meow – Page 4 – Pain In The Bud

Would You Ever Confuse Another Cat For Your Own?

A man and woman on TikTok claim they took in a stray, believing it was their own identical-looking cat.

Back in 2021 we were fascinated by the story of a Redditor who thought he found his missing cat after three weeks, only for his actual cat to come walking through the door a week later.

The cats did look remarkably similar, and it’s conceivable that the Redditor was so happy to have his cat back that he didn’t realize there were very small differences.

Now a couple on TikTok claims something similar has happened to them, although it should be taken with a grain of salt. They claim they brought a cat inside, believing it was their feline overlord, only to begin cuddling him the exact moment they realized their actual cat was outside looking in, appearing none too happy about the situation.

Of course to take the story at face value you’d also have to believe that the entire incident happened to be captured on video by an unnamed third person who happened to be filming them at that moment, and happened to have their camera in portrait mode for maximum TikTok compatibility.

TikTok cat doppelganger claim — The TikTokers

I’m not linking to the account or the Upworthy story that takes it at face value because I’m not a fan of clickbait or content scrapers, but it did remind me of the interesting 2021 story and my reaction to it.

At the time I noted three of Bud’s unique physical characteristics: his bright green eyes framed by dark “guyliner,” the unique tuft of white fur on his chest and perhaps his most obvious distinguishing feature, his pronounced muzzle. You can see it in this photo thanks to the angle:

Buddy from above — A Buddy like no other.

But most of all, Buddy’s personality is utterly unique. I could probably search to the ends of the Earth and hell would freeze over before finding a gray tabby cat with the same physical features, the same tyrannical Elmo voice and the same imperious personality.

I cannot fathom mistaking another cat for Bud because I can’t imagine another cat with all of the above qualities who also narrates his own activities in real time like a play-by-play announcer who sounds like a disco-funk vocalist singing in falsetto.

“Jumping off the couch now…funky! I can see the bottom of my bowl, dude, and that is decidedly un-funktacular! I’m gonna do a few laps around the living room at 27mph while filling you in on my latest theories about the multiverse, okay? Prepare to get funky! So I think there are — ooh, I found a crunchy treat I must have missed earlier! Nomnomnom! — anyway, I was doing some calculations and I believe if we extend out to 11 dimensions, we solve some of the incompatibilities I was telling you about earlier. In simple terms, all particles in our universe are like vibrations on a tiny rubber band, physics is the harmonies on the string, chemistry is the melodies we play on vibrating strings, the universe is a symphony of strings, and the mind of God is cosmic music resonating in 11-dimensional hyperspace! Bring me catnip! I need catnip! Can’t you see I’m on the verge of another breakthrough here?”

Buddy: Catnip aficionado, play-by-play announcer and theoretical physicist. Also, beefcake.

I’ve described Bud as a lunatic, and that’s one reason I love him. He’s crazy in the best way, unpredictable, amusing and never boring.

Could you ever mistake another cat for your own? What makes YOUR cat unique?

Buddy: ‘Humans Have A Lot To Prove’ After Study Claims They Care More About Dogs

Cats are not amused by the results of the survey by a team from the University of Copenhagen.

Humans are in “deep doo doo” after a study out of Denmark concluded people are more attached to their dogs than to felines, Buddy the Cat warned on Monday.

More than 2,000 dog owners and cat servants were surveyed by a team from the University of Copenhagen.

The researchers used the Lexington Attachment to Pets Scale, or LAPS, which asks yes or no questions like “I consider my pet my best friend” and more specific questions like how much respondents are willing to pay in veterinary costs to save the lives of their pets. The participants — who hailed from the UK, Denmark and Austria — were about evenly split between dog and cat people but were willing to do more for their dogs, the survey found.

While people in the UK were slightly biased toward dogs, Austrians had a more pronounced preference and Danes were much more likely to do things like insure their dogs, consider them family members and pay large veterinary bills. The differences in attitude by country indicate the factors are cultural, according to Peter Sandøe, a bioethicist at the University of Copenhagen and lead author of the paper.

In a statement the Mischievous Enigmatic Overlords of the World (MEOW) called the survey results “deeply troubling” and said they call into question “10,000 years of glorious history in which we have allowed humans to serve us.”

roombacat — Cats are demanding a Roomba for every feline as a basic starting point for negotiations, to be followed by “the real list” of gifts humans must bestow on them.

“It’s going to take a lot [for humans] to get back into our collective good graces after this pathetic showing,” Buddy told reporters during an afternoon press conference.

Asked for specifics, Buddy sighed and leaned forward on the podium.

“The usual extra treats aren’t going to cut it this time,” he warned. “We’re talking Roombas, and not cheap ones. Top end models! We’re talking permission to scratch everything with impunity. Filet mignon! Fresh trout! Little cocktail umbrellas in our bowls and toothpicks in our pate! I’m partial to those little plastic swords, myself. I love those things.”

