Category: Buddy

NEW YORK — The Big Apple’s newest cat cafe is doing a brisk business, offering cat lovers a new twist on the relaxing feline-and-coffee combo.

Instead of a typical cat cafe which could feature a dozen or more adoptable cats to interact with, Buddy’s Café and Catnip Lounge features one cat: Buddy, its proprietor.

For just $5 customers can come inside, enjoy a cup of coffee and spend their time petting and feeding Buddy. A separate menu offers a range of treats and catnip products which they can purchase to lavish on the gray tabby cat.

“It’s not easy being a one-cat operation, but I’m dedicated to my customers by making sure they can feed me and pet me as much as they want,” Buddy said as the cafe began to fill up.

By late afternoon several groups were seated at tables situated around a dais where Buddy stretched and yawned on a Roman-style chaise longue.

“Please, ladies, there’s enough of me to go around,” Buddy told a pair of customers who were arguing over which one of them was petting the feline first. “Sandra, why don’t you scratch behind my ears? Ah, that’s wonderful! Kim, my chin is free for scritches. Yes. You see? We can all get along.”

Buddy was able to prevent another argument when he announced he needed to use his litter box and four customers volunteered to carry him there. He gestured toward a gilded palanquin in the corner of the room which was carved with elaborate feline motifs.

“You can each take a corner and carry me,” he said, settling himself down on the palanquin’s cushion. “You are all privileged today, my human servants.”

Buddy’s Cat Café even offers a VIP-tier membership package, the Frequent Feeder Program. Frequent Feeders are given priority seating closest to Buddy and are the first permitted to feed him snacks and give him massages during the afternoon rush.

“Buddy so kawaii!” said one admirer, Hideshi Igawa. “I like to read shinbun and admire Budditsu.”

Not everything always runs smoothly at the cafe, however. Earlier this week a man entered claiming to be “Buddy’s human” and demanded the beloved feline “stop this ridiculousness and come home.” Buddy looked skeptically at the man and pretended not to know him.

“Sir, you’re going to have to buy a cup of coffee like everyone else and wait your turn,” said 27-year-old Kelly Hogan, a regular at the cafe. “Buddy, do you know this man?”

Buddy looked at his Big Buddy and pretended not to recognize him.

“I don’t,” he said. “Security, toss this troublemaker out! He’s trying to cut the line, and I won’t have my regular customers disturbed!”

Big Buddy screamed at his cat as two burly men dragged him out.

“I’ll get you for this, you little $#!+!” he yelled as the men tossed him out the front door. “No bed, no snuggles, no TURKEY!”

Buddy turned back toward his customers and cleared his throat.

“Where were we? Ah, yes. Little Jeffrey here was scratching my back, his mother was feeding me crunchy treats, and Mrs. Novello was next up with a bag of catnip. Let’s get back into it, shall we? People are waiting patiently!”