’m really mad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don’t feel so bad!

Calico booties and slices of Gouda
Ambushing like I’ve been launched by bazooka
No consequences ’cause I am the king
These are a few of my favorite things!

Screeching in anguish at doors closed between us
Shattering Wise Men and statues of Jesus
I helped myself to the buffalo wings
These are a few of my favorite things!

Meow at my bowl as if I’ve been forgotten
Screeching in panic ’cause I see the bottom
Gorging on kibble till I am puking
These are a few of my favorite things!

When I’m told no, ’cause I broke those
When my dad is mad
I’ll get away with my favorite things
Because I’m a real cute cat!

averybuddychristmas_3(1)

It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Everywhere I look
Take a look at the Christmas tree, it’s been redesigned by me
And the lights are broken!

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Coal in every sock
It’s beginning to look a bit like I’ve had too much catnip
And now I’m dizzy!

A Santa Claws surprise and a Roomba for me to ride
Is the wish of Buddy the Cat
A box to take a nap and another to take a crap
What do you think of that?
And my human can hardly wait for vacation!

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas
With every wrap I shred
Now it’s nap time for me, underneath the Christmas tree
Then I’ll demand treats!

christmascat3

Twelve Days of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas
My human gave to me
A can of delicious turkey

On the second day of Christmas
My human gave to me
Two window perches
And a can of delicious turkey

On the third day of Christmas
My human gave to me
Three cozy boxes
Two window perches
And a can of delicious turkey

On the fourth day of Christmas
My human gave to me
Four kneading blankets
Three cozy boxes
Two window perches
And a can of delicious turkey

On the fifth day of Christmas
My human gave to me
Five golden bowls
Four kneading blankets
Three cozy boxes
Two window perches
And a can of delicious turkey

On the sixth day of Christmas
My human gave to me
Six Chewy orders
Five golden bowls
Four kneading blankets
Three cozy boxes
Two window perches
And a can of delicious turkey

On the seventh…zzzz…
…zzzz…

Hey, Bud?

…zzz…turkeh…zzzz…

Bud!

…zzz…

Well, it looks like the catnip and tryptophan have done their thing and the little guy is asleep, dreaming of turkey and presents. Don’t worry, he’ll be singing these songs for five more days. Five more days?!?! Ugh…

 

merrybudmas

Buddy’s Letter To Santa Claws: A Very Roomba Christmas

Buddy only wants one thing this Christmas.

Dear Santa Claws,

Hi, this is Buddy the Good Boy from New York!

Please help me, Santa! For the past four years I’ve been asking my Big Buddy for a Roomba for Christmas, and every Christmas morning I have been disappointed when there is no Roomba beneath the tree. 😦

What is a Roomba? I’m glad you asked! A Roomba is a round robot made for cats, so we can have fun riding around the house! You just sit on top of it, and it moves all over the place! There are lots of videos on the MewTube showing cats having fun on their Roombas.

I am such a good boy. I finish my food most of the time, I only scratch the couch a little bit, and I haven’t destroyed anything valuable in almost three months! And if Big Buddy told you about the time I puked on his my bed, well that was an accident, okay? I usually puke on the carpet like a civilized cat.

Please, Santa, the only thing I want this year is a Roomba!

Your friend,

Buddy

PS: Look at how much fun it is!