cologne – Pain In The Bud

Earlier we wrote about the accidental discovery that ocelots respond enthusiastically to Calvin Klein’s Obsession for Men. Subsequent experiments proved jaguars and tigers are particularly fond of the scent as well.

Then a reader’s comment posed a question so obvious, we’re ashamed we didn’t think of it ourselves: do domestic kitties like colognes?

To find out, we asked Buddy the Cat, aka Little Buddy, to evaluate several fragrances. He’s taken the assignment seriously and provided thoughtful analysis, giving us just a hint of what it’s like to have an incredibly keen feline sense of smell.

Dolce and Gabbana Pour Homme

“The first ecstatic whiff takes me back to kittenhood. Days napping in the sun and chasing flies. Fresh cut grass and fragrant foliage. I was so deep into my reverie that the base notes nearly bowled me over when they arrived suddenly in their regal glories, like a king’s entourage without a herald. Rich cedar and musk evoke hours spent luxuriating in the potent funk of my human’s sneakers. Quiet woods and spices, like a litter box a day after feasting on rabbit, gently whisper of naps. Buddy likes this one!”

Cool Water by Davidoff

“Its initial briny hints conjure impressions of a dock at low tide, fish baking in the sun while a graybeard captain lights his pipe. Through confident middle notes, its warm embrace gently tugs you inward, like an antiquarian beckoning you inside a rare book shop with a rodent infestation. Aged leather book bindings and dark oak react provocatively with the paw-licking intensity of decadent mouse urine. Meowgnificent!”

Jaguar by Jaguar

“A carnival of candy for the nose, like accompanying your human to the bathroom post-Chipotle! The first hints arrive furtively, like a disguised aristocrat casting nervous glances as he makes a beeline for a brothel. Then it asserts itself in force: an army of jaguars advancing in the moonlight, their meowscles rippling in the silver mist, scent-marking in unison! Musk, civetone, ammonia. Pheromonic bliss!”

Drakkar Noir by Guy Laroche

“Powerful but restrained, like a certain silver tabby in his carrier, a single spritz of this magnificent scent conjures memories of halcyon days as a young feline. Mid notes whisper of woods and spices, a grove of wild catnip undulating in a summer breeze. Underneath it all is an unshakable foundation of warmth, like being swaddled in my human’s t-shirt after it’s been worn on a humid 97 degree day.”

Tyrannosaurus Rex by Zoologist

“Bergamot and verdant iridescence arrive as our olfactory escorts, ushering us in to a delectably frisky gourmand accord. It’s as if we’re drifting on chocolate seas with vanilla currents playfully nudging us to shore where beefy undertones await. Umami! Steaks sizzle, beckoning our noses toward the grill, stomachs rumbling. A most delicious scent!”

So there you have it. T Rex emerges as the winner in this round, but can it compare to mainstays by Yves Saint Laurent and Giorgio Armani? Only Buddy can tell us. Tune in next time as we accompany the Budster on an aromatic journey!

PARIS – Buddy the Cat’s much-anticipated new line of fragrances, Litière Eau de Cologne and Litière Parfum Pour Elle, will hit stores just in time for the summer season.

The feline-inspired scents were created in collaboration with the Purrsace perfumery and promise a pheromonal feast fantastique for the olfactory senses.

Litière Eau de Cologne, Buddy’s signature scent for males, “combines a littery musk with the earthy, seductive aura of fresh turkey, cinnamon, triumphant notes of fiery wasabi and subtle hints of tuna. As decadent and lazy as felines themselves, Litière Eau de Cologne works best as a celebration of sedentary existence, of many hours nestled in the warm embrace of a favorite couch spot with the sun on your back. Meowgnificent!”

Its sister scent, Litière Pour Elle, is “infused with notes of blackberry jam and an oxytocinal essense that evokes kittens snoozing in a purratic pile after their morning milk This lush and leafy fragrance is designed to be carried by the soft breezes of spring and summer, gently wafting its way toward the olfactory organs of strapping toms and leaving no doubt that its wearer is in heat. With Litière Pour Elle, you’ll have your next litter of kittens in no time.”

Litiere Pour Elle: For when you want every tom within five miles to know you’re in heat.

Purrsace is betting big on the novel fragrances, backing a campaign featuring commercials in which a nude Buddy emerges from a hot tub, eases into a relaxed pose and extends his claws as a pair of models towels his luxuriant fur dry.

Another spot is slated to run during the Academy Awards, La Liga, Serie A and Ligue 1 matches, as well as Wimbledon and the French Open.

That advert depicts Buddy with a beret and a baguette, enjoying coffee and croissants on the terrace of a Parisian cafe before female cats recognize him by his scent and run after him. After several frames depicting an intensifying pursuit, the camera pans out to a wider shot showing the streets of Paris overrun with yowling female cats looking for Buddy.

“It has been my life’s l’honor working with Messieur Buddeaux,” Purrsace chief perfumist Guillaume Stéphane Olivier Jean-Henri François Laurent Remontoire said. “Litière will be the aroma of choice for felines sophistiqué!”