thebigbuddy

If Cats Sounded Like Arnold Schwarzenegger

“Get to the choppah! Fill my bowl!” Cats and Arnold Schwarzenegger are a ridiculous and lulzy combination.

There’s so much negative and stressful nonsense online that occasionally something will come along and remind us that the internet can also be a platform for fantastic human creativity, silliness and hilarity.

If this isn’t one of those things, I don’t know what is. Some genius dreamed up the idea of cats sounding like Arnold Schwarzenegger instead of the meows we all know and (mostly) love. It’s glorious:

I love every ridiculous second of it, from the Schwarzeneggerian grunts to the insane babbling of the trio of cats watching birds from a windowsill, to the cat who looks at his human and says: “Come on! Come on! Do eeeit! Come on! We’ve got to go!”

It reminds me of comedian Pablo Francisco’s classic bit about Ahnold starring in a movie called “Little Tortilla Boy”:

Can you imagine your own cat(s) making Arnoldesque sounds instead of meowing? 🙂

Buddy Does Absolutely Nothing When Mouse Invades His Home

The apex predator of the household failed to wake up when a mouse invaded his territory, but totally would have taken care of it had he been awake, obviously.

NEW YORK — Buddy the Cat didn’t even lift a paw when a mouse invaded his domicile on Tuesday.

The gray tabby cat, who often brags of his “huge meowscles” and martial prowess, did not stir from his nap and remained asleep for the duration of the encounter, witnesses said.

“He was completely, utterly useless,” his human, Big Buddy, said. “Aren’t cats supposed to be the bane of rodents? Don’t they have super sensitive hearing that can home in on the high frequency squeaks of mice?”

Buddy, who only stirred after the mouse was removed from the premises, stood up and yawned, then asked what all the commotion was about.

“Oh,” he said. “Well that mouse was really lucky I was napping, otherwise I’d do something totally badass.”

As of press time, human concern was centered on acquiring mouse traps at the store, but Buddy insisted that wouldn’t be necessary.

“I will roar and the mouses won’t come near here again,” he said, bellowing in his Elmo-like voice. “There. Problem solved.”

Update: In honor of Buddy’s glorious and momentous victory, we’ve created the following artwork:

Stray: The Buddies Are Locked And Loaded

We’re ready to play as a cat!

I bought my copy of Stray and I’m all ready for when it goes live at noon on Wednesday. I expect Buddy will find his place on my shoulder, drawn by the meows of the game’s protagonist, and perhaps even “attack” enemies on screen like he’s done in the past.

In the meantime, Stray has become Steam’s most-wishlisted game. Steam is by far the most popular digital platform for PC players, so reaching the top is quite an achievement for an indie studio. Stray is also an exclusive launch on Playstation, so XBox players will miss out on this one for the time being. (Sorry, dudes.)

Early reviews are in, with a developing consensus that Stray provides a refreshing change in perspective for the adventure game format. Some are even calling it one of the best games of the year, which is great news: The history of gaming is full of titles that looked amazing in previews and generated incredible hype only to fall flat when players finally got to experience them.

Of course we’ll have our own review here on PITB, and we’ve been looking forward to this game for years now, so I don’t want to go in with too many preconceived notions.

I can’t wait to jump into the paws of the game’s furry protagonist and experience the eerie future Hong Kong for myself.

If you can’t get enough Stray in the meantime, the developers have written a blog post introducing the world to Murtaugh, the real-life inspiration for the game’s feline protagonist. Murtaugh was rescued from under a car near Montpellier, France, he’s one of two cats who count studio founders Viv and Koola as their human servants, and he’s known as “The Boss” to the development team.

“Even though the character in the game is not a direct reproduction of Murtaugh, he was definitely a huge inspiration for its appearance and was a great support during the whole development,” Stray producer Swann Martin-Raget wrote.

Main character animator Miko also looked to Oscar, a Sphynx, when trying to capture the grace of feline movements. Oscar’s lack of fur allowed Miko to see his underlying musculature work as he went about the daily business of being a cat.

“Oscar is a Sphynx who comes to work with us at the studio almost everyday and was super helpful when Miko needed to have actual video reference of some jumps and runs,” Martin-Raget wrote. “Animating a quadruped is already quite challenging but the subtleties of a cat’s movements are incredibly precise and hard to convey properly.”

And finally there’s Jun, whose official title is executive chief general president commander director officer at the studio. Jun was responsible for supervising the humans working on the game, and of course, napping:

Dad And Mom Cats Hold Paws As Mom Nurses Newborn Kittens

Most tomcats aren’t interested in their offspring, but some are excellent and devoted fathers. This little guy has apparently fallen in love with his kiddos.

A cat has been hailed as a better father than many humans after his people uploaded a video of the proud father holding paws with his “baby mama” while she nurses their kittens.

Momma cat went into labor and the chivalrous tomcat “was with her the whole way,” user Anaya wrote in the caption. The short video pans over the top of a cardboard box where the happy couple lounge protectively around their babies.

@1tspofdepression
Better baby daddy than most humans 🥲 caught them holding hands after the birth 🥹 #fyp #kittens #cutecatsoftiktok
♬ original sound – Anaya

A follow-up video shows the ginger tom with his kittens while mom takes a break to eat and rehydrate.

@1tspofdepression
Replying to @reb344 Daddy babysitting the kitties why mummy eats 😭 #daddyduties #fyp #cutecatsoftiktok
♬ Aesthetic – Tollan Kim

I showed the videos to Bud to get his reaction.

“That’s very sweet, assuming of course you’re the type of male cat who wants to settle down and raise a family,” he said. “But some of us are so popular with the ladies that it would be a crime to remove ourselves from the field, so to speak. Did you know my tour bus was once overturned by thousands of screaming school girls in Japan? Yeah. I mean, no big deal.”

It’s been confirmed Buddy does not know he’s neutered. When his human tried to carefully broach the subject, the silver tabby declared it “fake news” before checking his toy basket to confirm that he does indeed still possess all of his balls.

“You can’t fool me,” Buddy said afterward. “When it’s time to settle down and I find the right kitty, we’ll make lots of beautiful kittens and grant awesome names to my issue, at which time I’ll name a successor. You know I’m an earl in the UK, don’t you? Yeah. Queen Elizabeth herself created my peerage. No big deal.”

buddy_stretching — Above: Buddy says it would be unfair to female cats across the world if he were to settle down and take himself off the dating market.

Actually, Cats CAN Dance! We Deeply Regret The Error

Buddy reminded us that cats can in fact dance, and they’ve got serious moves.

After I committed the unspeakable crime of posting a story about amazing birds here on Pain In the Bud, Buddy himself took time out of his busy napping and eating schedule to educate me on feline abilities.

Cats can in fact dance, the little guy told me. As evidence, he presented the glorious Youtube rendition of Ievan Polkka, featuring blind Turkish singer Bilal Göregen passionately performing a Finnish folk song while a cat vibes to it in the foreground.

The cat comes in at around the 55 second mark, but you’ll want to watch the whole magnificent video. Thanks, Buddy, for correcting me, and I humbly apologize for ever doubting the many talents of your people.