Buddy To Appear In Upcoming Episode of HGTV’s Box Hunters

Buddy the Cat tours a trio of elegant box homes in the new season of HGTV’s popular series Box Hunters.

NEW YORK — Will he go with the “modest” 32-room castle, the manor with elegant cardboard balconies or the minimalist keep with high walls and strong fortifications?

Viewers of HGTV’s hit show, Box Hunters, will have to tune in on Wednesday, Dec. 13 to find out!

The episode will air on fHGTV, (Feline HGTV), the network’s cat-centric sister station, and will follow Buddy the Cat as his box estate agent shows him three unique properties.

“Buddy the Cat is a young professional whose hobbies include taking over the world, gorging on turkey and getting high on catnip,” the narrator says in the episode’s opening sequence. “He’s looking for a property that will fit in his living room, can accommodate a nuclear bunker and serve as a headquarters for planning world domination, all while providing pleasant spaces to entertain guests. Can he find a box house that will fit his criteria? Find out in this episode of Box Hunters!”

Like many cats who are featured on the show, Buddy has a predetermined list of features he considers absolutely necessary, including a complete lack of doors, no baths, and quiet napping chambers.

“It has to have a certain je ne sais quoi as a dwelling meant for me and not just some regular cat, of course,” Buddy said. “But it needn’t be unnecessarily elaborate.”

Patches, the box estate agent, told Buddy they’d “start with something modest” while leading him to a towering box castle with a grand staircase and wide front entrance.

Buddy's Box Castles
A modest box castle design toured by Buddy the Cat.

“I like the understated design of this one,” Buddy said. “The ground floor entrance leads directly into the Grand Napping Chamber with smaller, more private napping accommodations accessible from the main chamber.”

Patches nodded.

“And you can see here, the litter box room is filled with all the modern amenities, including a pad that catches stray litter and a cardboard floor designed to look like marble,” she said. “Stepping out into the grand foyer, we have ample storage space in the adjoining closets for all your toys, your catnip stash and your weapons. It’s even got a Roomba garage!”

Buddy's Box Castles

A second design, which Patches labeled “more of a classically styled castle,” features a pair of ground-level entrances, several balconies, and “ample space for walking the upper parapets.”

“The wrought cardboard filigrees are fabulous,” Buddy said, running a paw along a faux window where dozens of holes had been punched through to create a screen effect.

Buddy's Cardboard Castles

Finally they toured a minimalist keep that filled most of Buddy’s requirements but didn’t have all the bells and whistles.

“The good news is, it’s significantly less than your budget of 50 cans of wet food,” Patches said. “You’ll have cans left over for renovations and to customize the space. And moving along here past the master naproom, this doorway leads out to the central courtyard. This is a really nice space for entertaining, especially in the summer months when it’s warm out and you and your friends might want to dine outside on kibble, turkey, mouse or whatever your preference may be.”

Catch the full episode on Wednesday, Dec. 13 at 7:30 p.m.!

I Made A Custom Cat T-Shirt For My Niece

It’s a one-off with the possibility of more for my niece who “loves kitties!”

My niece is six years old and she “loves kitties!”

Unfortunately she’s allergic to cats. Hopefully her allergies become less severe with time as mine did and she can adopt a cat at some point, but until then she has to settle for admiring felines at a distance and occasionally petting Buddy.

Even though my niece can’t have a cat of her own I can still encourage her love of cats, so I made a cat t-shirt for her as one of her Christmas gifts this year:

I’m using the same image for February in Buddy’s Meownificent 2024 Catlendar, which should be available soon. I’ll post the link when it’s live on Redbubble.

This is now the second t-shirt with my custom artwork featuring cats. I have a t-shirt of the photoshop image I created of Bud playing basketball:

buddyinspiringhandsome

The print came out surprisingly well, but in the future I’m going to stick with artwork rather than composites of photographs/photoshops like this one, for the simple fact that the simpler color schemes and cleaner lines work better on t-shirts than photographs.

Happy Festivus 2022!

A Festivus for the rest of us who reject the relentless commercialization of the holidays.

Are you fed up with the relentless commercialization of the holiday season? Take heart: You’re not alone!

The late Jerry Stiller, in his iconic role as Seinfeld‘s Frank Costanza, explained the origin of his anti-consumerist celebration in a now-infamous 1997 episode titled “The Strike“:

“Many Christmases ago I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way … Out of that, a new holiday was born. A Festivus for the rest of us!”

On the surface Festivus  — celebrated annually on Dec. 23 — looks like any other family gathering for the holidays, but the details make it special. They include a Festivus pole instead of a tree, the Feats of Strength — in which a younger relative attempts to pin the family patriarch — and the Airing of Grievances:

“At the Festivus dinner, you gather your family around, and you tell them all the ways they have disappointed you over the past year,” Frank explains.

Festivus is completely absurd, which is what makes it fun, but it’s also a strong reaction against the all-encompassing commercialization of the holiday season. Every year it seems like the retail industry nudges the season a little further back. At first it was a few weeks, then the end of Thanksgiving marked the beginning of the holidays.

Now it’s not unusual to see lights, wreaths and images of Santa popping up in early November, setting the tone for more sales, more gifts, and more spending.

Of course if you’re reading this site, you’re a cat lover and you’re probably intimately familiar with the non-stop meowing of a dissatisfied cat. Not enough food, not enough snacks, not enough space on the bed, not enough scritches. To a cat, the Airing of Grievances can take place on any day of the year — and it often does. But that doesn’t mean there can’t be a special edition of it on Festivus.

Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s time for me to sit down to the Festivus table and get berated by Bud. I’m told his list of grievances is quite long this year.

Happy Festivus!

Buddy The Cat’s Christmas Songbook

Buddy the Cat sings holiday and Christmas classics from a feline perspective.

Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, I am going to destroy you!
Oh Christmas tree, oh Big Buddy, I am going to annoy you!
Got yummies in my bowl to taste, and ornaments and lights to break
Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, I am going to destroy you!

Your branches point so high and straight
Just begging for a swipe to take
Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree
I will annihilate you!

Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, how lovely are your branches?
Oh Christmas tree, oh Big Buddy, I am going to faceplant it!
The Hallmarks will shatter and break, I’ll make disaster of this place
Oh Christmas tree, oh Big Buddy, I am going to annoy you!

You sparkle like the morning dew
Look mangled when I’m done with you
Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree
What fun it is to wreck stuff!

averybuddychristmas_01

 

Buddy’s Favorite Things

Temps in my bowlses and snacks in the kitchen
Taunting the street cats and smacking some kittens
Leaving the neighbor’s dog tied up in strings
These are a few of my favorite things!

Bubble wrap, peanuts and UPS boxes
4 a.m. zooms when I scream like a rocket
Waking my human with songs that I sing
These are a few of my favorite things!

At nail clip time, things I dislike
When I’m really mad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don’t feel so bad!

Calico booties and slices of Gouda
Ambushing like I’ve been launched by bazooka
No consequences ’cause I am the king
These are a few of my favorite things!

Screeching in anguish at doors closed between us
Shattering Wise Men and statues of Jesus
I helped myself to the buffalo wings
These are a few of my favorite things!

Meow at my bowl as if I’ve been forgotten
Screeching in panic ’cause I see the bottom
Gorging on kibble till I am puking
These are a few of my favorite things!

When I’m told no, ’cause I broke those
When my dad is mad
I’ll get away with my favorite things
Because I’m a real cute cat!

averybuddychristmas_3(1)

It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Everywhere I look
Take a look at the Christmas tree, it’s been redesigned by me
And the lights are broken!

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Coal in every sock
It’s beginning to look a bit like I’ve had too much catnip
And now I’m dizzy!

A Santa Claws surprise and a Roomba for me to ride
Is the wish of Buddy the Cat
A box to take a nap and another to take a crap
What do you think of that?
And my human can hardly wait for vacation!

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas
With every wrap I shred
Now it’s nap time for me, underneath the Christmas tree
Then I’ll demand treats!

christmascat3

Twelve Days of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas
My human gave to me
A can of delicious turkey

On the second day of Christmas
My human gave to me
Two window perches
And a can of delicious turkey

On the third day of Christmas
My human gave to me
Three cozy boxes
Two window perches
And a can of delicious turkey

On the fourth day of Christmas
My human gave to me
Four kneading blankets
Three cozy boxes
Two window perches
And a can of delicious turkey

On the fifth day of Christmas
My human gave to me
Five golden bowls
Four kneading blankets
Three cozy boxes
Two window perches
And a can of delicious turkey

On the sixth day of Christmas
My human gave to me
Six Chewy orders
Five golden bowls
Four kneading blankets
Three cozy boxes
Two window perches
And a can of delicious turkey

On the seventh…zzzz…
…zzzz…

Hey, Bud?

…zzz…turkeh…zzzz…

Bud!

…zzz…

Well, it looks like the catnip and tryptophan have done their thing and the little guy is asleep, dreaming of turkey and presents. Don’t worry, he’ll be singing these songs for five more days. Five more days?!?! Ugh…

 

merrybudmas

I Smell Treason In The Air!

Buddy uses his powers of deduction to reveal a disturbing truth: Big Buddy is making plans to go away, and he’s not bringing Buddy.

A special message from Buddy:

There is treason in the air, dear readers! I can smell it, just as surely as I can smell an open tin of catnip from three rooms away.

There has been increased laundry activity, hushed talk of a place called North Carolina, and the suspiciously early decommissioning of the Christmas tree.

My food has been inventoried and a portion of it set aside. I am not very good at math, but it appears to be at least four or fivedays’ worth of perfect portions wet food in addition to kibble.

The Great Cabinet of Yums

Most distressing of all, Big Buddy has changed into the same shirt three nights in a row: The very shirt he leaves on the bed when he goes away, believing his scent will comfort me. (Perhaps it does for less sophisticated creatures like dogs. Oh, to be so simple-minded!)

I know based on past experience that someone will enter my realm daily to feed me and give me fresh water. I also know it’s likely going to be the nice lady who used to play with me after feeding me…until I attacked her the last time she was my cat sitter.

It seemed like the right move at the time, but I regret it now. She will probably feed me and run out. 😦

What I’d like to know is: What did I do to deserve this betrayal? Shouldn’t I go with Big Buddy to this mysterious place called the Outer Banks? And what makes the Outer Banks so special, anyway? The low interest rates? The free checking accounts? A cool vault with one of those big, heavy doors you see in movies?

I guess it’s not all bad. I’ve only been sleeping 13 hours a night lately, so some down time will allow me to catch up on my beauty rest.

Also, the entire place could do with a thorough scent-marking, and not having a human around means there won’t be any complaining about it.

But who will I sleep on? Who will give me snacks when I meow for them? Who will tell me I’m a good boy and scratch my head?