Buddy – Page 51 – Pain In The Bud

Woman Calls Boyfriend ‘Weird And Creepy’ For Being A Cat Dad

A man says his girlfriend is worried his posts about his new kittens will embarrass her, and has demanded he take them down.

Is it “weird” and “creepy” to call yourself a cat dad?

One Redditor’s girlfriend thinks so, and didn’t hesitate to tell him. The 24-year-old poster says he’s had cats since he was 15 years old, and his current cat recently gave birth to a litter of kittens.

“I was so happy I took a pic and posted it online with the title saying that I’m now a cat dad for these cute kittens and that they’re my babies,” he wrote. “My post got lots of likes and reactions, but when my girlfriend saw it she picked a fight with me calling it cringe that I constantly refer to these kittens as my babies. She told me it’s just weird and lowkey creepy.”

The post comes from Reddit’s ever-flowing fount of entertainment, the subreddit known as “Am I The Asshole?“

In his version of the story, the Redditor says his girlfriend demanded he remove the post because she was worried it would cause her embarrassment with her friends. He refused, they argued, and she left to stay at a friend’s house to cool off.

The situation has not been resolved.

“We’re still fighting about it and she keeps on about how inconsiderate I am to keep doing something I know she’s uncomfortable with,” Mr. Cat Dad writes.

Man and his cat — Credit: Tough Guys Holding Pets

The response among Redditors was overwhelmingly in favor of the poster, saying he’s emphatically “not the asshole.” Many responded with their own stories about cat dads, while others said the girlfriend was perpetuating harmful gender stereotypes.

“I feel sorry for your girlfriend,” a female poster wrote. “She has no joy in her heart and worried entirely too much about what other people think. Spoiler: nobody cares, live your best life.”

Keeping in mind these posts only tell one side of the story, it’s not unusual to hear about people who think men who like cats are weird, just like it’s pretty common to hear women called “crazy cat ladies.”

We don’t have that problem here at PITB, mostly because Bud is undeniably manly. If you saw a guy walking down the street with a tiger on a leash, you wouldn’t mess with him, would you? Well, Buddy’s indistinguishable from a tiger: same predatory gait, same intimidating and intense presence, same razor sharp claws and rippling meowscles.

I don’t call Bud my child or my son. He’s my Buddy. But if guys want to call themselves cat dads, who’s to say that’s a bad thing?

It’s Actually Really Easy To Teach Your Cat To High Five

Training is also fun for your cat since it’s interactive, challenging and a diversion from routine. Plus, kitty gets treats.

My cousin thought I was joking when I told him my cat would come when called, sit when told and give me some love with a high five.

“Get outta here,” he said as we watched an NBA playoff game.

“Okay then,” I said. “Hey Bud!”

Buddy popped up from wherever he’d been lounging with a “Mrrrrrrrrppp!” He regarded me quizzically with his parakeet green eyes, knowing there was probably a treat in it for him as he padded toward me.

“Sit,” I said, gesturing for him to park his behind about two feet away from me. He sat.

“High five!” I said as Buddy leaned forward and slapped his paw against my palm.

I tossed him a treat for a job well done. If it were up to Bud, we’d high-five another 10 times.

There are a lot of misconceptions about cats, and one of them is the idea that felines aren’t amenable to training. It’s why people use the phrase “trying to herd cats” to describe an impossible task.

People don’t expect to see a cat complying, and they definitely don’t expect to see our feline friends pulling off tricks, which makes it more fun to defy expectations.

It’s easy to train your cat to pull off simple tricks — so easy that I almost couldn’t believe it when Bud was reliably high fiving me within a week.

Cat High Five — It makes for a good party trick and a way to bond with your feline friend.

Teaching a cat to sit is a prerequisite for high fives. It’s a straightforward and easy process.

After that, it’s really just a matter of building trust with your cat so she’ll allow you first to touch her paw, then to gently take it in your hand and raise it. The first few sessions, all you need to do is touch or hold your cat’s paw. On the second day, start to raise it slightly.

Cats don’t do well with long training sessions anyway, so the time commitment is minimal. One or two sessions a day, 10 to 15 minutes each.

Every time you touch kitty’s paw, bring it a little bit higher than the last time, rewarding your cat with encouragement and a treat. After a few sessions, your cat will anticipate this new ritual you’ve got going and will raise her paw as soon as you start.

The last step is holding kitty’s paw against your outstretched palm for just a second or two, then rewarding her with a treat.

That’s it. You’re done.

Run through the trick a few times a day after your cat’s got it down, to reinforce good high fiving form and whichever affirmations you choose. (I chose to say “Good boy!” each time Bud pulled it off rather than use a clicker.) Either method works, since the important things are consistency and positive reinforcement immediately after your cat does well. You want to make sure you click or say “Good boy!” right away so your cat knows the praise is triggered by a successful high five. (Or an intermediary paw raise if you’re still working on the trick.)

