Tag: Feline Overlords

Critics Heap Praise On PITB, The Web’s Greatest Cat Blog

Entering its sixth year as the most incredibly awesome cat blog in the universe, PITB continues to chronicle the amazing adventures of Buddy the Cat.

It looks like 2025 is shaping up to be quite a year!

Flow won an Oscar, the Yankees are primed for mediocrity, this is the year Nostradamus predicted we’d get those awesome hoverboards from Back To The Future, and PITB will turn six years old in the summer!

Can you believe it? Six years of thrilling millions of readers with stories of Buddy’s incredible adventures, covering the most important cat news and setting all the hot new trends in the cat world!

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LITTLEBUDDYTHECAT.COM: The elegant choice for discerning cat lovers.

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Critics have lavished praise on PITB:

“You won’t find two more reprehensible characters. The ill-mannered cat who’s always hatching ludicrous schemes and the human who glorifies him. They don’t have two neurons to rub together between them.” – WIRED

“Incredible! Buddy the Cat is the most dashing, dapper and daring feline on the planet, and his fans are fortunate to read about his thrilling exploits!” – Buddy Monthly (starred review)

“Two of the worst representatives of their respective species. Fate smiled cruelly upon the world when these two joined forces. Thankfully their epic incompetence prevents them from taking over.” – The Guardian

“A titan of the feline world and his human sidekick, the Buddies join forces — and combine their considerable mental resources — for the betterment of feline- and mankind. Is there anything Buddy can’t do? That’s a rhetorical question, by the way.” – The Buddy Review of Awesome Felines

“A chubby house cat who thinks he’s a tiger and a human whose writerly ambitions far exceed his talents. Both live in a fantasy world that puts them one harebrained scheme from fame and fortune. If PITB had a print edition we’d recommend it as a birdcage liner.” – The New York Times

“Buddy is an 80s action hero in furry form, a one-cat army whose skill in martial arts is matched only by his razor-sharp wit. We feel privileged to read about his many adventures.” – The Buddinese Shinbun

“The blog works mostly as a celebration of a delusional cat’s ego.” – Associated Press

“Astonishing! With clever and awe-inspiringly beautiful prose, Big Buddy is like a bard expanding the legend of our furry little hero with every post. It’s no wonder Taylor Swift’s cat loves Buddy the Cat so much and wants to share her vast fortune with him.” – El Magnifico Buddenisto

“Buddy the Cat is a legend in his own mind, where his chubby frame becomes ‘meowscle’ and his half-baked plots become ‘genius.’ In that depraved little mind exists a world where kittens plaster his posters on their walls, female cats fight for his affections, and humans argue over who should have the privilege of serving him. Somehow, both cat and human labor under the misconception that what they’re doing is ‘humor,’ but they’re both morons.” – Newsweek

“Like the contents of a particularly foul litter box upended and assembled into crude approximations of words.” – Pitchfork

“Compulsively readable and addicting, like Michael Crichton on crack. Come to think of it, why isn’t there an amusement park based on Buddy and his legend? That’s a billion-dollar idea!”- The Daily Buddy

“Shunned by tigers, nearly murdered by lions, chased out of the White House by thousands of angry Americats and laughed at by rodents. Buddy’s track record is one of infamy and failure, and he’s not cute enough to make up for it. Avoid this blog like the COVID ward of your local hospital.” – The Economist

“So handsome, so kawaii! Budditsu-chan is dreamy!” – CrunchyRoll

“Immature, asinine and frankly offensive, [PITB] chronicles the ‘adventures’ of its titular feline, a delusional lunatic who harbors a single-minded obsession with turkey. When they’re not eating paste or laughing at their own poop jokes, the Buddies are probably smoking catnip, for only drug-addled idiots will find their ‘humor’ amusing.” – GQ

Buddy Issues Sanctions Against Human In Diplomatic Row Over Meal Variety

Dissatisfied with the limited variety of flavors and textures in his regular meal rotation, Buddy the Cat unveiled a sweeping new sanctions package designed to force his human to do better.

NEW YORK — Angry over his servant’s failure to broaden his selection of regular meals, Buddy the Cat announced new sanctions on Saturday aimed at forcing the uncooperative human to comply.

“President Buddy feels he’s been patient and magnanimous in dealing with his human’s shortcomings, but even a saint’s patience has limits,” Buddy’s spokesman told reporters. “This new sanctions package clearly communicates President Buddy’s disappointment and ensures swift compliance.”

The sanctions include prohibitive measures against sleep duration and quality, with Buddy promising to yowl at regular intervals and to wake his human by slapping him in the face every morning.

In addition, affection will be cut by 50 percent, increasing to 75 percent within two weeks if there is no improvement in the variety of flavors and textures of wet food served to Buddy.

“Buddy has made it clear that he expects more than a simple rotation of turkey, chicken and salmon pate,” the feline’s spokesman said. “He wants chunky tuna, he wants beef, he wants shredded duck served in gravy.”