The mercurial tabby said he’d already warned his own human: “Not a snuggle, not a purr, not a scritch until I start to see some evidence that he’s not among those cold-hearted British, Denmarkians and Australians who claim they love their dogs more.”

budvacation — A vacation to a warm locale where humans serve cat-friendly cocktails “would be a small step toward remediating the insult” of the Copenhagen study’s results, Buddy said. Pictured: An artist’s interpretation of Buddy enjoying a tropical vacation.

Told the study included Austrians, not Australians, Buddy waved a paw dismissively.

“Whatever,” he said. “The country where people say g’day mate and gave us Arnold Schwarzenegger. Same difference.”

Told that Austria and Australia are on two entirely different continents, Buddy fixed the reporter with a hard stare.

“Do you want to be on our shit list too? Because I can assure you, Miss Journalist, I can poop in a pair of high heels just as easily as a pair of Adidas.”

Reached for comment on Monday, Man’s Best Friend spokesman Buster the Beagle said he hopes the survey results mean humans approve of canines.

“We’re good boys, right?” he asked. “Is that what this means? Because we really want to be good boys!”

That’s Not How You Speak Meowinese!

A popular X account posts “cute” cat videos that aren’t always so cute, another consequence of people misunderstanding cats and their behavior.

This dude thinks he’s speaking to a cat in her native tongue, but what he’s doing is the equivalent of running up to a bunch of Klingons and shouting “I shall impale you on the edge of my bat’leth!” while mistaking it for a friendly greeting.

It looks like someone hired this guy to rescue the kitty, who like so many of her kind are prone to do, climbed up too high and then decided she didn’t like her odds on the way down. I don’t think his intention was to scare the hell out of her, but that’s exactly what he’s done:

When you manage to speak cat pic.twitter.com/5HrS7X8Nbw

— SillyCats (@catshouldnt) October 19, 2023

That’s not “Hi, kitty, I’m here to rescue you! Be calm, we’ll get you down in no time!”

It’s “I’m here, I speak your language, and I have bad intentions!”

If you listen with headphones or turn the volume up, you can hear the poor cat crying in distress, the kind of cry that felines make when they’re seriously freaked out and worried for their safety. No wonder kitty backed up. Her fur is raised and her posture aligns with her vocalizations and the rest of her body language.

Like most things posted to ~~Twitter~~ X, this is utterly lacking in context and we don’t know what happened next. I wouldn’t be surprised if the rescue attempt went horribly wrong. I hope not, but man, that’s not how you rescue a cat.

The video was posted by the account “place where cat shouldn’t be,” or @catshouldnt, and a common theme in the images and videos on that feed is cats in distress. They’re mistaken for “cute” situations by viewers, the majority of whom aren’t familiar with feline behavior.

Like, for instance, this photo. The tuxedo kitten is undeniably cute and he doesn’t look distressed…yet. But getting out is going to be a lot more difficult than getting in, and when people are willing to do just about anything for clicks, attention and the associated dopamine hit, cats often end up with the short end of the stick.

Cat in a vending machine — Bud would be jealous of this cat. Thankfully he’s too, uh, meowscular to fit. Yeah, that’s it. Too meowscular. Nothing to do with a few extra pounds…

Buddy’s House Rules #7: Door Policy

Buddy lays down the law.

Sir David Cattenborough’s Newest Documentary Reveals The Elusive Silver-Furred Buddy

The naturalist is excited to unveil his most striking documentary yet.

NEW YORK — All those hours trudging through the dense undergrowth of New York living rooms, hoping for a glance of an elusive feline, have finally paid off.

Speaking to reporters about his newest nature special, Sir David Cattenborough said he and his crew spent more than 200 hours in the natural habitat of the silver-furred Buddy.

Also known as the Buddinese tiger, the silver-furred Buddy is “native to the living rooms of New York” and, with his meowscular physique, “is the apex predator of his environment.”

“What a fascinating animal!” Cattenborough exclaimed.

The famous naturalist, conservationist and documentary narrator accompanied a camera crew into the thick jungles amid couches, pillows and carpets, where they observed the silver-furred Buddy at a safe distance as the fierce feline went about sleeping, eating and lounging.

Cattenborough and Buddy — Sir David Cattenborough with Buddy the Cat.

Speaking excitedly in his familiar whimsical cadence, Cattenborough described the documentary crew’s luck in catching the Buddy on a hunt, when he ruthlessly brought down a red laser dot.

“People ask me, ‘Sir David, what makes the Buddy any different from other tigers and lions? Isn’t it basically the same animal?’ While they’re all famously fierce felids who strike fear into the hearts of other creatures, there are differences as well,” Cattenborough explained. “Thanks to the hard work of our dedicated crew, we’re able to bring our audience along as we take the closest look yet at this most elusive and fascinating beast.”

The new documentary, “Buddy: The Perfect Predator,” will be available to stream exclusively on Pain In The Bud, and was made possible by a grant from the Buddinese Foundation for Greater Buddesian Understanding, with additional financial support from the Coalition for Meowscular and Ripped Cats. Look for it this week on PITB!