Buddy’s Browser History: Ozempic For Cats And Sexy Calicos

Buddy’s browser history provides a window into the depraved mind of everyone’s 683rd favorite feline named Buddy.

Monday, June 9, 2025:

Google search, 6.56am: oh zempic

Google search, 6:57am: ozempic

Wikipedia: Ozempic (pharmaceutical), 7:02am

Google search, 7:07am: ozempic 4 cars

Google search, 7:07am: ozempic 4 cats

Google search, 7:12am: why no ozempic 4 cats?

Pain In The Bud: Latest Stories, 7:44am

Pain In The Bud: Submit Comment: “LIES!!! BUDDY WOULD NEVAR RUN FROM A MOUSES! WHO WRITES THIS RAG?!?”, 7:49am

Google search, 2:33pm: how to get human to give more snax

Google search, 3:11am: hot calico

Google search, 3:14am: sexy calico

Google search, 3:21am: sexy calico new York area

Wednesday, June 11, 2025

Google search, 4:12pm: when do cats get growth spurt

Google search, 4:12pm: when do cats grow into tigers

Google search, 4:15pm: tiger meowscle workout

Thursday, June 12, 2025:

Google search, 1:03pm: turkey

Google search, 1:14pm: turkey

Wikipedia: Turkiye (country)

KFC.com: Order Online, 2:22pm

KFC.com: Colonel’s Original Recipe Bucket, 2:23pm

KFC.com: Confirm Your Order

Friday, June 13, 2025

Google search, 7:16pm: fursat the 13

Google search, 7:16pm: Friday the 13th

Wikipedia: Friday the 13th (film), 7:16pm

Google search, 7;21pm: is jason real?

Google search, 8:16pm: how 2 make human lay on couch

Google search, 8:19pm: how 2 lure human to couch

Google search, 8:23pm: 2nd best thing besides human to sleep on

Google search, 8:29pm: how 2 make human obey

Google search, 8:30pm: r humans stupid?

Google search, 8:44pm: stoopid sport ppl stand in field

Google search, 8:47pm: stoopid sport ppl stand in field and one guy waves stick try to hit ball

Wikipedia: Baseball, 8:52pm

A cat who ran onto the field at Yankee Stadium during a Yankees-Oriolesgame on Aug. 2, 2021. Since the feline, dubbed “rally cat” by the fans, interrupted the game, the Orioles endured a miserable stretch, losing 19 games in a row, while the Yankees went 18-3, including an 11-game win streak. Credit: Bronx Times

Google search, 10:15pm: buddy

Google search, 10:15pm: buddy the cat

Google search, 10:16pm: other buddy the cat

Google search, 10:17 pm: other buddy the cat famous

Google search, 10:19pm: FAMOUS BUDDY THE CAT

Famous Felines: A Site Dedicated To The Biggest Cat Celebrities On The Internet, 10:26pm

/Famous Felines: Buddy (Philadelphia cat)

/Famous Felines: Buddy (cute tabby from Florida

/Famous Felines: Buddy (Phoenix Zoo ocelot)

/Famous Felines: Buddy (TikTok star)

/Famous Felines: Buddy (fictional cat)

/Famous Felines: Buddy (other)

/Famous Felines: Buddy (500 to 599)

/Famous Felines: Buddy (600 to 699)

/Famous Felines: Buddy #683 (New York cat)

Google search, 11:01pm: how 2 get more famous

Cats Listed On Google Maps Are Getting Showered With Treats By Enamored Visitors. Buddy Wants In!

Some friendly felines boast five-star ratings in their listings, beating out top restaurants, hotels and nightclubs for highest-rated tourist attractions in their cities.

People have been listing their cats as tourist attractions on Google Maps, drawing five-star reviews from feline fans who come bearing snacks.

Titan the orange tabby, an absolute unit of a chonky cat who lives in Athens and is regularly fed by admirers, as well as “friendly neighborhood cats” in cities like Sydney, Australia, are earning ratings that most restaurateurs would envy.

“Visitors are evaluating a cat’s overall behaviour: enthusiastic purring, chonkiness, politeness and general adorability,” a story in The Guardian notes.

Titan, who likes to hang out in the ruins of the Acropolis, is the venerated subject of hundreds of glowing reviews on Google Maps.

“If there was a king in Athens, it would be him,” one reviewer declared, while another was laconic but no less enthralled: “HE IS GLORIOUS!”

In Sydney, where listing affable cats has become a trend, a moggie simply known as “friendly orange cat” had 117 reviews and a 4.9 rating before someone, presumably the cat’s caretaker, removed the listing.

Friendly orange cat’s listing before it blew up in popularity and the feline’s humans took the little one’s page down. Credit: Google Maps

Perhaps they were concerned F.O.C. was in danger of becoming the next Gacek, a famous chonkster in Poland who was the highest-rated tourist attraction in Szczecin, a city of almost 400,000.

Gacek had his own little house on the street complete with a bed, blankets, a spot where admirers could leave treats, and a note asking them to hold off on feeding him directly because he was gaining too much weight.

While Gacek’s popularity never waned, and in fact increased with each new press story or Youtube video about him, his humans made him an indoor-only cat after too many people ignored their pleas not to feed him. There were also a handful of incidents involving people who tried to take him, which was another factor in the decision to move him inside. It’s a reminder that there are dangers that come with publicly listing cats.

Buddy the Cat was giddy when he learned tourists were visiting specific cats and showering them with treats.

That said, Buddy is enamored with this idea. He envisions a Google Maps listing headlined: “MAGNIFICENT Cat In New York!” and a court of sorts where he can lounge on a gilded throne with red velvet cushions while “supplicants” line up to pay tribute to him in Tempations and Sheba Meaty Sticks.

“Your Grace, it is my life’s honor to greet your esteemed personage and to tell you that I have always been…”

“Yes, yes! What are those, crunchies? Leave them at the base of the steps to my dais and move along, there’s a whole crowd of people here who want to lavish snacks on me. Did anyone here bring any of those soft Blue turkey treats? Well, step forward! Lay ’em on me!”

It really is his dream: to get attention and an endless supply of snacks without having to actually do anything. He could spend the entire day lounging and napping, and people will simply bring him food and give him head scratches when he wants them.

Although, now that I think about it, I’m not sure how that’s really different than the arrangement he has now.

Header image credit: Hasan Albari/Pexels