Feline Overlords – Page 49

Knighted By The Queen, Buddy Becomes Sir Buddy

Buddy, a close friend of Queen Elizabeth II, is now known as Sir Buddington, KBE.

LONDON – Call him sir!

Buddy the Cat was officially knighted on Friday during a ceremony at Buckingham Palace, granting him the title Knight of the British Empire and making him the most-honored cat in the Anglosphere since Able Seaman Simon, the decorated ship’s cat who was injured aboard the HMS Amethyst in 1949.

It’s unusual for an American to be knighted and unprecedented for a cat to be elevated to knighthood, but Buddy was honored “for his innumerable contributions to human-feline understanding, unprecedented innovations in the art of napping, and status as tastemaker supreme in the world of delicious snacks,” according to the Central Chancery of the Orders of Knighthood at St James’s Palace.

Buddy has become a trusted confidante of Queen Elizabeth II, royal insiders noted, and the two speak by telephone for at least 15 minutes each week.

“Her Majesty grew to appreciate Sir Buddy’s counsel in trying times,” a palace insider said. “In return, she advised Sir Buddy to keep a stiff upper lip during the Great Turkey Shortage of early 2021.”

Palace sources say the queen refers to her feline friend as “my dearest Buddington,” and often addresses him by the familiar “Bud-Bud.” Sir Buddy is also said to be close with Prince William.

EvW67UwXIAE7pUc — Official portrait of Sir Buddy, KBE. Credit: Royal portraitist Eldar Zakirov.

In addition to the knighthood, which entitles the American cat to refer to himself as Sir Buddy, KBE, the Crown gifted holdings including a cat-size palace on Buckingham grounds, as well as a country estate in Oxfordshire.

The estate’s central manor, Budsworth House, has 32 rooms, 86 couches, a dozen fireplaces and at least 16 antique litter boxes. The grounds are home to sprawling gardens featuring feline-centric statuary and boxes made of stone, as well as guest cottages for human and feline visitors.

lionsimonds — One of 14 statues of Sir Buddy that decorate the grounds and gardens of Budsworth House.

Rumors that Sir Buddy would be created Buddy, Earl of Buddington, did not come to fruition, although royal experts say an earldom is not off the table for the Queen’s favorite feline.

“Her Majesty is quite fond of Bud-Bud and was delighted when a parcel arrived with a Christmas card and a framed photograph of the two of them together,” a palace sources said. “In fact, Prince George and Princess Charlotte refer to Sir Buddy as ‘Uncle Bud-Bud.’ So in a sense, Sir Buddy is already part of the family.”

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Jennifer Garner Is A Good Cat Mom

A video of Garner bathing her cat shows she really loves the little guy.

We’re not big on celebrity stuff here on Pain In The Bud, but we’ll make an exception for Jennifer Garner, her cat Moose and The Case of the Relentless Klingon.

The entirely ghastly ordeal unfolds on video (below) as the Alias star takes, uh, matter into her own hands when Moose’s business gets stuck in his fur.

“Something’s gone awry,” Garner says in the beginning of the clip before whispering into the camera. “Moose pooped his pants … He’s befouled!”

Garner proceeds to lift Moose into the kitchen sink, alternately praising him and saying she feels bad giving him a bath because he’s the nicest cat she’s ever had. At first Moose endures it like a champ, seemingly resigned to getting scrubbed and having the offending piece of poop removed from his long coat.

“There’s something caught,” Garner says as she struggles to free the Klingon from a tangle of fur. “I know, Moose. I’m so sorry!”

But it’s all too much for Moose, who doesn’t want to wait for Garner to wash the soap out of his fur and grows increasingly impatient. After Garner tells him to hang in just a little longer and second guesses herself (“What would my mom do?”), Moose has finally had enough and delivers a paw smack to Garner’s cheek, then lets his claws do the talking.

“I don’t blame him,” she says later as she bleeds from claw wounds to her neck.

It’s clear Garner loves the little guy. The actress, a known cat lover, has been photographed walking with Moose in a stroller, and starred in 2016’s Nine Lives, a movie about a cat who was unfortunately voiced by Kevin Spacey less than a year before he became persona non grata in the wake of the Harvey Weinstein scandal and the #MeToo movement.

This video of Jennifer Garner bathing her cat takes up at least 1/4 of my mental real estate. pic.twitter.com/bBK00zR274

— isabel alcántara (@isa_alcantara) December 3, 2021

‘Super Ripped Cat With Bulging Muscles’ Goes Viral

The cat has a rare genetic condition that makes him look like a weight lifter.

An incredibly muscular cat has taken the internet by storm — and shockingly, it’s not Buddy!

A Reddit user posted a photo of a Sphinx cat who looks like he eats UFC fighters for breakfast and bullies lions in his spare time. But it turns out there’s a medical reason for his bulging physique, and it’s not just the result of tens of thousands of kitty push-ups.

The hairless feline has “Myostatin-related muscle hypertrophy, a rare condition that causes muscles to grow excessively large,” the poster explained.