President Buddy had threatened to pull his ambassadors and enact legislation declaring all shoes, sneakers and boots as legal litter boxes if the cheese sharing protocol was not observed. Credit: Wikimedia Commons

The latest round of sanctions follows the Buddesian Diplomatic Crisis of 2023, when Buddy threatened to begin using his Big Buddy’s shoes, boots and sneakers as litter boxes in retaliation for the latter failing to “equitably share cheese as per article IV, sub-clause C of the gastronomic distribution protocol.”

All-out war was avoided when both parties agreed that Little Buddy’s share of Gouda, American, provolone and other cheeses, excluding ricotta, feta and mozzarella, would be increased by 15 percent.

LISTEN: The Buddies Release Their Worldwide Smash No. 1 Single!

Buddy the Cat’s quest for world domination has moved into the realm of music. Listen to the new single here!

NEW YORK — Buddy the Cat made history as the first feline to top the charts in multiple genres this week with the release of “Move Your Ass” by The Buddies.

Listen to it here, but before you do, make room to get funky. (“And use proper headphones or speakers please!” Buddy says. “Don’t do us dirty by playing it through a phone or a laptop. You’ll miss all the bassy goodness that makes it funky!”)

The incredibly funktacular nu-disco track pays homage to the talented feline, who played guitar, bass, keyboards and percussion, while his human assisted him with certain particulars that required an opposable thumb.

“Obviously I could have done this on my own,” Buddy says, “but I like my human to feel like he’s involved in things, you know? Camaraderie and all that. But for future documentaries, ‘Behind the Music’ episodes and other retrospectives, it should be clear I’m the musical genius and the talent. The brains and the brawn, so to speak. Also the beauty. Obviously.”

“Move Your Ass” hit the top of Japan’s pop charts after an early release on Jan. 20 in that country, while it’s dominated the dance music charts in Luxembourg, the Principality of Sealand, Monaco and France. After its Jan. 30 release in the US and UK, it was steadily climbing the charts on Spotify and terrestrial radio.

Asked about his musical influences, Buddy waxed poetic about the funk, disco, French house and nu-disco he grew up listening to.

“From my earliest days of kittenhood, I remember Big Buddy playing Earth, Wind and Fire, Kool and the Gang, McFadden and Whitehead, The Brothers Johnson, Daft Punk, the Galactik Knights and Televisor. I love Televisor! I would dance around and joyfully smack my human on the head, then go hide in his shoes.”

Buddy’s already hard at work on his next single, which he promises “will be just as delicious as this one.”

‘The Sexiest Beast Of Them All’: Buddy The Cat Joins OnlyFans!

Health authorities said thousands of female cats around the world fainted when they heard the news that Buddy the Cat is launching his very own OnlyFans.

After resisting calls from his admirers for years, Buddy the Cat has finally joined OnlyFans.

“It’s a dream come true,” said Nala, 5, a Burmese who describes herself as “Buddy’s biggest fan.”

Other felines posted celebratory messages online after the news broke, with most expressing an intent to subscribe to Buddy’s OnlyFans “no matter how much he charges.”

“A dollar a month, ten bucks a month, a hundred bucks a month, it doesn’t matter. It’s worth it,” said Penny, a puma who said she has posters of Buddy in her enclosure at a wildlife sanctuary. “Buddy is the sexiest beast of them all.”

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A sizzling snap of Buddy being sizzling for his new OnlyFans site.

Buddy’s new OnlyFans site promises “sizzling snaps of Buddy napping,” “hot photos of him yawning and stretching,” and regular videos of the mercurial tabby being handsome.

“Finally, my fans can get more Buddy without having to read that stupid blog my human writes,” Buddy wrote in his announcement. “It’s full of ridiculous slander, vile lies and claims that I’m wimpy when everyone knows I’m, like, brave and stuff.”

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As of Friday, the new site featured a handful of clearly photoshopped images of the gray tabby with bulging muscles as he lifted weights, and a poorly produced video depicting the diminutive feline “ambushing” a stuffed alligator, with the sounds of a jaguar dubbed into the footage.

“Just catching me some lunch!” Buddy captioned the clip. “Us apex predators don’t eat from a can, we hunt our own meals.”

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Buddy the Cat poses in a box, striking a handsome pose as he gazes yonder.

There was no sign that questions about the veracity of the images bothered the egotistical feline’s admirers.

“OMG ADORBZ!” commenter princess2017 wrote.

“My handsome little prince!” wrote another poster, LioNeSS, who also added several heart and turkey emojis.

Soon after Buddy’s OnlyFans launch, it was announced that Smudge, his arch-nemesis, signed a deal to create a show about his life for Netflix. Titled “Smudge: New York’s Most Heroic Cat,” the series will “follow Smudge as he fights for truth and justice against the evil Dubby the Cat, a chubby gray tabby with an inflated ego.”