For a more detailed breakdown of how to do it, check out this video from CatManToo, a professional dog trainer who adjusted his methods for cats. This is the method I used to train Bud. Again, you don’t actually need a clicker, just a consistent method of feedback to signal that your cat is doing well:

Who Has A Box? I Has A Box!

A new box arrived today from Amazon, the company that sends boxes!

I have a new box. Didn’t know if you knew that. Yeah, it’s awesome! It’s square, and made of cardboard, and you can sits in it.

After Big Buddy removed the irrelevant item inside — something that came in its own smaller box, which shall be investigated at a later time — I inspected the box from the inside and outside to make sure it was suitable.

Sure enough it turned out to be a good box, so I sat in it! Isn’t that awesome?

Who doesn’t love boxes? They’re so…boxy. You can sits in them. When you’re inside a box, you can see humans, but humans can’t see you. Also, boxes are cozy.

I have a new box!

Buddy In A Box! — “Hi, you ordered a new Buddy?”

Dear Buddy: HELP! I’m Scared Of Ghosts And Monsters!

As one of the bravest cats on planet Earth, Buddy is uniquely qualified to advise scaredy cats who get easily freaked out by horror movies.

Dear Buddy,

My human likes to watch horror movies and they’re freaking me out! I can’t even look at mirrors since we watched Oculus, I jump at shadows ever since watching 30 Days of Night, and I wet my favorite napping spot the night we saw The Ring.

But it gets worse! My human spent almost two weeks watching a TV series called The Haunting of Hill House, which was so scary, scarier than vacuum cleaners and filled with terrifying scenes! It had all kinds of monsters and people dying and countless sinister-looking ghosts hidden in the background of every scene.

Buddy, I can’t sleep at night, even with my human. I’m scared of monsters in the closet or under the bed, and ghosts outside the bedroom door. I’m scared they’re gonna get me in my sleep!

Help me, Buddy!

Terrified in Tallahassee

Dear Tallahassee,

You’ve come to the right cat, amigo! Among our kind the name Buddy is synonymous with bravery as well as good looks and charm, and I’m known for keeping my cool in circumstances that would reduce lesser cats to frazzled, freaked-out messes.

I’m going to let you in on a little secret, one they don’t teach to just any cat or kitten: Get under the blankets!

You see, blankets are about more than keeping those furless humans warm when they sleep. Blankets have magical properties that repel monsters and ghosts. They’re like shields or magic force fields!

Humans know that if you’re scared and you think there might be monsters in your home, the best solution is to get completely under the blankets, wrap yourself up nice and cozy and rest easy knowing the safety they will afford you until sunrise, when ghosts and monsters have to retreat or die in the sunlight. (Or was that vampires? I get things mixed up sometimes.)

Anyway, being the brave cat I am, I’m totally not scared of anything and I don’t have to hide under blankets. In fact, my human sleeps easy knowing that I’m guarding him. But if I were scared, Tallahassee, I’d dive under some magical blankets and feel my worries melt away.

Your fearless friend,

Buddy

Ghosts and Monsters! — Buddy is widely regarded as one of the bravest cats in the world.

Dear Buddy: Why Do Some Cats Have Flabby Stomachs?

Buddy explains the primordial pouch, a feature that allows cats to do some really awesome stuff in battle.

Dear Buddy,

Why do some cats (like you) have flabby tummies? Why do those flabby stomachs jiggle when some cats (like you) run around? Like Anna Delvey famously asked Vivian: “Are you pregnant or are you so very, very fat?”

Horrified in Honolulu

Dear Horrified,

FAKE NEWS.

What you’re seeing is my primordial pouch, also known as the Warrior’s Pouch, the Paunch of Feline Heroes and the Champion’s Abdomen. When it’s prominent, as in my case, it indicates the cat in question comes from a line of feline warriors, and that the blood of fierce combatants courses through his veins.

Buddy vs The Dragon — A painting depicting the Battle of Felinar Caverns, when Buddy slew the dragon Ysunvaer in single combat. Original image credit: Johan Grenier

If your primordial pouch is not prominent, it means you’re descended from wimps who probably hid under the stairs when faced with threats, like the angry machine god Vakuum and the Elevator, the Mysterious Room That Eats People.

You see, according to scientists, the primordial pouch offers protection to our vital organs during battle, so an errant slash won’t open our guts.

The pouch serves another critical function, allowing us to fully stretch our bodies, thus making possible the incredibly acrobatic and awesome moves that distinguish us as the graceful combatants we are. The primordial pouch makes it possible for us to jump really high, cover incredible distance in a single bound, and tear up the dance floor.

As you can clearly see from the photos, I’m all rippling muscle aside from the primordial pouch, so I’m totally not chonky.

Your Champion,

Buddy