Ripped Kitty — “Yes, you’re totally right, that IS your spot. Forget I even asked.”

Humans and animals can be impacted by the condition. Myostatin-related muscle hypertrophy also results in reduced body fat and doesn’t just potentially double muscle size — it results in increased strength as well, per the National Institutes of Health.

“Affected individuals have up to twice the usual amount of muscle mass in their bodies. They also tend to have increased muscle strength,” according to the NIH. “This condition is not known to cause any medical problems, and affected individuals are intellectually normal.”

When one user asked if the cat will be alright, another answered in the affirmative, but with a caveat: “Anyone who pisses him off won’t be.”

The cat’s already racked up nicknames like Kitbull, Katzenegger and The Purrminator.

Asked for comment on the photo, Buddy the Cat insisted the super-muscular cat poses no threat to him.

“My meowscles are even yuger, it’s just that you can’t see them because of my fur,” Buddy explained. “If I were a hairless breed like a Sphinx you would see my bulging meowscles, but I’m a Buddinese tiger, and my coat is luxuriously silky smooth.”

Buddy the Handsome Cat — Buddy the Cat, pictured, says he’s “totally ripped” under his fur.

Buddy Condemns Scientists Who Claim Cats Are Psychopaths

The lead author of a UK study claims it’s “likely that all cats have an element of psychopathy.” Buddy the Cat disagrees.

NEW YORK — Buddy the Cat condemned British scientists who pegged cats as psychopaths in a new study, saying he’d like to “introduce them to my claws,” if not for the fact that he’s too charming to do something so uncouth.

“I was offended when I read that study, frankly,” Buddy said, pausing to spit out the bones of a mouse he’d just killed and sip from his bird blood cocktail. “The very idea is preposterous.”

Psychologistsfrom the University of Liverpool and Liverpool John Moores University developed a questionnaire that asks cat ~~owners~~ servants to rate their felines’ behavior based on 46 different behavioral statements.

Examples of the statements include: “My cat torments their prey rather than killing it straight away”, “my cat vocalises loudly (e.g meows, yowls) for no apparent reason”, and “my cat is very excitable (e.g goes into ‘overdrive’ and becomes uncoordinated).”

Respondents were asked to rate, on a 5-point scale, how closely each statement applied to their cat(s).

“Asking our servants to respond to the survey was the first mistake they made,” Buddy continued, using a claw to dig bits of mouse from between his teeth. “I mean, do you ask Beethoven’s gardener to evaluate the master’s symphonies? Would you ask the overnight office cleaning crew at Apple to gauge the brilliance of Steve Jobs? Would you ask Brian Scalabrine to weigh in on the transcendent talent of Michael Jordan? Of course not. So why would you ask my human to evaluate me? Why would you think such a simple creature could hope to understand the cathedral that is my mind?”

“And furthermore, why should I care? Does the lion concern himself with the opinions of sheep? I’m officially a jaguar, by the way. I don’t know if you knew that. Yeah. They welcomed me into their mystic community and call me Kinich Bajo, which means ‘god of wisdom.'”

Personality traits like delusions of grandeur, charm, lack of empathy and narcissism are typically associated with psychopaths, experts say. A psychopath might, for example, imagine he’s a large, muscular cat when in fact he’s 10 pounds soaking wet.

chairmanmeow3 — Buddy imagines himself as a powerful authoritarian leader

The degree of psychopathy varies widely among felines, lead author Rebecca Evans said.

“We believe that like any other personality trait, psychopathy is on a continuum, where some cats will score more highly than others,” Evans said. “It is likely that all cats have an element of psychopathy as it would have once been helpful for their ancestors in terms of acquiring resources, for example food, territory and mating opportunities.”

Kiwi Cat Dad Builds Lift For His Aging Buddy

Frodo the Cat is 20 years old and doesn’t get around like he used to, so his handy human put his handy skills to work and built the little guy his own lift.

Liam Thompson is a 21-year-old Youtuber who’s known for building cool stuff.

His cat’s name may be Frodo, but Thompson said he’s in “Gandalf territory” at 20 years old and has been having trouble getting around to his favorite spots, especially a sunny corner of the backyard where he likes to sit poolside and enjoy the New Zealand warmth.

“Despite his ancient-ness, he still insists on hobbling down these stairs every day to sit out in the sun,” Thompson says in a video about his latest project. “That is, until today.”

The video shows the handy Kiwi building an “elevator” — more like a stair lift for a cat — out of wood, an electronic hoist and a handful of small hardware pieces. The passenger compartment is a simple cart, and at the press of a button the cart descends or ascends the stairs along a wooden track.

“Are you ready to go downstairs without having to move a muscle?” he asks his cat before the maiden ride. “I hope so, because it took me four days.”

Thompson is delighted as the elevator works perfectly and Frodo rides it without fear or protest, laughing as the orange senior cat makes himself comfortable during the ride. The current setup requires Thompson to push a button, but perhaps in the future he can add a simple button for Frodo directly on the cart.